Fulfillment over Pleasure
Fulfillment needs to be your main focus. Pleasure is a part of life, but it can’t be the thing you chase or look forward to. Most guys like a life where they have no fulfillment, and therefore seek out short term pleasures to give them something to get excited about.
Most guys can’t even get the highest quality of pleasure they want. Which would be the hottest women or highest quality woman / the best food / the best alcohol, and whatever kind of experiences they want.
So they settle for women or a woman they don’t really like, or even worse, porn, alcohol, drugs, and / or whatever is their particular vice.
Living for pleasure is a terrible way to live. If most people understood this, they’d start living for fulfillment, and the course of their lives would change dramatically.
Pleasure vs Fulfillment
The difference in pleasure and fulfillment is simple.
Pleasure may lead to regret.
Fulfillment never leads to regret.
Pleasure is about getting a fix.
Fulfillment is about progress. It’s about meaning and purpose. When you’re satisfied with how far you’ve come, and the strides you continue to make. As men, the masculine embodiment of life energy, our main goal is to build, create, and progress. Our individual ideas and preferences are what set us on our different paths.
Fulfillment is a steady high, it doesn’t have a comedown because it’s not a bodily feeling. It can give you a sense of peace and even bliss. But it’s not a dopamine buzz. You may and will feel satisfied. But you’re not getting overly excited or depressed. You’re consistently working hard and yet you’re at peace. Therefore the law of polarity doesn’t come into effect.
However, pleasure is not the same. Pleasure is a short term fix. Pleasure is a bodily feeling. It’s also comes with an emotion that has a “high”, and therefore you have a crash. Pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin.
Fulfillment and Emptiness
The opposite of fulfillment is emptiness. Not emptiness in the sense of regret. But emptiness in the sense of not being or needing anything.
When you’re working toward your purpose, you become nobody.
When I write these articles or do videos, even if I draw on my life experience, I forget about the story of myself.
When you work on your purpose, you’ll feel fulfilled and empty at the same time. Because all of the baggage of your life is gone. You forget your own identity because you’re so involved in your work. You become empty. That’s why people say find something you love so you’ll “lose yourself in your work”.
When someone feels “empty” after drinking or meaningless sex or beating off, they’re not really feeling empty. What they’re feeling is drained. Drained of their life force energy. And filled with chaotic thoughts or chaotic energy.
Emptiness is key to Flow
But true emptiness isn’t being drained from over-indulgence in pleasures. True emptiness is when you’re devoid of everything that separates you from the flow. The flow of life, or being in the zone, is when you’re so empty of your own bullshit that you’re in tune with the universe.
The path to complete emptiness is getting into the zone. You get into the zone by pursing your purpose, which will fulfill you and empty you at the same time.
Fulfillment and emptiness are two sides of the same coin, and that’s the coin you want to use as currency in the game of life.
Pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin, and that’s not the coin of choice to use in this world. Yes it’s a part of life. But you want to minimize seeking pleasure for pleasure’s sake.
Moderation in Pleasure Reduces the Chaos
You can have some pleasure in life, I’m not saying you can’t have any. But it needs to be in moderation. Moderate pleasure means moderate pain. The highs won’t being you too high and therefore the lows won’t bring you too low.
Pleasure like sexual indulgence, alcohol / drugs, processed (unnatural) foods, video games, and so on.
These are all pleasurable things. In moderation they add some excitement to your life and that’s fine. Just make sure not to indulge in them.
If you’re single retain your seed.
If you’re dating different women, less is more and quality is key over quantity. Meaning don’t just try to sleep with as many women as possible, this will lead to the pain. Pain in this case can simply be the lack of energy and time from chasing or dealing with so many women.
If you have a girlfriend or wife, then you can have a great relationship, love her, and have respect for her, but don’t make her your purpose. Keep your purpose as the main focus in your life, and then you can enjoy the relationship, and lead it effectively, without you letting your emotions override your logic.
Fulfillment needs to be the thing you’re constantly striving towards
Not a chase, chasing belongs to a desperation for pleasures.
But fulfillment comes with striving towards something great. What that is, what you decide to make your purpose is up to you. All of our overall purpose is the same. To do something we enjoy that we can use / do to help others in a positive way. That can be helping a few people greatly or many people a little.
The specific avenue you choose is up to you. But always put your fulfillment over your pleasure. You’ll not only have a more fulfilling life, but the pleasures you desire will be attracted to you, and will be available to you, with little effort of your own. The man who chases pleasure has to work hard to get less, and therefore he has lower quality pleasures, more intense pain, and no fulfillment.