How to Text a Girl: Avoid being Ghosted and Get Laid More

How to Text a Girl

how to text a girl

Knowing how to text a girl is essential for any man looking to get laid or communicate within relationships.  Texting is a great technology that allows us to message each other in a way that was never available until the modern era.

But most men don’t know how to text a girl the right way and end up using the technology to scare girls away.  Most guys get ghosted over text.

I’m going to break down how to text girls depending on the stages you’re in with them, going by:

  • Girls you just met
  • Girls you already slept with for the first time
  • Girls you see casually
  • Girlfriends / relationships

The major rules of texting girls apply to each of them, but what you’ll do is tailored to how well you know her.  You’re going to be a little bit different with a girlfriend versus the girl you met at a bar a few nights ago.  But the basics are essential the same.

Why text girls?

stop texting her first

Before you learn how to text a girl you just met or any girl, it’s important to know why you’re texting girls.

Texting is used to

  1. schedule meet ups
  2. build interest / sexual tension

Nothing else.  You can learn how to dirty text a girl to get her excited.  And you can flirt over text and build tension.  But for the most part, texting is not supposed to be back and forth all the time.  If you become a girls texting buddy then you’re headed straight to the friend zone.  It’s not hard to learn how to text message girls.  Not overdoing it will set you ahead of the pack.

Alpha males use texting to schedule meet ups.  You can be direct and short or be a little more flirty.  I’ve found lots of success in being direct / short until I get laid, then still being direct/ short but using a little more humor once I get the ass.

But you must be clear with your intentions with why you want to learn how to text a girl.  This doesn’t mean your first text to a girl is “hey let’s fuck tonight”.  But it means you’re to the point about meeting up.

If you want to be a player or a leader in your relationships then my methods are for you.  If you want to be her texting buddy and just be texting girls all day then you should look somewhere else.

Texting girls too much

she never texts first

95% of men over text women.

They respond too quickly, text too much, show too much interest, and bore the girls.

Women want men who are pre-selected.  Meaning they want men that other women like.  A man that is busy in his life AND texts a bunch of women is going to give each girl short responses that are to the point.

At worst, overtexting a woman is a sign of oneitis developing if you’re dating her.  And at best, if things are casual it still just shows your desperate for female attention.  Keep that in mind while you read this guide.

How to Text a girl you just met

woman happy texting man

Most of you are likely in this stage and want to know how to text a girl you just met.  Texting a girl for the first time is also the most important.  You haven’t slept with her yet and you two are starting off your interactions.  You want to maximize the chances of her meeting up with you.  And you want to set the stage for how things will be going forward.

The keys are simple ways to text a girl:

  • wait a few days
  • say who you are
  • mention getting drinks / meeting up

Examples you can use: Good texts to girls you just met

Let’s say you met her at a club and danced with her on Saturday night.  You can text her the following Wednesday and say something like

  • “It’s __, aka the guy at the club who can dance.  Let’s grab a drink sometime.”
  • “Hey it’s ____, good to meet you Saturday.  We should grab a drink.”

If she responds positively you can respond with “when are you usually available?”

You can use one of these or put your own twist to it.  The first one had some fun / cocky behavior, the second one was straight forward.  But both introduce who you are and are to the point.  You don’t want to just say “hey how are you” and have to wait for her response.  Then you respond, then she does, then you do, on and on…

This is a waste of time and also increases the chances of her getting bored.  A high value man isn’t going to waste time beating around the bush.  He’s going to know how to text a girl for the first time in an efficient way.

If she’s down to meet up with you then she’ll respond to you.  If she’s not down, then she was never going to be into you enough to meet up again.

A girl you already slept with for the first time

good sex

After you’ve slept with a girl you have a little more leeway.  You still don’t want to text too often or too much.  But since you got the pussy, and hopefully you gave her the best sex she’s ever had, then she’ll start to want you physically at a higher level.

Still, keep in mind a few rules

  • wait for her to text you or at least wait a few days to text
  • keep things short
  • schedule the next meet up

No need to spill out your heart to the girl because you slept with her one time.  You still need to keep things short.  Texting her is still just about meeting up the next time.  Don’t text her everyday after you went inside the pussy one time.

In fact, I prefer that she texts me first after I sleep with her.  This gets her to chase my attention.  And it puts me in the power seat.  If you have an abundance mindset then you can do the same thing.

However, some girls think that men should text first after the first fuck and will do their best to hold out.

So it’s okay if you text her first, but the key is to wait a few days.  If you text her that night after she leaves or the morning after saying how much fun you had, she’ll know that she has you under her spell.  But if you learn how to text a girl the right way by waiting, then she’ll wonder if she was good enough.

Which will cause her to keep chasing you.  Figuring out how to make a girl miss you isn’t hard.  Just disappear for a few days.  Let her wonder.

Girls you date casually

sexual strategies

Knowing how to text a girl you see casually is simple.  You can text her once in a while to have a good day.  And if she texts you then you can respond.

But you should only be texting her once a day or so.  And only more if you two are figuring out logistics for your next sex meet up or date.

The exception is if she’s pushing conversation or asking you questions.  Vary your responses in terms of how long you take and how much effort you out in.  As long as she is putting in more effort than you’re good.   However, some rules of thumb:

  • don’t text more than once per day (and you should go days without texting)
  • she should initiate contact at least 50%, but more is ideal
  • no long conversations
  • use texting to meet up

Girlfriends

getting a girlfriend - keeping the relationship alive

Most men who have girlfriends don’t know how to text a girl the right amount.

With a girlfriend, you’ll have to text her more than a girl you just met or a casual girl.  But you still want to limit it.  You can talk abut each other’s day and have some conversation over text.  It’s impossible not to because women are so used to communicating like this.

The key is to give her some good responses, for 2 or 3 texts, then go MIA (missing in action) for a few hours.  If you’re a man whose on his purpose then this will happen naturally.

You should tell you girlfriend that you can’t text much during work.  That leaves most of the day with limited texting.  And if she doesn’t text you then you can respond a few hours later and already have an excuse.  Then you can also say you can’t talk because you’re going to the gym, doing a martial art, or some other hobby.

You’ll text girlfriends more than other girls of course.  But the key is to be busy in your life and have reasons that you can’t text all the time.  This will run dread game on her, keep you busy, and prevent her of being bored of you.

Major rules for texting

By now you should have a general idea of how to text a girl you just met, a girl you are casual with, and a girlfriend.  Although it will be a little different depending on the situation, there are rules for texting with girls that will help you to succeed.  These rules are:

  1. Less is more
  2. Be obvious with jokes or don’t joke at all
  3. Don’t double text
  4. Never block numbers

1. Less is more

man looking at phone

Less is more with texting.  If you don’t know what to say then don’t respond.  Especially if a girl is trying to give an excuse to flake on a date or give you some shit test.  Women shit test all the time over texting by trying to mess up the plans you two have or sending passive aggressive texts.

The way you respond is by not responding.  Don’t send a girl a “ok” text and think you short text won.  You just showed you were butthurt.

Ignore low quality texts from girls

Instead, whenever a girl sends you a text you don’t like, just ignore her.  This works better on girls you’ve fucked and made cum a lot versus girls you have yet to bang.

But either way the concept is the same.

I figured this out on accident.  When I was starting to fuck a lot of girls, I took the hot girls off the pedestal.  Since I had an abundance of pussy I didn’t need to glorify them.  So when I got a text that was rude, had to do with changing plans, or otherwise not desirable, I simply didn’t respond.  I didn’t have time for the bullshit when I had 5 other attractive girls who were willingly to be complaint with my agenda.

And guess what?

The vast majority of these girls responded to their down texts – meaning double or triple texting me – with things like

  • apologizing and saying they can still make our date
  • asking me if I read their message
  • or even trying to send me sexy pictures in order to get me to forgive them (not the norm but happened enough for me to notice)

Pull back attention

When you don’t respond to bitchy behavior, you’re pulling back your attention.  In turn she’ll recognize you’re alpha and she’ll submit.

Some women might take a few hours (if she’s really into you) or a few days (newer to your team) or longer.  But most will text you again in an effort to try and make things work.

Girls you never had fucked might never hit you up.  But even then, the majority of girls I hadn’t fucked still reached out a few days/weeks later to try and meet up.  And some girls will also never be heard from again.  But the women who are willing to be submissive and have some level of interest in you will text you again.

2. Be obvious with jokes or don’t joke at all

You can flirt over text to build up tensions and amplify attraction.  But make sure your jokes or playful behavior is obvious.  If it’s not, or you’re unsure, then it’s better not to joke at all.  At least wait until you’ve slept with her.

Knowing how to text a girl for the first time shouldn’t be too complicated.  No need to send any crazy long texts, stories, or jokes over text.  Keep things short and about meeting up.

You can use jokes or flirty behavior with girls you’re already seeing.  But even then it’s not required to know how to text women.  Just think of texting as a scheduling tool.  You can use jokes here and there to build tension, but don’t overdo it.

3. Don’t double text

texting girls

Double texting is when you text a girl and then text her again later when she hasn’t responded.  Don’t ever double text.  Keep it to one text only and wait for her to respond.  If she never responds then don’t hit her up.

The exception is here is with dating sites when you first message a girl.  I still prefer not to message a girl more than once.  But if this is a girl you’ve never met, then you can message her again a few weeks later.  This is still weak behavior, but admittedly I’ve gotten laid by doing this.  Girls get so many messages online that they may not have seen yours.

But that’s the one exception.  If you have a girls number and you’re texting her than there’s no need to text more than once.  Double texting will make you seem desperate and lower her attraction.  She has your number.  She’ll respond when she wants to.  If she didn’t respond it’s not because she didn’t see it.

4. Never delete numbers

Never delete a girls number.  Because if you do, then she texts you later, and you ask who it is, she’ll know you were weak and got butthurt.  Pimps don’t get butthurt about petty shit.

The reason you delete numbers is because you’re butthurt she didn’t text you back or meet up with you.  But she could’ve been seeing a another man, getting back with her ex, or busy with life.  Either way, it takes girls a few weeks or even a few months before you hear from them.

If you deleted their number then you won’t know who they are.  And you’ve hurt your chances at having her come back.

But if you kept her number then you’ll know who it is.  You can invite her to your place straight away from some action.  This is how you get booty calls from girls.  You wait for them to hit you up when they need some side dick or a new main dick.  Then you invite them over.  If you don’t know who they are then she’ll likely hit up another dude she had lined up and you’ll miss your chance.

It’s important that you not only learn how to text a girl in the right way, but that you’re patient.  Never deleting numbers is a sign of patience and it will pleasantly surprise you at the amount of girls that hit you up a few months later when they’re ready to fuck.

Texting girls

how to text a girl, man texting

Now you know how to text a girl the right way.  Use texting as a tool to meet up with women.  On girls you see more often you can text more.  But still try to minimize the number of texts you send.

Less is more with texting.  High value men use texting as a tool to coordinate with women, not to text each other all day long.  Nice guys and betas have time to do that.  Alphas are too busy talking to multiple women and building their wealth.

Don’t make a big deal out of texting.  There aren’t magic lines to text girls to instantly make them want you or get them to drop the panties.

But you can determine how to text a girl correctly simply by not texting more than a few times a day, using it to meet up, and keeping things short.  Act like you have a high sexual market value and you’ll be treated better.

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