Ex Girlfriend Contacts me… What Should I do?

Ex Girlfriend Contacts me… What Should I do?

I got a question from a man recently asking saying that “an ex girlfriend contacts me” and gave me some background.  I read his email in the podcast linked above.  But in short, he had a girlfriend, she left him, and so he did the most masculine thing he could do and just never hit her up.

Which was the right decision and I commend him for that.  You can’t control what women do, or other people in general, but you can control how you react.  He defended his manhood.  Guarding your manhood and dignity is critical as a man whose trying to become an alpha male.  If you’re a true alpha, then you never put your manhood on the line just to get some ass.  In return, women will come around and want to be with you.  When you don’t need them, they want you.

Back to our man here.  As he went on to date other women,  live life, and move on, his ex contacted him months later.

He admitted that she was hotter than other girls he was currently fucking.  He probably wants to fuck her or maybe date her again.  But he doesn’t want to throw his balls down the drain.  he asks why she’s contacting him, and what he should do in return.

Why she’s contacting you

I get emails like this often.  Guys always want to know why a an ex girlfriend contacts me.  Some say it’s because she wants to get back.  Others say ex girlfriends contact you just to get attention and won’t meet up.  Here’s the thing.  Women aren’t that scheming when they hit you up.  Even if they tell their friends they have a plan to fuck with you or talk to you again, they really aren’t sure.

She’s testing the waters

Women like to Fuck too - girl biting lips

And ex girlfriend contacts me, is it just to fuck with me?  Does she want to fuck or just attention.  Both.  Or none.

It’s not to fuck you necessarily, or not to use you for attention and then not fuck you.

It’s for whatever you act like.  Let me say that again.  She hits you up to see how you respond.

That’s why there are guys who talk about their ex girlfriends contacting them, then they end up fucking, and the girls want the guy back, and the guy is unsure if he’s going to take her seriously.  Then there are guys who are so happy their ex girlfriend texts them, then the ex stops texting them and ghost them.

Was one girl looking to fuck / date and the other is an attention whore?  No.  All women like attention.  Neither of them hit up their ex boyfriends to get him back or to ghost him.

Ex girlfriends contact you to test the waters.  You showed enough strength to leave her alone.  She reached out to you because she thinks she might have missed out.  How you respond determines if she realizes she missed out on you and therefore will want you more, or if she made the right decision by leaving you.

Ex girlfriends reach out because they have enough interest in you to do so.  But what they really want, like all other girls, is the best man.

If you act alpha, then she’ll see that and want to fuck you / get back with you.  Which doesn’t mean you should get her back just because you can.

If you act beta, then she’ll use you for your attention and then go away.

Women don’t have a master plan

She’s hypergamous.  You  showed enough strength by not talking to her.  Now she wants to see if you’re really that man.

That’s why this guy and many of you go through this.

What does my ex girlfriend want?

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She wants a real man.  Whether she’s a high quality woman or a low quality woman, she wants an alpha.  She didn’t get out there in the sexual market place, or at least couldn’t keep one.  You showed that you were a man by not hitting her up.  So now she’s regretting leaving you.  That’s why she hits you up.  However, if you act like a bitch, then this feeling in her will disappear.

Women like to poke and open themselves up to options.  She views you as an option, or a potential option.  Don’t be mad about it. That’s the game.  You’re always an option to women, which is why it’s best to make yourself the best option as possible.  In turn you’ll have an abundance of women in your own life.

When your ex girlfriend contacts you, she’s trying to see if you’re a viable option or not.  That could be for a fuck, to date again, to get money from, etc.   But what she really wants is to see that she missed out on a strong man.   She’s trying to see if you became a real man that she wants to submit herself to or if you’re a pussy bitch whose going to put her on a pedestal.

Your two Options

As a man, you only have two options. A beta cuck could talk with her for hours or meet up for a friendly coffee.  But not you.  Not when this girl chose to walk away from you.  The only two things you can do that will maintain your own self respect, as well as keep her from friendzoning you is for you to either:

  1. Don’t respond ever
  2. Keep it short and invite her over

1. Don’t respond

biggest mistake is texting too much

If you don’t respond when an ex girlfriend contacts you, you’ll always be the one that got away.  She’ll move on and fuck and date other guys.  But she’ll always regret leaving you because she wasn’t  able to get you back.   This is the most alpha thing to do with ex girlfriends.  Let them go forever and never let them back in.  And it’s not even just to make her regret leaving you.  But it’s for yourself.  You don’t need a woman who didn’t see your value and was willing to dump you and then wait months to come back.  Let her always miss and desire you.

If you’re not over an ex girlfriend, this is the best option.  Because you’ll fuck things up if you still want her back already and if you get emotional.

Of course, if an ex girlfriend contacts you and you’re the one who dumped her, and she was a good girlfriend, then this is a different situation.  I’m talking about guys who got dumped like the guy who wrote me this email.  When an ex girlfriend contacts you after she dumped you, the best thing to do is going to be to move on and not ever respond.   She already showed she’s willing to leave you, which can translate into more problems in the relationship.

Keep it short

how to text a girl, man texting

Alright, so let’s say you’re over her, but she’s hot and you’d still like to fuck her.  Well even then, I’d say to get women just as hot as her on your rotation or as a new girlfriend.

Whether you need to raise your smv, move somewhere else, or just put more time in the game, that’s up to you.  But I know many of you are going to talk to ex girlfriends when they contact you.

In that case, the best thing to do is keep things short as fuck.  What she’ll want to do is talk back and forth and then stop responding.  Or she’ll meet up and try to keep things platonic.  But those two things only happen if you let them.  And by letting them happen, you show her that you’re not the strong alpha she wants, but that you’re weak.

Value yourself

Instead, value your time.  You can respond, but keep things short and invite her over.  Don’t spend non-sexual attention on her.

Let’s say she hits you up over text asking how you’ve been or if you  can talk.  You can say something like “You in town?”  If she says yes, you can follow up with “Come over and we can vibe with some wine”.  If she really wants you back then she’ll agree and come over and you can have fun.  Sometimes it will be that easy.  Especially if you were generally alpha in the relationship, fucked her like a pro, and kept your manhood.

However, don’t expect it to go like that necessarily.  Many ex girlfriends will say something like “I’m not coming over, I just want  to talk” or “Wow you really think I’m just gonna do that?”  or something else.

She’ll either agree or she’ll act offended like she’s not just your fucktoy.  If she acts offended or says she’s not interested, don’t respond.  At all.  Leave her on read.  If there was ever enough interest for her to come over and actually sleep with you or even date you again, she’ll hit you up later and be down.

She doesn’t deserve a date with you, just invite her over 

player smile

Do NOT  take your ex girlfriend out on a date.  The most you could do is meet at a bar near your place and then go back and fuck.  Like a first date with a girl you just met.

But this is your ex.  You were with her before.  She doesn’t need to meet you in public or any bullshit like that.  She can come over and have fun with you or she can fuck off.  This seems brutal.  But she’ll discard you if you act like a beta bitch.  Alpha or beta with women, you choose.  If you let her use you for your non sexual attention, she’ll go from hitting you up and acting interested to ghosting you and hopping on new dick.

Show strength by keeping things short and making her work for your attention.  An ex girlfriend contacts you after dumping you  and she wants to talk or meet in public?  Fuck that.  She can come over and fuck, nap, fuck again, and then maybe she can buy you a drink.

What you can’t do

What you can’t do is give up your masculinity and act like a bitch.  Don’t spend hours talking to her.  Don’t text back and forth or engage with long text messages.   Leave that shit for the beta males.  If you give up your masculinity, not only will you not get sex or a relationship, but she’ll hop onto another dick like before.  This time she’ll ghost you or keep you around as a beta male friend.

But that’s not going to be your destiny.  Not if you read this article and you apply it.  I know it can be tough when an ex girlfriend contacts you after months.  Even if you felt like you had moved on, it can all of sudden give you a false sense of hope or wonder.  Don’t engage with that.   If your ex girlfriend was that great, she wouldn’t have dumped you.

Don’t put her on a pedestal.  Ignore her completely or invite her over, but don’t  give up your masculinity.  You’ll never regret maintaining respect for yourself.

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