Cold Approach or High Value Game? Pick up artist vs the Player

Cold Approach or High Value Game?  Pick up artist vs the Player

cold approach vs high value game

Cold approach or high value game?  Which one should you choose?  I had a reader ask me about cold approaching.  He was confused because I approach women, but I generally don’t do cold approach.  That’s because I do high value game.  Essentially it’s the difference between being a pick up artist with cold approach vs being a player with high value.

Nothing is wrong with either.  It’s just that I’m a player, and since I hold myself to be extremely valuable, that’s what I prefer.  But let’s dive into the differences and then discuss who should do each.  Because while it might seem like I bash pick up artists, being a player isn’t for everyone.

Cold Approach

Cold approach is when you just approach a random girl you like the looks of.  Whether it’s on the streets or at a nightclub.  Cold approach is essentially just approaching any girl you want.  It’s called a cold approach because she hasn’t give you any signs that she likes you.

Just like in business you can cold call or cold email someone.  Or you can get a lead from marketing, someone who interacted with your content and showed interest.

Cold approach is just like a cold call or cold email.  The chance of success is small because she didn’t show any interest.  However, due to volume, you’re bound to get some girl who’s interested in you at some point.

High Value Game

player with women, confident

High value game is when you approach girls that show interest in you.  Or on the extreme end, when girls approach you, in which case you don’t really need to do much.

But in general, most girls who like you won’t approach you directly.  Once in a while they might come up and talk to you, or message you if you two match online.  Nevertheless, girls will usually wait for you top approach.

The difference is that she’ll give you a choosing signal that she likes you.  Eye contact is the most obvious of all the signs.  She’ll lock eyes with you.  Most women will look down or to the side, look back at you for a second, then look away again.  Some women will hold eye contact with you.

Either way, this is a sign she likes you and is inviting you to approach her.

High value game essentially means that you’re either naturally valuable, or you raise your value, to the point where girls will choose you consistently.  From there you still will generally approach them.  But you can just go up and say what’s up to them.  They’ve already invited you over.

Although you’ll have less girls choose you then amount of girls you can cold approach, then girls you get from high value game will be much easier to talk to, get dates with, and sleep with.  This is because they’re already interested in you.  Just like a lead you get from marketing in a business is already interested in buying from you.

This doesn’t mean the girl will roll over and let you fuck her right there in public.  But it does mean you’ll have a dramatically higher chance of making things happen with her.

How to do cold approach

smp, crowded nightclub

The basics of cold approach are simple.  You just go up to girls you like and talk to them.  Pick up artists have tons of different theories on the best way to do this.  There’s tons of youtube videos you can find of pick up artists trying to talk to girls will cold approach.  The vast majority will probably just show you the successes and cut out the failures.

You can go up to the girl and ask her a dumb question (Who lies more, Kylie Jenner or Black China?), ask her the weather, have a joke ready to go, or just go up introduce yourself and ask if she wants to get a drink.

If I was doing cold approaches, I would just go up and talk to girls and ask them their name, if they’re from around here, and if they’d like to get a drink sometime.  The girls who are into you will say yes, the girls who aren’t will say no, and the in-between girls will need some more convincing.  It’s up to you if you want to play it cool and still go for it or decide to not pursue it.  But I’d make it short, sweet, direct, and easy.  This will make things easiest on myself and her.

Now, if you’re in a club or bar, then you can also cold approach.  In fact, it’ll be easier to do so because it’s more socially acceptable to approach women at these night venues.  Many women will be open to being approached.  You also might have a drink or two in your system and will be feeling the liquid confidence.

Lowering at value at a specific venue

The bad side to cold approaching in a nightclub or bar is that it can mess you up for that venue.  If the cold approach goes well, then you’re all good.  But most cold approaches will end with rejections.  Even if you don’t care, other girls at the venue will.  Any girl who sees you get rejected will also reject you if you cold approach her.  It’s the name of the game.  Women are social creatures and status matters a lot to them.  Even if a girl thought you were cute, her seeing you get rejected by another girl will make you less attractive to her.

But either way, cold approaching can be done pretty much anywhere you see a girl you want to talk to.

Cold approaching is a waste of time if you’re going to be hitting a spot regularly.  Don’t shit where you sleep.

How to do high value game

woman choosing

With high value game, the women are already showing some interest.  Alls you need to do is go up and talk to them.  I do this often, when I go up to a girl who was checking me out.  I go up, and say “I’m Jay, nice to meet you, what’s your name?”  Pretty basic stuff a kindergartner could do.  Except I’m saying it with a slight smirk on my face, in a cool confident way.  Like a player should do.  Part of the reason I’m already confident and feeling good is because I know the girl is already interested.

From there she’ll respond, and then we’ll start talking.  If it’s a club I might dance with her, or go with the vibes of the venue we’re at.

I don’t have scripts memorized or nothing lame like that.  I have an abundance mindset.  I’m not worried about what exactly should I say to a woman.  Instead, I’m there to have a good time, and see if the girl is ready for me.

I generally do high value game at a nightclub or bar.  Women generally feel more comfortable giving choosing signals out at these types of places again because of social standards.  But women will still shows signs of interest out in public at the library, grocery store, or wherever.

My high value game is always on, because I’m always a man of high value.

What’s the best path for you?

Everyone is different.  Even though I’m a player, and I imagine many of you are, some of you may prefer to do the pick up artist thing and do cold approach.  Whatever your style is up to you.  I’m a player and run high value game in most situations, however that have been times when I did cold approach, or something similar to it.

When you should do cold approach

If you just want to be a pick up artist, then you should do cold approach.

And if you’re a guy who can’t get to at least a 7.5 in the sexual market place, then you should probably do cold approach.  Because a man who doesn’t have the sexual market value of at least a 7.5 isn’t going to get that many choosing signals from women.  There’s no exact scale.  Some women think I’m a 9 and some think I’m a 7.  But enough label me as an 8, 9, or 10, so I’m able to be a player.  If enough women label you as that, then you can also do high value game.

If not enough women give you eye contact, you can either work to raise your value to at least a 7.5 or 8, or just do cold approach.

But I recommend to not do cold approach at venues you’ll be going to most often.  How many guys cold approach and lower their value at their hometown bars / clubs is beyond me.

Now, if there’s some mega club in your city and there’s never regulars then I can make an exception.  But in general, you want to avoid doing it as the places you’re going to the most.  You can get lays or get a girlfriend from cold approach, but it’s much better to use it at places where you simply aren’t going to be making a name for yourself.  Because it’s a numbers game, and the more you get rejected, the more your value lowers at that particular venue.

When you should do high value game

If you want to be a player, then you should do high value game.  Being a player doesn’t just apply to the dating game, but to life.  You should strive to be a player and think like a pimp.  This means that you own your business and control your income.  It means you learn how to be the alpha in relationships with women.  A player also knows how to fuck a woman so well to get her addicted.

High value game is a lifestyle.

If you’re a man whose at least a 7.5, or who will do the work to get there, then high value game is for you.  It’s for men who value not just getting laid, but also being masculine men who are the bosses in their own lives.  Because while high value men still sleep with a lot of women, they also focus on other things in their lives.  It’s about having a balance and being a man.

In between situations

salsa dancing - best places to meet women

There’s also situations like salsa dancing and tinder.  With dancing at salsa clubs, it’s normal for men to go up and ask girls to dance.  This is done regardless of if a girl is directly checking you out.  Because of the social norms of these clubs, it’s expected for men to go up and ask any available girl to dance.  The vast majority of girls say yes, and when a girl says no, it’s not usually seen as a harsh rejection.  Other girls will still say yes to you.  So in a way, you can say that even I cold approach women at a salsa club.  Although after dancing with her you can tell if she digs you or not based on eye contact she gives you, along with her body movement, and can proceed accordingly.

Tinder is also an in-between situation.  I say that because when a girl matches with you, she’s giving you some light choosing.  But it’s not the same as real life when a girl gives you eye contact.  A girl who matches with you on tinder could’ve thought you were really hot, or just liked you enough to give you a swipe, but has no real interest in talking to you.

So even though I message girls on online dating, it’s not the same as in real life.  That being said, you can still run high value game when you use really high quality photos and don’t respond right away.

Pick up artist vs the Player

Most pick up artists don’t really stick to the game or lie about their numbers.  The legit pick up artists will rack up large numbers, and even sleep with more women than a player like myself.  They hit and quit girls, but also go through massive rejection.  It’s unfortunate that most pick up artists who do cold approach never really learn to value themselves.  Many of these guys, despite getting notch counts of 200 or 300+ don’t learn how to manage relationships.  Then they’ll get married, put the pussy on a pedestal, and divorced raped.

I don’t want that for you guys.  I’d rather you run high value game, get a notch count of 30, 40, or 50, and still be able to be a leader with women.  What I want to see if you be able to get laid on the first date, but also not get oneitis over a girl.  I want to see you guys build real value in yourselves, and see that you’re the prize.  Build your wealth, escape wage slavery, and live life on your own terms.

You can choose your own path.  From my experience, I choose high value game over cold approach.

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