How to have charisma
Learning how to have charisma will help you to get what you want when dealing with people. Increased charisma will lead to more people liking you, wanting to be around you, hang out with you, do business with you, date you, and so on. A man with charisma is a man that people want to be around. Developing some level of charisma is useful if you want to be able to have high quality relationships, have a social life, and do well with people.
If you’re dating, have friends or family, or you’re in business, charisma will only aid you in your success in these relationships.
What is charisma?
Charisma is the ability to inspire others and make them feel good because you are around. The typical example successful politician, even ones who may lie or be caught in scandals, as charismatic. Actors are generally charismatic, or have the ability to be so.
A person with charisma is an individual that is charming to a lot of people. Think of the popular celebrity who has money, gets girls, but is still nice to the regular person.
Charisma is subjective to a degree because everyone will always have haters. But there are people that posses an ability to be liked by a lot of people. However, the most charismatic people you meet in real life won’t be constantly looking for attention or always looking to be liked. A truly charismatic person has the ability to be liked and seemingly without trying.
This happens when you have good energy, a positive outlook, and treat people with respect. Add in a bit of humor and social awareness, and you have the recipe for charisma.
Why should you want to have charisma?
When you have charisma, you basically have an element about you that a lot of people like. If people tend to like you more than average, you’re probably charismatic. But who cares if people like you right? Well yes and no. On one hand, you shouldn’t care on an individual level if a person likes you or not. If a girl doesn’t like you or a guy in a friend group doesn’t like you, you shouldn’t give a fuck. If a prospect doesn’t want to buy, who cares.
However, you want girls to like you overall so you have dating options. You want people to find value in your services and like the way you make them feel.
It doesn’t matter in the micro for specific people, however in general it’s much better when people like you. Now, not everyone has to like you. There may be certain groups of people who love you and certain groups that hate you. But you should have a consistent fan base if that makes sense.
For example, if someone hates on an article or video I don’t care. But that’s because I get tons of positive feedback from other guys. So I know what I’m discussing is providing value and resonating.
Same with girls. If one girl doesn’t like me no worries. I just had sex last night with a girl whose crazy about me.
Charisma is the same way. It doesn’t matter on an individual basis if everyone likes you, because not everyone will. However, it will benefit you financially, sexually/romantically, and socially if you have charisma – a general likability about you.
Isn’t charisma beta?
No, you don’t need to be a beta to have charisma.
You can still stand up for yourself and be likable. In fact, when someone tries to diss you in a social setting, you can say something witty / funny back. This will make you look way cooler and more charismatic than saying nothing or getting too aggressive and starting a fight. Everyone around will know you can handle yourself, and the person who dissed you will know to respect you. There’s times when you need to be more aggressive and not take shit.
However, having charisma doesn’t mean you’re a beta or need to have a huge cheesy smile at all times. You can still have good energy, be positive, and yet be masculine.
Betas are generally the least charismatic. They care too much about what everyone thinks, and therefore they do things to sabotage their own success with people.
Different types of charisma
Charisma can be different depending on the person. There are some people who talk a lot, talk loud, and yet are still charismatic. While some of these people – like politicians and comedians, may be some of the more famous examples of charismatic people, they shouldn’t necessarily be the the standard for you.
Because if you’re not naturally like that, it’s going to be difficult to go from an introverted man to a loud, extroverted man yet still have charisma. You can definitely become more extroverted, but trying to mimic people who talk more generally will just make you annoying.
If you’re not naturally a charismatic person, it’s better to take the more common approach to charisma. Which is easier to adopt, will burn less bridges in your life, and will still help to make people like you more while you are doing less.
Modeling people who have it
- Watch people who have it
- Imagine you’re them
- Practice controlling your emotions
- Watch how you walk
- Talk less, ask questions (don’t look for excuses to brag or to talk about your life)
One of the best things you can do is look to someone you view as charismatic. Watch the way they talk and the way they interact with people. What about them is enticing? If you’re watching a YouTuber, a politician, or some other public speaker, the conviction in which they speak is a major factor.
However, it’s even more beneficial to watch how these people interact with others. Watch your favorite actor in interviews, or look at how the charismatic person at work talks to others.
Try to take what you can from them. More than likely they have control over their emotions, they ask powerful questions, and look for commonalities. even when charismatic people disagree with others, they’ll do so in a way without attacking the character of the other person. Which means a charismatic person can even turn a point of divergence into an opportunity to create respect
Developing it on your own
While modeling can work, the best way to create real charisma is to develop your own. You don’t have to be a totally different person, but you do need to become a better version of yourself. Not everyone has the same speaking style, same humor, or way they approach life. That’s fine.
But people who know how to develop charisma have a few things in common. If you can do these 3 things, and really incorporate them into the way you act, your charisma will develop rapidly.
- Be positive
- Don’t talk down on others
- Never lose frame
1. Be positive
Charismatic people are positive. They’re always looking at the opportunity to solve a problem. Or they’re appreciating the gift of life in some form or fashion. A charismatic man will only discuss negative things if he’s looking for a way to solve the problem or get some sort of benefit from it.
Someone with charisma turns lemons into lemonade. The vast majority of people are negative or neutral, so by just doing this, you’ll automatically be seen as more charismatic.
2. Don’t gossip talk down on others
Gossiping is a terrible behavior, especially for a man. While women do it as a way to gather information, and men can do this is as well, it’s a feminine act and should be done sparingly. When a person doesn’t talk down to others, and can avoid gossiping behind other people’s backs, he’s way more charismatic.
Those who try to gossip with you will see that you’re not a snake like them. And while they be annoyed that you won’t gossip with them in the moment, the amount they’ll respect you and actually like you more over time is immense. When you’re above talking bad about others, especially when they’re not there, you become a truly authentic man.
There are times when you need to confront people directly and sometimes talk down to them. Talking down can be minimized, but not all confrontations can be. But if you can avoid gossip, your natural charisma will magnify. Not only to those who tried to gossip with you, but to everyone. Because you’ll have the aura of a genuine person. That’s uncommon and it’s magnetic for other people when they get around you.
3. Never lose frame
Never losing your masculine frame is a difficult feat to master. As you continue to become more grounded, aware of your emotions, and then gain greater control of them, holding frame will become natural to you. Once you reach a certain level , it’s not as much about holding your frame or “holding back” as it is just becoming a man who can’t be easily moved by anything.
This means a woman can’t rock you off your frame or get you to react. Or in business when someone is going back on a deal or trying to change things up on you. Even people you think are friends will try to get you to react in a negative way.
Sometimes you will need to be stern in how you deal with people who test you by holding your ground. Other times you simply pull away and don’t react at all. But either way, you never lose frame. And when others see that you can’t be rocked, you become charismatic to them. Because you hold yourself like a rock, you’re a mountain. A simple rain storm doesn’t effect the way you are. This will cause you to maintain your dignity, have more respect for yourself, and for others to respect you as well.
To the point where they look up to you. It’s hard to not indulge in negative behavior when that’s the external stimuli. However, when your inner strength is impenetrable, people see how much in control of yourself you are. That’s something that makes you extremely likable, because others want to be like that too.
Better yourself to become more charismatic
A man whose mastered his inner self is a man who will be respected by others. Respect is a common theme with charisma and with a lot of the things I discuss. In order to think someone is charismatic, you must resect them. If you respect yourself, and carry yourself in a way which shows that, then others will respect you too. Combine the respect and confidence you have with positivity, a rock solid frame, and some regular social skills, and you’ll develop a high level of charisma.