Am I a Beta Orbiter? 3 signs you’re the beta and what to do
Worried about being a beta orbiter? This isn’t the position you want to be in.
I got an email from a guy asking if he was a beta orbiter in his scenario, so In figured I’d write an article about it. From what I can tell he was in fact a beta orbiter, but at least was able to recognize it.
A lot of the situations guys break down to me involve themselves and a girl who friend-zoned them, aka they’re a beta orbiter for her now.
What’s a beta orbiter?
A beta orbiter is a man who is used by women for attention and validation. Everyone likes validation and everyone likes sex. But women need validation more than sex, like men need sex more than validation. Women will use sex to validate themselves as attractive to high value males. Men also use sex for validation, but the main driver is for the sexual desire.
The point here is that while women will get sex from alphas, they still need attention. Once in a while a girl can get an alpha boyfriend and get just the right amount of attention to have sex and attention all together. But this usually isn’t the case. Usually the guy will give too much attention and be beta, or focus more on sex and slack in attention and be alpha.
Single women also will have a guy or few guys they fuck and many more for attention on the side.
We call these guys that get no sex beta orbiters. It’s a beta who she talks to just enough to keep him pursuing and get the attention.
Every “attention whore” is a freak for someone else.
This is why women will have multiple beta orbiters they give just enough attention to.
Don’t be one of her beta orbiters
As an alpha male, you don’t want to be a beta orbiter, you’ll just waist your time. You won’t get laid and you’ll waste you mental energy on girls who aren’t trying to fuck. You’ll be frustrated as a beta orbiter. T hat’s why I’m going to cover a few common signs that beta orbiters will experience. Then you can stop talking to the girls who aren’t down for you.
However, I’ll note that having women as social friends is different. I don’t think you can have a best-friend that’s a female. An attractive best-friend girl will make it look like you got friend zoned, and an unattractive female friend will bring down your sexual market value. However, you can benefit from being friends with groups of girls and having a social circle of girls to go out with, but that’s a different situation and for another article. Even in that case, you’re ideally already fucking one fo the girls. Anyways, back to the topic of beta orbiting.
3 signs to watch out for
- Texts but won’t go on a date
- Multiple flakes
- Won’t come to your place
1. Texts but won’t go on a date
This is one of the biggest signs you’re a beta orbiter. If you’re texting a girl and she responds but won’t ever meet up, then you’re just free attention.
While some girls will make things easy, many will play a little hard to get, which means you’ll have to have some confidence and basic game. Things like actually being busy and not texting back right away, flirting, and actually trying to meet up with her.
If you’re doing all of this and she still won’t ever meet up, then there’s a solid chance you’re a beta in her orbit for attention + validation.
An easy way to tell if you’re a beta orbiter over texting is if she never texts first. Women will respond and show some energy at first, but they will rarely text their beta orbiter first, let alone meet up.
2. Multiple flakes
Life happens and sometimes girls will flake or need to reschedule. Just like as a busy man with a purpose + social life, you’ll need to cancel dates with girls. However, the difference between a beta orbiter and a potential alpha fuck is how she handles it.
If she flakes but apologizes, gives you some notice earlier in the day, and tries to reschedule, then chances are she actually wants to meet up.
If she flakes by giving you little notice before the date, straight up ghosts you during the date, and/or doesn’t make an effort to reschedule, then she has you as a beta orbiter. And if she never hits you up again, you’re not even in orbit anymore. Which is a good thing because this low of interest means that it’s just not worth your time.
3. Won’t come to your place
The last major sign you’re a beta orbiter is if she won’t ever come to your place. This is the most common position to be in. Never meeting up or flakes means you’re a beta to her or maybe an alpha that she isn’t sure about fucking because she might be dating another guy.
But when a girl gives you enough response to meet up with you, text you regularly, yet never come over when you make moves, then you’re for sure a beta orbiter.
If you’re trying to get her to come over and she won’t, but she still get attention from you, then you’re a validation machine for her. She never comes over because she doesn’t want to fuck. Yet she hangs out with you and texts you so you continue to give her attention.
Possible to revert?
It’s possible to be an alpha, act weak, then get demoted to beta orbiter status. It’s also possible to reverse the beta position if you’re not too much of a beta.
This usually doesn’t happen. However, things aren’t always black and white. You can start off flirting and alpha with a girl, then start texting her back too quickly and turn her off a bit, and then bounce back later by acting like a man again. However, in these scenarios you were never a beta orbiter. You were a potential alpha fuck, who started to act weak, and then switched things back before she lost too much attraction.
It’s better not to ever be a beta orbiter.
Will women fuck beta orbiters?
It’s possible, but generally not. If you’re a beta orbiter right now for some girl then don’t get your hopes up. Getting your hopes up will cause you to act in a weak way that will definitely guarantee you don’t fuck this girl.
If you used to fuck her / date her, then it’s possible to reverse this as you’ve already fucked, and therefore she can be open idea to you sleeping with her again.
Especially if you fucked her well and got her addicted to you, then her getting horny + you disappearing can be enough for her to hit you up for some fun and get back in the alpha position.
Very, very low chance
However, in the majority if cases where you haven’t had her as a casual partner / girlfriend / had sex, it’s going to be low chance you ever fuck. Only if you’re a high smv man who she has some attraction to and were able to act alpha or be seen with other attractive girls would it be possible to break beta orbiter status. This can also be called a “come up”. When you rise up in life, by making dramatic changes in your body, money/career, and status, you can become a potential sex partner for girls who once had you as a beta orbiter. But with such a come up, you’d be so busy and have so many options that you wouldn’t even think to pursue this girl again unless she started chasing you.
On rare occasion, a girl will fuck a beta orbiter after a break up. But even then, they usually fuck another random alpha and use beta orbiters for attention. There may have been an alpha type guy she flirts with once in a while and then hoops up with when she’s single. This isn’t the same as being a beta orbiter.
Keys to not being a beta orbiter
You need to be a motherfuckin’ man. Here’s few more specific tips to not be a beta orbiter.
Don’t be a texting buddy
Don’t be her texting buddy. Texting is used to meet up and flirt. You can use texting to fuck new girls and to game girls that you’re already fucking. If you’re more advance that you can use texting for dirty talk. So it can be used for conversation beyond just meeting up + flirting, but this is saved for girls you’re already seeing. And even then, you want to limit your texting.
Talk to more girls
This will naturally cause you to cut off women who try to make you a beta orbiter. Because you’re talking to more women, and therefore sleeping with more, you’ll be able to decipher which girls are playing hard to get and which are just using you for validation.
Women who like you but are playing hard to get might respond slow sometimes or hold out to the 2nd or 3rd date to fuck, but they’ll flirt and still show high interest in you.
If you’re not fucking then you’re not talking
If you’re not fucking then you shouldn’t be talking. Of course you talk to new chicks, but if they’re not down for you then you need to move on to new girls. I get emails from guys saying they’ve been talking to a girl for 6 months or 9 months or a whole year, and they still haven’t fucked. Trust me, the girl doesn’t want to fuck you. If you’ve been a beta orbiter for that long you need to wake up and realize the situation you’re in.
Let the betas orbit these women
Guys, as an alpha male whose on his purpose, you don’t have time to be a beta orbiter. Your interactions with women you’re trying to fuck, whether you’re a player or even in a relationship, should involve sex. If you want to fuck her or date her, and you’re putting in the effort, but she’s not reciprocating, then you’re a beta orbiter.
Don’t have a talk with her or tell her anything weird. Just stop talking to her and pursue other women. If she hits you up in the future then you can ask her to come over, but that’s about all of the energy you should put into it.