Best age to have kids: What age should you start your family?

Best age to have kids

best age to have kids

The best age to have kids is something that most younger people want to figure out.

Sure, some of us won’t have kids.  But the majority of us will.  And while you can make it work at many different stages in your life, it’s optimal to have it at certain ages.

My content is aimed at men, since after all, Rebellious Development is self development for men.  But, I’m also going to cover what’s the best age to have kids for women.  This will help the men to find the right mate and will help any women who stumble upon this too.

The best age to have kids for men

don draper - beard

For all the men out there, what’s the best age to have kids?

35

Age 35, give or take a few years, is the best age to have kids for most men.  At least 30, but ideally 35, or even 35-40.

For most men, it’s going to be at least until age 30.

Having kids takes a lot of time, energy, and money.  In fact, the average kid in the United States costs $233,000 to raise to age 17.  That’s a lot of money.  And that doesn’t account for additional things like if you want to send your kid to private school and go on vacation with them.  I’m not saying it’s not worth the cost.  But the cost is heavy, and you want to be able to provide for your kids.

Plus, it takes a lot of time and energy.  You’re probably going to have to sacrifice some work success to spend weekends with your kids.  This will be much easier to do if you’ve already built up money and have a business.

Having kids in your 20’s

Having kids in your 20’s makes everything harder.  You most likely don’t have your life figured out.  But you’ll have to get on your shit real quick.

Because you’ll be a young dad.  Your kids will benefit from having a young, youthful dad.  However, you’ll also still have to spend a lot of time working so you can provide for them.  In fact, you’re going to have to work a lot more hours than your older dad counter-parts.

And if you don’t own your own business, then you’ll really be trapped at a wage slave job.  You won’t be able to quit because you need every paycheck to support the kids.

Especially if you have your kids in your early 20’s.  This is the worst age to have kids, other than being a teenager.  You’re more likely going to have to struggle and work multiple jobs to take care of your family.

I’m not saying this to hate on young fathers.  If you had kids early, I wish you the best and maybe it can work out for you.  But for your overall lifestyle and situation, it’s not the ideal age for most men.

Waiting until you’re older

don draper - waiting until you're older to have kids

When you wait until you’re 35, or at least 30/32, then you have a big advantage.  Especially if you’ve built up your income and net worth.  35, give or take a few years, is the best age to have kids for most men.

You have money in the bank, hopefully your own business or a solid career.  And you also know what you want with women.  You’re at an age where you’ve been a player or playboy for sometime, and likely a few girlfriends in the mix.  Which means more experience with women.

Finding the right mother for your kids

And more experience will give you a better shot at screening for the right one.  Finding as close to the perfect girlfriend, with qualities you’d want in a mother, is what you want to consider when looking to have kids with a woman.

I’m in no way saying to get legally married.  I’m against that, as you could end up getting divorced raped 5, 7, or 10 years down the road.  But, the ideal scenario is to have kids with a woman you’re in a committed relationship in.  By waiting to at least your 30’s, you know what kind of women you like and which kinds you can have the best relationships with.

This will make having and raising your kids easier.  There’s still no guarantee you’ll be together forever.  But having a responsible, non-toxic mother to your children will make your life a lot easier than if you just have kids with the hottest woman you can impregnate.

The exception

The exception is if you’ve already built a solid amount of wealth.  If you have a million in the bank and own your own business, then it’s fine to have kids in your late 20’s.  There are some exceptional guys that can do this.

And if that’s you, then go for it.  There’s nothing wrong with having kids young.  It’s more natural, and it’s why we have such a high sex drive, especially when we’re young.

However, men can still have kids later, and we can do this with less complications than women.

Times have changed

In the 40’s, 50’s, and throughout most of history, having kids in your 20’s was normal.  You could support a family on a man’s income alone in most cases.

And for the vast majority of human history, living to age 40 was concerned a feat.  So by age 25 you’ve already been considered a man for almost a decade.  For better or worse, times have definitely changed.  A 22 or 25 year old man is going to have a very difficult time raising 2-3 kids and supporting his wife on his salary alone.  And if she also has to work, you better have grandparents (your parents or hers) that can help out or be able to afford daycare.

So ideally, the only way to have kids but still have a lifestyle you can enjoy is to have them later.  Or have a lot of money and success at a young age.

But for the vast majority of men, having this kind of success young isn’t likely.

The best age to have kids for women

best age for women to have kids - Zuleyka Silver

What’s the best age to have kids for women?

25

Having kids at age 25, give or take a few years as well, is the best time for women to have kids.  You can also wait until 27 or 28.  But time is not on your side.

Well, while women can have kids into their late 30’s, and even early 40’s, this isn’t ideal.  Not to say it can’t be done.  But the later women wait to have kids, the more likely health problems are to occur.

And a woman’s fertility starts to decrease more rapidly than a man’s fertility.

Fertilely and health problems 

In fact, it starts to decline more noticeably at age 32, and then even more at age 37.  Another stat from the same article I just linked to around health for women:

  • “The risk of having a child with Down syndrome at 20 is one in 525; at 40, it’s one in 65.”

That’s means a woman who’s 40 is 8x more likely to have a kid with down syndrome than a woman who has a kid at 20.

Biologically speaking, it’s best for women to have kids young.  Although age 15 or 16 would be ideal 100 or 200 years ago, and that still happens today, that’s not ideal.

The best age to have kids for a woman in today’s era is 25 or so.  This gives her some time to emotionally mature yet still be in good fertilely and have a high chance of having a healthy baby.

Career

Another thing a woman has to consider is having a career.  This is important for the woman herself, and also for a man who’s looking for the right woman for his lifestyle.

If a woman doesn’t want to have a career or make it a focus, then this makes having kids at or around age 25 doable.  Granted she finds a man that can be the breadwinner.

However, in this day and age, many women want to have careers and have their own income.  Not saying this is good or bad, it just comes down to personal preference.  I like dating women who have their own money.  But if it came down to having kids, I’d prefer someone who prefers not to be the breadwinner.

But if you’re a woman reading this, or a man whose dating a woman, then this needs to be a big factor to consider.

Because a woman who wants a successful career isn’t likely to have kids at age 25.  For her, the best age to have kids might be 35-40.  From a professional standpoint, since she can then have some time to take off and still get back in the game in her 40’s.

Finding the right father

don draper - wife

Another factor is finding the right father.  Not saying that’s don draper.  He’s a good example of how to flirt with women though.

If a woman wants to have kids at the ideal age, around 25, then she’ll need to find the right father.  Which is an alpha male, who has his own business or a solid career.  He can be 5-10 years older, or the same age if he’s about his purpose.

If a woman thinks the best age to have kids for her is around age 35-40, then she’s going to need to find a man who can sacrifice his career to take care of kids.  Because after she has a kid or two, she’ll likely want to join the workforce again.  She’ll want to find a guy who’s alpha in the bedroom and good at sex, but not alpha in the professional world.

Kind of like a switch from how most beta males are.  The majority of well off or rich betas make good money, and some are alphas at work.  But they’re betas in the bedroom.

Alpha at work vs sexually

But there are some career women who want a man for his looks / use as a sex toy.  In this case, he’ll be alpha in the bedroom / sexually, but beta career wise.

I recommend that men become alpha in both areas.

But for the women reading this, it’s going to be hard to come by an all around alpha.  You’re likely going to have to pick one or the other.  The difference between alpha and beta males can be seen in different areas of ones life.

The best age to have kids is as much of an individual question as it is a relationship question.  The kind of relationship dynamic you have will be a big factor in when the ideal age for you to have kids is.  However, I’d recommend most women to have them earlier than later.

Should you even have kids?

I’m assuming most of you are men reading this.  And whether or not you want to have kids is up to you.  Nobody can make that decision but you and yourself.

However, if you want to, then it’s best to come up with a game plan.  Don’t try and knock up any woman, especially when you’re young.

Purpose and net worth

michael b jordan

Work on your purpose first.  This will ensure you never have to be a wage slave if you ever do have kids.  And it will give you a meaning in this world.

Turn that purpose into something that can generate money for you.  Build a business, and ideally a nice chunk of wealth.  Even get rich if you can.  When you’ve achieved financial independence you’ll be in a position to attract a high quality woman and provide for a family.

I know I talk a lot about being a player, and not being a provider.  But it’s totally different if you’re trying to have a family.  If you’re going to have kids, you should be able to provide them with a good life.  This doesn’t mean you let your wife turn into your “best friend” and become a needy provider.  Even if you’re the breadwinner financially, you still need to maintain leadership in the relationship.

Be a role model for your kids

At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what’s the best age to have kids at, and if you’ll even have them.  But if you do, think things through.  Waiting until you’re at least 35, finding a quality woman in her 20’s, and having a few kids that you can afford is a worthy pursuit.

Just make sure you set things up so you’re happy.  Your kids will benefit from a well-off father who can provide for them.  As well as having a father who’s happy and who can afford to spend quality time with them.

Many problems in today’s world come from lack of a father or masculine role model.  If you can be that for your kids, then you’re doing the world a great service.

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