Exclusive relationships vs being single: What’s the best path?
Should you be in an exclusive relationships or spend your time being single? There’s benefits to both, and depending on where you are in life you might prefer one option to the other. As a man, you’re dating life should never be your first priority. You should be focused on building a business, making money, pursuing your passions, and if you have kids raising them to the best of your ability.
That being said, relationships with women are still going to be a big part of your life. Whether you’re in an exclusive relationship or you’re dating lots of women will determine how you spend a large chunk of your free time. That’s why it’s important for you to actively decide what’s best for you based on what you value so you can derive the most joy as possible from your interactions with women.
Benefits of relationships
Coming from the guy who tells you how to get laid and become really good at sex, I actually value exclusive relationships as well.
And there’s a lot you can get out of one if you do it correctly. When you choose a high quality girl as a girlfriend and maintain your position as leader in the relationship, you’re able to see lots of great benefits.
And those benefits of exclusive relationships include:
- not always having to chase pussy
- consistent and better sex
- ideal for having kids or raising a family
- more focus on purpose (if you’re in the right relationship)
1. Not always having to chase pussy
When you have a girlfriend you don’t always need to chase pussy. You’ll spend time with her outside of sex. But if you set boundaries and stay on your path, you can actually save a lot of time that you would’ve otherwise chased pussy. If you’re single and sleeping with 3-4 girls, you have to maintain mini relationships with each one. You also need to be meeting new girls and be building your pipeline for when one of your regulars gets burned out.
It takes a lot of work to be a player. When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you only have to put attention on one girl. Granted, you’re putting more attention on her and still need to put some time in. But it’s a lot less to keep track of and therefore easier to manage.
2. Consistent and better sex
Even when you get really good at sex and can fuck any woman properly, the best sex you’ll have will generally be with girlfriends. Because you get so in tune with each other, you’ll be able to have amazing sex and have it consistently. While a single player can potentially get the most sex, the majority of men aren’t players. And even then, the majority of players can only keep up a large rotation of women for so long. Unless you’re a millionaire and set for life, eventually you get tired and need to cut down to a few girls so you can keep your money right.
For the average and even above average guy, you’re going to get more sex in a relationship. This can dwindle down over time, but you can keep it alive with healthy dread game and in general maintaining your masculinity.
3. Ideal for having kids or raising a family
If you’re going to have kids and raise a family, you’re better off in an exclusive relationship with the mother. It doesn’t always work out like that in today’s age, so you can still be a good father without that. But we’d be fooling ourselves if we didn’t admit that kids are happier when both parents are present in their lives and together.
Getting married shouldn’t be an option for you guys. So you’ll need to either have some agreement in place or just have kids with a girlfriend without tying the knot.
But even if things go wrong and you end up paying child support, you at least gave it the best shot for your kids. And child support alone is still cheaper than child support + have your net worth + alimony that your ex wife will get in the divorce.
4. More focus on purpose – if you’re in the right relationship
The key is maintaining your masculinity in the relationship. When you do this, stay busy, and stay focused on your purpose, you’re able to really shine. When you screen for the right girlfriend, she’ll be supportive and actually encourage you as you pursue your purpose.
behind every great man there’s a great woman
And this is oftentimes true. No, not every time. There are plenty of women that drag men down and you don’t need a woman to make you great.
But if you have an ultra supportive, feminine girlfriend who builds you up, then you’ll have a big advantage in pursuing your purpose over players and guys with no women. There’s a reason many athletes and successful businessmen are in relationships. It’s because a nurturing woman can help to comfort you when things are hard and inspire you to do great things.
Of course you still need to be extremely masculine for the woman to stick around when you’re not successful. But there’s no doubt that a feminine woman can be an oasis of restoration for a man who is making his way through the desert on the path to success.
This is an extremely powerful benefit of being in an exclusive relationship. That being said, the majority of women won’t empower you or inspire you to greatness. And it’s not always the 9’s or 10’s who are going to do it either. It takes a feminine women who sees the ambition in you. Oftentimes it’s a 6, 7, or maybe an 8. You can look at Lebron James, Stephen Curry, or Conor McGregor.
All have wives that are not 9’s or 10’s. But they had feminine women who supported them on their path – although things may be changing with Steph’s wife as she acts out for attention. That’s for another article though.
Benefits of being single
All of this being said, I’ve also been a player and have had fun in the dating game. Exclusive relationships can be great, but they also take a lot of work and can be the downfall of many men when they go bad.
When you’re single, you’re able t0 change your life and do things you want with no pushback from anyone else.
Being single had many benefits like:
- less drama and more leverage
- flexible lifestyle
- more time for hobbies and hanging out with the bros
- more focus on purpose – if you’re balanced
1. Less drama and more leverage
When you’re single, you have less drama and more leverage with women. You might have a little bit of drama from women you see. But this will be limited because none of them are your girlfriend/wife. When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you are forced to put up with drama from time to time. And when you aren’t masculine enough, this drama will happen more and more often.
But when you’re single, you’ll find yourself with way less drama. You don’t have to deal with things because you have the leverage.
If one of the girls starts giving you more attitude or drama, you can cut her off and never look back. When you’re dealing with women, there’s going to be some drama you have to endure. It’s much easier to deal with the little things when you’re single. In a relationship, you only have that one woman.
2. Flexible lifestyle
Which brings us to the next benefit of being single. A flexible lifestyle. Whether you want to see a bunch of women, just a few, or even none at all, being single gives you the flexibility to do what you want. You can travel where you want to travel, eat what you want to eat, whatever you decide to do.
You’ll rarely get caught up in one girl who never texts you first or if some girl is losing attraction for you because you’ll actually get to enjoy your lifestyle. Seeing different girls or even doing monk mode and not chasing ass allows you to have a lifestyle that you completely own. Or at least more flexible than before. If you still have a job you hate then you need to start your own business before you’re truly in control.
A masculine man will still do what he wants in an exclusive relationship, but he’s limited in his lifestyle choices. Being single allows you to customize the way you live however you like.
3. More time for hobbies and hanging out with the bros
When you’re not tied down to one girl, you have way more time to do the things you want to do. Whether you want to spend more time on a martial art, learning how to dance, or just hanging out with the bros, being single let’s you do what you’re passionate about.
It’s much easier to cancel a date with a girl you’ve seen a few times so you can hang out with your bros versus flaking out on your girlfriend of 4 years to do the same thing. Being single will allow you to have the time do go out with your friends and do the things you’ve always wanted.
5. More focus on purpose if you’re not always chasing women, being balanced
For many men, being single lets them have more time to focus on their purpose.
Now this was also a benefit for being in an exclusive relationship. If you’re in the right relationship, then a woman can be a massive support for you. However, many men have trouble finding a woman like that, aren’t masculine enough to keep women feminine, or just don’t have time to find the perfect girl right now.
There are also tons of men who get in relationships with women that drag them down on their path to success.
That’s why being single can be a fantastic time for you to focus on your purpose. You have no other obligations or worries. If you have the discipline to not chase women – then being single can be great for building your business. After all, it can take a few years of grinding 70 or 80 hour weeks with working + your side business before you can start to have a normal life. A lot of exclusive relationships can’t last this kid of stress. Being single may be the time for you to work on achieving financial freedom.
What’s right for you?
Some men are “relationship guys” and spend their whole adult life in a few relationships.
Other guys are eternal bachelors, with a relationship or two in the mix but largely single.
Most men are somewhere in between. We range from being in a long term relationship, to being single and seeing a few girls, to then being in another exclusive relationship.
There’s never a perfect answer. It’s good to have a relationship or two when you’re young so you can see how you are in one. You can also see on what you need to work on to be a better leader in the relationship. And it’s also important that you know how to be single. That way you’ll never depend on a girl for happiness and you’ll have high standards.
Then when you’re older you can decide on remaining as a bachelor or taking up relationships if they are in line with what you want.
The grass is always greener
Being single and meeting new girls all the time can be tiring. An exclusive relationship can seem appealing because there’s only one girl you need to talk to and lead. And when you’re in a relationship, the thought of being single with no commitment can sound appealing.
It’s best to experience both and see what’s right for you. Have a long relationship or two and also make time to be single. If you can do this all in your 20’s, then by the time you hit your 30’s you’ll know how to do both effectively. You’ll realize what type of man you are and what makes you happy. That may be having a solid girlfriend, it maybe being single forever, or more likely it will depend on the stage of your life.
Understanding when you to be single and when to have an exclusive relationship will allow you to experience both lifestyles in a complete way. Just realize that while whatever you don’t have might seem better, it’s up to you to fully enjoy the situation you decided to put yourself in. Then when it’s time to be single or time for a more serious relationship, you’ll be able to make the change that’s needed without having regrets.