How to Deal with Rejection
Figuring out how to deal with rejection with girls and in life is a critical part of any mans journey to success. Whether you want to improve your dating life or grow your business, you’re going to need to handle rejection in the right way.
Because not everyone will see the value you offer. Knowing how to deal with rejection is part of life and and essential part of of the path success.
Rejection is a mini failure
Rejection can be difficult if you’re not used to it. After all, someone is literally saying no to you. They don’t want what you have to give them. It can be a girl who doesn’t want to go on a date or sleep with you. It could be a girlfriend who no longer wants to be with you. And it can apply to business as well. In sales, there will be plenty of potential customers or clients who reject you.
You might feel like you failed after getting rejected. And that makes sense, because getting rejected is having a mini failure. But if you let it affect your mindset and how you feel, then you’ll start to get negative. You’ll become bitter towards women who reject you or towards prospects in business.
But bitterness is a mistake. It’s not going to get you any closer to your goal of improving your dating life or making more money. Instead, you need to avoid getting into a negative mind frame and learn how to deal with rejection the right way.
If rejection doesn’t bother you then you’re ahead of the pack. But for most of us, we need to figure out how to deal with rejection by re-framing the situation in our own heads. And this is exactly what this article is for.
Dealing with rejection
These mental strategies will help you to think about your rejection in a positive way. The objective is to use one, two, or as many of these as you need when you get rejected. After each rejection, remember these mind frames to destroy the negative thoughts that come up.
That way you can avoid killing any momentum you’re building and continue to get what you want.
1. Realize it’s a numbers game
Knowing how to deal with rejection is a lot easier when you realize it’s just a numbers game. Even self proclaimed pick up artists admit that they only sleep with less than 10% of women they approach. As a player, you can minimize this by going after girls who like you.
But you’ll still get rejected. There’s a variety of reasons. You could’ve messed up, or she just wasn’t that interested. Either way, it’s just another day in the life.
Rejection happens. Even after you match with girls on tinder or hinge and message them, many won’t respond. The ones who do then will eventually stop responding or will flake if you don’t have your game tight. And what you’re left with is a small percentage that you end up meeting up with and sleeping with. Even with the tightest game, rejection is part of the process. That being said, if you get your text game right, you can dramatically reduce the amount of flakes you get.
When you get rejected, tell yourself that had to happen. Either your game was good and it was just part of the numbers game, or there’s something better you can do so you learn.
It’s the same in business. When I worked my sales job, the majority of businesses ignored by emails and calls. Only a minority of them would respond with any interest to me. From there, only a smaller percentage would ever do a meeting or a call. And from there only a few ever did business with me. But that’s the name of the game.
If you know it’s a numbers game going into things, then you won’t be disappointed when it happens. It’s part of the process.
The best looking guys get rejected by women. And the best sales guy get rejected and lose deals all the time.
2. Each rejection gets you closer to your goal
Every time you get denied, you’re one step closer to your goal. Learn how to handle rejection by realizing each one will make you better. You can learn from each rejection if you made mistakes. And if you did everything you were supposed to, then you’re just one step closer to not getting rejected.
If you look at rejection as a necessity, then you won’t be so afraid of it. If you want to sleep with a lot of women, then you’re going to get rejected by even more women.
And it’s the same in business. I closed a lot of business at my corporate sales job. I wasn’t the worlds best sales guy. But I just called on a lot of people. And the more people I called on, the more meetings I got, the more proposals I sent out, and the more business I closed.
3. It’s not personal
Rejection isn’t personal. The other person just didn’t want what you’re selling. If a girl doesn’t like you, it’s not personal. You’re just not her ideal guy. Cool. She can’t like every guy around. She doesn’t like you then that’s just nature.
Same in business. People don’t buy form you because they don’t see the value. Okay, cool. Just because others don’t see the value you provide, it doesn’t mean you don’t provide any. It just means that it’s not for them. Not every woman will like you and not every person will want your product or service.
It’s not a personal attack against your character. They just aren’t feeling it. Realize that many people won’t feel your energy and that’s fine.
4. They’re missing out
I feel bad when a girl doesn’t want to date me or a person doesn’t get to see the value of my business. Because they’d be better off if they were able to experience it.
When a girl doesn’t want to sleep with me, she’s missing out on some of the best sex of her life. She’s missing out on feeling all of her emotions and experiences different levels of pleasure. Man, that sucks for her. I feel bad she won’t experience me. But hey, I’m sure she’ll get by somehow.
Same with my business. When men don’t see value in what I do that’s fine. I feel bad that they’re missing out in what I provide. They’re potentially missing out on learning how to escape their shitty job, cure oneitis over the girl they can’t get over, or learning how to fuck women so they get addicted.
Knowing how to deal with rejection isn’t hard when you realize it’s not you who’s losing. It’s the other person. They’re missing out on what you bring to the table.
5. You feel 100% no matter what
Your self worth isn’t based off if this person accepts you or not. No matter what, you always feel 100%. You’re not approaching the girl to feel good about her liking you. If she’s not into you, then cool, you can now spend more time talking to other girls. How you feel about yourself has nothing to do whether she likes you or not. If she does then you can have a fun time with her. And if not then you will put your energy towards someone else. But either way, it’s not a big deal.
With business you know that the service/product you’re selling is going to help the customer. If they don’t see the value then no worries. You still 100% about your worth as a man and the value your company brings to the table. The reason you’re selling isn’t to feel good about having customers accept you. It’s about helping them and making money. Figuring out how to deal with rejection is easy if you don’t base your happiness on the results you get. Feel 100% about yourself whether you get rejected or succeed.
Expect to get rejected in life
It’s much easier to know how to handle rejection when you expect it. You’re always going for the goal. Which is to get her number, a date, or to your place. Or maybe it’s advancing the relationship. With business you’re trying to get the sale or a partnership.
You’re positive about the future and always going for it.
But the expectation is rejection. Not that you always expect it. In fact you should think that anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. Women are lucky to sleep with you or date you. Clients are lucky that you’re the one helping them in their business or life.
But you expect that not everyone will see that. That you expect each individual to potentially reject you and that’s cool. You’re the shit. But not every girl or business person will see that.
You expect rejection because you know that a lot of people don’t have good taste or simply aren’t ready for what you can give them. And that’s fine. You’re not desperate to fuck that girl or get that specific deal. Because you know that you’ll have plenty of success.
If you get rejected then good, because that’s the normal. You know not everyone will reject you, you’re just there to see through who are the lucky ones who get to experience dating you or receiving your services.
How to handle rejection – Minimize it
But of course, you want to minimize the amount of times you get rejected. This way you can focus more on your success.
You need to know how to deal with rejection so it doesn’t bother you. That being said, we’re not pick up artists approaching a million women. We don’t have time to go out every night of the week. And in business we want to optimize our time as well.
That’s why on one end you make sure you know how to handle rejection by not letting it slow you down and accepting it. And on the other hand, you work on minimizing it.
You minimize rejection by raising your value. As a man in the dating game, this means raising your sexual market value with your looks, money, and status. In business, you make the best product/service in your niche and make sure there’s demand for what you’re selling.
You also get better with experience. The more women you talk to, sleep with, and date, the better you’ll get at avoiding rejection. It will still happen, but when it does, it will be due to the numbers game rather than a mistake you made. In business, you’ll learn to master sales and not lose a deal due to an error on your end.
Rejection is part of the game
I’ll end this article with a story about Chad.
Do you think Chad fucks every girl he talks to? No. You may see good looking or bad boys do well with women. But they also get rejected and make mistakes too.
Rejection is part of the game for everyone. If you level up in life, you’ll get rejected less and less. But if you’re going after the hottest women or the best clients, you’re going to get rejected. It’s part of the game. Obviously you want to minimize rejection as time goes on. And you will with experience as your game in different areas of your life develops.
You can’t avoid rejection. Learn to use it as a tool to learn from. Sometimes you made a mistake. And sometimes you do everything right but the person or situation isn’t happening. Become tougher because of it.
Every man must face rejection
Our ancestors had to hunt to get food. They had unsuccessful hunts, hunts that didn’t give them much food, and finally they’d have a hunt where they got a solid kill. As they matured as men they got better at hunting. They learned when to hunt, where their prey lived, and the best way to kill the prey. They’d get better with their spears or bows and arrows. But even at their prime, they’d still fail.
Did they give up? No, that wasn’t an option.
Rejection is the same way. Keep on moving forward and you’ll get to where you want to be.