How to be an Alpha Male in a relationship (and avoid betaization)

How to be an Alpha Male in a relationship

how to be an alpha male in a relationship

I write a lot of my content for players, but if you have a girlfriend then you absolutely need to know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Because if you actually learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship then you have the best chance at having a great experience.

Benefits of learning how to be an alpha male in a relationship

If you learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you’ll get the benefits of

  • a loyal girlfriend
  • a girl who will cook, clean, and do things for you
  • a girlfriend who will want to have sex with you
  • having a girl who will back you up when times get tough

There are very few real men out there.  If you learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then your girlfriend will be a do or die chick.  Believe it or not, super loyal submissive chicks are made and molded by alpha males.

Sure, there are the mega sluts or become pornstars, prostitutes, or the neighborhood hoe.  But the majority of women, even promiscuous ones, will hold it down for a real man.  A man who can lead her and make her feel things no other man can.

If you know how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you have a much better chance at having a relaitonship that will last.  When it does end, it will be on your terms.  Given you’re not in jail or long distance, your women will be like puddy in your hands.

Don’t be a beta or a cuckhold

nice guy

If you fail to figure out how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you’re headed for the beta cuck route.  Betas have to worry about things like

  • getting dumped at any random point by their girlfriend
  • having kids that aren’t theres because their girl cheated with Chad
  • getting controlled by a woman and having her run your life
  • becoming pussy whipped, and ironically getting less sex then a virgin stuck on an island

Hopefully by now you’re convinced you should know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  Assuming you’re in a relationship or looking to get into one.  If you want to be a beta, then have fun raising someone else kids and then paying for the house that your ex wife will be fucking alphas in.

Your Purpose / Business comes first

start a business instead

The first step toward being the alpha male is to always put your purpose first.  Your purpose is a business, that combines something you

  • love to do
  • are highly skilled at
  • can make money with

Your purpose NEEDS to be the #1 thing in your life.  That with financial independence of course, which are not mutually exclusive.  With your purpose as your #1, you can escape from wage slavery and live life on your own terms.

This will also keep you away from your woman enough.  Not too much, as you don’t want to be long distance and have her cheat on you.  But enough to the point you come home late some nights or don’t see her sometimes.

Women always have more options

Women will always have more options than you.  Even if your notch count is 100 and your girlfriends is just 4, she can always go out and get laid easier than you.  She can always find new cock whenever she wants, especially if she’s a 7, 8, 9, or 10.  But what she can’t do (if she’s a submissive, type B woman, not all women are but most are), is go out there and achieve like you.

  • Not to hate on women.  There are some type A women who make millions and work hard.  But most women, specially the ones we alpha males date, prefer to have the man as the breadwinner.

Therefore, she likely can’t go out there and grind like you to make that money.

She can get the dick but you can get the money.  And most women value money and success over dick, because they can get dick anywhere.  Most men value pussy over money.  But if you can change your values and hold money over pussy, then you are in a very, very, very powerful position.  When you control what you value then you can alter the experience of your life for the better.

Ironically, you’ll have more pussy, and higher quality at that, thrown at you.

If you’re young and building wealth then you’re already ahead of the game.  Ideally, you want to take it a step further and try to get rich.  A rich man with decent game will always have the advantage in any relationship as he’ll know his true value.

Your value is in your potential 

buy a sports car when you're rich

Don’t worry about competing with your girlfriend for attention from the opposite sex.  If she’s attractive, she’ll always have guys hit on her.  She’ll always have options.  But you keep your value higher than hers not by cheating on her or being better looking than her.

But you do this by focusing on your purpose and your money.  If you do this, then you’ll know how to be an alpha make in a relationship.  Because you’ll have the confidence and aura that comes with a man on his purpose.  Which is a man who’s fulfilled and a man who’s making money.

This is not the only step, but it is the most important when learning how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Have past experience with women

This isn’t a pre-requisite in veery situation.  Elliot Hulse is a guy whose been with the same woman since he was a teenager.  And he definitely knows how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  But he’s massively focused on his purpose and has extremely high intuition with his relationships in general.

That being said, having experience women will help you to be the alpha in your relationship.

When you’ve been with 20 or 30 women, you know you can go out and get another girl if this relationship doesn’t work out.  You know you can get laid on the first date and be a player again.  Or that you can go after whatever you want in the dating game.

This experience gives you the ability to walk away easier than most men.  Most men have only been with a few women, and they’re not sure if they can replace their current girlfriend.  Which makes it impossible for them to run dread game properly.

And since they’re in a desperate mindset, it’ll be impossible for them to know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  Ironically, they’ll have a higher chance of losing their relationship because they care about it more.  And they’ll end up with a bad case of oneitis.

Lift like your life depends on it

Another way to be the leader in your relationship is to lift like your life depends on it.

This means stay in shape, stay looking good, and keep those muscles strong.  Women are still very physical creatures.  And they like a man with some muscle.  At the very least be a guy whose in shape and not packing on the fat.

Lifting weights will take you away from your girl for a while, be it only an hour or so.  But it still shows that you have the priorities.  It also helps to keep your sexual market value high.  It’s a lot easier to be seen as the alpha if your girlfriend constantly mentions that her friends think you’re hot.

Amazing sex

good sex

You need to be giving your girlfriend / wife the best sex she’s ever had, all the time.  Doesn’t mean you need to have sex everyday.

But when you do have sex, be it a few times a few week, once a day, whatever, you need to have mastered your bedroom skills.

It’s impossible to know how to be an alpha male in a relationship if you can’t give your girl amazing sex.

The sex will get her addicted to you and will help to keep her win love with you.  And in turn, this addiction to you will keep her more submissive and willing to follow you.  Even if you make some small mistakes, like being indecisive from time to time or just acting like a little bit of a beta, these can be overlooked by a girl who’s head over heels for you.

Basically, you can still be seen as the alpha even if you still have a few beta tendencies by giving her mind blowing sex consistently.

Which means you need to know how to make her cum over and over again.

Be the leader and make decisions

man leading relationship

At the core, knowing how to be an alpha male in a relationship is about leading.  In any group, the leader is the alpha.  That’s essentially the definition.  Whether it’s with wolves, with gorillas, with humans.  Sure, with a pack of wolves, it’s really just the father and mother who are the alphas – and packs are usually just families.

But the principle still applies.  If you had a father growing up, he was the alpha – or he should’ve been.  If your mom was the alpha then your parents probably had a lot of problems.

Because women will always try to take the position of alpha from you.  They do this slowly over time.  It’s a survival mechanism.  If you’re not strong enough to keep the position as a leader then she’ll take over, then eventually leave you for letting her take over.

That’s why it’s crucial that you know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  And the best way to know how to do this, along with the above advice, is to be the leader.

Make the decisions.  Decide on where you’re going to go eat, what your plan is for the day, and how you two are going to operate.

Lead at least 60% of the time 

You don’t have to lead 100% of the time.  No relationship is fully 100% to 0%.  But it must be at least 60% you, 40% her.  Ideally it’s even 70 or 80% you leading with 20 or 30% her.  The difference will depend on how masculine you are and how feminine she is.  But there has to be separation in roles.

Ying and Yang become one unit.  But they’re still opposites, and you can see that as they come together.  Yet they still fit.

You need to to be powerful yang, which is the masculine energy.  If you do this, then you’ll be able to lead her.  And if you’re the leader, then you’ll already have figured out how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  Because by definition you’ll be leading.  And she’ll be happy that you’re taking charge.

Avoid betaization

curing oneitis

You now know what you need to do to be the alpha in your relationship.  But while all this makes sense, or can easy to do that the beginning, it’s more difficult to maintain throughout a relationship.

Most men become a beta in their relationships over time.  Or in other words, betaization happens to them.  Their woman tests them over time, and they start to fail tests more and more.  Which leads to her gaining more power in the relationship.  And eventually, she’s leading the relationship more than 50% of the time.

Betaization is terrible for you as a man and it will kill your relationship.

Don’t be mad at the woman for trying to beta-ize you

It’s your girlfriend’s / wive’s fault that she’s beta-izing you.  Pointing it out to her or getting mad about it won’t do anything.  It’s a survival instinct all women have and the majority of women will try to beta-ize you.

She’s testing you, without even knowing it, to try and become the alpha herself.  And once she does become the alpha, she loses respect and the relationship is over.

Instead of getting mad at her for it, just realize it’s natural.  And the only reason she’s continuing to test you is because you’re failing.  You’re failing to maintain your masculinity and check her.  This triggers her instincts to test you further and see what you’re made of.

You’ve forgotten how to be an alpha male in a relationship but she views it as you’ve forgotten how to be a man.

Giving you less sex, demanding you stop working as much, nagging you and having a worse mood then before.  These are all ways she tries to break you down over time to beta-ize you.

Again, don’t get mad.  Instead, you need to realize that she’s doing this because you’re forgetting how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Reclaim your spot as the alpha

how to be an alpha male - don draper

If this has already happened to you, then you need to do everything you can to be the alpha in the relationship.

  • Grind harder on your business
  • Make more money
  • Get in killer shape

And don’t be afraid to piss her off.  The biggest way men become betas in their relationships over time is that they give in to the demands of their girlfriend / wife.

You need to stick to your guns.  And you need to check her when she disrespects you.  Don’t tolerate her behavior when it starts to get bad.  Keep her on her toes with your increased sexual market value.  Don’t ever beg her for sex.  And make it known when you’re unhappy with shit she does.  If she does stuff you don’t like or makes you look bad, then you need to tell her you’re not going to tolerate that.

Never, ever lay your hands on a woman.  That’s not what I’m saying.

Make it known you’re the boss

But you need to start arguments sometimes.  You need to take her off the pedestal you’ve put her on and give her a dose of reality.  I usually say not to yell, but talk with a powerful masculine voice and let your presence be known.  Raise your voice when she’s messed up.

You’re the boss and she’s your employee.  She’s your best employee, so you need to make sure she’s on point.  When she starts to test for her power, you need to make it clear you’re the CEO, and she’s the assistant.  Her role is important, but you’re in charge.

If you do this, then you can avoid betaization and stay the alpha male in your relationship.  Your woman will love you more for it.  As she wants a man who will take care of her, yet at the same time stand up for himself.  Because if a man can’t stand up against his woman, then she’ll think you can’t stand up to other people.  Even if that’s not true, that’s what her subconscious will think.

Follow the steps above to learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  And know that maintaining your alpha status over time is crucial if you want to live life on your own terms.

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