December 21

How to ask a girl out: The basics to approaching women


How to ask a girl out

How to ask a girl out: The basics to approaching women

It’s easy to learn how to ask a girl out.  A lot of guys have been sending me this question.

It’s not hard.  I don’t know if a lot of you guys forgot how to talk.  But just in case, I’m going to tell you the answer.

What to say

When you want to ask a girl out on out on a date, just go up to her.  And.  Say.

“Hey _____, let’s grab a drink sometime” Or “Hey, you look like you like to get drinks.   Let’s grab a drink sometime, when are you free?

If she say yes, sure, or any other kind of positive statement and shows interest, say “cool, what’s your availability for next week?”  Then you two nail down a time.  Easy as fuck.  It’s really that simple.

Why you mess up

So if it’s that easy, then why did you need to come here and read a post about it?  Well, it’s probably for a host of reasons.

No choosing

But I’m willing to bet that the majority of girls are saying “no” or “I don’t know you”.    Basically, they weren’t choosing you.  You just went up and approached a random girl.

If that’s the way you handle the dating game, then you’re going to need to ask anywhere from 10 to 30 girls before you get a yes, depending on your looks and confidence.  Which is fine, but you also want girls who choose up on you.  If you’re walking on the street and see a beautiful girl, well chances are you’ll never see her again.  So you have nothing to lose.

However, I view myself as a boss.  I can’t be always looking to hit on girls, I’m going places and doing thus.  Getting rejected is part of the game, but it’s nice when you approach girls who already like you.

Approaching girls who aren’t choosing you

woman rejecting man

It’s hard to understand how to ask a girl out correctly if you keep getting rejected.  If you get rejected constantly, it’s because you’re approaching random girls.

Pick up artists do that.  They go up and approach 100’s of girls.  Screw that.  As a man on his purpose, you don’t have time to approach girls all day.

Listen, I still go up and talk to a cute girl when the time is right.  I cold approach once in a while.  But the time isn’t right just when I see an attractive girls.  I don’t spend a Saturday afternoon trying to approach 100 girls.  If I’m walking to do my errands or around town and I see a girl I find attractive I’ll say something.

But the best time to ask a girl out is when she’s choosing me.  I’ll say it again, the best the time is when she’s choosing me.  And for you guys who don’t know what I’m talking about, that means she’s checking me out and showing interest.

If you approach girls who are interested in you, then you’re bound to have success.  It’s not rocket science and it’s the easiest shit in the world to do.

Why girls aren’t choosing you

habits for success - analyzing yourself

Let’s get back to choosing, because that’s the game on easy mode.  So if girls were checking you out  left and right, then what’s the problem?  Well, you either

  1. Don’t notice when girls choose you… or
  2. You’re not making yourself a high quality catch

Given you live in a decent populated city, there will be girls who you can get.

You’re either oblivious and don’t notice when girls are choosing you, or girls simply aren’t choosing you.

1. You never notice when they choose

If it’s the first option, then you’re in luck.  You’re a dumb stud who just needs to look for the signs of girls being interested. The biggest one is having them check you out.  Most girls won’t stare hard at you, but they’ll look at you for a few seconds and look away a few times.

Once you’re aware this happens, you can usually tell if a girl is choosing you.  It’s up to you to just go talk to her.

When you do it this way, it’s easy as to learn how to ask a girl out.  You don’t need any fancy pick up lines or weird mind games that never work.  You don’t need to memorize a 10 minute long script.

2. You’re not making yourself a high quality catch

For most of you, it’s probably a combination of not noticing and not being good enough.  If you want hot girls, or even just cute ones, you have to be a good catch yourself.  Women want a man who’s good looking, has money or at least a stable job, decent style, good body, and so on.

Women want as much of a real man as they can get.  The more you have of those things, the better catch you are.  If you’re focused on developing yourself and improving every major area, you’re going to be more attractive to women.

But if you’re a little overweight, have no style, and are broke, how do you expect women who be checking you out?  You can’t have the attention from women without doing the work.  Yes, it’s easy for the naturally good looking guys.  But that’s probably not you, and bitching about it won’t make your life any easier.

Instead, you need to play the hand you’re dealt with.

Become more valuable

traits of masculine men - the rock, muscles

So you need to either make yourself a higher quality catch, talk to more women, or both.  I recommend making yourself a better catch and then having more women interested in you.  It’s easy to learn how to ask a girl out when the girl already is interested in you.

Make yourself a better catch by

  1. Developing your purpose
  2. Working out and getting fit
  3. Increasing your style and being well groomed
  4. Get your money right
  5. Learning how to become a great conversationalist
  6. Growing your confidence and aura

Doing these things will cause more women to choose on you.

So basically, focus on yourself.  I said it before and I’ll say it again.  You need to be selfish.  Make yourself into a complete boss.

Women love winners.

And if you become a winner, then more of them will want to be with you.  Then when you see them check you out, go up, introduce yourself and ask them to get a drink sometime.  It’s not hard practice how to ask a girl out if you keep it simple. And if the woman is into you, you won’t need to talk for 10 minutes or an hour to get her to say yes.  Women know within a few seconds of seeing you if they’d fuck you, let alone grab a drink.

Sure, you can change that over the tone of a conversation if you have really good conversation game.  But you can also mess up that up by talking too much.

Magic formula

Instead, the easy route is to make yourself a better catch, approaching women who are choosing you, and make it short + sweet.

And even if you cold approach girls, you’ll have a much better success rate if you look good and have confidence.  Yea I prefer you guys go after girls who are checking you out.  But if you see a girl you think is hot or your type, yea go approach that chick.  And when you’re looking good and feeling good, you’re going to be able to get some of those girls too.

Big mistake – Talking too much

How to Remain Detached from a Woman

Besides approaching the ones who aren’t interested, the other reason you can’t learn how to ask a girl out properly is because you’re talking too much.  If you approach a girl who’s down to go on a date with you, then you just need to ask. Don’t waste her time, and most importantly, don’t waste your own.

Some of you guys actually have women who like you.  Maybe your decent looking and are a normal dude.  But you talk too much.

Women love to talk.  But they don’t want to hear you talk too much.  You seem like you’re trying to hard.  Because you are.  Plus, if she already digs you, then you’re just giving yourself a chance to talk your way out of the pussy.

Just let them talk

being cool on date

If a girl already thinks you’re good looking or for whatever reason is choosing you, then keep it short and simple.  If she wants to talk, then let her talk.  But you just need to listen and keep your mouth shut.  As her questions, share a little bit about yourself if need be, but keep the focus on her.  I like to keep conversations short, but if she’s talking then let her talk.

Then when she’s done, say she seems cool and you two should meet up for a drinks/tacos.  It’s not too hard to learn how to ask a girl out if you just approach her, let her talk, and just ask her.

Flirt, but don’t talk for days

Make jokes or comments when you want.  Keep it flirty and playful.  But don’t get serious and start talking your ass off.  Figuring out how to ask a girl out should involve you practicing short and fun conversations with girls.  Ask if them if they like to get drinks, tacos, whatever.  Something lighthearted, casual, and something the both of you are likely to enjoy.

Short, to the point, and all around good vibes is what you’re looking for when you’re trying to get her on a date with you.

How to ask a girl out over text

man smiling, texting a girl

Any difference in asking a girl out over text?

But for knowing how to ask a girl out over text that you already met, definitely not.  In fact, I don’t use texting to go back and forth with a woman that much unless she’s already a girlfriend.

I’m assuming by your question of how to ask a girl out that you’re obviously talking about a girl you haven’t dated before.  So for you, keep texts short.  You can go back and forth with some light conversations.  But don’t keep on texting her forever.  Otherwise you’re going to ask me why she never texts you first let alone go out with you.

  • Tell her you two should get drinks sometime.
  • Wait for her to agree.
  • Then ask her what’s her availability for next week, next weekend, or whenever.
  • Then you’ll both agree on a time and meet up.

If it’s not going that smoothly, like she is unsure if she wants to meet up with you, then take your attention away.  She’s either a time waster or not into you enough right now.

Plus by taking your attention away, you’re showing you’re not a needy little boy  You’re a man man.  And if she doesn’t want to meet up then you’ll talk to other women.

Don’t over complicate this

Learning how to ask a girl out isn’t hard.  It’s easy.

And it shouldn’t be hard.  If a girl wants to go on a date with you, then it will be an easy process.  She doesn’t, then she doesn’t.  Stop trying to force shit into happening.Instead, work on yourself.  Make yourself into a high quality catch that any woman would want.

Then, your options will increase.  Your confidence will grow.  And you’ll have way more girls who want to date you.


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