How to get Laid on the First Date: Full Guide to Seal the Deal

How to get laid on the first date

how to get laid on the first date

So you want to learn how to get laid on the first date?

Well, you’re on the right path to becoming a player.  Or maybe you have a hot date coming up.

Either way, it’s normal to want to learn how to sleep with a woman you just met.  Sleeping with someone you just met may be deemed promiscuous.  But as a man with a strong sex drive it’s in your nature.  You can’t force it if it’s not going to happen, but there’s definitely a few things you can do to improve your chances.

Getting laid on the first date – why you should try

james bond trying to get laid

You should always try to figure out how to get in her pants on the first date.  Given that it’s consensual of course.

This isn’t the same as acting desperate for sex.  You’re not bending over backwards to get her to come home with you.  But you’re still going for the close.  It’s what an alpha male does by definition.

It’s like in business.  You want the deal as early as possible.  You don’t want to delay and have the prospect change their mind.  So you’ll ask for the deal.  But you’ll do it with confidence.  If they say no, you don’t lose your composure or freak out.

In fact, you’re prepared for a no and shrug it off or say something clever.  This applies 100% when you’re trying to know how to get laid on the first date.

You should always try to do it.  You want to make your intentions clear with the girls you’re seeing that you’re not a friend or a guy they can use for dates.  Instead, you’re there to fuck.  This way you can pass any shit tests of her trying to put you in a friend category.  She’ll know what you want so neither of you need to waste time.

How to do it 

So this article is going to dive into how to meet women in person or online.  I’m assuming you met her in person before and are just getting together or are just meeting from tinder or an online app.

You’re meeting a girl for the first time on a date or seeing each other in a way that’s planned.


logistics, living downtown

Logistics can make your break your game.

It will be so much easier for you to get laid on the first date if you have killer logistics.

I can’t stress this enough.

What I do is have the girl meet me at a coffee shop or bar/lounge right near my place.  Preferably a 5 minute walk or less, but even 10 minutes is still fine.

The girl will be more likely to meet you if you live in a city, especially near the downtown or trendy spots.  In San Francsico I live close to Polk st and Union square.  Girls love to meet meet Union Square during the day or Polk st at night.

I don’t even tell them I live near there, I just say I live in the city and let’s meet there.  Then on the date later, you can bring them back to your place without logistics from fucking it up later.

The date itself

drinks date

Now to the actual date.  Your main goal here is just get her to talk.  Every single girl loves to talk.  Extroverted, introverted, happy, depressed, you get the point.

In 1 on 1 situations, they’ll talk given the chance.  Don’t worry about “what should I say when we hang out”.

You don’t need to really say a lot.  The only thing you need to do is get her talking with questions, making jokes, and being cool.

Start will small talk.  Ask her where she’s from, where she grew up, and so on.  Eventually you should get her talking about her hobbies, passions, and what her dreams are.  She’ll be more drawn to you if you get her to talk about things that she cares about.  It should be a smooth conversation.

You want to make her feel good.  Women are all about feeling.  People in general are like that, but women are more in touch with their emotions and how they feel.

If they feel good around you, and they’re already on a date with you so they’re attracted, then it’s likely they’ll sleep with you.

How long should the date last?

how long should a date last

When to get her to come back depends on the situation.  I’ve taken girls immediately back to my place after getting a coffee to go, and sometimes talked for 2 hours before going back.

However, usually a half hour to an hour is average for me.

Especially if you’re getting drinks, a lot of it can depend on the bar I chose and just the tone of the conversation.  So there’s no magic answer, but if you’re there for more than 2 hours, it’s probably overkill.  An hour or less should be fine.

Getting her to go home with you

getting laid on first date, coming home

If you want to get laid on the first date, then you need her to actually come home with you.

Just like timing, there’s no magic way to do this, but here’s a few strategies you can implement

  • Being direct
  • Making drinks at your place

Being direct

Being direct means that you’ll just say “Hey, let’s get out of here” or “Let’s go back to my place”.  It pretty much implies that you’re fucking.  If you’re confident that she’s down then go ahead and skip the bullshit.

Some women will give you the vibe that are very down to fuck and just want to get to it.  With these women, just be direct.

Plausible deniability

That being said, many women will be down to fuck and help you get laid on the first date.

But don’t always want to be as overt about it.  Or sometimes they’re unsure if they’re going to fuck on the first meet up.  They’re sure that they want to fuck, but unsure if they want to be slut shamed for fucking you on the first date.

Or at least coming off like they knew it was going to happen.

Women like plausible deniability.  Unlike you, many women don’t want to tell their friends they got laid on the first date.  Instead, they want to say “it just happened”.

But that means you have to make it happen.

Making drinks at your place

drinks at your place

That’s why having an excuse like getting another round of drinks at your place works well.

If you’re meeting a girl at happy hour or during the evening for a drink, then this is the perfect transition.

Especially if you’re getting cocktails.  I like to bet the girl I’m with that I can make a better drink than whatever she got.  I always have alcohol at my place with enough supplies to make some good cocktails.

Going back to your place for another drink implies sex, but it’s not as direct.

It gives the girl ability to say yes and then having an excuse later when she’s telling her friends how she ended up hooking up with you on the first hang out.

Ways to go about it

You can go about it a few different ways:

  • “I bet I can make a drink way better than that”
  • “Do you like tequila” (or whatever alcohol you have at home)
  • “Let’s get round two at my place”

Whether you want to say exactly one of those or something more your style is fine.  The last one is more to the point, the other two are more fun / playful.

The main point is that getting drinks at your place is a great excuse to get her back and get laid on the first date.

Have a cool sounding drink to make

gold rush cocktail

It actually helps if you’re able to make a few drinks.

It’s not too difficult, there’s tons of 3-ingredient recipes for easy cocktails.

The Gold Rush is my go to.

  • 2 oz bourbon
  • 3/4 oz lemon juice
  • 3/4 oz honey syrup

Our everything into a shaker, shake for 15 seconds, pour into a glass with ice.

It’s sweet as fuck so girls love it.  Fuck… I love it.

Always a nice excuse to go back to my place and get laid on the first date.

I’m also in San Francisco, so it plays on the theme of the home NFL team, the San Francisco 49ers.

I’m not just saying let’s down some shots at my place.

I have a cool drink to make that sounds classy / fun.  Most girls say yes to getting another a drink at my place.

The few who respond with something like “I don’t go to a guys place on the first date” or another excuse will usually come around when I mention the Gold Rush and that they have to try it since they’re in the Bay.

If she still doesn’t want to come back with at this point, then you’re not going to get laid on the first date with that girl period.  But so far it’s worked on the majority of girls.

You have to keep in mind that if a girl is getting drinks with you, there’s a good shot you’ll get laid on the first date anyways.  The drinks at your place is just a cool excuse that makes this easier.

At your place

your place

So she came back with you to your place.

Chances are very high you’re gonna get laid on the first date.  You can either go right for the sex, make drinks, or have drinks and put a movie on.

Get right to sex

get laid on the first date - going right for sex

I probably go for the fuck without making drinks on half the girls.

That’s because there’s some girls I just ask back to my place with no reason.  And there’s times I go for it even with the ones I say I’m gonna make a drink.

It all depends on the vibe of the girl and the situation.

If she came back with you, chances are high she wants to fuck.  But if you’re a beginner and haven’t gotten sex quickly with women then don’t stress it.

Making drinks

making cocktails

Have her sit on a chair, couch, or edge of your bed, wherever in near your kitchen.

Make the Gold Rush your drink of your choice for the two of you.  Alls you have to do is continue to talk to her while you two are sipping on your drinks.  You can sit next to her, touch her, flirt, and see how responsive she is to you.  You should both be relaxed after two drinks and not too drunk.

Maybe buzzed if they’re strong.  But there’s a host of reasons why you don’t want the girl to be wasted, so make sure she’s not too drunk.

If you’re not already near your bed, take her to your room.  You can tell her you’re giving her a tour of the apartment.

Then sit down on your bed, invite her to check it out.  At this point, you can put your hand through her hair, go for a kiss, and escalate to sex.  Chances are very high you’ll get laid on the first date.

At this stage, 90% of girls will be down to fuck if they’ve made it this far.

If you’re getting some last minute resistance, you can pull back your attention to attempt to get to her to give it up, or try some other things.  The majority of girls should be good to go and want the dick at this point.  But if she doesn’t want it, never force anything.

Watch a movie

netflix - get laid on first date

The most efficient way to get laid is just go get right to sex.

Many times a girl will be ready to go without any other distractions like the drinks.

If your instincts are strong and you think she’s ready, then just lead her to your room and sit down on the bed with her.  But let’s say you two had a drink when you got home and you’re too nervous or don’t want to be as direct.  You should man the fuck up and just go for it at this point.

However, here’s a solution if you’re still being a pussy or just want to be more sly.

  1. Take her to your room.  Get your laptop out.  Put on a movie from netflix.
  2. Have her get on the bed
  3. Put the laptop in front on her so she has to lay on her side to see the movie.
  4. Then cuddle her from behind.
  5. As the movie is playing, you can start to touch her, massage her, and see how she reacts.
  6. If she reacts positively then escalate to sex.

On the slight chance she doesn’t, then you can either pull back attention or kick her out.  Pulling back attention means you stop cuddling her and giving her any direct/indirect attention.

Girls live for attention

girls live for attention

Many times taking it away will cause them to fuck just so you’re paying attention to them.  If she still isn’t down, you can waste 2 hours of your life watching a dumb movie or tell her that she should leave.

You’re trying to get laid on the first date.

You’re not here to run a charity.  The girls who don’t fuck on the first date are usually ones who don’t come home with you.

The vast majority of girls will fuck if they come back to your place.  Given that you make a move.

For the few who don’t, just ignore them afterwards unless they are trying to come over and explicitly say they are down for some fun.

What to avoid

  • Being too pushy if she doesn’t want to come back
  • Buying expensive meals
  • Meeting her “halfway” miles from your place

Being too pushy

avoid being too pushy

If she doesn’t want to come back to your place then don’t be too pushy about it.  A little bit of persistence is good.  She may just be bullshitting you to see if you have some balls.  However, if a girl is serious about not coming back then don’t make a big deal about it.

You can flirt with her and joke about it.  But don’t show that you’re upset.  Doing that will just the chances of it happening at all in the future.

Your approach is to be flirty and smooth.

If you’re having to force it, you’re acting too desperate for the outcome on a chick that isn’t feeling it.

Buying expensive meals

don't buy expensive meals

Don’t buy expensive meals, or anything expensive.

If she’s down to fuck then it’s just not necessary and a waste of money.

And if you do treat her out, this could hurt your chances to get laid on the first date.  She could see you as a walking wallet and hold out.

Now, it’s fine to buy one round of drinks.  Whether you pay for it or she does isn’t a big deal.

  • Down the line as a player, you can get girls you’re seeing to buy you shit.
  • For the first date it’s not a big deal whether it’s a drink each or a coffee.
  • You’re not a bitch for buying one drink on a date.

And if you’re at a bar just remember to close your tab.  A lot of people will make a big deal out of who pays, but in my experience it doesn’t really matter.

*Buying one drink for a date is NOT the same as offering to buy a girl a drink at a bar who you never met before.  You’re not there to get a buffet or 5 rounds of drinks anyways.  You’re there to get one drink and bring her back so you can get laid on the first date.

If she lives far away, meeting halfway

meeting halfway

Don’t meet halfway at some place.

You can avoid this all together by not mentioning where you live or being vague about it.

Then when you two are making plans, you make them for the bar / coffee shop that’s right near where you live.  Meeting halfway is a sure way not to get laid on the first date.  Especially if that’s over a 20 minute drive from where you live.

Logistics are a big factor when it comes to getting pussy.  Yea, you can fuck in cars or in parks when your teenagers, but that’s not going to work for grown men most of the time.

That’s why living in a city, ideally in a trendy / central spot will help you so much with this.  When you live in a prime spot you’ll find that girls are more down to come to where you are.  Meeting halfway, or somewhere far from your place, will logistically kill you.

If you have her come to you than it’ll be much easier to get laid on the first date.

In order to do this, you have to be doing well in your business/career so you can afford a good spot.

It’s essential for every young, hungry guy to start building wealth now.  This will help you afford the nice apartment in the cool pat of town.

Why this seems so basic and simple

why does this seem so simple?

Look, it’s not a big deal to get laid on the first date.  80% of my fucks, give or take, were from the first date.

It’s not rocket science.  Meeting up for a drink, and getting another drink at your place or just going back to where you live in simple.  Because it’s actually not that hard to get laid on the first date.  If the girl is out with you at all, there’s a good chance she wants to fuck.

Yes, they are time wasters.

But most girls only become time wasters if they realize they can use you for expensive meals or if you turn out to be needy/boring.  If they’re going out with you and you’re cool, there’s a very, very good chance you can get laid on the first date.  A lot of it comes down to killer logistics and just not being weird.

So go out there and don’t be afraid to go for sex.  Like I said before, 80% or so of the girls I fucked gave it up on the first date.

Waiting means she’ll let someone else get laid on the first date.

Don’t wait.  Be a boss.  Invite her over and have some fun.  And once you know how to get laid on the first date effectively, work on upgrading your sex skills so you can fuck her properly.

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