How to use Tinder to get Laid and Meet Women: Guide w/ Examples

How to use Tinder to get Laid and Meet Women: Step by Step Guide

How to use Tinder to get Laid

Learning how to use tinder to get laid and meet women can be a useful skill in your dating life.

It’s true that tinder isn’t in its prime as it might have been in 2014 or 2015.  But tinder is still the largest dating app out there.  And while I never preach for it to be your only source of getting women – unless you’re smv is top 5% – it’s a great tool to have in your arsenal.

Tinder as a pipeline

There are some cities like New York City where you learn how to use tinder and pipeline just through that alone.  Although you’d be wasting your time there by not seeing a great city, tinder is extremely beneficial in markets that favor men.

However, even in cities like San Francisco or Toronto – both known for being bad for men – Learning how to use tinder will still help you.  Because it’s another source to meet girls.

If you combine tinder with going out to clubs/bars with bros, going out to dance, and building a social circle, then you’ll have plenty of options for you to meet women.

Why you should use tinder

Tinder is a way for you to meet girls.  Many of the girls you’ll meet for drinks and then you’ll try to get them home.  Some girls will actually just come over to your place.  And that’s the advantage of tinder… sometimes you’ll just get laid without even having to leave your home.

It’s pretty cool when a girl will just come over.  Sometimes it will take a little convincing or taking on the phone.  But many girls will just come right over.  And there are plenty of girls who want to grab a drink just to make sure you’re a real guy.

If you’re looking to sleep with girls and add some new women to your roster, then you should use tinder as a pipelining source.  You don’t need to spend much time on it, and in fact you should be careful in that you aren’t always on the app.

How to get laid on tinder

Figuring out how to get laid on tinder isn’t difficult.  The formula is easy, but you must follow it.

And it’s also not for everyone.  You need to be decent looking to do well on tinder.  Looks matter in real life, but they matter even more on tinder.  You can’t be overweight or look average.  You actually don’t need to be a model (although that would really help), but you need to appear to at least be a 7.5 or 8.  A 7 at the very least.  But with good pictures, you should be able to make yourself a 7.5 or 8.

Which leads us into the steps for how to get laid on tinder:

  1. Have amazing pictures
  2. Swipe right on girls you want to fuck
  3. Message a ton of girls and then get off
  4. How to talk to girls on tinder – short and sweet
  5. Get dates / hangouts

1. Have amazing pictures

style to defeat black pill

You need to have amazing pictures.  This is the most important step by far.  Most men put bad pictures up or “pretty good pics” up and they just don’t do it.  Pictures need to be high quality and they need to make you look good.

Ideally you have a picture or two by yourself where you look good, a picture with you and girls, a picture with you and bros, and pics of you traveling.  And of course if you can get a picture with you and a puppy then you’re golden.

Having great pictures can add a point or even 2 to your looks and sexual market value.

You can use pictures to make yourself look better.  And I don’t mean manipulating your looks in photoshop.  I mean adding social value to yourself with your pictures.  You do this by adding one of the pictures I mentioned above – a picture with you and girls.  In order to do this you actually need to have a social life and get someone to take a picture.

My best picture ever – social proof

The best picture I ever had was me in the middle and 4 girls, 2 on each side of me.  I was wearing all black and they were wearing red.

These girls were all on my salsa team, so it’s not like I was actually getting at them or even trying to.  Before a performance I was taking pictures with my dance partner, and then I made a joke and told all the girls to get in the picture.  So they all laughed and then came over and I got pictures with me surrounded by women.

In reality, I wasn’t getting anywhere with these girls.  There were just as many guys on my dance team.  But I knew having a picture of me surrounded by girls, especially with me in the center and all of us dressed up, would add tons of social and sexual value to myself.


I don’t even look my best in the picture.  I’m 5’8”, and all of the girls are wearing heels, so I’m the tallest but not by much.  I’m looking off to the side and almost about to laugh.  However, all of the girls are looking at me a giggling.  The impression the photo gives is that women like to be around me.

And when I uploaded this picture to tinder I got noticeably more matches and attention from women.

So even though I thought I looked better in other pictures, this picture showed I was desired by other women.  Learning how to use tinder is about making yourself look like a guy girls want to fuck with.  So if you have female friends that are decent looking, get people to take pictures with you on a night out.

Get girls in a picture with you

If you want to get the same kind of result I did then you need to do the work to join a dance team and then get a picture like that.  If you don’t, just build a social circle, make a joke about getting a picture for tinder, and say “girls only” for your picture.

This is one of the few things no one talks about.  Yes, you need to have pictures where you look good.  But for women raw looks are only one thing.  You can boost your social value and make yourself seem more attractive.

Don’t skip this step!  Getting good pictures is the key to doing well on tinder.  If you don’t have any then it’s worth putting a month of work in to get good pictures of yourself before actually determining how to use tinder further.  Because without good pictures, trying to figure out how to get laid on tinder is impossible.

2. Swipe right on girls you want to fuck

how to get laid on tinder - swipe right

After you’ve uploaded 4-7 quality pictures, the next step in learning how to use tinder is simply to swipe right or left.  You swipe right on girls you’d be willing to fuck and swipe left on girls you don’t.

Spend a few seconds on each girl and then move on.  Don’t get too caught up in any one girl.  Tinder is a numbers game so you need to stay swiping.

Some guys will just swipe right on every girl and then unmatch ugly ones.  I say don’t do that.  I’ve tried that before and you end up having to unmatch a lot of girls and it ends up being a waste of time.  Swiping right on every girl also lets tinder know that you’re unattractive.  The algorithms will ding you in how they rate you and the priority in which you’re shown to girls.

3. Message a ton of girls and then get off

You want to get as many matches with girls you’re interested in as possible.  Because learning how to use tinder is all about a battle for attention.  You need to have a super abundance mindset to do well, and you’re only going to have that if you’re talking to a lot of women.

You want to get up to 500-1000 matches over the first month or few months you’re on tinder.

However you can start messaging girls when you get to about 100 matches or so.

The method here is simply.  Message all the girls at once and then get off.  You can respond to the ones who responded to you the next day.

Tinder openers

Now what to actually say to girls to open them?  Well there’s many things you can say.  The best thing you can do is to come up with something witty off of their profile and make a joke or flirt with them about it.  Most men will just say “hey” or “hey beautiful” or even “let’s have sex”.  These are all terrible.

And besides coming up with something unique, I actually just copy and paste and message all of the girls and then get off.  Coming up with something unique will simply take too long if you’re focused on your purpose and building a business.

I’ve also had success with two other tinder openers that can be used on any girl.

The first one is sending a GIF of a puppy.  This has actually worked really well in that pretty much every girl loves puppies.  Probably got at least 40% to respond.

Best tinder opener

The second one is asking the girls a question.  This has actually proven to be even better.  Questions like:

  • You know who you look like?” or
  • “You know who you remind me of?”

These get super high response rates and get the girls interested in what you’re going to say.  Probably 50 or 60% responded, and seemed to have even better chances for follow up then the GIF.

You steal their attention away.  And sometimes I’ll use each opener later in the conversation.  Like if the conversation isn’t going anywhere,  and I already opened the girl with the puppy GIF, then I’ll ask out of the blue, “you know who you look like?”  Learning how to use tinder like this has helped me a ton to re-engage girls and get back the conversation.

And the follow up

From there they’ll usually say “who” or “I don’t know” or “no, tell me” and I’ll respond with

  • “Someone who wants to watch a scary movie with me” or
  • “Someone who wants to grab a drink with me”

how to get laid on tinder - questions                 tinder openers                  tinder openers v2

None of these girls were stunners, but just examples of how to do it.

Here’s an example where a girl was only in town and wanted to make sure she could take me up on her offer.

how to use tinder to get laid - openers            how to open a girl on tinder

You can imagine the follow up is pretty easy.  I generally tell the girl that the movie is a surprise and she has to wait to see my pick.  That way she comes over to my place because I’m not actually going to try and see a movie in theaters.  If she comes over directly then there’s a 95% chance she’s down to fuck.  Some girls want to meet a bar nearby to verify you’re real and that also can work.

How to talk to girls on tinder – short and sweet

A big part of using tinder is learning how to talk to girls on tinder.  And the biggest mistake guys make with talking to girls on tinder is talking too much and too often.

The girl already has some interest in matching with you and then responding to you.  You need to keep things short, a little bit flirty, and sometimes direct.

Keep things short + respond slowly

So what do you do once you get a response on tinder?  Do you respond right away to show you care?  Hell no.  If you want to know how to get laid on tinder then you better take your sweet time.  Respond slowly and keep things short.

My method – message and get off

Just like Instagram, where I post and get off, I have a similar way I use tinder.  I swipe for a few minutes and then I message a bunch of girls for a few minutes.

With new girls I’ll either send them a GIF or ask the question from above.  The question is nice because you can just copy and paste that.  After messaging the new girls, I’ll message all of the girls from the previous day that responded.  And then I’ll get off.  So all in all I typically spend around 15 minutes at the end of the day or beginning of it on tinder.

Knowing how to talk to girls on tinder means that you ideally message only once a day.  If you message twice then space it out between many hours.  But remember that less is more, and you’re better off messaging them once a day.

This changes when you’re trying to meet up with a girl on a specific day.  Let’s say you’re figuring out how to talk to girls on tinder and you’re getting a few interested.  You’ll have some girls who will want to come over but will need a little reassurance.  In this case it’s okay to message them on the same day.

You just need to make sure you’re taking at least 10 minutes in between texts and you’re not being desperate.  She may come over she may not.  You’ll have the best chance if you play it cool and go for the close but not in a weak way.

5. Get dates / hangouts

Getting dates or hang outs – aka fucking – is the goal.  After all, if you want to learn how to get laid on tinder then you’ll need to progress to the next step.

I talk initiative on this by having my opening conversation already related to hanging out.

When you’re learning how to talk to girls on tinder, remember that meeting up is the goal.  Short conversations with high mutual interest, or at least hers is high, is key.  I’ve had examples where the conversations have been longer and I’ve gotten laid by turning a situation around, but most lays are the ones that happen relatively easily.

Keeping that in mind, I usually go for a

  • direct hang out at my place
  • drinks at a bar (which just happens to be near me)
  • salsa dancing (I’m a dancer, actually enjoy it, involves drinking + flirting)


The direct hang out is usually what you want.  These are the easiest because a girl whose coming over directly 9.5 times out of 10 wants to fuck and rarely has second thoughts about it.


Drinks at a bar near your place will probably be the most common.  This is relatively low risk, allows both of you to see each other + flirt, and if she’s down then your place is right there.  And if she does flake, then you didn’t need to travel far.


Salsa dancing is one that I’ve used well.  The pictures of me dancing are usually enough to get girls to come over or meet me for a drink.  I rarely have to actually dance in order for girls to want to sleep with me because I dance.  But if a girl really wants to or if she won’t hang out another way, then I’ll invite her dancing with me.

This is also low risk for me because I go out dancing regardless.  If she doesn’t come then  I can still meet girls out dancing.  And if she does then we can drink, dance, and go back to my place afterwards.

Progressing the messages

The best messages are short and sweet and involve you two meeting up relatively quickly.  I’ve realized in certain markets like NYC or Chicago, that conversations have gone well and escalated quickly.  However, I’ve also realized that learning how to use tinder in a male dominated sexual market place, like San Francisco, takes more time.  At least for hotter women.  You can always get a 6 or 7 to meet up quickly.  8’s and 9’s can meet up quickly too if you stick to your game plan or they like you, but’s always more competitive  online.

Where as in real life, 8’s, 9’s, and 10’s get hit on the same as a 6 or 7 because guys don’t have the balls to approach.  But online, they get hit on like crazy.

But if a girl really likes you, then she’ll still meet up with you.

A lot of people will tell you not to keep up with girls who don’t meet up right away.  But you’re leaving a lot of ass on the table by doing that.  And if you’re somewhere on the west coast where gender ratios are terrible, then you need to learn how to use tinder in a way that will work for you.

Here are a few examples of messages I’ve had.


The examples I provided I fairly opposites.  It’s to show that learning how to use tinder to get laid isn’t a one stop approach.  You can do things the easy way or put in more work.  To some girls you’ll be really attractive and they’ll chase you.  To other girls you’ll need to play a longer game.  Both work when you’re figuring out how to get laid using tinder, which is why I’ve included them here.

Girl messages me first – high interest

The first is a girl who messaged me first.  When a girl messages you first, it’s a sign of very high interest.  It takes pretty much no game.  Just keep your frame and meet up.  I even messaged this girl twice at one point, however that was because I got busy and had to push it back.  So it wasn’t for a needy reason, although still not ideal.

The reason I show this isn’t because it’s any example of good game, rather the power of pictures.  I had great pictures and let the girl come to me.  This is way easier than when you reach out to girls.  So if you guys want to do things the player way and make it easy, then use good ass pictures.

It makes it so much easier compared to the next example.  Obviously most girls won’t message you first, but when you raise your value and get high quality pictures to show it off, getting laid on tinder becomes much easier.


how to get laid on tinder - high interest          how to use tinder to get laid - high interest         How to talk to girls on tinder

talking to girls on tinder - texting

I message girl first, takes a long time to meet up, but then becomes a plate

The second example is the opposite.  Some of you won’t get great pictures, or maybe you do but you still need to message girls first.  Some girls will have some interest but not enough to meet up right away.  It’s still possible to fuck a cute girl when you learn how to talk to girls on tinder even if she won’t meet up right away.

Ideally you want to go after the girls who like you a lot.  But attractive girls on apps like tinder, especially like cities with bad ratio’s like San Francisco, can require more time.  This girl had some interest in me, but clearly didn’t see me as a 9 or 10.  That’s fine, I can fuck these girls too.

As a busy man on his purpose, you may not have time to deal with girls like this.  If I met her in real life and it was like this I’d just go after other women.  But because I hadn’t met her yet, my investment was just some messages.

I wanted to show you guys that you can still fuck a girl even after messaging back and forth if you catch her at the right time or upgrade your profile.   It’s not the ideal way of doing things, but there’s a good amount of women you can fuck by staying persistent.

Because while women use tinder for attention, most will date and fuck guys from there when they feel like it.

tinder - photo 1     tinder - photo 2     tinder - photo 3 tinder - photo 4    tinder - photo 5      tinder - photo 6

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I lived near downtown.  If she was thinking about fucking me, just out of convenience she might.  This is why living in a central part of a city will get you laid if you’re just there half the time.

tinder - photo 16       tinder - photo 17            tinder - photo 18

Right here she saw that I uploaded a picture of me with girls in our dancing costumes.  Learning how to get laid on tinder or any avenue of the game is much easier with sexual social proof.  So this raised her interest a little more.  And obviously I get the benefit of every other girl on tinder seeing me with these better pictures.

tinder - photo 19         tinder - photo 20           tinder - photo 21

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Long game tinder – far from ideal, but can work

In this example, my game wasn’t perfect, but it worked.

You might take a look and think I was being desperate.  But I was pushing for the hangout.  If you keep on texting without ever meeting up or talking about meeting up then it will never happen.  I made sure to show that the reason for my talking to her on tinder was for a meet up.

I figured since the conversation on tinder was going this long that we’d probably not meet up as her interest wasn’t high enough.  But with updating my pictures, and pushing for the date while making myself less available, I was able to get her to finally get her to meet up.

Pushed for hangout

Because she was curvy / yet fit (my ideal body type in a woman) and close by, and hot for San Francisco standards, I figured might as well push this and get her as a fuckbuddy.  And although there were lots of messages, I never spent more than a few seconds responding to her until the day we actually met up.

So I was continually pushing for the meet up, but I still wasn’t putting much effort in each message, and had little expectation.  I also usually didn’t send more than 1 message on most days, only a few when I got close to the actual hang out.  This also allowed for me to “go for the no”.  In sales this is when you’re trying to get the buyer to make a decision, so you push for the no answer.  I didn’t actually tell her I wasn’t going to meet up,  but I basically just went for the hang out until she stopped responding or actually followed through.  I wasn’t going to become a beta texting buddy.

And ironically though, even in this example, the girl only committed to meet up after I uploaded the picture of me in my dancing outfit with 4 girls surrounding me.  Just goes to show how important your pictures are when it comes to getting laid on tinder.

Key takeaways

This is a small example, but it shows that pictures really matter.  And it also shows that you need to be assertive in pushing for the hang out, but not being desperate.  With the second example, I was actually pushing too hard in the beginning.  But when I got a better picture and become more unavailable, she thought more highly of me.  I was then able to get enough interest from her for her to come over.

You can do things the short way or long way, but keep your options open.  Both girls were down to hang out with me when I became more busy and had other girls lined up in case they flaked.  Which caused me to be able to keep my game tight and know how to use tinder to get laid with a high interest girl and a medium/low interest girl.

Tips for men to get laid on tinder

How to talk to girls on tinder - message a lot

I’ve discussed why learning how to use tinder can be beneficial for players in the game.  And hopefully I’ve drilled into your brain the importance of your pictures, some ideas on how to message girls, and the general strategy of how to talk to girls on tinder.

Here’s a few extra tips to make sure you have success figuring out how to use tinder to get laid and meet women:

  • Tinder Gold and Super likes work
  • Swipe everyday
  • Live in a city / metro area
  • Use amazing pictures
  • Talk to a lot of girls at once
  • Push to hang out but never be desperate
  • Girls who message you first have high interest
  • Don’t spend too much time on tinder

Tinder Gold and Super likes work

The first thing is that Tinder Gold is worth it and super likes work well.  I’ll get into that in another article.  Super likes in theory might seem like they’d backfire.  But I’ve had a ton of success with them.  In fact, in both examples above came from super likes.  And they also came to my place directly.  One showed high interest and the other took a while.

But I must say that the 5 super likes a day you get from tinder gold are worth it.  You may not need it if you’ll be on tinder for months and months.  However, you should definitely consider using it for the first 2 or 3 months you’re on tinder.  The unlimited swipes and 5 super likes will help you out a lot.

Maybe it’s because with all of her messages you’re one of the few blue stars, or because you super liked her she’s curious about you.  It definitely works though and the 5 super likes a day is very underrated.

Probably half of the girls or more that I fucked were girls I superliked.  And out of the girls I matched with, less than 5% were superlikes.  The response rate, willingness to meet up and fuck is just so much higher.  Some of the girls I superliked even messaged me first.

Swipe everyday

You can’t get a few matches or responses and count on those to come through.  Tinder is a numbers game.  Knowing how to use tinder to get laid means you need to always be building up the pipeline.  Spend a few minutes each day swiping right.  Even if you already have 500 or 600 matches, you can always use more.

Live in a city / metro area

central location in city

This is more of a pre-requisite than anything.  It’s impossible to learn how to get laid on tinder if you’re in the middle of nowhere.  Even suburbs aren’t ideal.

You need to live in a city if you want to be able to use tinder effectively.  The more central / trendy the location the better.  This will make it much easier for girls to come to you or visit a bar near you since you’ll be in a cool area.  The one thing you should be spending money on is a decent apartment.

Use amazing pictures

I’ve said it a million times but I’ll sound like an old man and say it again.  Your pictures will make or break you on tinder.  Knowing how to use tinder properly means you need to have great pictures.

High quality want you want.  They don’t always have to be the highest quality in terms of the actual photo quality.  But they need to have a lot of value.  For example, the picture of me with the girls is only okay photo quality.  But it’s a super high quality photo because it makes me look like a man that women want.

Pictures are everything on tinder.  Upload bad or even just mediocre pictures and you’ll get no results.

Talk to a lot of girls at once

how to make a girl like you over text

You need to match with a lot of girls, and then talk to a lot of girls so you have a real abundance mindset.  It’s much easier to be late in responding and give off the right vibe when you’re talking to a lot of girls at once.

Many girls will stop responding.  They get tons of matches and messages.  That’s why you need to avoid getting attached to meeting up with any one girl.  And you do all of this my talking to a lot of girls on tinder.  And this is 10x what you would do if you met a few girls in real life and had their phone number.

Figuring out how to talk to girls on tinder means that you need to not only be cool and unavailable.  It also means that you need to talk to as many decent looking girls as you can.  Otherwise you’ll underestimate how much of a numbers game online dating is and you’ll get frustrated.

Push to hang out but never be desperate

Determining how to use tinder to get laid requires equal parts of the pursuit of sex while at the same time never being desperate.  You’re there to try and meet up with her.  At the same time, you’ll need to not be desperate.  This is the toughest part about learning how to get laid on tinder.

Because most of you will feel a little desperate to fuck a girl.  Especially when she has a nice ass or set of tits.

This comes with practice.  But you need to be aware of this balance.  Never pushing to hang out will result in the conversation going nowhere.  However, being desperate is always a turn off and will leave you with nothing.  Learning how to use tinder properly will have you be like a peek-a-boo boxer.

You won’t appear often, once a day or so, but when you do, you have intention.  Sometimes you’ll have to play it more cool, other times you’ll have to go for the hangout.

Girls who message you first have high interest

This should be obvious as hell.  In the above example, it took basic common sense to get the girl who messaged me first to meet up and come over.

Girls who message you first have high interest.  While it’s not a guarantee fuck, there’s a very solid chance you’ll do well with this girl.  She has high interest.  You can game her like a normal chick, or respond a little faster if she seems like she’s trying to meet up.  But don’t throw everything out the window.  Otherwise she can lose interest very quickly if she thinks that you’re weird or not as high valuable as she thought.

Don’t spend too much time on tinder

spend less time on dating apps

A big way to get too attached and mess up with girls to talk to is to spend too much time on tinder.

You should allocate 15 minutes, 30 at most if you’re just getting started, at the end or beginning of the day for tinder.

Then get off.  You need to do the swipes, message new girls, and follow up with other girls.  But then get the fuck off of tinder.  Looking at pictures of a hot girl you matched with or overanalyzing a conversation will kill your game.  It will leave you disappointed, and you’ll start to message the same girls too quickly.

Become a man whose focused on his purpose.  You’re simply using tinder as a pipelining tool to meet new girls.  Get on, use it well, and get off.  That’s the best mentality to have when learning how to use tinder to get laid.

Have a profile that makes it easy for girls to message you

You’ll have to do most of the pursuing on tinder.  But there will be girls who reach out to you when they really like what they see.  While a bio isn’t super important, having a good bio gives girls an excuse to message you.  My bio mentioned that I like to kill spiders, drink, and ruin lives.  It was short, funny, and gave the girls something to comment on.  I also added that I would take the girls out salsa dancing if they asked nice.  Which helped me get a lot of girls to message me.

The girl in the first example mentioned spiders.  She came over to my place and we never touched a spider.  However, part of knowing how to use tinder is giving girls something to work with.  You do that with great pictures and a short, cool, funny bio.

Most of the girls who messaged me first either brought up salsa dancing or said they wanted me to ruin their life.  Regardless, I gave them a solid profile that let them have an excuse to hit me up.

High Quality Pictures and Patience are key

how to be a player - build a pipeline

In order to succeed on tinder, you need high quality pictures that make you look like the man, and patience.  It takes time to get enough matches to make tinder useful.  But once you do, tinder is still a great source to meet and sleep with women from.  It’s not meant to replace real life, although it can be your sole source in sexual market places where you have leverage (NYC, foreign countries where you have status, etc.).

However, it’s too good of a tool not to have in your arsenal.

Learn how to use tinder to get laid and meet girls that you can see for regular sex.  Adapt your text game and also make sure you’re able to figure out how to talk to girls on tinder in order to get a meet up.  With enough practice and small, but consistent effort, you’ll know how to get laid on tinder easily.  It’s just a formula you need to follow.

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