How to be Confident: Simple 6-Step Process

How to be Confident

how to be confident - james bond

It’s not that hard to learn how to be confident.  Yet so many men wish they could just be more confident men.

But the thing is, no man is just born confident.  You become confident when you achieve success or the desired outcome in a situation.

Confidence is situational.

What confidence is 

Confidence is your belief in your ability to do something.

You can’t be confident at everything.  However, you can have high self esteem if you’re able to do many things well.  Or a few key things very well.

For example, I’m not confident I can fly a plane.

That’s because I’ve never flown one and probably never will.

But I’m still confident overall because I’m never in a situation where I have ti fly a plane.

The point is you can learn how to be confident for every situation you’ll face in life.  But to be and appear confident, you don’t have to be ready for every little situation.

To learn how to be confident overall as a man, you just need to be strong in a few core areas.

Core Areas

core areas of confidence - money, women, body

The core areas of confidence for a man are:

  • purpose / money
  • women
  • body and health

And then there are some supplemental areas, like:

  • style
  • ability to fight
  • dance
  • navigating a certain city / venues

If you can determine how to be confident in your core areas then you’ll be a high energy, powerful man.

Adding in the supplemental areas will be icing on the cake to your already high confidence.

How to be confident: building confidence 

  1. Positive affirmations and effort
  2. Make Goals and get Small wins
  3. Celebrating your small wins
  4. Continuing to get slightly bigger wins
  5. Again, celebrating your success
  6. Bigger wins, greater confidence, and bragging

Confidence is built through success.  You’re more confident at things you’re naturally good at.

Because you’ve experienced success.  And success breeds success.

It’s not hard to learn how to be confident in a specific area.

1. Positive affirmations and effort

man reading positive affirmations

But the first step is start with positive affirmations.

Write down positive things you are right now or can work towards in each of your core areas.

Purpose / money

“I have the ability to start my own web design company and get 1 client”

“I can add $20,000 to my income this year”

I’m a producer and spend time creating”


“There are plenty of women that would fuck me.”  “Some may be hot, many might just be average, but with enough effort I can pull quality women.”

Body and health

“I have a great body.”

Or if you don’t “I will put the work in to great a great body.”

Affirmations that work

The key is to make positive affirmations that will help you feel good now.  And also push you to do more.

They have to be realistic or somewhat realistic.

You can have stretch goals.  But they have to be believable.

  • For example, if you’re broke, and say ” I am an millionaire” or “I will be a millionaire in two months from now”, you’re not helping anyone.
  • You know you’re bullshitting yourself.
  • You won’t feel any more confident about your financial situation.

Instead, learning how to be confident starts with small things.

If you make $70,000, try to make $90,000 (an extra $20k), by starting a side business.

Having a side business that makes you $1500-$2000 is definitely doable.  You’ll actually believe yourself when you say this.

And then you’ll have a higher chance of putting in the effort to make it happen.

2. Make Goals and get Small wins

how to be confident - man whiteboard goals

The next step in learning how to be confident is to get some small wins.

You do this by creating small, doable goals for each category.  Once you accomplish these goals, you’ll feel what it’s like to win.

Purpose / money

For example, with your money, you can make a goal to get 1 client with your side business.

Your side business can develop into your purpose.

Let’s say this client is paying you $1000 for web design / maintenance services.  Or personally training, whatever your business is.

Once you do this, then you’ll get a win in this category.  You’ll feel that you can make progress in your business and money efforts because you’ve seen some success.


If you’ve never fucked a girl, then make a goal to get a phone number at the club, or a date from tinder.

If you’ve fucked 10-20 girls but have trouble closing on the first date, then try to get a fuck on the first date.

Make a goal that’s just out of reach of what you’ve done but is definitely doable.

Then accomplish that.

Body and health

Body goals can also differ depending on what level you are.  If you’re overweight, make a goal to cut out junk food.  This alone will help you to lose weight.

If you’re already lean, then make a goal to get a slightly bigger pr on bench press or squats.

3. Celebrating your small wins

curry celebrating - pic 1

Now it’s time to celebrate.

No, you’re not going to get lazy and drink for a week straight.

You still have a lot of work to do.

But a big part of learning how to be confident is actually enjoying your wins.

Confidence is your belief in your ability to do something.  However, you need to actually celebrate your wins so that you realize you can do it.

Playboy / player example

A few of my friends were players like myself.

One of them would always celebrate his success, talking about girls he fucked years ago.  It was annoying, but he always reminded himself of his wins.  He kept girls around like a player would.  He had consistent pussy that reminded him of the original conquest.

However, my other friend wasn’t always confident.

He was quick to forget the wins he had with women a month or two ago.  A lot of that had to do with he was more of a playboy vs player, and was always having to find new pussy.

But his lack of abundance caused him to lose a bit of his confidence form time to time.  Many times I had to remind him of the other wins he had with women, when he was tripping over one particular girl.

So it’s important to remind yourself of the small wins you get.  Realize you’ve made some progress.

4. Continuing to get slightly bigger wins

get bigger wins

You’ve made goals, gotten small wins, and have cerated your success.

Now it’s time to use the momentum you’ve begun to create to get bigger wins.

Success breeds success.

And you’re starting to believe your own affirmations.  Say them with more conviction.

You’re seeing the positive self talk start to influence your attitude, work ethic, and success.

So use this energy and get bigger wins.


Let’s say you’ve gotten your first client.  You know that you have what it takes to think like an entrepreneur.

You know that someone is willing to give you business.  You’re selling something of value.

Now use this to get another client.

  • Directly, you can use the case study of how you’re helping your client in marketing campaigns or sales pitches to new prospects.
  • Indirectly, you can feed off of the confidence you got from getting the deal.

You’ll then be on the path to building real wealth and net worth.


Let’s say you’re trying to get a girlfriend.  But for now you’re working on keeping the girls around.

After getting laid on the first date a few times, see if you can keep the girls around.  From there, you can see them on a regular basis.  And then you can see if one of them if a good fit for your relationship criteria.

Or you’re working on getting out of a relationship and curing your oneitis.

Get a few numbers from new girls, and work on setting up dates, then new lays.

Eventually, your small wins will grow into slightly bigger wins.

5. Again, celebrating your success

curry celebrating - pic 2

A big part of learning how to be confident is remembering your success.

The point of celebration isn’t to stop growing.

As man, we’re always striving for better and for more success.

But you still need to celebrate a little bit along the way.  After all, if you gain a lot of success in business, but it means nothing to you, then what’s the point?

Or if you want to fuck a bunch of girls, and you do so, but you never let yourself enjoy it, then what the fuck are you doing?

The whole point in getting success is to learn how to be confident and be happy.

Building confidence will make you happy and more joyful.

So it’s important to consciously celebrate your success.  Allow yourself to feel good over your accomplishments.

6. Bigger wins, greater confidence, and bragging

money over sex

After you celebrate your success again, it’s time to go for bigger wins.

  • Like leaving your job and fully becoming an entrepreneur?
  • Adopting an entrepreneur mindset and scaling your business
  • Or building your business into a six figure money making machine?
  • Want a hot girlfriend, who cooks for you, and is sweet/kind?
  • How about fuck more women on the first date with red pill knowledge?
  • Or maybe you want to fuck 10 or 20 quality women in the next year?
  • Maybe getting a six pack and having lean muscle?

These are the big goals you want to aim for.  And add in your own ones as well.

It’s possible to get here with enough momentum from your smaller wins.

Focus on winning

Figuring out how to be confident is easy if you just focus on winning.

The more you win, the more you’ll believe in yourself.

And the more you realize how much you’ve grown, the better you’ll feel in a specific area.

From there, your confidence will grow.

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses.

There are some things we’re better at from an early age, and therefore become more confident in.

So it’s not that you have no confidence.  You just haven’t developed it in the areas you need it the most.

No excuses

But now that you know there’s not room for excuses.

Become confident with your business/money, women, and body, as well as the other supplemental areas that apply to your life.

It’s tough at the beginning when you suck ass.

But don’t give up.  Learning how to be confident in any of these areas is possible if you put in the work and stay dedicated.

And if you focus on each area and achieve success, then you’ll be an overall confident man.

Once you’re confident, take the next step and become an alpha male.

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