March 23

Betaization: How to avoid turning into a beta in a relationship


Betaization: How to avoid turning into a beta in a relationship


Betaization.  Many men fall victim to this.  It will destroy their relationship.  Yet it’s preventable if they only knew how.  If you’re in a relationship with a woman, or you will ever consider one for the future, then you need to avoid betaization.

Betaization – what it is

Betaization is when a man turns into a beta male in a relationship.  Being an alpha or beta male is dependent on how you are in certain areas in your life.

For example, you can be an alpha at work if you’re the boss, but a beta in your relationship if your wife controls you.  You can also be an alpha male in your relationship but a beta male if you work a job you hate.  I want you guys to be all around alpha males.

But the main point is that most men become betas in their relationships.  Some men are betas to begin with and stay that way.  Others start off alpha but then become beta over time.  Even some of the men who were players in the past or are masculine in other areas of life lose their leadership in the relationship.

Why you need to avoid betaization at all costs

weakening of abundance mindset

You need to avoid turning into a beta in a relationship.  You need to avoid betaization at all costs.  I know a lot of you want relationships or are in one.  That’s fine, I get that not all of you want to be players.  And even the players out there want to find a relationship eventually.

If you don’t avoid betaization, then you’re putting yourself at risk for

  • a cheating girlfriend
  • being disrespected in public
  • feeling like you’re trapped in a relationship you hate
  • having no balls and no control over your life
  • losing control over your money
  • raising kids you thought were yours but aren’t
  • low self esteem and low satisfaction in life
  • inability to do what you want and live life on your terms

You need to avoid turning into a beta in your relationship at all costs.  Just like you don’t want to ever get into personal debt, you also never want to be the beta.  This means you have less power and the relationship will go downhill.

How to avoid betaization

You stop the process of becoming a beta by doing the following:

  • Avoid oneitis
  • Don’t be in a Long Distance Relationship
  • Always be improving your Value
  • Lead in the relationship
  • Keep the integrity of the relationship

Let’s break down each step so you know exactly what to do.

Avoid oneitis

curing oneitis

Oneitis is when you’re completely obsessed with a girl and think she’s the special one for you.  It’s natural that you’ll feel this if you’re in a relationship with one woman for many years.  But this will weaken you.

It will give her the edge because you’ll lose your edge.  You won’t stop her disrespect when she pushes boundaries and you will start to fail her shit tests.

Women don’t just shit test men on the first date before sex.  They continue to do it the whole time you’re in any kind of sexual relationship with them.  If you maintain your masculine frame and are quick to shut these down, then the shit tests will be few and far between.  But they’ll still come up once in a while to test your strength.

However, if you’ve developed oneitis for the girl you’re with then you’ll start to fail these tests.  You’ll lose your abundance mindset because you’ll think there’s no girl like her.  And when you start thinking that, you’re on the path to betaization.

Don’t be in a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationships shouldn’t be something you’d consider.  They don’t work out and there’s a reason they don’t.

One of you is bound to cheat.  It could be your girlfriend, or it could be you, especially if you’ve been a player before.  Plus, it’s no way to have a real relationship.  You’re not going to be able to give your girl amazing sex and keep her addicted to you.  You’re also not going to be able to manage the relationship properly.  It’s much harder to make your masculine presence felt when you’re not there in person.

Some of the most masculine men in the world – like military men deployed in war zones or prison convicts stuck behind bars, are essentially in long distance relationships.  And they usually get cheated on due to circumstances they can’t control in the positions they’re in.

This can lead even the most masculine of men, who have no other dating options in their situation, to feel extremely scarce with their relationship and cause betaization to happen.

If you Live with your girlfriend – don’t always be around

have your own place

I understand that many of you will live with girlfriends or wives.  For every player on here, there’s 10 guys who have a girlfriend or whose married.  And that’s cool.  If you’re a relationship type guy, or even if you’re a player, chances are you’re going to have a woman you’re close with at some point in time.

It’s not that you can’t live with a woman.  If you plan on having kids with 1 woman and have a family, chances are high you’ll live together.  However, there are couples who will live together and do it right, and those that live together and do it wrong.

If you want to do it right, you avoid betaization.  How do you do this?  You can’t always be around.  Nothing will make you more beta than lounging around with your woman all day doing nothin.  Instead, get outside the house when you can.  Go to the gym, go for a walk, etc.

Or better, yet, have the money to have a good sized place.  If you have a big house, you can have time away from your woman without having to leave the house or feel like you have to run game.  Instead, you can still have an authentic relationship with the realization that two people still need their own space.m

Always be improving your Value

It’s easy to have extreme confidence when you know you have options.  Having a past as a player helps with that.

But regardless of your past, a man whose always increasing his value can’t fall into betaization.

Raising your value will give you more options in the dating market.

But it’s not just about that.  This doesn’t mean you need to exercise this and cheat on your woman. However, a man or woman who knows they can get someone else if need be won’t be desperate to bow down to someone.

This ability to walk away is ironically the thing that will not only keep your relationship alive.  But it will also keep you as the alpha male.

You can keep your outer value high by getting more money and status, lifting weights, and keeping your style on point.  However, the best value to build is your masculinity, or inner value.  You do this by following your purpose, which will also happen to generate money and status for you in a natural way.

Lead in the relationship

man becoming leader in relationship

The definition of a beta is essentially the one who follows.  The alpha is the one who leads.  In relationships, whoever leads more than 50% of the time is the alpha.  You may be a super alpha and lead 80 or 90% of the time.  Maybe you lead 70% of the time like a normal alpha.  Or maybe it’s just 55% and you’re slightly the alpha.  I recommend at least 60%, because under that is the danger zone.

But regardless, you need to be the leader in order to be the alpha.  There’s no equality in relationships.  I believe every human is equal in terms of that we’re all alive and deserve life.

However, when it comes to power dynamics in relationships, there’s no 50/50.  Maybe with your boys you’re all similar and the differences in whose alpha is small to none.  But even that isn’t common.

When it comes to your relationship with a woman, it’s you or it’s her.  And she wants you to be the leader.  But she’ll challenge your leadership if you show weakness.  What you need to do is be decisive, be clear, and make it known you’re the boss.  You don’t do this by saying “I’m the boss of you”.  Rather you make the plans for when you two hang out, take the lead when she can’t make up her kind, and are always steps ahead in terms of the relationship.

If you can be the leader in the relationship then you’ll completely avoid betaization.

Keep the relationship accountable 

This is part of being a leader but it deserves extra focus.  You need to stand up to your woman when necessary.  If you’re a strong leader then you won’t have to do this often.

But from time to time, she’ll question and test your leadership.  She’ll test to see how strong you are.

  • By starting fights
  • Making a big deal out of something small
  • And even withholding sex

It’s up to you to check her on her behavior.   You don’t need to yell.   Make it clear what you tolerate and what you don’t.  Women want you to check them and keep them accountable for holding up their end of the relationship.  Does this mean you’re perfect?  No, nobody is.  Keep her accountable, and keep yourself accountable as well.

Never lay your hands on a woman or use your physical strength.  This can get you in trouble with the law, and it’s also weak game.  It shows she can cause you to lose control.

Instead, just calmly bur firmly address her when she’s being disrespectful or has made a mistake.  Again, she wants you to do this.  To her, this shows you actually value the integrity of the relationship and respect what you two have enough in order to put the effort in to make sure it stays healthy.

The Game is never over

player smile

The game isn’t over until you’re dead.  Life is a game, and you must be a player in the game of life.  Even the dating game still goes on until you’re dead.  Whether you’re in a relationship or seeing multiple women, you’re in the game.

There are periods of your life where you may want to go monk mode.  But masculine men are going to want to indulge with women in their life.  And with today’s society not supporting masculinity, you need to do everything you can to guard the man.

The game isn’t over.  If you stop gaming your girlfriend or wife, then you’re headed for a bad break up.  Fuck that.  Stay masculine.  Give her great sex.  no

Avoid betaization.  Focus on your purpose, lead her, keep the integrity of the relationship by keeping each other accountable , and always play the game until your last breath.


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