April 1

Giving a Girl Space Without Losing Her


Giving a Girl Space Without Losing Her

giving a girl space

Giving a girl space is something every man needs to learn how to do.  Whether she’s your girlfriend or a girl you see casually, you’ll need to give a girl space from time to time.  This doesn’t mean you need to verbally tell her “I’m giving you space”.  Rather it’s about pulling back your attention and effort levels.

It seems like it’s the wrong thing to do if you want to keep a girl interested.  But it’s actually needed from time to time if you want to keep a woman in her feminine position.  Most guys get scared of giving a girl space because the fear of losing her is too great for them to actually do it.

But if you don’t give a girl space occasionally, she’ll give herself space.  She’ll distance herself, pull back her attention, and you’ll become even more beta if you already have oneitis for her.  Most men chase women harder when the girl start to pull back.

You need to counter this by giving a girl space and let her miss you.

You can always lose a girl

man leaving house - dread game

I’m going to implant in your head that you can always lose a girl.  A man who thinks like a pimp knows that 1 is too close to none.  But even if you have a girlfriend, you need to have a wife.  Not a real wife, because marriage can screw you over.  But a purpose.  Your purpose is a business that brings you fulfillment, money, status, and everything you want out of life.

And when you have a purpose it’s much easier to just look at your dating life as a fun thing on the side.

You can always lose any particular girl.  Whether she’s your girlfriend or a girl you see once a week for sex, there’s always the possibility of her leaving.

That’s okay.  She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.  Your turn may be the rest of your life, or it may be over later today.

This mindset will give you the best chance to be the leader in the relationship, whatever type of relationship it is, or move on when the time is right.

You can’t control a woman.  You can become amazing at sex and get her addicted to you.  Leading the relationships you partake in will also make it much harder for a woman to leave.  But life happens.  One of you might get bored, move somewhere else, or eventually die.

If you accept that she’s not yours, it’s just your turn, then you’ll be able to have an abundance mindset with women.  You’ll be able to see that you can always lose a girl.  Then giving a girl space becomes 100x easier.

Why giving a girl space is important

Girls need space because they”

  • need to miss you
  • love a challenge
  • only attracted to men she perceives as higher value than herself

Need to miss you

She needs to miss you.  Giving a girl space will give her time to think about you.  She’ll wonder what you’re doing, if you met someone more attractive than her, or if you’re having fun without her.  If you’re masculine around her then she’ll miss your masculine energy.  She’ll start to think of you as even better than you actually are due to your absence.

And this goes for girlfriends and casual girls.  Any interaction you have with a girl is some kind of relationship.  This advice applies to girlfriends just as well as it applies to fuckbuddies.

Women love a challenge

women love a challenge, man ignoring woman

Women love a challenge.  And in fact they crave one.  Giving her space allows her to arise to the challenge of capturing your attention.  When you’re not in her face all the time she’ll realize.  In fact, she’ll even take notice when you pull back in small ways.

Any girl can fuck as many guys as she wanted if she so chooses.  But women aren’t like guys.  Otherwise everyone would be fucking all the time.

Women like to go after the guys that are challenging.  The game isn’t over just because she’s your girlfriend or you fucked a few times.  The game is still alive and going.  Giving a girl space will allow her to feel like she needs to work more to get your attention.

Only attracted to men she perceives as higher value than herself

how to be a player - build a pipeline

Girls like guys who they view has high sexual market value in comparison to themselves.  It can be because of looks, money, status, or even just masculine energy.  A man with high value as high quality women available to him.  Therefore he’s able to give a girl space.

If you aren’t able to give a girl space then you’re commuting to her that you’re lower value than she is.  Which will turn her off to you.

Men don’t operate the same way.  If a 9 or 10 starts to get in our face too much we may pull back a little bit.  But it won’t be too long before we text her to come over to fuck.  But women aren’t the same way.  If giving a girl space is too hard because you’re scared of losing her, then it’s only a matter of time before you do lose her.

How to give a girl space

This applies to girlfriends, girls you’ve been fucking consistently, or a girl you just started sleeping with.  Knowing how to give a girl space can differ on the exact situation, but includes things like:

  • Don’t initiate texting
  • Take longer to respond
  • Become less available
  • Don’t like her social media posts (or view her instagram stories)
  • Work on your purpose


how to text a girl, man texting

Texting is a big part of communication in today’s age.  Which is why knowing how to text a girl is so important.  Texting is used to coordinate logistics and flirt.  If you start to see a girl more or if she’s your girlfriend then texting throughout the week is also means of updating each other.

Giving a girl space while texting requires you do just the opposite.  Text less.  Don’t initiate texts and take longer to respond.  Let’s say you and your girlfriend say good morning to each other everyday.  But you’re feeling that she is starting to lose a little bit of interest or is pulling back.

This is the perfect opportunity to give her space.  Don’t initiate texting for a few days.  Still respond and engage, but take a little bit longer too.

She’ll be able to feel you pulling back.  If she questions you about it, divert and say you were busy working on your business.  Which should be true anyways.  You need to let her text you first.

You can apply this to a girl you see casually as well.  If you two text each other every few days, take some time off from texting her.  Wait until the end of the day to text her back.  It’s not about being malicious or nasty.  You’re still cool and confident.  Giving her space is about letting her breathe.  It’s letting her think about you and what you’re doing.

Become less available and work on your purpose

power in a relationship, focus on purpose

Become less available.  That’s what giving a girl space is all about.  What you’re not doing is blocking her or avoiding her completely.  If she wants to hang out for some fun then you’re down.  But you’re a busy man on your purpose.

If it’s usually you who asks to hang out then stop asking.  For women you see casually, cancel the next time you two are going to meet up.  Now, I might approach this differently with a girlfriend.  I’d still go on dates with my girlfriend and sleep with her, but I’m going to be less available to talk on the phone and less available to always go out with her.

And I’m not going to be  at home playing video games or jerking off.  Instead I’m going to be working on my business.  Building that wealth.

Don’t become too unavailable to the point where you aren’t hanging out with the girls.   Because at that point they’ll eventually give up on chasing you.

Hot and cold

increase your notch count

It’s about being hot and cold.  If you’re just cold all the time then the girls will move on.  Girls you see casually will disappear.  And girlfriends will either begin to monkey branch, break up with you, or just become negative towards you since you’re not giving them any attention.

The key to giving a girl space, or being a little cold, is to balance it with being hot.  You need to learn how to give a girl space without ignoring her completely.

Once you get the desired result of her chasing you more, then you can be hot.  You can take that literally and have hot sex with her.  Take her out on a fun date.  Talk more with her.

Then pull back a little bit.  And then hot again.  Do this until it tapers off.  A few months down the road when it’s time to give her space you can rinse and repeat.

Like most of you, I’d rather just be consistent all the time.  But guess what?  Girls get bored of that.  Some girls want a ton of drama and turmoil in their lives.  But even girls without daddy issues and who seem functioning still want some excitement in their life.

If she’s your girlfriend then you can’t be complacent.  Even if she’s not your girlfriend, you still need to give her space.  Then you can be hot with her.  Then cold.  And then go back to seemingly normal, before being cold + hot later.

What if I lose her?

don draper - waiting until you're older to have kids

If a girl is really into you then you won’t lose her by giving her space.  And it can seem counter intuitive to need to figure out how to give someone space without losing them.  For men with girlfriends, giving a girl space can only backfire if she’s already cheating on you or if you give her too much space and cut her off completely.  A cheater will use this as an opportunity to get more attached to the other guys they’re seeing.

You still need to hang out with her, fuck her properly, and give some attention.  Make her work for it though.

For guys who are seeing these women casually, losing her is more likely.  But you’re always going to have girls that fall off of the team.  By not giving a girl space, I can guarantee that losing her will happen in a matter of time.  You’re smoothing of a girl that isn’t even your girlfriend will always end up with her getting bored of you.

If you don ‘t plan on making her your girlfriend you’ll lose her eventually.  Giving a girl space every so often is necessary for keeping her into for the long run.  It’s an art, but as you casually + seriously date women, you’ll be able to improve your ability to give her space and therefore get more sex, affection, and love from women.


give a girl space, giving a girl space, giving a girl space without losing her, losing her, without losing her

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3 years ago

Having watched the r/niceguy videos of guys who violate the space rule, constantly text girls, and get angry when she responds with a busy excuse or does not respond at all, has made not want to text girls as often as I used to do. I wanted girl’s attention so badly and thought not giving enough attention meant I was an uncaring jerk. I learned about having a phone detox and helped me greatly with not texting a lot. I give a phone a break and go do stuff. I do not get anxious anymore if someone especially girls do… Read more »

2 years ago

what this is saying is true, I am in the process of losing my wife, for the past few years she has been going through some sort of crisis and was looking for freedom and excitement. I was under the impression that I needed to be more supportive by that I mean be more available, which was the opposite of what she needed. I smothered her in love and affection which drover further away from me. It has now got to the point were I cant turn things around, Unless you know better.

Reply to  Rebellious Development
2 years ago

SORRY, I have lost my wife, she broke off our relationship back in September 2019, she asked for space and a separation, I thought it was a crisis she was going through and yes she was going through a crisis, but I thought it was something that were I needed to around for her, I couldnt see how much she was feeling smothered by my support,trapped. A dear friend of mine kept telling me to stick with it and stand by her while she is going through this but things didnt get any better between us, so after a few… Read more »

Reply to  pork.4
2 years ago

Honestly bro, forget about her. Move on and become a better version of yourself not for her on anyone else. Do it for you. You’ll be happier. Fuck these dumb bitches dude straight up. Keep your head up high King

Last edited 2 years ago by Danger
2 years ago

This is the best article I have ever read about giving girls some space. I’m feeling so enthralled. There is this girl who initiated contact,it was glaring she liked me. She flirts too but it got to a point she started taking my attention for granted. I’m glad I’ll be able to give her some space without ignoring her completely after reading this. Hats off

2 years ago

Bud what a great article and just at the right time for me to read it, my girlfriend and i have been dating for around a year, and we have been chatting to live together for a while but every so often she tells me that she needs space and that she needs time to think about what she wants. Now right before we were supposed to move in together she said that its too much for her and she needs to think what she wants in life and now is living alone again. This would make me wonder what… Read more »

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