How to get over a break up: the one thing most men don’t do
Learning how to get over a break up can be one of the most difficult things a man does in his life. Especially if that break up was with a woman he was with for many years. It’s not easy moving on from a break up. It requires a big change in your mental stimulation and your day to day life.
But if you’re part of the 99% of the population who goes through a break up, then you’ll need to figure out how to get over a break up in order to move on.
Too many men don’t learn how to get over a break up and they waste away years of their lives. Many men start to do worse in their work life, never date other girls, and some men even commit suicide.
While that’s probably not you, you might be surprised at some of the emails I get from men in terrible places because of a bad break up.
Getting over a break up
Which is why I’m going to tell you how to get over a break up. I already have articles on how to destroy oneitis and how to get over an ex. To be honest, if you read those articles and did what I advised, then you wouldn’t need to read this. But some of you haven’t read them or others of you did but didn’t do all of the steps.
And regardless, if you do the things that will help you get over a break up, but you’re still not over it, there’s a reason. And it’s not because you were destined to be with this girl.
There’s one thing that holds men back from getting over break ups and moving on to have happy lives.
What it comes down to
It all comes down to acceptance.
Men who accept that their break up is for real are able to feel some pain in the short term, and then move on in the long term. The things they do to get over the break up like:
And so on all help because you’re making your life better. Even doing those things with the intention of getting your ex back or making them jealous will still help you to get over them.
But the reason why you’re not doing those things, or if you are you’re half-assing it and not feeling good, is because you haven’t accepted the break up.
Stop worrying about your ex
You’re still worrying about your ex girlfriend getting pounded out by some other dude. You’re thinking about all the shit she’s doing with other guys that she wouldn’t do for you. Stop blowing shit up in your head.
You need to stop worrying about your ex girlfriend. Let her do what she’s going to do. Remember, she’s not yours, you just had a long turn. We don’t own these women around here. Worrying about her and wanting her back won’t get her back. All you’re doing is creating scarcity in your brain. You’re preventing yourself from moving on. Learning how to get over a break up means that you need to mentally let go of the girl. You need to develop an abundance mindset.
How to accept a break up
You learn how to get over a break by realizing that:
- All relationships are temporary
- You never owned her
- What you’re going through is normal
- You can get over her if you allow it
1. All relationships are temporary
You need to realize all relationships is temporary. Because life is temporary by nature. You weren’t always alive. You’ll die one day. And every person in your life is only there for a finite amount of time. Some people are in your life for years. Others are only in your life for a few months or a few hours.
But every single relationship is temporary. It’s always fleeting. Even an old married couple will eventually “break up” because one of them dies. There’s no such thing as forever in relationships because we don’t even live forever.
Even if you date someone for years, you or them will eventually die. Or break up. Regardless, you can’t be with someone forever even if you both wanted that.
Once you realize this, then learning how to accept a break up becomes much easier. You stop needing to “be with someone forever” because that very concept is impossible.
2. You never owned her
In order to learn how to get over a break up, you need to wake up to the fact that you never owned her. While you can be alpha in a relationship, and dominant, you can never truly own another person. Which means your girlfriend isn’t really yours. You can’t control her. And she can’t control you.
Too many guys think they lost “my girl” when in reality she’s not yours. She’s a girl you spent a lot of time with and got attached to. But you don’t own her.
3. What you’re going through is normal
Unless you’re part of the very small percentage of people who date, marry, and never divorce their first girlfriend, everyone else has gone through something like this.
Even though learning how to get over a break up is hard as fuck, it’s normal. You didn’t keep your heart in check because things felt right. But now you learned that the good also comes with the bad.
If you can get out of your head and realize you’re not so special, then accepting the break up becomes much easier. Things start to click. Other people go through the same thing. It’s part of the right of passage as a man. Getting over a break up is something that almost all men, especially in today’s era, go through as part of growing up.
4. You can get over her if you allow it
Most men don’t figure out how to accept a break up because they simply don’t allow themselves to. You can allow yourself to get over the break up. This doesn’t mean you’ll get over the break up right away. Things will still suck. You’ll still feel like shit for a while. But letting yourself get over will actually cause you to accept that the break up is actually real. And then you’ll be able to move on with your life.
You can say to yourself:
- “I know it’s hard, but I accept this break up is over”
- “I’m giving myself permission to accept this relationship as done and move on with my life”
- “I’m grateful to have had this experience and I’m ready for what the future holds”
Girls say this kind of shit, and guess what… it fucking works. For the dumb shit some girls do, they actually are very good about emotionally and mentally moving when they’re determined to do so. As men, we can also learn how have emotional control and use positive affirmations.
Learning how to accept a break up can be tough. But if we become our own best friend and help ourselves out with positive affirmations, then we can make huge leaps in getting over a break up.
Why men can’t get over break ups
Man don’t get over break ups because they don’t accept the break up as real. And therefore they never try to move on. The biggest things that cause men to stay stuck on their ex is that they do one or all of these 3 things:
- Fantasize about their ex
- Don’t try to get back in the game
- Still have false hope for the future
Fantasize about their ex
Fantasizing about your ex is a big no-no. Thinking about her sexually or masturbating to her will only cause you to put her on a pedestal. And then you’ll get into a negative downwards spiral because you don’t have her anymore.
Even fantasizing about her as your girlfriend again is a mistake. You’re still blowing up her image in your head. Subconsciously you’re training your brain to want to make getting back with her the goal. And this will ruin your chances of getting her back let alone moving on with your life.
Don’t try to get back in the game
Getting back in the game will allow you to meet new women. You’ll get to have fun sex with new girls, experience new personalities, and enjoy that same feminine energy you’ve been missing since you broke up.
But unless you’re a stud, it’s going to take some time to get back into the game. And this is even more true the hotter you thought your girlfriend was. It can be discouraging if you can’t fuck a girl just as attractive right away. But you need to stick with it. You need to continue to go out and meet new girls, swipe right on tinder, and build a social life + show it off on Instagram. Now is also the perfect time to hit the gym and do things like learning how to dance – which will help you meet tons of women.
Failing to get back into the game will cause you to think about your ex. And you won’t learn how to get over a break up because you’re not giving yourself a chance to move on.
Still have false hope for the future
When a guy tells me he can’t figure out how to accept a break up, he also always tells me he wish he could just get back with his ex. And that’s where the problem is. Having any kind of hope or even a wish to get back with your ex will hold you back from getting over the break up. Even if you sleep with other girls it should be for your fun and improvement, not to just get her back.
Wishing or hoping to get back together is the biggest thing that will prevent you from accepting a break up. On the other hand, you can wish to just get over her. Or better, yet, tell yourself positive affirmations that will allow you to accept the break up as real and move on.
Make yourself the center of your life
The reason most people break up is because the woman dumped the man for being too needy / un-masculine. There’s a small chance she broke up with you because you cheated on her / too masculine, but even then she’d still want you back because she’s still attracted. And if that was the case you’d be able to accept the break up anyways.
Most of you guys that are having trouble learning how to get over a break up just need to accept it for what it is. And then once you do that you need to make yourself the center of your life. Everything you used to do for her you do for her.
You are the only constant thing in your life. So you need to cherish yourself more. Build value in yourself and set yourself up for success. Make new goals to follow your purpose and achieve financial freedom from wage slavery. Do the hobbies you’ve always wanted to do. Enjoy your time and make the most of out life. Break ups are never fun. But if you can just accept that it’s part of life, then you can learn how to get over a break up and actually end up happier.