Asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake: Let her pursue it

Asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake

Asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake

Asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake.  So you don’t want to be a player and want to be a dater?  Hey no worries man.  Most of us have wanted a relationship as some point.  Maybe you don’t like talking to many girls at once, or it’s just a lot to manage on top of owning a business, working out, and keeping up with your hobbies.

There are tons of benefits to having a girlfriend like having a deeper connection + companionship, unprotected sex, consistent sex, and someone who can support you as you build your empire.

Assuming you’re staying focused on your purpose and will avoid thinking she’s the one, then getting having a girlfriend with a high quality woman can be a solid decision.  But asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake.

Want to get a girl as your girlfriend?

Stop pursuing the relationship.  It seems counter intuitive.  You want her as your girlfriend, so shouldn’t you be direct and lock her down?  No.  In fact you shouldn’t want her as your girlfriend.  At least not right away.  In fact even if you like her and she has the signs of being a good girlfriend, she should want it more than you.

If you want the relationship more than her, you’ll be in a feminine state.  Women should be the ones pursuing the relationship.  This will keep them feminine.  You’ll get the best versions of the girls you date when they want the relationship with you.  When you want the relationship, you’ll become a man with scarcity and become less attractive to her.

Men pursue sex, women pursue relationships

Pursuing sex is masculine.  Women should still initiate sex with you once you two have been fucking for a while or if she’s your girlfriend.  But in the beginning, you should focus on keeping the relationship sexual.

Pursuing committed relationships is feminine.  If you pursue the relationship, you’ll be giving her the power.  You’re going to be in a feminine state trying to lock her down.  By getting sex from her you should have gotten what you wanted.  If you and her and consistently fucking and you’re the one pursing the relationship then she’ll be in a masculine state while you’ll be in your feminine.  Which means she’ll reject your offer, or she’ll accept but will control the relation ship + eventually dump or cheat on you.

Let her chase you down

dread game

What you want is for her to ask “what are we” or to give you an ultimatum.  Well, if you want her as your girlfriend that is.  If you’re having fun being single as a player then you’ll just want to keep the consistent sex with no commitment.

But for all of you daters out there, if you want her as your girlfriend, you need to wait for her to want it more.  It needs to be her idea.  Trust me, if a girl really likes you, she’ll try to get you in a relationship so she doesn’t have to worry about you fucking other women.

How to get her to ask you to be her boyfriend or commit to her

So you want her as your girlfriend?  Well she has to be the one to ask.  Then you can decide to date her more seriously.

I have women try to lock me down as their boyfriend all the time.  These are women I see regularly for sex and dates.   If I’m looking for a girlfriend and the girl meets my requirements then I consider it.  Although most of the time like right now, I try to keep things casual until the girls eventually burn out and stop seeing me for a guy whoo will commit.  And then they usually come back around for rebound sex, but that’s for another article.

But enough about me bragging about the player lifestyle.  If you want her as your girlfriend, you know asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake.

She needs to ask you, she needs to bring up that she wants to be more serious with you.  I usually avoid these conversations as long as possible.  But since you want her as your girlfriend, this will be music to your ears.  And the way you do this is simple.

Become busy

Act like you’re a busy man, a player, who has interest in her, but is still unavailable.  If you have a business, or have a main job and a side business, you’re dating other women, and you have hobbies, then you’ll naturally act like this.

But even if you aren’t fucking or dating other women, you still need to be busy.  You can’t be putting all of your energy into her.  Because that’s is what’s going to have you chasing the relationship.

Have fun with her and bring out her feminine side

How to Remain Detached from a Woman

When you two are together, which isn’t all the time because you’re busy, make things fun.  Fuck her like a sex god and get her addicted to your cock.  Let her cook for you or do other things for you that will bring out her feminine, nurturing side.

This way you’ll bring out her feminine energy.  The more you do this with a woman, the more she’ll like you.  She’ll enjoy the time she spends with you.  And she’ll feel like a woman when she’s with a man that has your energy.

Getting her to do things for you like cooking or sucking your dick is one the easiest ways to get her to be in her feminine energy.  Admittedly I like to cook myself.  And I’ve used cooking a meal together as a way to get women to come over to fuck for the first time.  However, it’s an act of service that’s feminine in nature.  Which means you need to get her to do things like this for you.  If you love cooking then at least get her to help out or clean up.

Most of the time I don’t tell girls I cook well and like to get them in the habit of cooking for me.  But this is just one example.  You can get her to wear an outfit you like or do other things for you that she’ll enjoy and invest her energy into.

Get her to chase you

This goes back to being busy, but it more than just having stuff to do in life.  You need to get her to chase you.  She needs to start texting you first more often, pushing you to hang out, and in general show more effort.  This gradually happens over time.  With most women, unless they have huge initial interest, you’ll have to put more effort at first.  But eventually you need to get this to switch.

She needs to pursue you more than 1/2 of the time.  This will begin to happen once you start fucking her well and get her on your schedule.

Look for the red flags

drama queen

Don’t be so quick to try and get her to ask to be your girlfriend.  The shorter you know a woman, the less you’ll be able to see red flags for relationship status.  Because when you first meet someone, it’s easy for them to act good and put on a front.

And the opposite is also true.  The longer you know a woman, the more of the real her you’ll see.  She’ll also indirectly tell on herself through stories of her life.  Over time she’ll give away how she has acted in the past and you’ll be able to use this as intel to see if you really want her as your girlfriend or not.

Let her pursue it

Asking her to be your girlfriend is a mistake.  Let her pursue it.  Keep giving her great sex, an amazing time, and keep her feminine.  Stay masculine and focused on your purpose.  Don’t chase her validation.  Get her to chase your validation and approval.  Sooner or later she’ll start  bringing up the two of you, asking about what you think of relationships, and try to position herself as your girlfriend.

Then she’ll bring up  being your girlfriend and want to get you to commit.  At that point you can accept her as your girlfriend, given she’s understanding of your time and terms for the relationship.

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Hey J! Thanks for your articles as they are really informative. I have a question I am hoping you could assist me with. I’ve been dating this girl for about two months now and everything is going great. She gives me head pretty much whenever I ask and is completely in her feminine. She also reaches out to me first, in which I respond enthusiastically and immediately make a date for us to hookup. I am sensing that she is about to ask me to be her GF, which is where my dilemma comes in. I really like this girl… Read more »