How to be a Man

So you want to know how to be a man?  You’ve take a step most males won’t.  Wanting to be a man is what every male should strive for, but probably only 2-3% of guys are real men.

Here’s 44 Rules you need to live by improve your manhood and finally learn how to be a man.

1. Chases your dreams, and make them goals

Every man needs to have a dream that he can strive for.

Add a timeline to that dream and now you have a goal.  You need to have goals that are going to improve the quality of your life and make you happy.

1. First Step – Figure out what your dream is what you want to do.
2. Second Step – Then make a plan how you’re going to accomplish it.

It’s easier said then done, but the premise is that easy.

2. Producer Mindset

If you want to learn how to be a man, it’s essential that you develop a producer mindset.

The vast majority of people in the world are consumers.  They just consume, consume, consume.

Out of the 8 or 9 hours they’re at work, they’re probably productive 3 or 4, and consume other content (social media, for example), or just waste time.  What I want you to do is become a producer.  How much can you produce before you die?

Not, “when can I retire?”  The people who have the ability to retire early cause they’ve made so much money rarely do because they love what they do.  And they’re producers.  Everybody’s a consumer at some level, that’s just the cost of living in society.

I’m not saying you have to grow your own organic food – although that sounds dope.  But in your work, your craft, your purpose… you need to be a producer.  Adapt the producer mindset.  Cut out all the bullshit you that’s not productive for your life and focus on producing.

3. Stop giving a fuck about what other people think

A real man doesn’t have time to give a fuck what other people think.

Not good, not bad.  A man is concerned with what he wants to accomplish, and how he thinks of himself.  Don’t be concerned with the opinions of others.  Now, your reputation is still important, especially when it comes to your business.

So in your business or professional life, you should care about what your customers or clients think.  But on a macro level, not a micro level.

If all your clients think you’re great, and one hates you, it’s probably not a good fit with that one client.  But if half of your clients don’t like you or your service, then you should consider that and alter your business strategy accordingly.  It means they’re not getting value, which is definitely an issue and you should give a fuck.

Back to the main point – when it comes to your personal life, don’t put any positive or negative fucks into what people think.

4. Trust your instincts

A man with no instincts is a man whose out of touch.

If you have a bad feeling about a business situation, a girl you’re seeing, a street you’re walking on, whatever – listen to your gut.

A huge part about learning how to be a man means you can feel your instincts.

Every animal has instincts, and unfortunately many men have lost their intuition.

5. Stand up for what you believe in

If you see something that’s not right, then stand up for it.

The easiest example is bullying or harassment.

If you see an older person, woman, child, or even a lesser man being harassed by someone who’s physically a threat to them, you should stand up for the weaker person.

6. Protect your woman

I talk a lot about not saving women, not pedestaling them, etc.

But when you’re with your woman, even if she’s just someone you started dating, you should protect her against physical threats.  This pretty much means not being a beta and standing up to guys who say shit to her while you’re with her.  If any of you have ever been with a gorgeous woman in public, then you know what I mean.

Guys get jealous when they see another man with a really attractive woman.

A lot of pick up artists will tell you not to get in fights over women.  I’m not proposing you ever look for a fight.  But you also must show strength and protect your woman when needed.

If you want to learn how to be a man, you need to protect the woman you’re with.  It’s not because you own her, or you’re this noble guy.

But that’s a man’s role.  That’s why women are attracted to muscles.  You like curvy hips because that signals health for your potential children.  She likes muscles because that signals strength and protection.

It’s because you’re an alpha male and you’re not going to tolerate a threat.  Would James Bond let some guy harass with a woman he’s with, even if they’re just dating casually?  No, he wouldn’t.  Would Denzel Washington let some guys harass his woman?  No he wouldn’t.  Would the Rock let guys harass his woman? No he wouldn’t.   You shouldn’t either.

7. Don’t let people fuck with you

In case you didn’t realize, these past few tips have been related.

Don’t let people fuck with weaker people, don’t let them fuck with a girl you’re with, and don’t let them fuck with you.

Never tolerate this.

If someone is disrespecting you, you need to address the issue.  Especially if it’s a girl you’re seeing, someone at work, friends, or anyone else.

8. Know how to defend yourself and how to fight

I don’t propose looking for fights, but you should know to how to fight if the need arises.

In fact, the confidence you’ll have from knowing you can fight in hostile situations shouldn’t be undermined.  It will give you the clarity to act as a man in a controlled state.

Animals can smell fear, and so can aggressive men who are challenging you.  Other you train in boxing, bjj, muay thai, wrestling, or even put it together in mma, knowing self defense is essential.

Martial arts are a great hobby to take up.  But at least training in something for a year or two will give you more experience than most and might come in handy.  This is especially true if you’re a smaller or medium sized dude.  If you’re already a big guy, then learning how to fight isn’t as necessary.  But I’d still highly recommend it.

9. Lift weights

Lifting weights is another way to boost your confidence and ability to defend yourself in hostile situations.

On a day to day basis, lifting weights will do a ton for you too!

Increased testosterone will have you feeling incredible.  More muscle will give you a sense of accomplishment and power.  The fact that it makes you kore attractive is also an added bonus.  There’s just too many benefits to lifting weights not to do it.

“Just cause you life weights doesn’t mean you’re a man” – okay fine, but let’s be honest.  Lifting weights will make you more manly on the outside and will also help you mentally to feel more masculine.

10. Own your own business

If you want to now how to be a man, start by owning your own business.

Entrepreneurship is one of the greatest paths an individual can take.

The challenges you’ll face with creating a money making machine, aka a business, are hard to out into words.  Starting a business is hard.  But you can’t really be a man and still call another man your boss.  Even if you have a great dating life on the weekend, you still have to clock in Monday through Friday and submit to the wishes of another man.

If you want to learn how to be a man, and even how to be an alpha male, you need to own your own business.

11. Stay lean

Every man should lift weights and build some muscle.  But you should also stay lean.  Some guys this may mean having a 6-pack, other guys may just need to keep the belly off.

We all have different body types and aren’t going to look exactly the same.  But staying lean, within reason, is important for your health.  You don’t want to overeat certain foods that will make you soft (literally and otherwise).

My greatest weakness is sweets, like chocolate, cake, cookies you name it.  Staying away from that shit keeps me more lean, and more healthy.  You should still have good food and enjoy yourself form time to time.  However, your regular diet should be controlled to that you’re staying lean.

12. Never bow down to another man

Part of why you should own your business is because you’ll never have to bow down to another man.

But this is not only in business.  In life, don’t submit to other men.

If a cop pulls you over, you don’t have to be aggressive, resist arrest, and be thrown in jail.  But you also don’t have to suck his dick to try to not give you a ticket.  If he wants to give you a ticket, so be it.  You have to be a player in every situation you’re in.  But you can’t sacrifice your manhood.  At the end of the day, that’s all some men have.  And if things go to shit, at least you’ll have that.

Never bow down to another man.  You can show respect to other men.  But don’t suck up.

13. Eat clean

This is similar to staying lean.

I’ll make it a separate point thought because I know some of you guys can eat like shit and still stay healthy.

Eating clean – high quality meats, vegetables, fruits – has many benefits.  You’ll feel better.  You’ll preform better in daily actives – from working out, to walking, to having sex.  Did I mention you’ll look better too?  Eating clean will also build good habits.  It’s easy to eat clean at 50 or 60 when you’ve been doing it most of your life.

It’s hard to eat like shit and then eat clean when you’re older.  And eating junk food and just low quality food in general will catch up to you when you’re older.

14. Get enough sleep

There are times when you need to lose sleep in order to accomplish a larger goal.  Night to night, on a regular basis, you should be getting enough sleep to function.

Learning how to be a man means being a producer, and you can’t be a producer if you’re always tired from lack of sleep. Sleep is crucial to everything you do.  It’s important for your health and livelihood.  Whether is 6 hours or the full 8, every man has a specific amount of sleep that’s optimal for himself.  Find out what your range is.

And then make sure you get that every night.

15. Avoid debt at all costs

On your path to manhood and accomplishment, you want nothing to slow you down.

If you wanted to stop yourself, debt would is the prefect excuse.

Debt is the killer of dreams, and you need to avoid it at all costs if you’re serious about how to be a man.

My general rule of thumb is never take any debt, ever.  Debt is when you owe money back to something (like a bank), or someone.  You’ll owe not only the principal, which is the amount you took, but interest, which is the extra money that the loaner gets.  Do you know why banks give out loans?

They’re not charities guys.  It’s because they make money off of the person who gets the loan.  Don’t buy things you can’t afford.  Find ways to spend less money.

Paying for something over the course of 30 years means you were paying it off for 1/3 of your life – and that’s if you’re lucky to live to 90.  I’ll make an exception if you need to have a car, and can’t afford it.  In this situation you can get an affordable car that you can use for Uber and Lyft.  If you do some driving in your spare time, you can make enough money to cover the payment, and then use any extra funds on ad spend money for your business.

16. Create your Purpose, have a Meaning in Life

Every man needs a meaning in life.  Without one, you’ll never truly learn how to be a man.  You’ll always feel lost or be building someone’s dream and not your own

So you must create your own purpose.

A man who creates his own meaning in life is a real man.  Out of all the things in this list, this is the most important.  In your journey in learning how to be a man, establishing your life’s mission is the best thing you can do.

How to do this?  It’s simple.

Take something you love, get good at it, and monetize it.  You do this by starting a business.  You have to take what you love and share that with the world.  The easiest way to speed up your journey of how to be a man is to create your own life purpose and follow it.

17. Understand the power of Value

Everything in life comes down to value.

You’re only as good as the value you provide.

When you start a business, people are only going to buy your product or service because they perceive it as being more valuable than the money they’re spending.

If you have a girlfriend, she’s with you because you’re valuable to her.  It could be how you make her feel, or maybe on the opposite end you make a lot of money and she’s wants the security.  You can leverage this by making yourself into a man of high value.  With your business, you can understand the power of value to create more wealth to yourself and help your clients/customers in their lives at a higher level.

18. Accept that Obsession is the key to success

If you want to achieve anything great in life, then you need to be obsessed.

Every man who’s accomplished great things has been completely obsessed with their life’s mission.  Work / life balance doesn’t exist for the successful man.  At least not in the beginning.

If you want to work a shitty job you hate, then yes, you can come home and have a somewhat balanced life.  But if you want real success in your life, it’s all or nothing.  You need to have goals and fucking tackle them.

It’s do or die.  Stop messing around and pretending like it’s not.  If you’re obsessed with what you want to accomplish, then you might very well be on your way to manhood.  If not, getting obsessed over a goal is one of the fastest way to learn how to be a man.

19. Live life on your own terms

You have one life, so you might as well live it like it’s your last.  At the end of the day, you’ll regret living life for someone else.  You need to live life on your own terms.  If I teach you anything about how to be a man, it should be to live life for yourself.  For most of you, especially if you’ve made it this far reading this, this means doing something you love, being completely obsessed about it, and creating a business out of it.

This way you’re helping other people, making money, and doing what you love.  Most men live life on other people’s terms.

Fuck that.  That’s some bullshit.  Do what you want to do in this life, and do it with all of your capability.

20. Don’t waste your time – do it now, today!

Everyday is another opportunity.  Everyday you do nothing is another day wasted.

If you want to live life on your own terms, want to start a business, have a better body, get out of a bad relationship, get better with women, move to a new country, start today.  Don’t just plan, but make an actionable step.

Want to move to another country?  Stack your cash, get your business up and running so you can make the move.  Want to get out of a bad relationship?  Okay well you can do that shit ASAP.

Figuring out how to be a man means valuing your time.  It’s the most valuable currency you have.

21. Take advantage of all your opportunities 

It’s common sense to make the most of your opportunities and advantages.

Or you think it would be.  If you really want to know how to be a man, then you NEED to take advantage of the opportunities presented to you.

We live in the absolute best time time be alive.  Ever.  With the internet, you can start an online business and work from wherever you want.

Have no marketing money?  You can upload a video of yourself and put it on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, and a ton of other places.  Blogging and YouTube alone can help you to have an incredible reach and help people who are looking for exactly what you’re providing.   You can blog or do YouTube for free.   If you’re willing to grind and consistently put out content and just never give up, you can earn your freedom.

The world is ripe with so much opportunity it’s almost unbelievable.

As jobs start to get more competitive due to increased automation, and bigger companies start to spend more and more on online advertising, it’s only going to get harder.  Take advantage of all your opportunities in life to get ahead of other men.

22. Approach women the right way

With online dating and tinder, you can meet women from your own home.

But it’s still nice to meet women in real life, and if you do too, you need to approach them with confidence.

Go up and just say “Hey, I’m (your name), what’s up?” or “Hey, how’s it going?”

Should you approach every girl you see?  You could, but that’s a waste of time in my opinion.  If you want to get some knowledge on how to be a man, then you need to understand women.  Get familiar on her choosing signals, and approach the girls that are already interested in you.

How to know if a girl is choosing you?

Eye contact.  If she’s checking you out, she probably likes what she sees.

If you’re not getting enough eye contact, you either live in too small of a town, haven’t made yourself attractive/appealing enough, or you’re just not noticing the girls that are currently giving you eye contact.  Part of the journey of becoming a man is getting better with women and approaching them right.

It’s not hard, a lot of it is just undoing some of the bullshit programing you’ve been taught.

23. Create confidence in all areas, and use positive affirmations 

Confidence is a hot topic, with way too many opinions on it.

It’s simply the belief that you can handle yourself in a specific situation.  How you feel about yourself is your self-esteem, which is still important, and related – but different.  An example is you can be good with women, confident with them, but still have low self esteem overall if you work for another man and hate doing that.

But if you create confidence in all areas of your life, self-esteem will follow.   Confidence for any guy learning how to be a man.  If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.  It’s not made overnight though.  If you tell yourself bullshit, you won’t believe it.

Confidence can be created, through success and positive affirmations (that aren’t complete bullshit).

For example, let’s say you’re trying to start a business.  You’ll get more confidence in your ability to once you get your first sale or customer.  Until then, you can aid in this by putting in hard work and positive affirmations.

• “I’m working everyday to build this business, I know I’ll be successful, I just need to put in the time”
• “I’m going to be successful and help a lot of people”
• “I love owning my own business, and even though it’s small now, it will grow because I’ll help my clients in their lives/businesses/etc”

You can use these, later them, or use your own.It’s tough when you’re starting out, but eventually you’ll start to really believe what you’re saying.  Your confidence will rise.

24. Be responsible for your life, don’t blame others – blame yourself

Take responsibility for what you want in life.

In your advancement of how to be a man, responsibility is key.  Once you take responsibility for your own life, you’ll realize you’re in control.  You’ll begin to take the actions necessary to accomplish the things you want to do.

Every real man controls his own destiny.  If you blame others for your lack of success, then you’re playing the victim. There’s no time to be a victim if you want to be a fucking man!  You need to evaluate your life.  I really mean it.

Take a real look at your own life?  Are you completely satisfied?  No?  So who’s fault is it then?

It’s yours, and yours alone.  I’m always working to improve myself and my quality of life, and I know anything I don’t achieve is only because I didn’t make it happen.  You should have a similar mentality.  Take control of your life and blame yourself.  You’ll realize this will give you a superpower.

The world is open to you dominating it.  Most guys get beat up by life and blame other people or situations for their downfall.

This means that you just don’t have that much competition.  Take responsibility over your life like any guy trying to figure out how to be a man should and watch the positive results that come from it.

25. Practice gratitude 

The world isn’t created equally.  You might’ve started off worse then a lot of other people you know.

But guess what?  There’s someone right now whose starving.  There’s people living on the streets during the winter.

Your life is a lot better than those people, and you have it better than 99% of humans who ever lived.

26. Be an all around alpha male

I talk about the true alpha male definition and what it means to be alpha.

Essentially, it comes down to being an alpha male in three core areas

1. Work/career
2. Relationships with women
3. Physically

Most men are beta in all three areas.  A few, probably around 5%, 10 being generous, are alpha in one of the three.

Even fewer, maybe 1% of guys are all around alpha males.  Being an alpha means you’re a leader in all areas.  Nobody has control over you.  If you become an all around alpha male, you won’t even need to learn how to be a man, you’ll already be one.

This is assuming you’re a decent human being.

The easiest way to be an all around alpha is to own your own business, have the dating life you want, and lift weights + martial art.  It’s easiest to be in control when you have options.  When you own your own business, you have options.  You can work with certain clients or say no to people who are bad for your business.  Lifting weights and knowing how to fight gives you the option to stand up for yourself.

27. Work More

I’ve had a lot of guys ask me what methods can they use to work harder.

When you’re learning how to be a man, working hard isn’t important.  It’s all about working more.

If you put in the hours, day after day, week after week, year after year, the results will come.

You need to work more.  How much are you working on your side business?  Are you AT LEAST spending a few hours on it each day?  That’s the bare minimum if you want a chance at success.  It’s not about working harder. You’re either working or you’re not.  The only time you can work harder is if you’re at a blue collar job, and in that case you can burn yourself out if you work too hard.

Whether it’s your side business or what the fuck ever, it’s about working more.  Ask yourself, are you really putting in the time that you should be?  Can you work more?  The answer is probably yes.

You can start to work less once you’ve built up your business or your game because a lot of it will be on autopilot.  But that’s after you’ve put the work in.  Spend time on your craft in order to achieve the results you want and progress in your journey to be a man.

28. Stop Calling Women Who Dumped you

Going back to an ex girlfriend is one of the worst things can guy can do.  Can it work out sometimes?  Yes, but don’t get your hopes up right away.

It didn’t workout for a reason.  And if you were to date her again, after she dumped you, she’d need to come  back.  And things would have to be different, like a new relationship.  While this happens sometimes, it’s best just to use a break up as a time to move on and level up.

Instead, cure your oneitis and move on with your life.  Your life is good because you’re in it, not because of someone you dated for a temporary amount of time.

If she dumped you, then you need to move on.  Let her live her life.  And start to live yours.

29. Understand eye contact

Training in the art of how to be a man requires you to get this eye contact thing down.

Understanding eye contact is also key for improving with your social dynamics.

Eye contact is important with

1. social / business settings
2. women choosing
3. gauging if other men are threats / attempting to challenge

First major use of eye contact is when meeting people in a social setting.  This is to acknowledge their presence and build rapport.  Making eye contact when shaking someone’s hand and continuing to use during conversation is common manners.  You should definitely use this in business as well to show that you care about your clients/prospects.

When women choose

The second major use of eye contact is when women are choosing you.

This means she’s looking at you because she’s interested.  It’s absolutely a game changer when you’re able to tell when a woman is choosing you.   The third major use of eye contact is when other men are trying to gauge your manhood.  This can also be called “mean mugging”.

If a guy is mean mugging you this means he’s gauging your manhood.  Doesn’t mean you have to fight right away, but either hold eye contact or look past him.  If you look down then you’re showing submission.

30. Learn how to Dance

Now I’ll admit, this is one of the few things you don’t need to learn how to be a man.

But, learning how to dance will make any man’s life so much better.  I had to put it down to remind you of that.  Learning how to dance is one the best things besides money that can even the playing field or get you significantly more attractive women.

If you’re monogamous and have a girlfriend/wife, learning how to dance will still greatly improve your life.  It will allow you to build more connection and sexual spark with your partner.  This is absolutely key to making a relationship work long term.

Plus, most men can’t dance for shit.  Back in the day, social dancing was more common place.  Today, most guys just know how to grab the hips of a woman who’s grinding on them.  Being able to actually dance with a woman will turn her on.

And, was you learn how to dance it’s fun!  Any man trying to improve his quality life should learn how to dance.  I recommend salsa or bachata.

31. Master solitude, it’s a lonely world for a man

Discovering how to be a man will involve mastering solitude.

It’s a lonely world for a man.  You must be able to be alone.  This will save you from bad relationships with women, friends, and even family.  The ability to be alone means you never depend on anyone’s validation.  Which means you’ll be able to do what you want in life and accomplish the goals you create for yourself.

If you’re unable to be alone then you’ll always be at the mercy of someone else.  The company of other people can add value to your life.  But don’t let it control you.  A man needs to cut off people from his life when they become toxic.

Males who are unable to be alone will lose their strength and be dependent on others.

32. Develop an indomitable Willpower

The world can be a very cruel and unforgiving place.  At the same time, it’s full of opportunity.

An indomitable willpower is necessary to push through the bad times and create the life you want.  This indestructible willpower won’t grow overnight.  It’s like a muscle that needs to be worked out.  Nevertheless, it’s mandatory to not just learn how to be a man, but to be a happy and fulfilled man.

Willpower is about avoiding things that bring long-term pain and chasing things that bring long-term happiness.  You can start small.  Avoid eating the cookies that you would usually have late at night.  Stop yourself from being distracted on social media and work on your side business for 20 minutes instead.

If you keep at it, eventually you’ll be eating healthy and spending hours on your side business everyday.

Willpower is something that every guy who really wants to develop into a man needs to work on.  Don’t be discouraged by other men who seem like they work so much and put you to shame with their success.  You can build up your willpower by taking small actions, and consistency growing those actions over time.

33. Create Charisma 

Charisma isn’t your aura.  It’s when you’re able to inspire others through attractiveness or charm.

This can be related to your look, but doesn’t mean you have to be the best looking person.  Attractiveness and charm in this sense refers to how you can make people feel.  Charismatic individuals make other people feel important.  Some people can think you’re charismatic, while others may not think so highly of you.

Learning to create charisma and inspire others is a valuable skill on your journey to master how to be a man.  It’s not a necessity, like standing up for yourself and being independent are.  However, it’s power is incredible.  If you can inspire other people then you yield tremendous influence.  Men who are extremely charismatic can be pimps, in the literal sense but metaphorically as well.

For example, a political leader is usually very similar to a pimp in that they’re charismatic.  They can get people to follow them and like them even after they make mistakes.  Pimps get hoes to give the, all their money, politicians get people to give them their votes.

34. Love life

Acquiring the knowledge on how to be a man, and actually putting in the effort, can be demanding.

It’s still important to love life.  There’s no point in working towards learning how to be a man if you’re going to be miserable.

In fact, the whole point in developing your manhood is to make you happier.

I believe this journey of life is so much better if you learn to love it. That probably involves changing a lot of shit I talk about on here, like your work/money and relationship situations.

Love life now

Nevertheless, loving life shouldn’t be delayed for when things are perfect in the far off future. If you’re doing something you like to do, then realize that and put in an active effort to be more joyful.

On the other hand, if you’re working a job you hate and don’t have the funds to leave, find the parts that you can love. Or have the dream of freedom that you’re working towards, and love that.  Having a positive attitude and loving the life you have is definitely affected by your circumstances, but also by how you chose to react.  Practicing gratitude, mentioned earlier, will play a big part in increasing your love for life.

35. Conquer your fears

Everybody has something they’re afraid of.  Your fears are there to protect you.  Survival instinct that is trying to keep you alive.  Things like grizzly bears charging you or heights that can kill you are signs you’re a sane person.  But in your pursuit of how to be a man, there may be fears that hold you back.  Fears like:

• going out and trying to meet women
• starting a business
• unsure if you can get clients
• moving away from your home town if it’s better for your business

These types of fears that are normal, but they’re ones you shouldn’t hold onto.  They’ll ruin your progress if you’re trying to learn how to be a man.

Holding on to these will cause you to get laid less and make less money. More importantly, these are fears that aren’t protecting you from anything actually dangerous.  You know conquering them will improve your life. Being a victim to them will not. These are the types of fears you need to destroy, otherwise you’ll live your life with regret.

36. Master time management

There’s a lot you can do with your 24 hours. Sleep for 6-8, and that leaves 16-18 hours for you to allocate each day to all of your other activities.

If you master how you spend your time, you can workout, go to your job, work on your side business, and maybe have a girl over or hang out with your girlfriend.  Or better yet, work on your own business 8-10 hours, work on side projects, and then have the girl over or go on a date.

This mastery of time management is doable with practice. Without time management, you’ll end up wasting hours each day on the internet or on Netflix doing nothing. If you spend 3 hours a day doing nothing, that’s 1/8 of your day. Over the course of your life, that’s 1/8 of your life you basically wasted.

Time management is essential 

Discovering how to be a man, especially a man who’s a winner, involves mastering your time management abilities.

Assuming you work a job, 8-5 or 9-5, plan the rest of your day around that. Workout in the morning at 6 or 7. After work, you have 6-11 or midnight open. How are you going to spend that time?

For example, Mondays you can grab dinner after work and spend all that time, 6-11 on your side business. Tuesdays can you spend 6-9 on your side business and have a girl over for an hour. Wednesdays can be like Mondays, etc.  The most important thing about time management is to create a schedule and stick to it. Every successful man is a master of his time.  It’s the ultimate measure of self-discipline.

37. Cultivate your Emotional Intelligence

As a man, you need to be able to read people. This will help you tremendously in business and with women.

In order to learn how to read people, and therefore interact with them effectively, you need to cultivate your emotional intelligence. This is the right side of your brain.

Many males, especially those who spend hours online strategizing about their life, are smart intellectually.  This is probably you if you’re reading this.  However, many males, maybe you maybe not, have very poor emotional intelligence.

These guys complain that women aren’t rationale or can’t figure women out. It’s usually because they have poor emotional intelligence.  People are emotional creatures. Women are more in tune with their emotions than men, but we all can be slaves to our emotions.

Cultivating your emotional intelligence involves the creative side of your mind.  To get started, don’t always take people’s word for everything.  This doesn’t mean assume they’re liars or trying to manipulate you, but try to understand their body language, demeanor, and what they’re ultimately trying to get.

In business and with women

In a business situation, you can look to see if your prospect is giving you eye contact, smiling, and generally facing you. If they are, and they say they want to do the deal, they’ll likely do it. If they’re looking away, distracted, constantly checking their phone, they can say they want to work with you, but might not actually be interested.

Same applies to women. Next time you’re with a woman in person, don’t worry about the exact words she says. Try to figure out the emotion she’s feeling.  For example, if you’re arguing with your girlfriend, then she’s angry or upset.

Responding to her with rationale facts probably won’t work.  Matching her anger probably won’t work as well, and it’s a waste of your energy. As a man, it also shows weakness that she’s able to rattle you.

Instead, you’re better off disengaging with her.

On the positive side, you could be on a date and talking about the weather, her commute, or something else boring.  If the girl is keeping strong eye contact with you and initiating physical contact, be in tune with the fact that she’s feeling good and might want to bone, even if the topic might be boring to you.

Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean you’re overly emotional.  It means you’re aware of other people’s emotions. Learning how to be a man involves the ability to pick up how others are feeling, and will make your life easier.

38. Have Style

Style is essential.  Every grown ass man needs to have at least a basic sense of style.

Your individual style can depend on you, where you live, time of the year, and where you’re at in life.  A 70 year old man isn’t going to have the same style as when he was 25.

A simple, easy suggestion for moderate whether is to go with dark jeans, a v-neck, and some decent shoes like Nike, converse, etc. and a watch.  If you’re dressing up a little more, then a dress shirt that and dress shoes along with the jeans, and a blazer, can go far.

Adapt to wear you live

If you live in the Pacific Northwest, you might wear flannels.  Or maybe you’re in New York and it’s winter, you’re going to be dressing for warmer weather like where a nice jacket.

I’m a minimalist in many ways, and think spending money on Gucci or high end designer brands is a waste of money.

But, buying some of the lower cost, small designer brands can carry you far.  I have a few dress shirts that are $80-120 each, but are absolutely worth it.  I feel great wearing them, girls compliment me a lot, and they’ve lasted for years.

Investing in your style shouldn’t be overlooked when you’re learning how to be a man. It will pay you in dividends, whether it’s for work or your social life.  You’ll get more respect for guys and you’ll do better with girls.   Even if you’re wearing nothing insane or fancy, it’s important for every man to be well put together.

39. Be open-minded about ideas and closed-minded about goals

An open mind will help you in many ways.  You’ll be able to explore new ideas and improve upon your current conditions. Reading this article with an open mind, for example, can help you by taking some of my ideas and applying them to your life.

Nevertheless, having an entirely open mind will stall you.  If you’re always open to new ideas, you’ll never focus on your own.  When it comes to your goals, like starting a business, you need to have a closed mind.  If you’re doing research on what type of business you want to start an open mind can serve you.  But once you start, you need to close that mind and be focused.  Down the line you can approach new strategies with an open mind.

However, I see way too many guys say yes to everything and trying to be open minded about every little thing.

Tunnel vision

If you want success in life, you have to close your mind and have tunnel vision.  There are definitely times to come out of that and adjust.  For the most part, especially at the be ginning, it’s all about closed minded focus.

Most successful people are close minded, at least when it comes to their goals. An open minded person would get distracted by the suggestions and commentary from others.

Elon Musk is a great example. I’m sure he’s open minded when he’s learning about rocket science or a new area of science.  Still, once he doubles down and starts a business, do you think he listening to all of the suggestions people try to give him, or the negativity?

Hell no.  He will take advice from his head scientists who advise him and who are part of his team.  But they are all very close minded about their goals.  Electric cars, going to Mars, whatever else it may be.

An open mind would expose him to toxic ideas and would cause him to give up.  On this journey to learn how to be a man you need to discern when to be open minded and when to be close minded.

40. Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs

Ideally, it’d be great not use any alcohol or drugs.

But a big part of learning how to be a man if self control and balance.  However, I like to get a drink or two when I go out on a date or even at home.  Nothing wrong with alcohol in moderation.  Other drugs can vary.  Some drugs like caffeine are also fine in moderation.  There are way too many to list here so I won’t.

At the end of the day, it’s your life.

The key is to have control and not go overboard with anything.  You can be smart and do research about drugs that you might use for pleasure or even medical purposes.

Developing yourself on how to be a man involves making the choices that are right for your health, well being, and productiveness.  That means knowing your limits when it comes to alcohol and other drugs.  I know guys that can very drunk and get up the next day and manage to be productive.  That’s not me, so I know even if 4 drinks doesn’t get me really drunk, I’m going to be more groggy the next day.  Certain people can drink 4 cups a coffee a day and feel fine. That would be too much for me.

It’s up to you to figure out what kinds of drugs you will use, how much, and how often.  A man needs to have self discipline and not over indulge.

41. Turn your Sexual Energy into Business Success

Dating can be a fun thing in life, especially when you’re young.

However, what the most successful men do is go beyond using their sexual energy to get sex.  They turn that sexual energy into business success, or success in whatever field they’re in.

A lot of the No Fap guys talk about the benefits of abstaining from masturbation / porn / sex.  And I can agree that there are lots of benefits of no fap for certain periods of time.  Overall though, while I agree porn is a big no, you don’t have to cut out sex from your life.

You just can’t be obsessed with it.  Obsession is for your purpose.  That’s why it’s good for guys to have some initial success with women, then realize you don’t need to spend all of your time dating.  You may go through periods of monk mode.  However, whether you’re dating women or not, semen retention can be invaluable towards your energy levels and success.

Think and Grow Rich

Then you can work on using that sexual energy and turning it into business success.  This is what Napoleon Hill talks about in “Think and Grow Rich”, which is a great book for learning about business, success, and I’d argue even on how to be a man in general.

I assume that if you’re reading this, then you’re an entrepreneur or want to become one.  If you want to learn not only how to be a man, but be independent and free from the matrix, then you have to be an entrepreneur.

It’s tough to be a successful entrepreneur if you’re always chasing women.

So, how do you turn your sexual energy into business success?

Stop beating off, stop ejaculating so often.  Focus that energy on a business that you love, helps others, and can make you money.

42. Learn how to Sell, Motivate, and Inspire

Every guy trying learn how to be a man needs to be the most successful he can possibly be.

You can’t be extremely successful without learning how to sell, motivate, and eventually inspire.  Selling is the first step.  A job in sales can earn you income without having a fancy degree.  However, selling is more than just a sales job.  Every interaction with other people is sales.

What you’re doing is selling even though you may not consciously think of it as sales.

Motivating people is a step above selling.  It’s successfully selling someone enough to make them take action.  You can motivate employees, women, friends, and most importantly yourself.

Lastly, being inspiring is the highest level of influence you can have.  It’s the final evolution of selling and one step above motivating.  Inspiring others means you get them to act in a more full and creative way.

Inspiring leaders can get their followers to give up their whole lives to achieve the leaders goal.  Those who truly inspire will continue to do so even after they’ve died and leave this plane of existence.

43. Develop a Rebel’s Mentality

If you want to not just learn how to be a man, but you want to live life on your own terms, you need to develop a rebel’s mentality.

Adopting a rebel’s mentality means you can expand beyond the boundaries society tries to condition you to conform to.

Getting a job, becoming a wage slave, always living paycheck to paycheck, buying a house on massive debt, and so on. These are things society (big companies advertising, politicians, school system, and family) directly and indirectly encourage you to do.

You don’t have to do these things if you don’t want to.  For most of human history you had no choice.  But today, anyone can start their own business create the life they want.

Growing into your manhood and integrating the Rebel’s Mentality doesn’t mean you have to destructive or a rebel without a cause.  It means you rebel against the mental cage that you’re heavily influenced to stay in and learn to think for yourself.

Become a Rebel

Becoming a rebel means that you say no to what other people want for your life and you do what you want to do on your own terms.

If you want the typical middle class life that’s fine.  If you want to do something else, then that’s also fine.  What it comes down to the end of the day is having options, and choosing the best option for you.

I’m not against having kids or even dating one person.  But I’m heavily against men just doing what they’re told and not thinking for themselves.    The real knowledge on how to be a man is gained when a guy becomes a rebel in his own life by stepping up to manhood, doing something you love, making money with it, and making the world better because you were here.

Become a Rebel!

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