October 1

How to Flirt with a Girl: Having fun + raising her interest


How to Flirt with a Girl

how to flirt with women

Every man should learn how to flirt with a girl.  It’s an essential part of the dating and progressing things in a romantic / sexual manner.

Why you should learn how to flirt with a girl

Learning how to flirt with a girl will help you connect with women.  Flirting is essentially being playful with women.  There are sexual undertones, but you don’t necessarily have to be talking about sex.

If you learn how to flirt with a girl, then you’ll be able to know when to make your moves, and keep things going down the path you want.  Lots of guys will approach girls and talk to them, but they don’t flirt and then end up getting friendzoned.

It’s basically like verbal foreplay.

Flirting keeps your intentions clear

Not learning how to flirt with women will hold you back with women.

Women need to feel comfortable around you.  They’re all about their feelings.  Girls need to feel they vibe with you. Flirting is playing with them and making them feel good.  It’s like foreplay.  And once you learn how to just be comfortable and tease women, you’ll be good to go.

But if you can’t flirt, then you will cockblock yourself with women.  Forget about getting to bed or even getting a relationship.  You need to be able to flirt and vibe with a girl for her to look at you in a sexual / romantic way.

It’s a mechanism women use to see if you’re safe.  Flirting is strongly linked to success with women.

A man who knows how to flirt with a girl generally has experience with them.  Or at least projects sexual confidence.  This signals to the women he’s flirting that he has some confidence and assurance in himself.  If you know anything about dating, you know that women like a confident man whose not afraid to make a move.  This doesn’t mean you’re pushy, desperate, or chasing her.  But it means you’re comfortable making a move on a woman you like.  If she’s not into it no worries.  However, you know that women want to date you because you’re a strong masculine man.  So you don’t have a problem making a move.

That’s what flirting is.  It’s when there’s sexual tension and you let this be known by the way you interact with her.

A guy who can’t flirt essentially lacks the experience and correct social skills.  This means to girl that something must be wrong with the guy who doesn’t know how to flirt.

Destroying oneitis for girls you barely know

curing oneitis

Even if you just want a girlfriend, you should still have the power of being able to flirt with women.

Too many guys develop oneitis for girls they barely know.  Then they get too creepy and don’t flirt with the girl, then the girl friend zones them.  And then they get mad, message me, and tell me about this girl that was stringing them along.  But in reality, she just didn’t want to shut you down and be mean.  And maybe she had some interest at first.  That being said, if you don’t flirt with her and make a move, then this will die down.

Giving women all of your attention while you aren’t engaging them in a romantic / sexual relation ship will cause them to look at you as a friend / nice guy.  If you want to be a nice guy then that’s fine.  But if you want to date these women, then you need to make your intentions clear.  Don’t overthink things and fantsize about a future with a girl you barely know.  That’s how guys get oneitis over girls they aren’t even dating.

If you like a girl, you need to have the confidence to flirt with her.

When you learn how to flirt with women, your confidence with dating in general will skyrocket.  You’ll realize it’s not a big deal.  But at the same time, it’s important.

Keeping your relationship alive

Guys who become best friends with their wives or girlfriends become that way because they become too similar. They lose their masculinity in the relationship.  The masculine and feminine energy start to blend too much together.

Flirting helps to keep things sexual and keep the tension between masculine and feminine.  It’s how you can keep a healthy relationship if you’re in one, or have multiple fun ones if you’re single.

How to flirt with girls

The two ways learn how to flirt a girl are

  1. with your words
  2. with your body

With words

Women love talking.  And talking with them is the most obvious way to know how to flirt with a girl.  There’s not specific lines to memorize or say.

The Vibe – How you say things, not what you say

It’s about how you say things.  The energy you bring to the words you say.

For example, you can flirt with a girl by teasing her for not drinking that much of their IPA even though she claimed it was her favorite brand.

You don’t need to actually pressure the girl into drinking. Instead  you  can be playful with what you say to her.  And in return she’ll laugh and you two can have a  good time.

First date

being cool on date

Let’s say you’re meeting a girl on the first date or just approached her for the first time.  Simply start asking a girl about her life.  If you already know her, then bring up something she’s told you before and ask her how that’s going.

Begin conversation

The first step to flirting is just to start the conversation.  Like any other normal conversation.  She walks into the bar, you say what’s up.  Or she’s coming over to your place, so you let her in and ask her how her day was.

Get deeper in conversation

We’re not trying to go super deep right now.  You just want to ask her about her life.

  • Her family, friends, hobbies, job, and so on.
  • Then one of the best flirting topics / topics in general, which is travel.
  • I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t love traveling or doesn’t have a wishlist of places she wants to see.

You’ll being out a whole bunch of positive emotions from her travels.  And if she hasn’t traveled much, you’re getting insight into her dreams.

With your body, mannerisms, and touch

first date tips

Much of what I just talked about seemed like normal conversation.   That’s because if you put the conversation on paper, it might seem normal or weird given the context.

But much of the actual flirting comes from physical things.  No, she’s not going to grab your dick in public.  However, she might touch your arm when she’s laughing at your joke.

Things you can do

A few things you can actually do when flirting with her

  1. Smile when you joke
  2. lightly tough her
  3. face her with your body

1. Smile when you make a joke

It’s good to be playful with her and give her shit.

But you can’t be a robot about it.  When a girl talks about a guy and says he’s “a jerk”, but says it with a smile on her face… she really means “he was able to joke with me like a human being and not worship me.”

Over texts, joking too much can be interpreted the wrong way.  So when you’re in person, you can be more of yourself and joke with her more.

2. Lightly touch her

A light bump to the shoulder, a small touch on her leg or arm, and so on.  Nothing crazy, small touches or bumps.  This ins’t at all necessary.  However, you can do this with girls to show some interest.  If she bumps you back then she’s flirting with you back.

3. Face her with your body

flirting, facing her, eye contact

Many men try too hard to be alpha and face away.  When you’re learning how to flirt with a girl, keep the attention on her. Face your body towards hers.  This is indirect, but shows that you have interest with her.

As a man with a prupose, your attention is limited.  You’re not texting these girls back 24/7 or always chilled with them. But when you do hang with them, like on a first date or the first approach, you give them focused attention.

Girls like when you give them attention.  If you literally gave them no attention at all, then you would completely ignore them and never date or interact with them.

It’s only giving them the wrong kind of attention that causes you to be the beta or be friendzoned.  Giving them your sexual attention when there’s mutual interest is fine.  Don’t over do it.  Be chill, cool, and radiate good vibes and sexual attention.

What to watch for in her

You want to see if she also smiles, touches you, and is facing you with her body.  If she’s doing the same things, then congrats, you’re flirting.

If she’s not smiling, not doing any light touches, and not facing you, then she’s probably not interested.  Some women are more shy and conservative, nothing wrong with that.  However, if you flirt with a girl and she likes you, she’s going to reciprocate in some fashion, even if she’s more shy.

The biggest one is touch and smiling.  Even a girl whose more reserved will smile or at least blush around you if you flirt with her and she’s into it.

About the vibe – Don’t memorize lines or techniques

Although you can keep in mind the examples I gave above, you can’t force them.  They’re not random techniques to use whenever.

Learning how to flirt with a girl is more about being able to feel the vibe.  Like I said before, women are all about feeling. You have to use the right side of your brain.  It’s about being cool, calm, yet quick on your feet and witty.  Most importantly, it’s about mindsets.

Tease her a little bit, just don’t  go overboard

This mindset doesn’t mean you’re being.  Instead, it means you’re giving her shit on small things.  For example, I was on a date the other day.  The girl has ripped jeans near her knees.  They were obviously styled like that.

But then she mentioned how she hurt one of her knees playing volleyball.  I gave her shit and said “wow, I can tell because you messed up your jeans”.  I said this with a smile on my face and touched her knee.

She was laughing and touched my arm back.  She clearly wasn’t offended that I was mocking her outfit.  This is because context is so important.  If you can nail down the mindsets, then the words and touch will come naturally.

When to flirt

So you know the basics of how to flirt with a girl.  Once you’re in a conversation, it’s about being playful.  But when should you use your newfound abilities?

When you first meet a girl

coffee date

If a girl is choosing you, meaning she’s interested in you, then you should approach her.  This is a great time to start flirting with her.  Ask her for her name, and then so on.  If you’re busy, you can just ask if she wants to get a drink sometime, and go from there.

But ideally, you can begin flirting with her from the moment you two interact.

On the first date

Whether you’re meeting the girl for a drink or inviting her over to your place, don’t forget how to flirt just because you’ve met once before.  This is another great time to be playful with her.

Again, talk about her life, poke fun at her, lightly touch her, and so on.  The first date is about making a girl feel comfortable.

With Girls you see

Once you fare dating, then it’s back to robot mode, right?


You still have to flirt with girls you see.  It’s best to focus on the majority of time on your business and building your wealth.

But when you do talk with girls, it’s either

  1. to flirt if you’re in person
  2. or set up logistics if you’re not

You can flirt with them over text as well.  But in essence, don’t spend all day texting girls.  Any flirting you do end up doing will be overshadowed by the fact that you’re always available.  Still flirt with girls you date when you talk with them.  But don’t talk to them  24/7.  Let them breathe and you should also have a life.

Your Girlfriend

man and woman flirting, touch

The majority of this article is meant for guys talking to a girl the first time or on the first date.  That being said, the game never stops.

If you don’t flirt with your girlfriend, she’s going to be bored.  Even if you have a great girlfriend, you still need to run game on her.  One of the biggest mistakes men make in relationships is becoming more like their partner. They become more feminine, bitch about their feelings, and overall become like their girlfriend.

Then their girlfriend loses attraction for the guy.  Flirting is out of the question at that point.

You want to maintain your masculinity.

Lift weights.  Spend time with the boys and work on your business.   Continue to be playful with her and romance her.  Just because you learned how to flirt with women and got with her doesn’t mean you can stop.

Mistakes men make when flirting with women

There’s some common mistakes you should avoid when you’re learning how to flirt with a girl.

Not using enough eye contact

Eyes are the key to the soul.

If you’re never looking at her she’s not going to feel connected to you.  Rapport is crucial for girls.  Plus, one of the most powerful signs of flirting that I left out earlier was eye contact.  You can feel if a girl is really into just by looking at her.

I call it “eye fucking”, where you two lock eyes and you both can feel the tension.

You’ll miss that connection though if you’re always looking down or away.  Of course, you can look away once in a while. Don’t stare at the girl uncomfortably.  But make sure to give eye contact.

Saying weird shit

Too many men think that saying weird pick up lines is flirting.

  • “Did it hurt?  when you fell out of heaven”
  • “I know you’re busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?”

All you do by saying this type of shit is ruin the moment and any chance you had.  By not saying weird shit, you’ll actually give the girl a chance to like you.  Don’t use stupid pick up lines, and do say anything creepy.

Trying too hard

If you can’t flirt right now, you’re going to have to put in a little bit of work.  But learning how to flirt with a girl shouldn’t be too hard.  Especially when you’re with her in person.  And especially if she has some level of interest in you.

It should be fun, playful, and carefree.  You shouldn’t have to worry how effectively you’re flirting with her or over analyzing small things.

Don’t pedestalize her.  And get over your fear of rejection.  Not every girl will like you.  That’s fine.

Flirting is supposed to be fun.  Enjoy yourself.  If you can be happy with yourself, are confident, and have decent social skills, flirting isn’t that hard.

Flirting with girls who aren’t interested

woman rejecting man

A girl who has no interest in you isn’t going to flirt.  Don’t waste your time talking to women who can’t have a good time with you.  You do this by approaching women who are interested in you.  If no women are choosing you, you either are missing their signals or you need to work on your sex appeal.

In public, bars, clubs

This means the girl is giving you eye contact or was checking you out.  Go up and talk to her.  Can you flirt with random girls?  Yes you can do this, but your success rate will be lower.

On dates

If you met up with a girl at a bar from another encounter or online dating, then she should be open to flirting with you.  But if she’s not, end the date and don’t waste your time.  However, as long as she’s not all on her phone and she’s being respectful, don’t think she may not like you.

Plenty of girls, especially feminine ones, are more reserved.

Just because you’re not getting a blow job within 2 seconds of you two ordering your drinks doesn’t mean she’s not going to flirt with you or she has not interest in you.  Slow down man.  Many girls are a little shy or subtle in how they shown their interest.

Get her to talk, then start being playful and see how she responds.

Flirt with women 

Life is too short not to know how to flirt with a girl.  Remember, the key is to be playful.  Let the girl talk.  Use a lot of eye contact.  Joke with her.

Work on getting her comfortable, and have confidence in that you’re a man she would want to flirt with.

All women need some flirting from a fun guy.  So stop being the lame dude who’s boring like a rock. You should be a rock emotionally.  But you should be able to have sexual vibes with a woman you like.  Be the cool guy she want to flirt with, and better yet actually date.  Go on more dates, figure out how to flirt with a girl effectively, and have more fun in your dating life.


flirt, flirting, flirting with a girl, how to flirt

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Adam Fellman
Adam Fellman
2 years ago

Thanks- I’m realizing the need to be less needy and more flirty in my current relationship thanks to your articles. My girlfriend of a couple months has been losing interest because of my beta tendencies. Now I’m bringing balance back to my life and getting on my own shit.

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