She Never Texts First… what this means and how to get her to text you

She never texts first

she never texts first

She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything.  Well it does.  It means you like her more than she likes you.  It means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.

It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, a friends with benefits, or a girl you’re trying to sleep with.  If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.

Lower interest

women low interest texting

When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you.  Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest.  After all, if it’s a girl you’re sleeping with or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you.  It may even be at a decent level.

But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do.  You’re in the weaker position.  It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.

You care more than her.  And therefore she has more power than you.  Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction.  And if she’s a girl you’re trying to sleep with but haven’t, then  you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.

But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!

I get this a lot from guys.  They tell me she never texts first but always replies.  The girl still acts excited when they text her.

So she likes when you text her.  So what.  I mean, that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you. It could be a lot worse.  But she never texts first so you’re still in the bad position.

She may be happy when you text her and respond well.  However you’re still constantly chasing her. You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.

Women need constant validation and attention.  So when you give it to her, this particular girl is being smart by being enthusiastic.  If she ignored you or was short in her responses then she’d lose your attention and another source of validation for her.

But if your girlfriend never texts first, then that’s a bad very sign.

What to do

habits for success - analyzing yourself

It doesn’t matter what your goal is.  Whether it’s to sleep with this girl, or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you.  Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up.  You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.

Because right now you’re being needy.  Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.

And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.

Stop texting her first

stop texting her first

You need to stop texting her first.  She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to.  And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time.

It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation.  Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in.  Instead you need to get her to chase you.  Which means stop texting her first.

If you’re sending her a

  • good morning
  • good night
  • how are you doing
  • how’s your day
  • hey there

Or whatever type of texts, cut it off.  She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you.  Instead, get on your purpose.  Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass.

  • If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
  • If it’s just some girl you’re sleeping with casually it might take her a week or a few weeks.
  • And if it’s a girl you haven’t slept with, it might take her a few weeks or even a few months.

But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first.

What if she never texts me first?

If the girl never texts you first ever, than she doesn’t have any interest in you.  A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually.  A girl you’re seeing casually should give you a text soon as well.  It might take her longer, but if you’re giving her amazing sex and a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.

The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t slept with yet.  You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now.  She might have some interest but it’s not enough to sleep with you.  And she might not ever sleep with you, or she’s messing around with another guy right now.

Either way, the right move is to stop texting her.  If she ever is done with that guy than chances are she’ll hit you up.  And if she never was going to sleep with you then you’ll never hear from her.

Stop responding right away

man looking at phone

Another thing is to stop responding right away.  When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time.  Make her wait sometimes.

I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back.  Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business.  Then you won’t have time to text her back right away.  Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.

But switch things up.

  • Respond to her after 20 minutes or a half hour.
  • Then wait 4 hours.
  • Then text her back the next day, then wait more hours.

The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes.  If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.

Woman want a man who has higher value than herself.  A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away.  He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.

Sign of a bigger issue

If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue.  And that issue is that you care more than her.  You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first.  You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.

That’s no way for a man to live.

You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship.  Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you sleep with casually, in all interactions with women you’re either the alpha or the beta.  If you’re the beta then you need her.  And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her.  But if you’re the alpha then she needs you.  And she’ll become obsessed with you.

Stop texting her first.  Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her.  If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first.  When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone.  Take your time.  Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.

Let her text you

woman happy texting man

If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless.  But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you.  Which is an amazing feeling.  You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.

Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and giving her the best sex she’s ever had, and the roles can reverse.  If she never texts first then give her the chance to.

Build up a life of your own.  Do fun things, post them on Instagram – and then get off – to show off your life.  Talk to more women if you’re single.  If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first.  Make yourself a more valuable man.

And get an abundance mindset.  If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you.  For random girls, don’t worry if this girl never texts me first.  Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about.  Hit girls up for dates or sex.  Once you start sleeping with them and make yourself a masculine man, you’ll see the tables turn as more girls  will initiate texting with you.

Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options.  Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.

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So okay i won’t talk to her, she’s in my snapchat should i let her see my stories
Or won’t let her see anything about me just disappear untill she text me first?


Sooo, there’s this girl I like at uni.. It started by eye contact. When I look at her I sometimes find her looking at me too. few days later I add her on fb and she accepts. Next day I text her and talked abt uni and life.. was normal. I kept on always texting her 1st. sometimes she does text first. The most recent was 3 days ago after we were done with an exam.. She texted me right after we finished and asked me to come see her (at campus).. So I go and we talked face to… Read more »


Sorry for long msg, but if someone could read/possibly help out, that would be amazing. So, I’ve known her for about 2 years. She knows I liked her and wanted to talk to her, at least at the time. Ever since August, I’ve texted her a lot less in hopes that she’d text me first. Only once sometime in December (this was before I found this site) when she did msg me first, I was so excited, but kept my cool and responded to her about an hour later. Well, we texted here and there since, and I’ve noticed it’s… Read more »


Ight so i think she doesn’t like me but people tell me to just keep trying and swallow my pride but please tell it to me straight. at one point this female would text me first not all the time but I would get a text every once in a while. After a while I stopped texting her and we hadn’t spoken in months but now every month or so I’ll text her we’ll have a good conversation especially recently she will reply back with a paragraph or send 3 or 4 messages back to one of my text and… Read more »


This was a very contemporary subject for me. Rebel Jay’s article really covered in detail the exact situation and resulting issues and feelings that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve initiated 90% of the texts with a woman I’m currently interested in. Once in a while she throws me a bone and sends one out. And She always excitedly responds and does so soon after when I text her. She’s shy and kinda awkward around people. But the proof is in the pudding. She still rarely contacts me. That’s what it come downs too. And no matter how much I gloss… Read more »


And I guess I should provide some more context. I worked with her for 5 months. And I’ve known her for close to a decade. But not known her beyond the usual informal greetings at family gatherings. Or at work. She’s also my brothers sister in law. Yeah. There’s a bunch of backstory there that would affect any possibility of striking up any type of romantic relationship with this woman. So I did accept, begrudgingly to check on her pets. I felt kinda obliged because I’m going to be seeing this woman on a semi regular basis no matter what… Read more »


So with this girl we live in different countries but she is coming easily with a bus ,we met through a friend,she liked me from pictures and she came in the town where the friend and I studied to party so we can meet get to know each other etc. She did that couple of times, so we end up having a relation where we were kissing having sex sleep together whenever she was coming to town .But when she was away from town we needed to text each other in the beginning I wasthe guy who was texting first… Read more »


Ok so shes my girlfriend and ill stop texting her until she texts first but what do i say when she ask why i havent text her or if theres something wrong ?


SO i just started dating this girl a little over week ago. We met through family friends. How we got started was i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and we went on a date, then i didnt text her for a whole week after, that following saturday she texted me asking to meet up and hang out and we did and we hit it off and started dating. Well now back to the present she barely likes to text i always have to text her first and ifi dont shell go the… Read more »

Akash Chandel
Akash Chandel

I have met a russian girl on tanden, now she has given me her vk and we chat on vk(russian app) but the problem is that i always message her first , we had video calls for continuously 4 days and we are still chatting, i think i should keep messaging her for atleast 2 weeks and then stop it so that she become more familiar with me , i love her but we have just met and i do not know her feelings. I seriously live her. what should i do next ,keep in messaging her for next 2… Read more »


Hey man, there is this girl that I’m really into but I don’t have the courage to talk to her so what I do is I just text her. I’m always text her and she always replies back but I suddenly realized that if she is into me she should atleast sometimes initiate the conversation first. What should I do? I’m so confused