Habits to Build Confidence and Develop your Self Esteem
Forming habits to build confidence will make you into the man you want to be. Confidence is everything. Yet it’s nothing. It’s everything when you have it for real. And when you don’t have it, it feels like it’s a made up illusion. Some people think confidence doesn’t matter or that it won’t impact the quality of your life or the results you get.
But it absolutely does.
When you form habits to build confidence, you unlock your true potential. Because a confident man is an unstoppable men. True confidence will help you to succeed in business, with dating women, with your fitness, achieving the life you want, and your overall day to day, minute to minute, and second to second feelings you have.
You’re happy when you know how to build confidence and self esteem. And you simply preform better. You’re going to have a much higher chance of meeting new, beautiful women when you have confidence. You’re going to be able to charm them and if you can’t, you know there’s a million other girls who want you. A confident man is able to maintain his relationship, lead it correctly, and walk away when need be.
He pushes himself to go the gym and keep his body in the best shape. And he goes hard on his business or at his job each day. A confident man knows his worth.
What is self confidence exactly?
Self confidence or what I’ll simply refer to as confidence is when you feel good about yourself and your ability to do something. Competence is when you’re capable. Generally the more capable or competent you become, the more confident you are as well. Learning how to be a confident person involves you going after the things you want. When you get them you become confident because you’ve seen your success. But even before you get them, even seeing progress can build confidence.
What is self esteem?
Knowing how to grow confidence in different areas of your life will build your overall self esteem, which is how you feel about yourself in general. It simply feels good to build confidence and rise up in your life.
What if you’re not a confident motherfucker?
This all sounds great. But what if you’re not that motherfucker right now. What if you don’t feel like that?
That’s okay. You can form habits to build confidence. If you reverse engineer what a confident man does, and then do those things, you’ll become a confident man. And then some. Since you’re actually putting in effort towards building confidence, you’ll have the potential to be one of the most powerful men around. Most men who posses confidence are unconsciously confident. Meaning they feel good about themselves in a certain area, or just overall, but they’re not actively aware of that.
While that’s great, these men are bound to lose their self worth if those areas slip due to their own laziness or some accident that prevents them form doing what they did before.
But if you actively work to create habits to build confidence, you can grow your self worth in a conscious way. Which is the most powerful way to do it, like anything else.
So enough with the hype of building confidence. Let’s discuss how to build it.
1. Lifting weights + looking good
If there’s a confidence checklist, then listing weights + being in shape should be at the top. You can build confidence for today by starting out at the gym and hitting the iron.
Every man should be lifting weights. I don’t care if you do it 5-6 times a week or 3-4 times a week. Adding on muscle is one of the best habits to build confidence. You become physically stronger and sexually more attractive.
Combine lifting weights with some cardio + clean diet, and you’re going to have a body game that turns women on.
You know what goes well with a great body? A decent haircut, hygiene, and clothes. When you get your body and style on point, and you smell good, you’re going to have a sex appeal about you. Women will find you more attractive and you’ll become more confident. Therefore your own self esteem will rise. You’re simply going to feel better about yourself.
This translates into more dating options and even better treatment by other people. Other men will give you more respect when you’re in shape. You’ll feel better as well and preform better at work.
Of course you still need to work on other aspects of yourself. But there’s no reason that all of you shouldn’t have incredible bodies. This makes the dating game that much easier and carries over into other areas of your life. Plus even if you have a girlfriend or you’re in monk mode, a high value man likes to keep himself looking good anyways. He likes to lift weights, eat well, and dress like a boss. Because he’s a boss.
Now if you want to become that boss, you need to form habits to build confidence. Lifting weights and doing the other things to be healthy + look good is an absolute essential.
2. Putting in work – job or own business
A man needs to put in a good days worth of work to feel accomplished. One of the best self confidence exercises is simply to grind towards your purpose. Confidence can be improved by putting in the work consistently. There’s a high correlation with men who are disciplined and those who have built confidence in themselves.
Ideally you have your own business which involves something you love, something you’re good at, and a ways to make you money. This is how you create a purpose that brings you financial freedom.
But whether that’s the case or you have a job, you need to put in work. Work a full day at your job and then come home and do a few hours on your business. Or just work at your job hard if you don’t plan on starting a business. Or better yet you have a business and put in a good days work.
You just need to grind. Want to know how to build confidence at work? Work more and get good at your job. Want to build overall confidence as a man? Then start your own business on the side. When you put in the time, you’r not only going to increase the number in your bank account, you’re going to build respect for yourself.
Whatever the situation is depends on your goals and where you’re going. But a man needs to put in the work. That makes us feel confident. We know we’re putting in effort into something that’s bringing us wealth and is going to pay off in the long run. This gives us a sense of progress.
This same feeling is extended if you’re working on your own business full time or building it up on the side.
A man needs to work
Putting in the work is one of the best habits to build confidence in a man. You know that the hours you’re putting in are going to pay you now and/or in the future.
When you don’t put in the work, you feel like shit because you know you’re selling yourself short. You create more problems for your future self when you’re lazy and fall behind. Wasting time is a sin against yourself and you know it. Especially if you’re a man with ambition. That’s why you hate wasting time and not getting shit done.
At the same time, building confidence is easy when you realize you just need to put in the work. When you’re making sure your money is in a good position, you’re going to feel good about yourself.
3. Date high quality women
We all like doing well with women. When you start to date the women you actually want to be around, you’re going to feel more confident.
Building confidence requires that you are doing things that you want to do or getting the things you want to get. You may not be super confident at first. But when you put in the effort consistently, you will develop the habits to build confidence over time.
Dating can be a big area in a man’s life and a major source or lack thereof regarding his confidence levels. If you can’t date any women, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. If you can date some women or get a girlfriend, then you might feel a bit better.
But dating the women you actually want is one of the best habits to build confidence. It’s better to date high quality women or have a girlfriend you actually want than to date women you don’t want. It’s unfair to yourself and the women you date if you don’t want to be around them.
A man must be able to stand on his own. And if you can do that, then you’ll also develop the confidence to date the women you really want. In fact, the most common way young men in particular learn how to gain confidence quickly is by experiencing success with women. It is after all hard wired into us to compete to get the women we want.
4. Becoming great at sex
Most men want to have sex. And when they finally do that, they feel good for a while.
But too many guys lose confidence in relationships or with girls they’re dating because of a lack of bedroom skills. They get oneitis for the girl or just lose control of the relationship and feel insecure. Which leads to needy behavior and betaization.
One of the best habits to build confidence with women, knowing you can fuck well. No, it”s not everything in a relationship with your girlfriend / wife or even some girl you’re dating. But it’s still something you should be good at. And if you are good at pleasuring your woman, you’re going to develop the confidence of a man with sex appeal.
I’m not saying you should just try to sleep with as many women as possible. But when you’re with a woman, whether she’s your girlfriend, wife, or just a girl you’re dating, you should be able to make it pleasurable for her. When you’re able to do this, you’ll be building confidence that won’t easily fade.
5. Dressing well
An easy way to learn how to build self confidence is to look how you think a confident man should look. Dressing well is something you can do overnight. I briefly mentioned it in the first point around lifting weights and looking good. But while dressing well definitely adds to your looks, it can be one of the habits to build confidence on its own.
You can get clothes today that will make you look good the rest of the day if you wanted. Unless you’re broke as fuck, you have no excuse not to dress well. That doesn’t always mean fancy.
Sometimes it means having a v-neck that helps to show off your body, dark jeans, and a cool pair of shoes. You want to dress in a way that makes you look good while still being masculine and true to yourself. But the main point is that you look good and feel good. And even feeling good is the most important.
Because when you like the way you dress, you have a positive energy about you. It’s one of the easiest habits to build confidence because it’s something you can nail down overnight.
When you’re making good money, and you’re smart with your money, you can afford to blow a little bit on designer shirts that you wear on a night out. Or get a nice watch or nice pair of shoes. Of course your money needs to be #1 and if you’re broke then don’t waste it on clothes.
But once you get in a position where you’re building wealth, you can afford to upgrade your style and dress liek the boss you are. Combine this with having a good body and building confidence will be the natural shift you start to make.
6. Getting good at a hobby
Getting good at something builds confidence. Like everything else that is useful in building confidence, getting good at something gives you a sense of self worth. You prove to yourself that you’re a capable man when you improve at a skill.
Getting girls will make you more confidence with girls. Which can carry over to other aspects of life.
But getting good at other skills like martial arts, sports, dancing, working on cars, surfing, or whatever will also translate to your overall confidence. When you get good at something, that makes you more confident in that specific domain. However, it also gives you an extra boost of confidence when you do other things.
It gives you something that makes you interesting to other people. And more importantly you prove to yourself that you can learn a new skill or trade. I’m not the world’s best dancer. But I can go out and social dance to latin music with people I don’t know and do well. I used to barely be able to find the beat let alone do a basic step.
So to me, in my eyes, I get tons of confidence knowing I was able to get good at something I wanted to learn even though I sucked in the beginning.
For you it could be dancing, boxing, coding, whatever. The point is that it’s a hobby that you enjoy that you want to get better at. Improving at something you want to is one of the best habits to build confidence that will give you courage to get better with women and push harder at work.
7. Building a social circle
Building a social circle may not seem like a habit to most people. But if you don’t have many friends, then you need to get in the habit of making some. As a player, life is a lonely journey. You’ll often times have to go out alone, travel alone, and take on the world by yourself. Starting a business is lonely, and you must be able to not need women in order to do well with the best of them.
However, you also need to have social skills. You don’t need to have a million best friends. But learning how to make friends or acquaintances that you can go out with, do business with, or just hang out with, is a habit that builds confidence in a man.
It feels good to connect with other human beings. Especially if you have some bros who just enjoy hanging out with you. Women generally want you for your dick or your money. But good friends will just enjoy your company. And for some of you that don’t have many friends, thats one of the habits to build confidence that you may be overlooking. You don’y need to be the life of the party or have social events all the time. If you’re focused on your purpose you won’t have much time for that. But every man should have a social circle or some friends he can play poker with or have a few beers with from time to time.
8. Positive Affirmations
Lastly, positive affirmations are one of the best habits to build confidence. Words are powerful. Most people say negative shit to themselves all day in their head and wonder why they’re fucked up.
Positive affirmations are there to reprogram your brain. They’re nothing without action of course. But when you use positive affirmations and use intention with them, then you’re going to take the actions that are aligned with the words you say.
Using positive affirmations along with the daily work in the real world has helped to keep my mind focused on attracting the things I desire. It’s one of the best ways to get what you want and build confidence at the same time. Especially when you use positive affirmations to highlight the success you’ve already had and how grateful you are for life, you’ll notice your happiness will dramatically skyrocket. And so will your confidence you have.
Put in the work, see success, and remind yourself of your success
Every one of us can become a confident motherfucker. Confidence is everything. It’s only nothing when you don’t have it. If you hype yourself up to feel good but then fail to see results your brain is going to see yourself as a loser. And then you’ll have no confidence and you’ll believe confidence is useless.
But like everything else, building confidence takes persistence. Learning how to build confidence day by day takes effort and consistent action. You may not feel good everyday. But when you’re building confidence at work or in your business, in your dating life, or with your self image, don’t expect things to come overnight.
Put in the work. Use these habits to build confidence in yourself over time. Combine all of the consistent action with daily positive affirmations that reinforce what you’re doing. Overtime, through your mental re-wiring and real life success, you’ll develop the habits to build confidence and keep it strong. When you become a truly confident man, you’re able to live life to the fullest and reach your potential.