June 13

How to Get Out of the Friend Zone


How to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Many men want to figure out how to get out of the friend zone with a particular girl.  For whatever reason, they became “friends” with a girl and never got anywhere with her.  But they’re still friends with her and maybe a texting buddy or something else.

I didn’t even want to do this article.  But when I googled “how to get out of the friend zone” and read what popped up, it was disgusting to me.  Too many posts and blogs are telling you guys to ask these girls out, talk with the girl about if she likes you, or take her on an expensive date.

All of that is terrible advice from beta like guys.

If you want a nice dose of red pill and learn how to get out of the friend zone for real, then this is your best chance.

Do this one thing…

Are you ready?  Want to know how to escape the friend zone with this girl?

Stop being friends with her

That’s it.  Stop being her texting buddy.  Stop going out to be her shopping buddy or gossip partner.  Cut out all of it out. Do the alpha males spend all their time talking to girls that aren’t interested in them? Do the bad boys let women friend zone them even though they really want to get at them?


And neither should you.  Just stop talking to her and go pursue other women.

The truth

Chances are you won’t get with her.  Yes, they are beta orbiters who get to date a girl after being in the friend zone for a few years and get her while she’s vulnerable.  But that’s a long waiting game.  And even then, your chances are very low.  Even if you end up sleeping with or dating the girl, she’ll have the power in the relationship.

She doesn’t have real respect for you as a man.  Maybe she has basic human decency towards you and values your non sexual attention.

But women know that you want to sleep with and date them.  While you’re trying to figure out how to get out of the friend zone, she’s busy chasing the guys she actually likes.

In the time it will take you maybe fuck her, you could’ve had great relationships and sex with other women who actually valued you.

You should have made a move 

You should’ve made your move when you first met her.  And if she wasn’t into it, then you should’ve moved on and not beed a friend.

It’s not her fault you’re in the friend zone.  She didn’t put you there.  You put yourself there.  Women want attention from men, and because you have no respect or you’re just busy, you gave up your attention and gave it to her.  It’s your fault that you’ve ended up in the friend zone.

The easiest way for knowing how to get out of the friend zone with a girl is to stop being friends with her.  There’s no reason to waste your energy on giving a girl validation who isn’t interested in you sexually or romantically.

Communicating low value

When you stay friends with a girl you’re interested in but who’s not interested in you, you’re communicating low value.  You’re saying that she’s good enough to get your non-sexual attention but you’re not good enough to get her sexual attention.

Men value sex and women value attention.  Of course women like sex and men also like attention.  However, a valuable man can get sex easily, and a valuable women can get attention easily.  Do I think that men should try to get as much sex as possible?  No, I think being promiscuous and trying to sleep with as many girls as possible is not the ideal path.  Just like I think women chasing attention is also not ideal.

However, it’s about the ability to do so.  A man who values himself and is actually valuable in the dating world isn’t going to be in a woman’s friend zone.  That is, unless he has no desire to be with her and is actually friends.  If a man wants to be with a woman and she is taken or isn’t interested, he accepts that and moves on.

You’re only in the friend zone with women if

  1. you want to get at them and you never make a move,
  2. or you do make a move, they reject you, and yet you still give them attention.

By giving her attention and not getting sex or having a dating interaction with her, you’re showing that she’s more valuable than her.  And the cycle will only continue.  Because women are attracted to guys that she sees as more valuable, not less.

Get out of her friend zone 

If you cut her off, you’re signaling you’re not a little attention sponge for her.

Chances are, you’ll move on with your life and won’t hear from her.  But, if she thought you were at least cute or had some interest in you, even small, then this will be amplified.

Women keep men in the friend zone as back ups.  Some of these men are back ups for sex or potential beta boyfriends, while most are back ups for attention.  I’m not saying it’s beta to be a boyfriend.  But a guy whose a friend is at best a back up boyfriend when the guy she really likes dumps her.

More than likely, you’re just a back up for attention.  Do some betas end up dating the girls that friend zoned them?  Yes, some of them do.  But this takes months / years, and the woman will never love you.  She’ll always be ready to leave for the guys that she really wants, the guys that aren’t in her friend zone.

So you need to cut her off

If she had any interest in you sexually or romantically, then you avoiding her will actually grow that interest.  I’m not saying cutting her off will get her to want you right away.  Or even at all.

There’s no magic pill to getting a girl to like you.   She generally likes you from the beginning and this is amplified, or she doesn’t like you.  Yes women can like you more over time if you got good game.

But not by being in the friend zone.  A man in the friend zone is a man whose not authentic.  He’s lying to her in his energy.  “Yes I’m happy with just being friends” is what he try to projects, even though he wants to sleep with her.  This kind of male is a weasel.  Sure, he may get lucky and date the girl when she’s depressed or going through a break up.  But the woman will never truly respect him.  Because she knows that he’s not worthy of her.

A man whose worthy of her would be direct from the get go.  He doesn’t have to say “Hey I want to sleep with you”.  But a man whose direct isn’t going to just be a friend.  He’s going to flirt with her, try to actually get to know her, and make a move.  If she’s not down then he’ll be cool with it and move on.

Getting out of her friend zone by becoming stronger

Let’s say you didn’t do that.  You acted beta and weak.  But it’s not your fault, maybe you didn’t know how a man is supposed to act.  No worries, we all start from somewhere.  It is possible to learn how to get out of the friend zone and get a girl to like you.  But you can’t make it about her.

It needs to be about you.  You need to make yourself into an authentic, real man.  And an authentic man isn’t going to lie to himself or a woman he wants to get at.  That’s why you’re going to disappear from her life.  It’s not fair to yourself that you’re lying to yourself and acting like you don’t want to get with her.  And it’s unfair to her that you’re pretending to be her friend when you don’t really want to be.

Knowing how to escape the friend zone is simple.

Stop being friends with her

Once you disappear, if she had any interest in you, she’ll start to wonder why you stopped hanging out with her.  She’ll think:

  • “maybe he got a girlfriend?”
  • “he thinks he’s too cool to be my friend?”
  • “I wonder if he’s hanging out with other girls?”

And her brain will continue to come up with different ideas.  Her interest and attraction will grow when you’re not available anymore.  This is what you want.  For you to have any chance with her, she needs to feel like she’s missing out on you.

Again, this is assuming you life and are in shape, and even though you were a friend, still looked like a decent guy to hook up with.  If you’re overweight or overly dorky, then she might winder what happened to you, but she won’t have much interest.

Work on your purpose

You’re not going to be lurking in a corner somewhere while you disappeared from her life.  You need to be working on your purpose.

Your purpose is something you

  • love and have passion for
  • are good at
  • can make money with

Ideally, you turn your purpose into a business.  If you start from a young age, you can build wealth early on.  From there you can strive to even become rich or just build a business you love and have your ideal lifestyle.  If it’s truly your purpose then you should be aiming to do it for the rest of your life.

If you have a life purpose you create for yourself, then you won’t have time to be in the friend zone of any woman. You won’t have time to deal with some girl who’s not interested in you.  You have no hate for women who don’t like you sexually / romantically.  However, you just don’t have time for it.  If a woman doesn’t like you, then you let her live your life.  If anything, you need to work on making more time for the women in your life who already like you.

Knowing how to get out of the friend zone will be like breathing to you.  Because a man with a purpose won’t let a women put him in the friend zone in the first place.

Increased value

Plus, when this particular girl sees that you’re on your purpose, her attraction to you will grow.  There’s nothing more attractive than an ambitious man who loves what he does and whose status + money is only growing.

The Glow Up

When you become successful, you glow up.  You radiate a different kind of energy.  Everyone can feel this, especially women.  Women from your past who missed out of you will want second chances.  These could be ex girlfriends, girls you used to date casually, and girls that you made the mistake of being in the friend zone with.

Don’t spill your heart out to her

Don’t go up to her and ask her out or tell her that you like her.  That’s some beta and it just doesn’t work.  Looks fellas, if it worked, I’d tell you to do it.  But telling a girl you’re friends with that you like her just doesn’t work.

Telling a girl you like her or want to be more than friends is always bad advice.  There’s no need or reason to say you like her.  And you’re murdering your chances of ever getting with her.

Too many movies will show the guy confessing his love for a girl and in the end winning her.  I’m her to tell you that dream was made in Hollywood and sold to the world.  But it never works like that in the real world.  If you have any idea on how to get out of the friend zone, then you’ll know not to do this.

It will only destroy the small chances you already have of getting with her.  I can’t over emphasize this enough. Don’t spill your heart out.

Why you got friend zoned in the first place

You need to take a hard look at yourself.  Figuring out how to escape the friend zone requires you to pull back and improve your life.  But why are you having to do this in the first place?

That’s because you let yourself get friend zoned.  And why did you remain friends with a girl who you wanted to get with but she didn’t?

Because your self worth as a man isn’t as high as it should be.  A masculine man wouldn’t stay fiends with a girl he wanted to bang or date.  I’m not talking about your friends hot girlfriend that you’re a default “friend” of because she’s in the same friend group as you.  I’m talking about girls in your life that you want to date that you let categorize you as a beta.

Don’t become a beta

All men, even myself, have some women that will try to lump us as betas.  They do this by trying to set up the date at a fancy restaurant, wait for sex, or just flat out friend zone.  The difference between what I do and other masculine men do versus the true betas is that we don’t settle for that.

We try to push our agenda, and if she’s not with it, then we cut the girl off.  No hate or argument.  I just want to deal with women who are interested in me.  Those are always the best interactions for both me and for her.

Chances are you won’t just get out of the friend zone.  If you want to have a real chance

  1. Stop being friends with her / cut off attention
  2. Glow up in Life, become more successful + masculine
  3. Let her come back into your life

That’s the real way to know how to get of the friend zone in real life.  It involves you stop being friends with her, improving herself, and letting her hit you up and pursue you.

The point is that you must value yourself.  You’ll never have to learn how to get out of the friend zone if you don’t let yourself get friend zoned in the fist place.


friend zone, how to escape the friend zone

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2 years ago

Honestly… why be friends with a girl? I mean I have one or two, but the line is clearly drawn. It’s funny, one that I see in yoga (she’s married) recently texted me and since she’s married I responded with one word… since then, nothing. The more she comes up to me at class and the less attention I attempt to give her, the more she’s becoming attracted to me… I can just see it in her eyes and body language…

Great advice Jay!

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