How Long does it take to Become an Alpha Male?

How long does it take to become an alpha male?

How long does it take to become an alpha male?

It can a while to become an alpha male.  You’re not going to be alpha overnight.

And let’s be clear on what alpha is.  It’s situational and depends on circumstances.  In this article when I say alpha I mean you’re in the best position you can be in as a man in the core categories.  This is with business, relationships, and physically.

What you don’t need to do

You don’t need to try to “out-alpha” other guys if you’re in a group.  Don’t try to be domineering over your friends or be the loudest person if you’re a group setting.  If you’re in a martial arts class, guess what, the instructor is the alpha, not you, accept it.  If you’re in a group of friends or in a club, don’t try to act tougher than you are or be fake.  That’s not what this article is about.

You don’t need to be a billionaire to be an alpha male in your business life, you don’t need to sleep with 100 women to be an alpha with women, and you don’t need to be the Rock to be an alpha physically.  Not everyone will think you’re alpha and that’s fine.

Ideally I don’t want you guys thinking the word “alpha” so much in your head.  I’d rather have you think you’re just a rock solid man.  This way you can be confident and strong, and yet have humility.  But the word alpha is good for SEO, and you guys want to be the leader in your relationships with women.  That’s all good and the point is the same.

What alpha means

But when I say become an alpha male, I mean you put yourself in the best position possible and you carry yourself like a man.

  • In business, that means having your own source of income.
  • With women, that means being able to lead relationships  or date the women you want.
  • And physically, it means being in the best shape possible.

Business / money

value - ceo - businessman

You’re an alpha male in business / with your money when you control your own income.  This means you work for yourself and don’t have a boss.  Or you can have a job and a side business – and the side business can pay for your lifestyle alone.  Some guys do this to make a lot of money – from a job and their own business – for a while before quitting and doing their business full time.

Can you have a job and be alpha at work?  If you’re in a position where you’re not desperate for the job and have a work environment that respects you, then it’s possible.  But for most men, being alpha at work means you own a business.  If you want to have a job that’s fine, you can still carry yourself like a man at your job, treat people well, and enjoy your career.

The main point is that you have a source of income you control.

And that’s what you need to do if you want to truly be free.  Financial freedom is freedom in today’s society.  And if you want to become an alpha male, you need to have control of your money.  If you don’t, then you’re dependent on your job for money, which is access to resources.

Becoming an alpha male business wise could happen within a year if you grind hard.  However you should expect to put at least 2 years in of consistent work, maybe even 3-4, in order to build your business up.  It can happen faster than that, but don’t expect it to.  It takes time.  But if you grind for 2 years on the side, putting in 20-40 hours a week into your side business then you’re going to see results.

It’s worth it

It’s worth the effort and time.

If you become an alpha male with your money you become the boss of your own life.  If you have a job you’re dependent on, you still have to show up to work, listen, do as you’re told, and not step out of line.

A lot of guys can get a good dating life, but then they still have a job they hate.  Meaning they’re alpha with women but beta with their finances.  There are lots of men who also have the opposite problem.  They’re beta with relationships but then have a business or make a lot of money.

Regardless, I think it’s best to be in the best position in both situations.  That’s the drive you have.  If you’re an alpha male in one area, you likely have a desire to become alpha in the rest.

Which translates into the rest of your life.  You need to become an alpha male with your money.  That gives you a sweet freedom and a confidence that’s unmatched.  Nobody controls you when you don’t depend on anyone else for money.

How to own your money

financial independence - build your business

You own your money by owning a business.  That could be a service based business, a product based business, or a hybrid of both.

It could be online like

  • marketing, coaching, programming

or a physical / in-person like

  • landscaping, personal training, hvac, real estate

When you own a business, you’re the boss.  You can control your income.  And this is the most practical way to earn six figures.

Passive income

You can also invest money into real estate and the stock market to give you some passive income.  However it takes some existing wealth to be at a point where doing this is worth it.  For example, if you have 300k in the bank from working on a business for the past 5 or 6 years, you could invest 100 or 150k into an apartment in a cheap area.  As in you bought it in cash.  Then you could make 1000 or 1500 a month (before tax, hoa fees, etc) and have equity in the property.  However the key here is that you own the property, no mortgages.  So when the market crashes, you won’t be desperate to sell and can wait it out until it rises again.

And you still have 100k in the bank as a safety net.

But before you start thinking about real estate or the stock market, you need to start a business and make the money.  And if you’re starting a business around something you love to do, the money will come in time.


red pill relationship

How long does it take to become an alpha male with women?  That also depends.  How much of a beta are you right now?

I don’t care if you’re in the game for 10 years, you’re still going to make a beta move here and there.  Especially if you’re in a relationship, it’s bound to happen.  In fact you should be 10-20% beta in relationships.  You can’t be a ruthless alpha male all the time, although you definitely want to be more alpha than beta.

In fact, it’s better not to think of every situation as “alpha or beta”.  Instead, it’s better to focus on being a rock solid man.  You have control over your emotions and you’re able to keep a masculine frame.  You can be loving to your woman, lead her, yet also create healthy boundaries and speak up when problems arise.

But in order to become generally masculine and alpha with women, you need to put in the work.  It takes time.  If you’re pretty beta right now, it might take a year or two.

The thing is if you put in the work, you can become an alpha male with women quicker than you can in business.  However most guys never destroy their inner beta.  They meet new girls, act alpha for a little bit, then always revert to their beta ways.

You likely know where you’re messing up

The amount of emails I get from guys with “I know I have oneitis for this girl, but I really want to make this work” or “I’ve been seeing this girl, I acted masculine, we slept together a few times, but now I always call her, she’s showing less affection, I really like her…” and so on.

Guys like a woman and then immediately throw out all the knowledge on not just my website, but from their own experience.  They write to me knowing they’re messing up, yet aren’t willing to become an alpha male.

Being alpha with women

woman choosing

You know what it takes to become an alpha male with women?  Always being able to walk away from bad relationships or situations.

When a woman is pulling back or trying to make you the beta, you stop that shit right there.  You stop texting her first every single time, you stop wanting more from her.

Instead you’re just trying to have fun with her.  If she’s down then cool, but if she disappears no big deal.  And if she disrespects you, you need to either check her on this by sitting her down and telling her what she did and why it was wrong, or walk away.  Ideally you already set terms with her at the beginning of the relationship so there are no surprises.

But regardless, you need to be a man.  If you maintain your self respect when dealing with women, then you’ll be an alpha male with women.  There will be slip ups, but if you stay committed to maintaining your masculinity, you’re generally going to be the alpha.

Don’t always look at it as “how do I win over her in this situation?”  Instead, think “what would a logical man with self respect do?”  Then you can be masculine and lead from a place of strength, while also maintaining decency and integrity.

Man up

But becoming an alpha male with women is possible within a year or two if you actually stop acting weak.  Most men make the same mistakes over and over again.  They chase women who they shouldn’t be.  They value women, and the sex  affection, over themselves.  If you have the mindset that relationships can be fun, but your enjoyment of life + manhood are more important, then you’ll be happier and also become an alpha male with women in a matter of time.


workout in the morning

Getting in the best shape of your life can also take years.  I’m guessing most of you already lift, eat well, and stay in good shape.  So this should be the easiest one on the list from a time perspective.  Individual workouts can be grueling.  Nevertheless, getting in amazing shape in as straightforward as it gets.

Lift weights, do some cardio, eat clean.

Many of you might already be in the best shape of your life or close to it.

If you’re overweight or not feeling amazing then you need to get on this asap.  Becoming an alpha male physically will also change your mental state.  You’ll feel like more of a man.  That will translate to your confidence with women and energy you have towards growing a business.

You’ll actually be healthier, you’ll look more attractive, and you’ll feel amazing.  Add in some martial arts training, and you’ll have the confidence to defend yourself if need be.  This will make you an alpha physically.

It takes time

So the answer is that it can take a while to become an alpha male in all 3 categories depending on where you are.  Becoming an alpha physically is the most straight forward.  And I expect most of you to already be there or be well on your way.

That’s why you need to evaluate yourself.

Are you acting like a strong man or a weak man in the situation you’re in with this girl or that girl?

If you take a step back, you can see what’s the right thing to do.  Don’t think she’s different and will react good to you blowing up her phone or professing your love to her when you’ve been out on one date.  Slow down.  Control your tempo and inner thoughts.  Relax for a second and take a step back.

Being alpha in relationships doesn’t have to be complicated.  Focus on having respect for yourself, her, and the union you two have agreed upon.  Create terms for the relationship, and enjoy your time with her.  But don’t value her affection, sex, or attention over your values.  Otherwise you’ll compromise yourself, feel like less than you were.  And she’ll lose attraction for you because you became weaker.  She doesn’t want you to put her on a pedestal.  Instead she wants you to be the man that she met and better.  Not worse.  You can apply this to other relationships with people in general.

It takes time to become an alpha male.  With commitment to improving yourself, it can be done within a few years.  If you never start, you’ll never get anywhere.  Look at where you are right now, and make the steps you need to own your money, improve your relationships, and get in the best shape you can.

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Hello Jay, I’ve been keeping up on your great articles, I met a new girl and I’ve taken her on a lunch date and she seems interested in me inviting her over to my place, we work at the same school so I’m bound to see her regularly ,will I come across as a Beta guy if I text her or call her once in a while before I invite her over to my home?


Hello I’ve read the article I have a question how do I become alpha with women if I am minority and I’m treated like minority


I have 7 alpha men, and I still live my life. They all think they got me.


No beta or alpha males and females can fight their biological desires and needs. Everything in life becomes boring. Your brain picks it up. Live life and stop worrying about your hierarchy in the animal kingdom.


Hello bro, Happy new year man. Haha it’s me again, I took your advice on being more confident pursuing sex and it’s been a hell of a run. I laid two chicks in that space of time and I’m more confident making moves on girls that I bring back to my place. But there’s something I’ve been pondering on, it’s that chick I used to have oneitis for, she hasn’t hit me up and I haven’t too ever since I stopped initiating conversation. Now that I’m more confident, do I hit her up and lay her or just forget about… Read more »


Hello jay, this article has show me things i didn’t know keep up the work. I have a question,at school i have this guy that talks some jokes on my color (i’m black) i don’t know if it’s alpha to answer or beat him or just leave him alone cuz i don’t really care and i don’t have time for him. Is going to affect my reputation with girls or not?


Hello bro, i appreciate your content its very motivating. Its been six months now since i stopped sleeping with girls cause i was very busy. But now i wanna fuck one in my school, but i don’t know how to approach her. In italy girls don’t like those lines that are not natural they find it weird, i don’t know what to say. I wanna turn this girl into my fuckbuddy