I can get numbers from cold approach but then get flaked on

I can get numbers from cold approach but then get flaked on

I can get numbers from cold approach but then get flaked on

If you can get numbers from cold approach but get flaked on then I’m going to explain why this is happening and how to stop it.  I won’t promise you that you’ll completely get rid of girls flaking on you.  Getting flaked on can happen to any man and is part of the game.  But a man with experience should have this greatly reduced because he can sense if a woman is interested or not.  And if he does get flaked on he doesn’t care because he has other women or just doesn’t place that much importance on it.

But if that’s not you right now then don’t worry.  With time and continued self improvement it will be.

Let’s focus on reducing how much you get flaked on.

The problem with cold approach

If you’re getting flaked on from girls you meet in cold approach, the problem isn’t you.  I mean it could be.  You could be doing things to turn girls off after you get their number.  But the real problem is the method.  Cold approach is when you’re approaching random women.

Many won’t like you.  Some will have low interest.

You’ll get a few high interest, but it’s a massive numbers game.  Even girls who seem friendly when you approach may never text you back or you’ll end up getting flaked on.  Cold approach is when you’re running up on girls on your own.  They didn’t get a chance to choose you.

Choosing is when a woman gives you eye contact or some sort of sign that she likes you.  Generally she’ll look at you and then look down.  This will happen if you’re walking by each other.  She could do this at a venue as well, or even come stand near you if she’s trying really hard.  Even a match on a dating app is a choosing signal and a greenlight to message her.  Real life choosing signals are much better, but regardless all of these are the same concept.  The women do the choosing.  As men, we do the initial approach to get the ball rolling.

Cold approach is when you don’t let the girl do the choosing.  You go up and talk to her.

Low chance of success

biggest problems men struggle with

Will some girls like you?  Yes, some will.  But it’s a much lower chance than if a girl is choosing you.  If a girl is choosing you, then she likes you.  If you’re cold approaching, then it’s a way lower chance.  Not every girl will be ruthless and shut you down.  Many women will be nice to you and like it that a guy is approaching them, even if she doesn’t like you.  Some may like you just enough to give you their number, but that doesn’t mean that much.

Getting a girls number today is a means of communication, but it doesn’t really mean that she has high interest.  She doesn’t think you’re a complete creep, but it doesn’t really mean shit.

The reason you get flaked on with girls you cold approached is because they didn’t have that high of interest in you.  Many guys mistake a woman being friendly for high interest.  When in reality she may have flirted a bit or have been nice to get that attention from you, but she didn’t really like you.  If she really liked you and the connection you two had was that good, she’s be down to meet up with you.  You wouldn’t be getting flaked on.

“But we had a good connection”

Don’t confuse your desire to fuck an attractive girl with having a genuine connection.  I get emails from guys like this:

“I approached this beautiful bombshell and we talked, she smiled and laughed, we had a great connection.  but then she flaked on me and stopped responding to me.”

Well motherfucker, you need to rethink how good your connection was.  You just thought she was hot and you want to fuck her.  She had enough interest to give you her number, but she wasn’t actually that into you.

Raise your value and approach women who send choosing signals

woman trying to have sex with man

So what’s the solution to getting flaked on after you get a girls number?  Well – stop cold approaching all the time.  You can do it here and there, after all you can meet some beautiful women doing it.  But you’re going to have a much higher rate of flakes.

If you don’t want to get flaked on as much, you need to raise your value and approach women who are interested.

How you you raise your value?  Well it will be primarily through your looks and style that will give you more choosing signals.  However you can also use sexual social proof as well.  This has helped a ton with new women who add me on Instagram or see my dating profiles.

You can show off your money in your style to a degree, but I wouldn’t lead with it unless you have lambo money.  Instead your money will help you out later on – with having your own place and rmv to give the girls something to work for or actually get a relationship.

Drastically reduce getting flaked on

Once you raise your value, your looks / style / and also confidence, you’re going to have more girls give you choosing signals.  These are women you can approach and do well with.  You’ll get flaked on dramatically less.  If I go out at night and talk to 2 or 3 girls that give me choosing signals, I can get 2 or 3 dates.  If I cold approach 10 girls, I can get 5 numbers but will be lucky to get 2 or 3 dates.

Will I ever cold approach a bad ass chick I see that I want?  Yes.  But it’s not my go to method and if she flakes or acts uninterested then I’m not surprised or butthurt.  However like I said above, I’ll add these girls on Instagram or other social media to show off my status and then increase the chance of not getting flaked on.

Much better to pursue women with higher interest

To summarize, women who give you choosing signals:

  • From real life and dating apps, will have a much lower chance of flaking
  • Since they’re already pre-selecitng you, there’s some level of interest already there
  • Can still get flaked on, but way less likely

Improve your text game

less is more, man smiling texting

What if you’re approaching women who like you and match with online, but you’re still getting flaked on?

In this case it’s not your smv.  It’s your game.  You have the looks or status or money, or even charm in person, but then you’re turning the girls off over text.  Texting women too fast and showing too much interest can kill your game.  It’s unfortunate, but you need to have good text game in today’s dating age.

In general, you need to

  • Stop being so desperate
  • Reach out to women, but be shorter
  • Know when to ask them out, how to handle objections, and when to ignore

If you want to have the foundation for texting women, especially women you just met, I wrote a book on it.

Talk to women with interest in you

If you see a girl that’s your type, yea you can do a cold approach.  But it shouldn’t be your go to method.  You guys shouldn’t spend a Saturday “day gaming” walking around trying to get your numbers.  You should be working on your business in a coffee shop or living a social life.  Cold approaching girls is ineffective as a long term strategy due to all of the flakes.  Yea you can meet some hot girls doing it.  However for a man focused on his purpose and becoming financially free, it shouldn’t be his main thing.  Instead he should be on his grind and get more girls to chase him.

If you move to a new city and want to do a lot of cold approaches as a numbers game to meet some girls quickly, then go for it.  In this case, or cases of vacation / short stays, lots of cold approach can make sense.

But due to the nature of it and getting flaked on, you shouldn’t use it as your main source.  Raise your value and sex appeal, and approach girls you are interested.  Then you won’t get flaked on nearly as much and your dating life will be a lot easier.

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