How to be an Alpha Male in a relationship (and avoid betaization)

How to be an Alpha Male in a relationship

I write a lot of my content for players, but if you have a girlfriend then you absolutely need to know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Because if you actually learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship then you have the best chance at having a great experience and being authentic.

Benefits of learning how to be an alpha male in a relationship

If you learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you’ll get the benefits of

  • a loyal girlfriend
  • healthy relationship
  • having a girl who will back you up when times get tough

There are very few real men out there.  If you learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship, you’re going to get a woman who is loyal, wants to be with you, and will have your back.

If you know how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you have a much better chance at having a relationship that will last.  When it does end, it will be on your terms.

Don’t be a beta 

nice guy

If you fail to figure out how to be an alpha male in a relationship, then you’re headed for the beta  route.  Betas have to worry about things like

  • getting dumped at any random point by their girlfriend
  • cheated on
  • getting controlled by a woman due to you pedestalizing her

Hopefully by now you’re convinced you should know how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  You won’t be able to be your authentic self because you’ll always be subject to how she’s acting.  Assuming you’re in a relationship or looking to get into one, you need to learn how to lead.

Women want a strong man who will lead.  They want a man who can be himself, speak his mind, yet have control over himself and maintain a masculine frame.

Your Purpose comes first

start a business instead

The first step toward being the alpha male is to always put your purpose first.  Your purpose is a business, that combines something you

  • love to do
  • are highly skilled at
  • can make money with

Your purpose can also be taking care of your family or a spiritual path.  But it can’t just be to make a woman happy.  While you can be a good boyfriend or husband, your goal in life needs to be bigger.  You need to be a captain in your life and your woman can join your ship.

A purpose gives you something greater.  Whether it’s a business, your family (which can include your woman but not limited to her), or a spiritual disposition.  A girl can be an important part of your life.  But a man needs a greater purpose.  She can help you accomplish this or be a part of supporting you.  That purpose in of itself can’t just be her.  It needs to be a greater ideal.

This will also keep you away from your woman enough.  Not too much, as you don’t want to be long distance or not give enough effort into a relationship.  But enough to the point you have something to focus your energy on.

Your value is in your potential 

buy a sports car when you're rich

Don’t worry about competing with your girlfriend for attention from the opposite sex.  If she’s attractive, she’ll always have guys hit on her.  She’ll always have options.  But you keep your value high in other ways.  As a man, your value isn’t based in how many girls you can sleep with.

It’s based on your potential and the difference you can make.  You can realize your potential by focusing on your purpose and your money.  If you do this, then you’ll know how to be an alpha make in a relationship.  Because you’ll have the confidence and aura that comes with a man on his purpose.  Which is a man who’s fulfilled and a man who’s making money.

This is not the only step, but it is the most important when learning how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Lift like your life depends on it

Another way to be the leader in your relationship is to lift like your life depends on it.

This means stay in shape, stay looking good, and keep those muscles strong.  Women are still very physical creatures.  And they like a man with some muscle.  At the very least be a guy whose in shape and not packing on the fat.

Lifting weights will take you away from your girl for a while, be it only an hour or so.  But it still shows that you have the priorities.   It’s a lot easier to be seen as the alpha if your girlfriend or wife is attracted to you, just as you are  to her.  By lifting weights and keeping your body strong, you also help keep your mind strong.  It takes a level of mental strength and discipline to do something consistently like hit the gym.

Be the leader and make decisions

man leading relationship

At the core, knowing how to be an alpha male in a relationship is about leading.  If you’re the leader, then you’re the alpha.  Don’t worry about always being dominant over her.

Just be a rock solid man and make decisions.  Stop questioning yourself.  Decide what you’re going to do and do it.

Make the decisions.  Decide on where you’re going to go eat, what your plan is for the day, and how you two are going to operate.

Avoid betaization

curing oneitis

You now know what you need to do to be the alpha in your relationship.  But while all this makes sense, or can easy to do that the beginning, it’s more difficult to maintain throughout a relationship.

Most men become a beta in their relationships over time.  Or in other words, betaization happens to them.  Their woman tests them over time, and they start to fail tests more and more.  Which leads to her gaining more power in the relationship.  And eventually, she’s leading the relationship more than 50% of the time.

Betaization is terrible for you as a man and it will kill your relationship.

Don’t be mad at the woman for trying to beta-ize you

It’s your girlfriend’s / wive’s fault that she’s beta-izing you.  Pointing it out to her or getting mad about it won’t do anything.  She’s testing you, without even knowing it, trying to see if you’ll fold.  And once she reverses things and leads you, she loses respect and the relationship is over.

Instead of getting mad at her for it, just realize it’s natural.  And the only reason she’s continuing to test you is because you’re failing.  You’re failing to maintain your masculinity and check her.  This triggers her instincts to test you further and see what you’re made of.

Women test men to make sure they have a strong man and then he stays strong.  Every woman will do this.  If you hold yourself as a man, then you’re naturally pass the tests and keep the alpha position.

You’ve forgotten how to be an alpha male in a relationship but she views it as you’ve forgotten how to be a man.

Giving you less sex, demanding you stop working as much, nagging you and having a worse mood then before.  These are all ways she tries to break you down over time to beta-ize you.

Again, don’t get mad.  Instead, you need to realize that she’s doing this because you’re forgetting how to be an alpha male in a relationship.

Be a Leader in your relationships with women

how to be an alpha male - don draper

If this has already happened to you, then you need to do everything you can to be the alpha in the relationship.

  • Grind harder on your business
  • Make more money
  • Get in killer shape

The biggest way men become betas in their relationships over time is that they give in to the demands of their girlfriend / wife.

You need to stick to your guns.  And you need to check her when she disrespects you.  Don’t tolerate her behavior when it starts to get bad.  Don’t ever beg her for sex.  Address issues head on and if she doesn’t agree to terms that you agreed upon initially, which you always set at the beginning of a relationship, you need to be willing to talk away.

Maintain self control and respect

If you do this, then you can avoid betaization and stay the alpha male in your relationship.  Your woman will love you more for it.  As she wants a man who will take care of her, yet at the same time stand up for himself.  Because if a man can’t stand up against his woman, then she’ll think you can’t stand up to other people.  Even if that’s not true, that’s what her subconscious will think.

Follow the steps above to learn how to be an alpha male in a relationship.  If you maintain your self respect and  have control over your emotions, you can lead from a strength of reason, authority, and calmness. Then you can have a healthy relationship with a woman who values you.

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Fran

Very good, well done. F aged 27

Terrence Smythe
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Terrence Smythe

Awesome advice..ill read this daily