7 Relationship Rules every Man Needs to follow
Relationship rules, when they are of the right caliber and you stick by them, will ensure that you’ll have successful relationships with women. Being a player or dating women casually can be fun. However, at a certain point most of you will want a relationship. I’ve seen it time and time again. Guys who claim they’ll be a player forever, then 2 years later they’re getting married.
Nothing wrong with changing or with getting a relationship. 3/4 of you guys reading this are either in a relationship or deep down want to be in one. And the 1/4 will likely want a relationship at some point, given they’re able to get the kind of woman they want.
All of this is fine. Whether you want to have a family, want to build with one woman, or want to focus on your business and not chase women, it’s fine to want to be in a committed relationship.
Relationships still take work, they aren’t “game over”
The problem is when guys think that it’s “game over” and then think they can relax. But a man in a relationship is still playing the dating game. And the best way to win – to have a loving relationship with a woman who wants to be with you – is to have relationship rules. These rules will start from picking the woman you’re from how to you maintain the relationship to what you’re doing outside of the relationship.
The 7 Relationship Rules for men
These 7 relationship rules I came up with aren’t the rules you tell her in the relationship (that’s step #2). rather these are the rules you follow in order to get and maintain an exclusive relationship with a woman. If you follow them to a tee, and stay committed to the righteous path of a strong man, then you will have the best shot at a great relationship. Every single problem I’ve coached guys on with relationships involves the breaking one of these rules. If you can follow the relationship rules to a tee, you’re going to have one of these few, rare, awesome relationships with a woman you can build with.
- Pick a high quality woman
- Set standards
- Keep Accountability
- Lead and Make decisions
- Have a goal for the Relationship
- Never lose frame
- Focus on your purpose
1. Pick a high quality woman
The first relationship rule every man needs to follow is to pick a high quality woman. This is where a lot of guys already start off on the right foot. Believe it or not, picking the right woman is essential, but not do or die. You could take an okay woman, and get her to follow your program if you stuck to all of the other rules. The problem is that the guys who pick low quality women are much less likely to actually follow the other rules. The men who are willing to be patient for the right women will not only have an easier time with the rest of the rules, but due to their discipline, are also more likely to abide by them.
Regardless, a high quality woman is going to differ depending on your preferences. She can be beautiful, but it’s not all about looks.
Other characteristics I consider to make a woman of a high quality are as follows:
- prefers to be feminine
- values family
Picking women with these characteristics makes for a much easier and smoother relationship. Let me be clear about something though. Even a high quality woman is emotional and will still shit test you. She’ll still get emotional and test your boundaries, just not to the same degree. If you aren’t going to be a man and be a rock in the relationship, every woman you date will run you over.
That being said, it’s much easier to make a relationship work when you pick the right woman. If you pick a feminine woman, who values family, and hasn’t been heart broken 10 times (a few times is manageable) chances are she’s going to want to follow your lead.
2. Set standards
While picking the right woman is a critical relationship rule for any man with sense, it doesn’t stop there. Just because you pick a high quality woman, that doesn’t mean things are just going to be perfect. And if you didn’t pick a high quality woman, then this next relationship rule is even more important.
You need to set standards, aka the terms for the relationship. At this point, when she’s pushing for the relationship, you need to set the terms. Not everything can be covered here, you can check out this article I did on setting terms. In short, you basically need to tell her that you work on your business a lot and she needs to get that, you don’t tolerate certain behaviors, no hanging out / texting other men, etc. Whatever terms you want her to agree to, you need to bring up at the beginning of the relationship. The standards or terms are the relationship rules that you and her agree upon. Versus the rest of the relationship rules in this article are things you follow yourself.
If you want the relationship to be grounded in respect and understanding, then set the terms. You can’t just expect your girl to know you’re always working on your business. Be upfront and tell her that it takes a fair amount of your time. Tell her upfront if you don’t tolerate her talking to other guys. She’s not your fuckbuddy, this is your girlfriend now.
3. Keep Accountability
Keeping her accountable is so critical. It’s vital. Essential. This can also be called checking your girl. Most guys don’t do this, or they do it at first, and then stop. You also need to keep yourself accountable to the way you act as well. Assuming you can do this, I’ll spend the rest of the section on how to keep her accountable.
Checking her is when you maintain the integrity of the relationship. As I mentioned above, women will test you at some point. A high quality woman will test you less, but she’ll still test you. It’s up to you to pass the tests. You do this with small tests by ignoring them. With bigger tests, where she’s yelling at you or starting to act in a disrecptpful manner, you must check her on it. You don’t just “pull back”. This is where a lot of guys fuck up.
If your girlfriend is starting to do things that are disrespectful in a major way, you call her out for that. If she had a bad day and starts yelling or having a fit, check her. This will keep her accountable, which will maintain the respect she has for you, and will maintain the integrity of the relationship.
If you fail to do this, even a high quality woman can and will lose respect for you, and she can then do things that seem “so unlike her when we first met” or “she disguised her true personality”. No, all women can be nasty. If you keep her accountable, y0u can keep her kind and sweet. If you don’t, then she will over power you and become your worst nightmare.
4. Lead and Make decisions
If you want to be masculine and have your woman be feminine, you must lead. If you want her to remain loving towards you and want to initiate sex with you, spend time with you, and never leave you, then you must lead.
Make decisions for what you two are going to do. Say “hey let’s go here tonight” or “let’s go the beach this weekend”. Make the plans. Can your girl every have input? Sure, in fact you can give her a task. “Hey babe, let’s go on a trip to NYC. Can you look up flights and hotels for the next few months?”
Boom, now you got her involved and invested in a fun trip or weekend together.
Beta males always ask their girl “hey babe what do you want for dinner” bored girlfriend responds: “I don’t know you decide” Beta male: “Babe just decide I’ll eat whatever you want.” Bored girlfriend: “Uhmmm I’m not sure”.
See how weak that is? Don’t do that shit. Instead, make plans, make decisions, lead. If your girlfriend wants to bring up her opinion she can, but take the initiative. Most of the time, she’s going to be happy she has a strong man who follows the relationships rules laid out here versus some beta cuck who asks her opinion on everything.
5. Have a goal for the Relationship
The main goal an alpha male should have in a relationship is to have a family. If you don’t want to have a family with her, then there’s no need to be in a relationship. But if you still want a long term, committed relationship for companionship, don’t want to spread your seed so thin, etc., then that’s fine. However, you still need a goal for the relationship. Traditionally, relationships had the goal of creating a family. I know some of the older guys already have kids and just want a girlfriend to have a consistent woman and not chase ass all the time. That’s also fine. Keep in mind though that for the woman to really follow you, you need to have a goal for the relationship. Something you’re always moving towards or bettering.
For the younger guys, you don’t have to have a family right now, but that should be the goal for an alpha male. You could be out there being a player and being with all kinds of women. For you to be with one woman, she needs to be a woman that’s high enough quality that you want to have a family.
6. Never lose frame
Frame, or sometimes referred to as your masculine frame, is the way you carry yourself. Frame is essentially never being bothered. Even if you need to check your girl, you can do so firmly, but in a calm way.
You can’t ever get too mad, too sad, or too moved by anything. The most powerful of men have complete control of themselves. Betas always get emotional. They lack control over their thoughts, which therefore brings about emotions they don’t control, and then poor actions as a result.
The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.
When you have a calm mind, you see bad thoughts triggered by the outside world (like your girlfriend / wife), and you’re able to control these thoughts. You’ll still feel emotions, but they won’t be overbearing. You’ll be able to choose whether you want to embrace a specific emotion or discard it. If you master this, you’ll always have strong frame.
7. Focus on your purpose
I’ve said it before, I’m saying it again, and I’ll continue to say it. As men, we need to have a purpose. That purpose can’t just be to get a girlfriend. You need to have something that inspires you to get up and attack the day. It could be to make enough money to support your family. It could be to have enough free time for a hobby you enjoy. Or it could be to positively impact the world in some way, whether it be through a business or some activity you partake in. Since most of us haven’t inherited a lump sump of millions, the most practical purpose is a business that gives you financial freedom, and revolves around something you enjoy + believe in.
Whatever it is, you need a purpose. Even though this is the one relationship rule that seems out of place, it’s just as essential as the rest. When you become obsessed with your purpose, your women become obsessed with you. As single guys, many of us recognize this. The more we work on our purpose and don’t focus on women, the more women want to be with us. But the same thing applies to relationships. While you need to allocate some time to your girlfriend or wife for sure, you still need to be focused on your purpose. This is what will keep your ambition alive, which will keep her desire for you strong and ever growing. Having a purpose is what gives you an abundance mindset in a relationship. even though you don’t have other women, you act like you do because you’re so focused on your purpose that you’re never overthinking your relationship.
Relationship Rules ensure order
When you stick to these relationship rules that in an ideal world every man would follow, you have order. Women are chaotic by nature, and men are masculine by nature. When you have rules you follow, you bring order to a chaotic world. You’re able to pick the right woman, and then maintain the relationship. These relationship rules are simple and straightforward. But they’re absolutely necessary if you want to have a great relationship. If you want to be feminine and let her dominate you, and end up cheating on you or have her dump you, then disregard what I’ve outlined here. But if you want to have a high quality relationship with a woman that will continue to love you more and more throughout the relationship, you have the tools to make it happen.