I can get hot women but can’t keep them
If you can get women but can’t keep them then you’re not alone. This is extremely common and has happened to most men who can get the hot women they want in the first place. That being said, this is still an area of your dating life that you need to rise against and conquer. Being able to get hot women is good. You have the ability to go get the women you want. At least on a physical level, I’m not going to say all hot women are quality women because that’s definitely not true.
Being able to get hot women that really turn you on is a good thing. Don’t discount that. Many men simply struggle to get and keep a woman in general, let alone a woman that they view as a dime.
However, if you want to maximize your dating life, you need to stop scaring women away. If you can get dimes but can’t keep them around very long, then you need to realize what it is you’re doing.
Can get hot women but can’t keep them
Let’s establish something right off the bat. If you can get hot women but can’t keep them, then this isn’t an outter issue. It’s a few things that you’d normally work on first if you have a problem dating women:
- Not a looks problem
- Initial confidence is strong
These are all essentials for having an optimal dating life.
The basics aren’t an issue
You need to have decent looks and / or confidence in order to be able to get hot women. You can always luck up on some woman if you play the numbers game. But in general, you also need to be confident when you first meet a woman and look decent. At least in her eyes.
If you can get hot women but can’t keep them, then the above isn’t an issue for you. Those things are more objective and “easier” to solve in a sense. Obvious is what I really mean. When you’re out of shape, are acting weak when you talk to women, or live in the middle of nowhere, of course you’re not going to get dimes. It’s not easy to change per say, but you know what you need to do.
However, if you can get with a dime every now and then but can’t keep her, it’s not due to your looks/initial confidence, approach, or logistics. Essentially it’s nothing on the outside.
What’s the issue?
It’s your masculinity that’s the issue.
You become needy. That’s generally – but not always – the issue when it comes to guys scaring away women. You become too needy for the sex, for the affection, to get her text messages and feel validated. All of it.
Becoming needy is extremely common for men. But even for good looking men, it can happen. And it does happen. It happened to me as well. It happens to guys who are studs. And even celebrities who can date tons of women will often get needy with women. They get a taste of sex and after a few times they’re addicted. As men we like to think that we win once we get sex. But in the modern era, with promiscuity being rampant and women exercising hypergamy to the fullest, this isn’t the case. At least not when you’re dealing with the dimes / the 10’s.
Now, a 10 is subjective. I’m not going to get into the rabbit-hole of if a girl is a 10 or not. Some guys will debate that no girl is perfect, no one is a 10, etc. Okay cool, whatever works for you man. I think classifying a girls exact rating is too much. If she’s really hot to you, you can call her a dime, a 9 or 10, whatever.
Men get addicted to the dimes
The point is that when we men tend to get laid, especially with the upper tier of women they don’t always come by, we tend to get needy. Because we want to keep that sex and affection in our lives.
Even with this knowledge, it can still happen to you. Sure, you can sleep with a pretty a girl and like the sex and time with her. But when you sleep with a girl who really does it for you, whose basically a 10 or just your ideal woman, it’s hard not to get a little needy. That’s a reality. However, guys tend to get a mild form of oneitis for the dimes when they’re dating them for a few weeks, before the girl gets bored and leaves.
If you can avoid needing the girl in your life, then the chance you keep her around is much higher. And not only keep her around, but keep her in her feminine state. But how do you do this? How do you not get needy for the dimes?
Change your focus
Stop looking forward to hanging out with them. That’s how you avoid being needy with women in general, but especially with the dimes. It sounds fucked up. Like a lot of truths that we aren’t told as men, this sounds backwards as hell from the blue pill conditioning we’re brought up with.
Why would you not want to look forward to hanging out, sleeping with, dating, spending time with, a hot woman?
Here’s the thing. The more you look forward to it, the more likely you are to need it. Because when you look forward to something, you’re placing your happiness in it. This is key to remember. When you look forward to something, you’re placing your happiness in it.
If you’re in the wilderness es trying to survive, having hope to find food can be good for you to live. If you’re at work and you’re looking forward to closing a deal or getting something done, this can give you motivation to complete the task at hand.
But with women, looking forward to them will cause you to become needy towards them. Especially with the dimes.
Does this apply to my girlfriend or wife?
Not in as extreme of a way. This article is written more for single guys in the dating game.
You can still apply it to a girlfriend or wife. In that you can’t place all of your happiness in them. However, you can look forward more to hanging out with your wife or girlfriend than just some random girl. If you have a high quality woman than it’s going to be impossible not to.
And for guys with children and family, this doesn’t apply to your kids.
Your kids are a major purpose in your life, and you can definitely look forward to spending time and raising them. And with the family unit as well. However, while you should value and cherish your girlfriend / wife / mother of your kids, it should be more about the family and kids rather than just your woman. She’s still important, but so are you. If you keep that in mind, you can look forward to hanging out with her, but not start to pedestalize her in a way so you become beta. Enjoy her company and have a solid relationship, but be careful to keep your manhood in check.
Not the highlight of your day
You can still enjoy your time, just don’t make it the highlight of your day. When you make your date with a new girl, or even just sex with a girl you’re already seeing, the highlight of your day, you’re messing up.
You’re placing your happiness in that woman.
Without even realizing it, you’re placing the responsibility of your well being and attitude in the hands of a woman. And a dime at that. Women don’t want that burden. You can’t keep them around if you push that onto them. You can enjoy your time with a hot woman, whether it’s a date, it’s the sex, it’s a conversation, and so on. It’s a great pleasure as a man to have feminine companionship and energy into our lives to balance our masculinity.
Dating can be a fun thing in your life, but not the center of it
But you need to view it as an extra thing.
Like you almost forgot that you were seeing her, then she texts you to confirm, comes over or you guys go out, and have a good time. Then it’s like a cherry on top of your ice cream. It’s a nice addition to the end of a productive day when it happens. However, you’re not dragging yourself through the day and looking forward to seeing a dime at the end of it. No, because then you’ll be needy and likely to fail any tests she gives you. And she needs to test you to ensure you’re strong.
Look at dating, sex, and relationships with women like that. Something fun you can enjoy, but not the thing that’s going to make or break your day. That’s what your purpose is for. If you can take on that perspective, then you can enjoy time with a dime or any woman, without losing frame, becoming beta, or getting disappointed. You’ve placed your happiness in your control, and by doing so you become the man women want.
sometimes i feel like dudes is too comfortable to take action thats the vibe i’m getting weird response but your lovely article made me come to that realisation good article by the way. i’m kindly waiting for that money, improvement etc shit got me jonesing like a crack addict when it coming lol. lovely writing keep it up
Thanks brother. Yes taking action is needed to get what you want in life, especially with your money and goals.