How to be an Alpha Male: Only 1 trait you need

How to be an Alpha Male

how to be an alpha male - don draper

It’s not hard to learn how to be an alpha male.

Whether you’re a good man or an evil man is up to you.

There are alpha males who do good things in the world and those who do fucked up, terrible things.

But there’s one you need to do to learn how to be an alpha male.


And that’s to be selfish.

If there’s one defining trait of all alpha males is that they put themselves first.

They do what’s best for them.  They may also help other people and do what’s best for others.  Or they may fuck other people over and live bad lives.

But regardless of good or bad, alpha males are selfish.

They put their own self interest first.

Put yourself first

anthony joshua training - putting himself first

Learning how to be an alpha male means you need to become selfish.

But that’s not enough.

You can be selfish but still be a beta loser.

It’s like squares and rectangles.

All squares are rectangles.  But not all rectangles are squares.

All alpha males are selfish.  But not all selfish men are alpha males.

You can be a selfish weasel, a rat, who’s a coward and nothing but a parasite.

Or you be learn how to be an alpha male.  If you’re reading this, then it’s safe to assume you to want choose the latter.

Can you be an alpha male? 

So you want to take the next step and become an alpha male?

Well, let me just say it’s possible.

Yes, you can learn how to be an alpha male.  You’re not completely fucked.

Every man is born the same.

It’s the conditions we grow up in that determine if we’re alpha or not.

Some men are more naturally alpha and dominate then others.  However, in today’s day and age, you’re not limited to what you’ve become.

There’s so much information on how to become an entrepreneur, get better with women, and take control of your life.

You can lift weights and learn how to fight.

You can learn how to defend yourself against manipulation and instead manipulate others.

So you can figure out how to be an alpha male.

But it’s going to take a lot work.

You can’t just become an alpha overnight.

Should you be an alpha male?

thor confused

Becoming an alpha male isn’t for the majority of men.

If you want to be a good boy and never want to hurt anyone’s feeling, stop reading this now.

If you don’t want to take control stop reading.  And if you give too many fucks what society thinks or living up to social pressures, then this isn’t for you.

You don’t want to be seen as a jerk at times?  Then just get the fuck out of here.

Because if you want to learn how to be an alpha male, you’re going to have to do these things.

It’s not for everyone.

So should you even want to be an alpha male?

If you want to win at everything in your life, then yes, you should.

You don’t have to be the best at everything, no man is.

But you know that you have the potential if you’re willing to put in the work.

If you want to have financial freedom, women, and physical power, then you should learn how to be an alpha male.

The desire to win is what’s important.

Because it’s a competitive world.  It takes a ton of effort to become financially free, get good with women, and obtain physical power.

You may have one, two, or none of these areas down naturally.

For example, you may be a big, strong man, but not be good with women.

Or you may be a strong man, be good with women, but have no freedom because you work a job you hate.

If you’re alpha in one of these areas, then you’re off to a better start than most men.  But that’s not good enough if you want to be a truly dominate man.  A real winner.

Alpha male in core areas

be a leader

And although being selfish is the only trait you need, it has to be applied to the core areas in your life.

Because you can be alpha in some areas of your life, yet not others.

The core areas, the ones I mentioned above, are your

  • business / money
  • women
  • body / physicality

In other situations, you can be the alpha male or not depending on circumstances.

Can’t be an alpha male in every situation

For example, if you go to a dance class, the instructor is the alpha male in that setting.  Even if you’re the biggest, strongest guy, the instructor is in charge.

Or if you’re on an airplane.  The pilot is the alpha male.  You can act tough or act as if you run the plane.  But the pilot is the boss.  He flies the plane and is the one ultimately in charge.

So you won’t be able to learn how to be an alpha male in every situation possible.

But you can become an alpha in your core three areas.

And at least be a man in unknown situations where you by default can’t be the alpha.

How to be an alpha male: Each core area

Learning how to be an alpha male, or the most alpha you can be, just requires that you become selfish with your business, your relationships with women, and your body / physicality.

Selfish with your business

start a business instead

You can’t become a dominate man if you don’t own your own time.

Working a job means you have a boss.

Having a boss means you’re not an alpha male.

I hated having a boss, and it was one of the main reasons I left my job and became selfish with my business / money.

If you own a business, you still have to treat your clients and customers well.

But you’re the boss.  You own your own time.  And you control access to resources, aka your money.

This is the most important aspect of your life to be selfish in.  Especially in today’s modern era.

Business is everything

Being selfish with your business means that your business is your everything.

It’s the most important thing in your life.  At least until you’ve made enough money to retire.  But even then, your business should still be a high priority.

Your business is a money making machine.  It’s literally your source of survival in this economic world we live in.

To be a alpha male with your finances, you need to control your finances.

This is only done through owning a business.

If you don’t own a business or control your own money, then you can’t be a true alpha male.

And if you’re in your 20’s, then you need to focus on building your wealth and getting rich.

I would argue until you hit 40, money and business has to be your primary focus in life.

Which means not only growing your own business, but avoiding it also means

You can spend more money once you’re making a lot of money on your own and have increased your wealth.

Passion, Purpose or Money?

Realize that many people, like motivational youtube videos, will tell you to follow your passion, and the money will follow.

This works out for some people, and it’s great when it does.  But the red pill truth is that this will lead many people to homelessness or their mom’s basement.

Don’t just blindly follow your passion.

Create a purpose for your life.

A purpose combines something you’re

  • passionate about, or at least enjoy
  • good at, or can get good at
  • can make you money

So pick something you love, or at least enjoy, and make a business out of it.

You can do what you love, but you can also just do something you like.

The key is to develop a purpose around your work life.  Whether that’s the work itself, or the reason you’re doing it.

Entrepreneur vs Employee mindset

producer's create

If you want to become selfish about your business, then you need to develop the entrepreneur’s mindset, and ditch your employee mindset.

You need to stop thinking like an employee and instead think like an entrepreneur.

You can’t be selfish with your business if you’re dreaming about

  • benefits
  • vacation time
  • beer after work

As an entrepreneur, you need to be focused on the

  • long-term vision of the company
  • revenue
  • 100% responsibility
  • the market you’re in
  • grinding your ass off

Focus and work more

Learning how to be an alpha male in business requires you to act like a business owner.

Becoming a successful business owner comes down to working more and being laser focused on the right things.

Because if you focus the right things, put in the work needed, and start to see success, momentum will build.

And you’ll naturally be more selfish with your business.

Which means you’ll make money and be free.  If you can adopt the entrepreneur’s mindset, then you won’t need to learn how to be an alpha male when it comes to business.  You’ll already be one.

You’ll make the shift from employee to entrepreneur, and from consumer to producer.

Selfish with women

While business is the most important, there are still beta bucks rich guys who are bad with women.

You need to be selfish with your relationships with women.

Which, like business, means what’s doing in your best interest.

Not getting married

avoid getting married

The number 1 thing you need to absolutely avoid is getting married.

This doesn’t make you an alpha male by any means.  By it prevents you from becoming a super beta, or a man who loses everything in divorce.

Marriage takes away your power.  It puts you at the mercy of another person.  Your wife will more likely than not have the ability to take half your net worth away if she wants to divorce.

Plus alimony and child support, and even access to kids if you have any.

This means that marriage is a no go.

The risk for divorce is 50%.  The benefit for marriage is small in return.  You could have a long term girlfriend and get almost all the same benefits.

Alpha males are selfish with their relationships.  You can’t be that selfish with the constant threat of getting divorced raped and losing everything.

Being a player or playboy

Learning how to be an alpha male with women means you need to be a player or playboy at some point in your life.

If you want to be a top tier guy with women, then you need to have experience with women.

Ideally getting laid on the first date, but getting it by the second or third will do.

Here’s some red pill tips for getting it in quickly.

Fuck more women

You don’t necessarily have to fuck over 100 women.

But you definitely have to fuck more than the average, which is 7 or 8.  I recommend guys fuck at least 10-20 girls so you have some decent game.

And it’s hard to put an exact number on what constitutes an alpha male due to factors like logistics, quality of the women, and so on.

But if you’ve fucked 30-40 women in your lifetime, with most decent looking, some uglies, and some pretty attractive girls, then you can consider yourself an alpha male with women.

You don’t need to fuck 200 or 300 girls to be an alpha.  Not everyone has the desire or time to dedicate their life to picking up women.

However, if you’ve fucked at least 30 women, and upwards of 40, and you have standards (with some uglies in there, it happens), then you’re alpha with women.

Leader with Girlfriends and FWB

man leading woman home

Besides just smashing girls, you also have to be the leader.

If you’re a good looking guy and fuck a bunch of women, but end up being a bitch when you get in a relationship, you’re not a leader.

And figuring out how to be an alpha male with women means you need to learn to lead in your relationships.

It’s never 100%, just total control over a women and she has 0 say.  Unless you’re a pimp or at a higher level of game.

It will usually be 80 / 20 or 70 / 30.  But it should clearly be you as the head dog.

So besides just fucking over 30 women, mostly of decent looks, you need to be the leader in your relationships.

Whether it’s your girlfriend, or just girls you see casually but on a regular basis.

Being selfish will naturally make you the leader.  You’ll do things on your schedule, when it suits you.  She’ll have to get with your program.

The sad truth many of you have to accept is that women like selfish men, they don’t like weak men who cater to the woman’s life.

So if you’re selfish when you deal with women, you’ll naturally become more of an alpha male.

Selfish with your body and physicality 

how to be an alpha male - body and muscle

Finally, the last core area you need to learn how to be an alpha male in is with your body and physicality.

If you let people fuck with you, beat you up, then you’re not an alpha male.

Laws are ruthless in today’s society.  I don’t advise fighting people when you don’t need to.

But… you still need to be a man.  You want to have a presence that deters others from fighting and punching you.

And if you need to fight, then you have to tools to do so.  Doesn’t mean you’ll always win.

Nevertheless, if you stand up for yourself, then at least as close to be as alpha as you can get.

Anyways, you need to be selfish with your body and physicality.  If you’re a large man and typically the biggest guy in a room, then you don’t need to do much.  You’re already an alpha male in your physical presence.

For everyone else, you need to lift weights and learn how to fight.

Lift weights

alpha males like arnold lift weights

Lifting weights has numerous benefits.

Doing so consistently will

  • give you energy
  • focus
  • increase your physical strength
  • develop mental toughness
  • raise your SMV

For your physicality, the increase in strength and muscle size will make you more of a threat to males and attractive to females.

If you’re an averaged sized man, then you’ll likely never be the biggest guy when you go to a club or bar.

But the added muscle will help with avoiding confrontation and give you a better chance at winning if a contraction arises.

If you go to decent venues and live in a good part of town, you should never have to worry about ever getting into altercations.  But lifting weights will still help you to rise the physical hierarchy.

Learn how to fight

Another way to be selfish with your body and physicality is to know how to use it.

Training in boxing, muay thai, bjj, or mma will keep you in great shape.  You won’t necessarily get bigger or stronger though.

But learning how to fight does two things.

It massively increases your confidence to handle a physical altercation from other alphas or groups of betas. In turn, the way you carry yourself changes.

You have more confidence, a powerful calmness about you.  This raises your physicality in any social environment.

And you can actually back that shit up when need be.

If someone try to fuck with you, your friends, or a girl you’re with, you’ll be able to step in.  Unless you’re dealing with gangsters or thugs, you should be able to calm down most situations.

Knowing how to fight can help you to prevent fights because there’s no over compensation needed.  At the same time, you can throw down and defend yourself.

The experience you gain training in real combat tested martial arts will help you to learn how to be an alpha male in physical situations.

Beta habits to avoid

Learning how to be an alpha male requires being top tier in the core areas.

If you’re able to be dominant with your business, women, and in physical situations, then you’re covering most of your bases.

But, it’s easy to fall into old habits if you’re not watching out for them.

Most of your life problems come from not being selfish in one of these three core areas.  And if you’re not being selfish with your business, women, or physicality, it’s usually because you developed one of these 4 beta habits:

  1. Oneitis
  2. Not prioritizing your business
  3. Laziness with your body
  4. Complaining


curing oneitis

Oneitis is when you’re obsessed with one girl.

It’s usually a girlfriend, or ex girlfriend.  Or soon to be ex girlfriend.

This happens when you’re not selfish with your relationships with women.

You stop putting yourself first.

And instead, you put one specific girl on a pedestal.

Absolutely, one of the biggest mistakes you can make.  But most men make it at least once in their lives.

Hopefully you don’t have to make it more than once.

There’s a lot of things you can do to cure oneitis.  It takes time and an active effort.

You need to fuck more girls, reconnect with your boys, and focus on your purpose.

Not prioritizing your business

stop cheating on yourself

Your business, which is the manifestation of your purpose, needs to be your #1 priority.

Good things happen when you put your business first.

You make money.  This gives you freedom from a wage slave job, the ability to travel and live where you want, and the ability to help yourself and your family.

Money is access tor resources.  So if you like shit, you need money.

As men, we also need to work.  We need to have something that’s challenging and that we enjoy.  It feels amazing to have a productive day of work doing something you enjoy.

When your prioritize your business, you get this feeling of accomplishment.

But when you neglect your business, you feel like shit.

Because you neglected your money making machine.  If you’re not rich yet, then you need to prioritize your business.  Be selfish with your pursuit for accomplishment and greatness.

Laziness with your body

biggest mistake, being lazy

Your business is still your #1, but you can’t get lazy with your body.

Create a routine and stick to it.

That may be lifting 3 or 4 times a week.  Or it can be lifting 1-2 times a week and doing a martial art 3-4 times a week.

Keeping a routine to keep your body in shape will make you feel better, give you energy, keep you attractive to women, and will keep your brain sharper.

Don’t get lazy with your workouts.

If you miss one then make up for it.  Unless you’re being ultra productive with your business, you shouldn’t be taking a backseat to your physical fitness and health.


don't complain

Don’t complain.

Be too busy with getting shit done to complain.

It might seem like I complain about how the world is and how things are.  But in my day to day life, I don’t complain in my self talk or when I talk with others.

I only explain how shitty things can be to give you guys the truth about the way things work.

It’s shitty feminists have fucked up the agenda and influenced modern males to be bitches.  It’s shitty that we’re trained to take wage slave jobs.

But I only say that shit to wake you guys up.

Too many men complain

By some of the comments I read, I can tell that you guys complain too much.  It’s easy to complain, because there’s a lot of stupid shit going on.  But you don’t have time for that shit.

All the time I complained about my full time sales job in the corporate world did nothing for me.  My self pity got me nowhere.

What got me somewhere was doing work I didn’t want to do, saving my money by spending less, and starting a business.

And grinding on that business.

Complaining was a complete waste of time for me, and I know it is for you too.

Don’t waste your time with the black pill ideology.

See the positive, what you can do with what you’re given.  Whether you call that red pill, being a player in life, or whatever.

Don’t complain.  On your journey to learn how to be an alpha male, you just don’t have time for that shit.

Maintain, Strive, and Thrive

It’s not just enough to learn how to be an alpha male.  You have to also maintain what you’ve built and strive for more.

True alpha males are always aiming for the next goal, the next achievement.

If you learn to get high on success, with your business as #1, and a sharp body and good relationships as side activities, you’ll be an all around alpha male.

A real man who gets shit done in his life, had fun with women, and feels great about where he’s going.

It’s a lot of work to figure out how to be an alpha male.

But it’s worth it.

You’ll be working hard, but you’ll also be happy.  Success feels amazing.  And when you’re getting all of the things that you want, you’ll be in a batter mood.

It feels great to be a boss among men.  Trust me, it’s worth the effort, time, and years of sacrifice.  Work on yourself, achieve great things, and feel amazing about your life.

Be selfish with the core areas of your life.  Be selfish with this one life you have.  That’s how you become an alpha male.

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Mickey Lee

I am a Socially Inept person and I want to attract the girls at my workplace. I have low confidence because of my looks, height and size. I also have a low sense of humour and my only sense of humour is sarcasm. I am mostly nervous and anxious and scared if I said the wrong things or make another person angry or sad.