Learning how to hold a woman accountable is essential if you want to keep integrity and respect in the relationship. And by relationship, I mean at every level you have relations with a woman. From the first date to 5 years into a committed relationship, as a man you must know how to hold a woman accountable.
If you don’t, then you’re placing yourself at the mercy of the woman to hold herself accountable. Women naturally will push for power in the relationship. They do this to test your strength. Most do it without thinking about it but some women with more game will do it on purpose.
If she’s able to disrespect you and you don’t hold her accountable, she will gain power over you. This is a sign of weakness on your part.
Then she will leave you, cheat on you, or make your life hell. This isn’t to say women are evil. It’s not a moral issue. It’s just how women are. If they’re with a man that checks disrespect, then that’s a man who respects himself. Biologically, she’s programmed to like a man who respects himself, because he has a greater chance at surviving.
Just like biologically, men are programmed to like women with boobs, thin waist, and curvier hips.
Imagine a woman went from having a 10 body to having a 5 within a few months. You’d end up cheating on her, leaving her, or being miserable.
That’s what happens when you let a woman disrespect you without holding her accountable.
Don’t get mad at me for it, that’s just how the game goes.
A good, solid woman, will test you or disrespect you in much smaller ways than the average woman. However, there will still be some sort “pushing of buttons” if you will from time to time. Picking a good woman makes a big difference, no doubt. But as a man, you still need to hold her accountable when necessary.
Holding her Accountable
The two main ways to hold a woman accountable are either:
– Remove attention
– Call her our directly for actions
Either of these can work depending on the severity of the disrespect and the level of the relationship.
Generally, the more casual the relationship is, the less you have to call her out directly and the more removing attention will work.
And generally, the more serious it is, the more a direct call out will make sense.
However, these are generalities. Often times you do both.
First date Example
Let’s say you have a first date with a woman, she flakes at the last minute, and doesn’t offer to reschedule or apologize.
Figuring out how to hold a woman accountable in this situation is pretty straightforward. You just remove attention, forever. Meaning you never talk to her again. While this isn’t the answer you want to hear, there’s no salvaging this situation. In this way you maintain your self respect and she learns she won’t be able to use you for your time. Calling her out directly would just be a waist.
However,, let’s say you have a first date and the woman is 15 minutes late and apologizes. In this case, you can remove a bit of attention, and also call her out. You still can talk to her on the date, and flirt a bit, but don’t be as friendly as you might be to a woman who showed up on time. You can also make her pay for the drinks or whatever. In this way it’d be a call out, but it’d be light.
Her arriving: “Sorry I’m late, parking was crazy”
You: “You can make it up to me with a drink”
This is a very light call out and even flirty. But you’re still holding her accountable. A nice guy would let is slide or say “oh no worries glad you could make it”. With you, not so much. You can still be a kind person, but you handle situations accordingly. A woman showing up a bit late because of traffic or parking or whatever isn’t a big deal. But her buying you a drink to make up for it also isn’t a big deal.
Knowing how to hold a woman accountable is about matching the response to the disrespect.
Showing up late for a date, even by 15 minutes, is disrespectful. Imagine she was interviewing and you’re the interviewer. She’s coming to apply for a position at your company. 15 minutes isn’t super late, but it’s not on time. She better have a great resume or be willing to give a great interview to compensate. That’s gotta be your mentality. You can still have a great time with her, but now she’s gotta earn your attention.
Here’s an extremely common scenario in long term relationships. Let’s say it’s a normal day for you. All is well in paradise… until it isn’t. Your girlfriend, for reasons unknown to you, is acting upset around the house. You ask her what’s wrong and she says “nothing” or “I’m fine”.
Now she could be upset at you but not want to talk about it. Or she could just be upset at a family situation, work, getting her period soon, etc.
Either way, whether it’s related to your relationship or not, she’s in a bad mood. You tried to call it out directly by asking her what was wrong. She didn’t want to engage and communicate.
In this case, remove attention. A lot of guys will mess up by acting apologetic when they aren’t sure what’s wrong or they’ll keep on bugging their girlfriend. This is a mistake. She had an opportunity to communicate and she didn’t take it so let it be. You need to have enough self respect to interact with people who want to reciprocate.
Don’t get emotional
Just remove attention and go about your business.
Once she comes around later she will either be in a better mood + apologetic, or she’ll be just as upset and ready to confront you.
Either way, this is where you keep your girlfriend accountable. If she says it was due to work, family, period cramps, or some other circumstance, and she’s apologetic towards you, then you both can reconcile. This will happen often with women. You don’t need to become beta and put her on a pedestal. However, you can recognize that women get emotional.
However, if she’s mad at you for something or it’s relationship related that’s a different story. Know you need to hold her accountable for her attitude and lack of communication. You bring up the fact that the way she acted is not appropriate for an adult relationship. You tried calling out her behavior before and she didn’t want to engage. That’s fine, you didn’t push it then. Nevertheless, you hold her accountable by correcting her for her mistakes.
If you make mistakes in the relationship, then you can of course keep yourself accountable. As men, we generally do this regardless. However, just because you made some mistake doesn’t mean you become all apologetic. You gave her an opportunity to communicate and she decided to build up resentment instead. So you must call her out for that and make her apologize.
You must keep the integrity of the relationship
Most guys are afraid to hold their girlfriend accountable, let alone even some woman they just met. However, if you want to maintain the integrity of the relationship, you must ensure respect is present.
Knowing how to hold a woman accountable is very easy. Remove attention, call out directly, or both. The real question is do you have the self respect to do it?
Keeping her accountable isn’t about being mean to her or being the big bad boss. It’s about maintaining the respect. Respect is necessary for a woman to treat you well and for the relationship to be healthy. Men who understand that will have great relationships with women. Men who don’t will always have to deal with bad behavior.
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I’m in a situation. Okay to explain, me and my girl got into in on the phone because I was trying to talk to her calmly and reassure her that everything will be okay after she almost got into a wreck while driving if that makes sense. She was nervous and scared and I was just trying to calm the situation down but she took that as me not understanding what she was feeling ig so she got mad and hung up on me. She said she will talk to me later that day therefore I waited and the whole… Read more »
Hey brother, this story and the entire vibe of your girl reminds me exactly of a girl I dated. You handled things well up until going back and forth during text. I would say try to keep that to a minimum, say what you need to and then tell her she needs to talk to you in person. But for right now, keep on doing what you’re doing. She let her anxiety get the best of her and now wants to blame it on you. When she comes back around, don’t apologize. If you do then you’ll be subjected to… Read more »
I definitely appreciate you bro. I’ve been subscribed to you for the longest and always enjoyed your content. I will definitely just do me and when she comes around which Ik she will cause we been dating for almost 3 years, I’ll handle it accordingly. One more question tho, During the relationship, I have been feeling like the polarity of me and her is shifting and I want to take control of the relationship again. Not to just be mean and controlling but to lead the relationship with her following by side. Any advice on that because especially after this… Read more »
Much love brother. Let go of needing to control the relationship, that will only give her more power. You can’t force, only direct and provide guidance. Start focusing more on your life, and she’ll sense this and start to panic. But even then that will be short term. This is a woman that will always give you this kind of treatment. She doesn’t like to take responsibility for her actions and this is something you should’ve corrected at the beginning months. You must get her to agree she’s the problem and proactively work on her behavior. However it’s going to… Read more »