She Never Texts First… what this means and how to get her to text you

She never texts first

she never texts first

She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything.  Well it does.  It means you like her more than she likes you.  It means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.

It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, a friends with benefits, or a girl you’re trying to sleep with.  If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.

Lower interest

women low interest texting

When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you.  Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest.  After all, if it’s a girl you’re sleeping with or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you.  It may even be at a decent level.

But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do.  You’re in the weaker position.  It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.

You care more than her.  And therefore she has more power than you.  Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction.  And if she’s a girl you’re trying to sleep with but haven’t, then  you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.

But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!

I get this a lot from guys.  They tell me she never texts first but always replies.  The girl still acts excited when they text her.

So she likes when you text her.  So what.  I mean, that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you. It could be a lot worse.  But she never texts first so you’re still in the bad position.

She may be happy when you text her and respond well.  However you’re still constantly chasing her. You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.

Women need constant validation and attention.  So when you give it to her, this particular girl is being smart by being enthusiastic.  If she ignored you or was short in her responses then she’d lose your attention and another source of validation for her.

But if your girlfriend never texts first, then that’s a bad very sign.

What to do

habits for success - analyzing yourself

It doesn’t matter what your goal is.  Whether it’s to sleep with this girl, or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you.  Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up.  You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.

Because right now you’re being needy.  Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.

And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.

Stop texting her first

stop texting her first

You need to stop texting her first.  She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to.  And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time.

It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation.  Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in.  Instead you need to get her to chase you.  Which means stop texting her first.

If you’re sending her a

  • good morning
  • good night
  • how are you doing
  • how’s your day
  • hey there

Or whatever type of texts, cut it off.  She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you.  Instead, get on your purpose.  Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass.

  • If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
  • If it’s just some girl you’re sleeping with casually it might take her a week or a few weeks.
  • And if it’s a girl you haven’t slept with, it might take her a few weeks or even a few months.

But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first.

What if she never texts me first?

If the girl never texts you first ever, than she doesn’t have any interest in you.  A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually.  A girl you’re seeing casually should give you a text soon as well.  It might take her longer, but if you’re giving her amazing sex and a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.

The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t slept with yet.  You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now.  She might have some interest but it’s not enough to sleep with you.  And she might not ever sleep with you, or she’s messing around with another guy right now.

Either way, the right move is to stop texting her.  If she ever is done with that guy than chances are she’ll hit you up.  And if she never was going to sleep with you then you’ll never hear from her.

Stop responding right away

man looking at phone

Another thing is to stop responding right away.  When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time.  Make her wait sometimes.

I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back.  Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business.  Then you won’t have time to text her back right away.  Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.

But switch things up.

  • Respond to her after 20 minutes or a half hour.
  • Then wait 4 hours.
  • Then text her back the next day, then wait more hours.

The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes.  If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.

Woman want a man who has higher value than herself.  A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away.  He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.

Sign of a bigger issue

If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue.  And that issue is that you care more than her.  You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first.  You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.

That’s no way for a man to live.

You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship.  Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you sleep with casually, in all interactions with women you’re either the alpha or the beta.  If you’re the beta then you need her.  And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her.  But if you’re the alpha then she needs you.  And she’ll become obsessed with you.

Stop texting her first.  Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her.  If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first.  When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone.  Take your time.  Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.

Let her text you

woman happy texting man

If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless.  But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you.  Which is an amazing feeling.  You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.

Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and giving her the best sex she’s ever had, and the roles can reverse.  If she never texts first then give her the chance to.

Build up a life of your own.  Do fun things, post them on Instagram – and then get off – to show off your life.  Talk to more women if you’re single.  If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first.  Make yourself a more valuable man.

And get an abundance mindset.  If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you.  For random girls, don’t worry if this girl never texts me first.  Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about.  Hit girls up for dates or sex.  Once you start sleeping with them and make yourself a masculine man, you’ll see the tables turn as more girls  will initiate texting with you.

Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options.  Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.

143
Leave a Reply

avatar
31 Comment threads
112 Thread replies
4 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
32 Comment authors
Rebel JNonameMARTINRickyyoungpreacho Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Ahmed
Guest
Ahmed

So okay i won’t talk to her, she’s in my snapchat should i let her see my stories
Or won’t let her see anything about me just disappear untill she text me first?

Jason
Guest
Jason

Sooo, there’s this girl I like at uni.. It started by eye contact. When I look at her I sometimes find her looking at me too. few days later I add her on fb and she accepts. Next day I text her and talked abt uni and life.. was normal. I kept on always texting her 1st. sometimes she does text first. The most recent was 3 days ago after we were done with an exam.. She texted me right after we finished and asked me to come see her (at campus).. So I go and we talked face to… Read more »

Bob
Guest
Bob

Sorry for long msg, but if someone could read/possibly help out, that would be amazing. So, I’ve known her for about 2 years. She knows I liked her and wanted to talk to her, at least at the time. Ever since August, I’ve texted her a lot less in hopes that she’d text me first. Only once sometime in December (this was before I found this site) when she did msg me first, I was so excited, but kept my cool and responded to her about an hour later. Well, we texted here and there since, and I’ve noticed it’s… Read more »

Wesley
Guest
Wesley

Ight so i think she doesn’t like me but people tell me to just keep trying and swallow my pride but please tell it to me straight. at one point this female would text me first not all the time but I would get a text every once in a while. After a while I stopped texting her and we hadn’t spoken in months but now every month or so I’ll text her we’ll have a good conversation especially recently she will reply back with a paragraph or send 3 or 4 messages back to one of my text and… Read more »

TDM
Guest
TDM

This was a very contemporary subject for me. Rebel Jay’s article really covered in detail the exact situation and resulting issues and feelings that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve initiated 90% of the texts with a woman I’m currently interested in. Once in a while she throws me a bone and sends one out. And She always excitedly responds and does so soon after when I text her. She’s shy and kinda awkward around people. But the proof is in the pudding. She still rarely contacts me. That’s what it come downs too. And no matter how much I gloss… Read more »

TDM
Guest
TDM

And I guess I should provide some more context. I worked with her for 5 months. And I’ve known her for close to a decade. But not known her beyond the usual informal greetings at family gatherings. Or at work. She’s also my brothers sister in law. Yeah. There’s a bunch of backstory there that would affect any possibility of striking up any type of romantic relationship with this woman. So I did accept, begrudgingly to check on her pets. I felt kinda obliged because I’m going to be seeing this woman on a semi regular basis no matter what… Read more »

James
Guest

So with this girl we live in different countries but she is coming easily with a bus ,we met through a friend,she liked me from pictures and she came in the town where the friend and I studied to party so we can meet get to know each other etc. She did that couple of times, so we end up having a relation where we were kissing having sex sleep together whenever she was coming to town .But when she was away from town we needed to text each other in the beginning I wasthe guy who was texting first… Read more »

Alex
Guest
Alex

Ok so shes my girlfriend and ill stop texting her until she texts first but what do i say when she ask why i havent text her or if theres something wrong ?

Jay
Guest
Jay

SO i just started dating this girl a little over week ago. We met through family friends. How we got started was i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and we went on a date, then i didnt text her for a whole week after, that following saturday she texted me asking to meet up and hang out and we did and we hit it off and started dating. Well now back to the present she barely likes to text i always have to text her first and ifi dont shell go the… Read more »

Akash Chandel
Guest
Akash Chandel

I have met a russian girl on tanden, now she has given me her vk and we chat on vk(russian app) but the problem is that i always message her first , we had video calls for continuously 4 days and we are still chatting, i think i should keep messaging her for atleast 2 weeks and then stop it so that she become more familiar with me , i love her but we have just met and i do not know her feelings. I seriously live her. what should i do next ,keep in messaging her for next 2… Read more »

Mike
Guest
Mike

Hey man, there is this girl that I’m really into but I don’t have the courage to talk to her so what I do is I just text her. I’m always text her and she always replies back but I suddenly realized that if she is into me she should atleast sometimes initiate the conversation first. What should I do? I’m so confused

Daisy
Guest
Daisy

Wtf don’t wait to text her back. I stopped texting my bf first cause i got sick of having to wait for a reply

Billy
Guest
Billy

Okay I met this girl through a friend, she doesn’t live in the same state as me. So while she was here for a few weeks we would hangout, go somewhere, kiss, have sex. She would message me to come hangout or I would message her to hangout and we would go and she seemed excited to be with me she stayed at my place a couple times while see was her. I like her and she said she liked me. well ever since she went back home, I’ve been the only one to start the conversation she never started… Read more »

Matthew
Guest
Matthew

So i met this cute girl with anxiety on dating site, blank profile, got texting and to know each other a bit, then talked over text, ended up sexting, met up for a cute date, hit it off big time, went back to mine for fun. Felt like kindred spirits. Since then I arranged to meet her this weekend to hangout and play games, she was hesitant and took a day to respond, texted on and off that week. Generally I was always the one to initiate texting, but she would reply with a lot of text and seem excited.… Read more »

Dan
Guest
Dan

Hello Rebel, so I met this chick 6 months ago and from the onset, I told her I wanted to date her and she said she didn’t want anything serious. So I kept pushing, hoping I could change her mind until she told me she was in a long distance relationship, so I kinda slowed down but she already knew I had developed feelings for her, I took her on dates and they went quite well, invited her back to my place and I froze, I couldn’t make a move on her and she didn’t sleep over. All these while,… Read more »

Vimal kumar
Guest
Vimal kumar

Hi man ok I think u should help me So she joined our tution and so I talked to her in insta and we get to know each other and I was the one who starts first but she used to speak with me more enthusiast and as usual I start the conversation and so I sent her a message and nxt day mrng see replied “GM” and I saw that msg and didn’t reply instead I had my sad story posts in my insta story and she even saw my 3 sad post(sad quotes) in my story but she… Read more »

Nick Siragusa
Guest
Nick Siragusa

So we’ve been talking for about 2 months now and all of a sudden she stopped responding to me and it became to a point where she took a whole day to text back when she would usually text me all day. Now I have been showing the signs that you listed and wasn’t letting her text me first or show care in the relationship but for the past 3 days I have no answered her last text and only sent a few snaps back and forth but I also want this relationship to last. Also she did mention she’s… Read more »

John
Guest
John

Hi
There is a girl I met a few months ago. I always text her first. The last time we had a text conversation was around a month ago. What’s right to do now?
Thanks.

Cody
Guest
Cody

Hi Jay, I met this girl 8 weeks ago at a local coffee shop I always go in the morning, she was a bit shy and just started her business, I found that we have similar interests, so we exchanged IG to continue. We have hung out 3 times over the course of 4 weeks, we hold hands, made out and got really physical on the 3rd date, but no sex yet. I was hoping to meet her for the fourth time 3 weeks ago, however, since our schedules did not work, then she went home for Thanksgiving, last time… Read more »

James
Guest
James

Hey Jay, so there’s this girl I’ve been talking to on a dating app. We really have a lot in common and we’ve been texting for the past 4 days with both jokes and deep convos. However, I always have to be the one to initiate or jokingly prompt her that its her turn to choose the next topic/question. She is really engaging though, ask really deep questions, answers with lengthy detailed responses and opens up a lot about herself. I personally felt that I knew her pretty well at this point so I brought up meeting in person for… Read more »

Uko
Guest
Uko

Thanks for the article! It really helped. But the thing is that I have been dating this girl for about two weeks now. Always we only get to text each other properly around 9pm-01am otherwise, When I try to text her at midday (we primarily use WhatsApp) she leaves and and replies when I leave. What’s wrong? Please give me the cold hard truth.

Jon
Guest
Jon

Watch the reddit nice guys videos on YouTube. This should be a lesson on why over texting a girl is a bad idea. Those guys get angry and frustrated if a girl does not respond quickly or ever.Those videos have helped me to text girls less and talk to them in person. Girls are less likely to hide and pull avoidance tactics in person. I am getting too old to waiting for a girl to communicate first since girls still play the “women are passive, men make must the first move” card. I got a busy life to do than… Read more »

Abdul
Guest
Abdul

It’s been a week I haven’t texted her first.. but iam pretty much sure that she will wish me on my birthday as she views my stories..
In this case should I reply her or ignore?

Andy
Guest
Andy

Hey rebel. I’ve been talking to this girl over text for a couple days and I thought all was going well, I initiated the conversation twice and she initiated it once. (We’ve never met in person, I added her on facebook). Towards the end of out last conversation her texts where starting to become dry so I told her “I’ll let You go you probably gotta wake up early for work tommorow”. Now it’s been just over a week since we last texted because I wanted to see if she would text me first, and she didn’t. I’m still friends… Read more »

Phillip Taylor
Guest
Phillip Taylor

So there’s girl I like and I’m pretty sure she likes me to. We met at this job interview thing about a month ago and I haven’t met with her since. We got along really well each other and I felt we had something going on. We haven’t gone on any dates or anything yet because she’s always busy. What should I do?

Abdul
Guest
Abdul

Hello Rebel! I would like to thank you for giving such amazing tips and help.. yes I went no contact for more than 2 weeks .. after that I replied to her stories I don’t know but I could feel that she is doing it purposely to get my attention so that I could text her.. so I did replied her and asap ask her to meet up . I told her this weekend we should meet no more excuses.. Saturday or Sunday evening place you decide. To this she replied ok done done. Now my doubt as she agreed… Read more »

Spring
Guest
Spring

Hi, ummm….. what if I’m a girl and just trying to find out why my friends don’t text me first?? Can I still use your method on them?

Quy Nhon
Guest
Quy Nhon

Hi There Very good post and helps many I’m sure. My situation is a long distance relationship and when we meet ( I’m the guy ) we have had an extremely good time, physically and mentally, btw a tad older than your followers ( but still mixed up ) We text a lot about everything, but yes mostly me, I always start with the Good morning darling and other words ( cos of the time difference I wake up when her day is afternoon. She always texts back but noticeably lesser feelings…. me “ Good morning gorgeous x “ her… Read more »

youngpreacho
Guest
youngpreacho

Hey J, so i’ve just recently started seeing this new girl. We went out on our first date two weeks ago. Good vibes, a little kino here and there, but nothing too sexual. We had our second date this Wednesday because she spent last week away for work. We made out in the restaurant all throughout the date; in some instances she even forgot what we were talking about before the kisses. That’s all that happened that night because we went our separate ways afterwards. We both had other plans with our friends. She was very receptive the entire second… Read more »

Ricky
Guest
Ricky

Good stuff. Quick question, I met this girl out and about and got her number. I was very good about setting up 1st and 2nd date with very little conversation via text. Even when she got sick and went dark on me, I waited and eventually she followed up. Both dates went well and went back to her place for some tonsil hockey. The following day I went out of town for the holidays and international vacation on the frontend. Anyway, about a week later I reached out to set up the 3rd date to get it on the books… Read more »

MARTIN
Guest
MARTIN

Hello rebel!
There a girl I like and she knows me IAM not a stranger for her. The Problem is she never meetup and give reasons doesn’t even say no.. but keeps on flaking.
Recently I tried once again asked her to Meetup she replied
ILL INFORM ONCE ILL LEAVE FROM HER IAM IN A MEETING.. it was Sunday..
So I asked meeting on Sunday ??
She said it’s unofficial
..after that I was expecting that she will inform me but she didn’t what should I do??

Noname
Guest
Noname

Hi there. I‘ve been dating this girl six weeks now, one week ago she came to my house and I talked to her about my feelings , that I see her in a serious way and what’s her thought on that. She replied the same, had a nice but the same fucking teasing night without letting me going for more and next day she asked if I was pissed that we didn’t do anything. I told her I was not pissed about that, but for the fact that she thinks that I want her only for that. She liked my… Read more »