How to Stop Being Needy
Knowing how to stop being needy in a relationship or with any women will only help you.
Neediness is a huge turn off for a woman. It can cause you to miss out on sex from a girl you just met or lose yourself a relationship with a girl you’re already dating. If you suffer from this then you need to stop being needy and clingy.
For your ins self respect, happiness, and even for the girls you see. You’ll disappoint them and let both of you down with your weak, attention seeking behavior.
I’ll explain why you are needs towards woman, common signs of being needy, and of course how to stop being needy so you can earn some self respect.
Why are you needy towards women
- Have no purpose
- Are afraid of losing her
- You like her more than she likes you
Signs of being needy
- always texting or calling her first
- getting upset when she doesn’t return your messages
- wanting to hangout more often than she does
- asking her where she is
There are so many signs of being needy that this list can go on forever. I hear new examples of signs of a needy man in many comments and messages to me. So this is in now way an inclusive list. But these are common examples that you’ll probably fall into if you’re a needy guy.
Always texting or calling her first
Always texting or calling a woman first is a sign that you need her more than she needs you. Ideally you want at least an even exchange or better yet have her initiate conversations first.
- The exception is when you first meet her and get her number. You’ll likely have to hit her up to get a first date and then get laid.
But if that’s already happened and you are usually texting or calling first, then you’re displaying needy behavior. You’re seeking her validation by always reaching out before she does. Even if she picks up or texts back, don’t be surprised if this leads to her getting annoyed of you. She’ll eventually lose attraction because you’re not letting her miss you.
Getting upset when she doesn’t return your messages
A huge mistake is to get mad at a girl when she doesn’t text you back. Never double text or text her again a few hours later.
If a girl doesn’t message you back then just wait until she does. It may be a few hours, a few weeks, or a few months. But getting mad or upset with her for not texting you back is a sign that you’re extremely needy.
Wanting to hangout more often than she does
Women should be the ones wanting to hang out with you after the two of you start seeing each other. But when you’re always the one hitting her up to hang out then you’re in the weak position. You’re showing her that you value her time more than she values yours.
The woman should be the one who wants more time out of you. If you’re demanding that she spends more time with you then you’re showing massive beta behavior. Yet this is common with men who get sprung with the hot chick they started sleeping with or a girlfriend who they think is above their league.
Asking her where she is
Asking a girl where she is, especially when she isn’t responding to you, is showing to her that you’re insecure. You should only ask where she is when you’re trying to get it in.
Many needy boyfriends do this when they don’t hear from their girlfriends. She could be asleep, hanging out with friends, or cheating on you. But you blowing up her phone will only push her to cheat on you more so. And if that’s not the case, and she just was busy or didn’t want to text back, you’re going to cause her to eventually find some new dick.
In general, you the signs of being needy all reflect that you’re over pursuing her. Chasing a girl too much is always a turn off. Whether she’s your girlfriend or just a girl you see causally it’s the same. You need to learn how to stop being needy so you don’t push this girl away.
Women don’t like needy men
Women are extremely disgusted by needy men. A man she once saw has handsome or sexy can quickly become gross after displaying needy behaviors. If she has emotional attachment she may stick around for a little bit. But sooner or lately she’ll dump you or cheat on you with a guy who doesn’t need her.
And if you’re just seeing her casually you can guarantee that she’ll ghost you.
Women want to be with a man who they think if higher value than she is. They go after men with high sexual standing, meaning the top men in any given city. This doesn’t always have to do with money, but also the way you act. If you act indifferent and like you barely have time for her, then she’ll be chasing your attention.
If you’re always chasing her attention than you’ll be the needy one.
She can be needy, but not the other way around
It’s okay if women are needy because you’ll keep them around for sex. But if you become needy over her then she’ll cut you off, or keep your around as a talking buddy and give sex to alpha men.
You must ingrain in your head that you need to figure out how to stop being needy. Unlike all the Disney movies where the guy gets the girl by chasing her, this doesn’t work in real life. You’re not going to win a girl over by blowing up her phone and giving her access attention. Instead, you win her over by getting her to chase you.
The good thing is that if you learn how to stop being needy, then you’ll be indifferent. And the woman or women you talk to will show more interest in you. You’ll get women to give you more sex, more affection, and do more for you. But you can’t need them. They must need you.
How to stop being needy in a relationship
You’re needy because you’re trying to fill a void in your heart with this woman. Instead, you need to fill the void yourself. Do this by
- getting more busy
- create and follow a purpose
- build up your sexual market value
- distance yourself from her
- pursue sex only
1. Get more busy
You’re needy because you’re focusing all of your attention on one girl. If you had a busier life then you wouldn’t have time to show any signs of a needy man. You’d be too busy living life. Women don’t want you to make them your everything. They want you to be the captain on your own ship. And they’ll tag along for the ride.
Do more things in your life. Lift weights and do hobbies you enjoy like martial arts. Hang out with your friends and go out with the bros. Get more busy.
2. Create and follow a purpose
The best way to actually be busy is to follow your purpose. When you’re on your purpose, your ambition and drive are raised to all new levels. You have an energy about you that people can feel.
A purpose is something that you
- love and enjoy
- are skilled at
- can make money with
It’s a business that provides value to others. If you haven’t made a purpose for yourself then that should be your main focus. You won’t be needy to a woman when you’re out there following your life’s purpose. Having sex and engaging in relationships will just become a fun pastime to you. But you need to stop stalling and get on your purpose now. It will bring you wealth and freedom from wage slavery.
And if you’re young, the best investment you can make is building a business now.
3. Build up your own sexual market value
A man with high sexual market value has lots of options in the dating world. And if you have options then you won’t have to learn how to stop being needy. It will be a natural bi-product of who you are.
You may think you need a certain girl. But if three hotter girls all started to chase you then you would quickly feel what it’s like to have an abundance mindset. It’s never that easy in the real world. It takes time and effort to get your body right, increase your money, and build yourself up in the sexual marketplace. But if you do it then you will kill off any neediness you have. Because you know you can replace any woman with a better one.
If you’re single and just became needy from oneitis with a girl you saw casually, then it’s time to expand your options. Become a player for a while and see what it’s like when you have lots of options.
4. Distance yourself from her
Distance yourself from the girl you feel needy towards. Hitting her up all the time and waiting for her to respond to you will only leave you disappointed. Stop chasing her.
Give her space to actually miss you. Don’t block her number. But simply leave her alone. Go after your purpose, make yourself a better man, and make memories on your own + with other people. Forget about her. If she never hits you up then you’ll move on and date more attractive women.
More than likely though, if you wait, it’s just a matter of time before you hear from her.
5. Pursue sex only
Pursue sex with her, and nothing else. Sounds fucked up but you’ll actually get more love and affection from women this way.
This is true for a girl you haven’t fucked and a girl you’ve fucked many times. Let the woman pursue you emotionally and romantically.
The man needs to pursue sex only. It may sound like a messed up approach if you’re blue pilled. But any man who takes the red pill knows what works. And that’s pursuing sex. If you pursue sex then things can always advance later on. But if you don’t pursue sex, then things will never get sexual. Even if you really like the girl for more than that, act as if you don’t. If you only pursue her for sex, she’ll start to pursue you for her own validation.
Even if you want to date this girl, she has to be the own pushing for the relationship. So whether you’re a real player or secretly just a wanna-be-boyfriend, act like a player. Down the road you’ll be able to choose if you want to date her more seriously when she tries to lock you down for a relationship.
Realize that you don’t need any woman
It’s a game changing moment in life when you realize you don’t need a woman. You don’t need a girlfriend or any particular woman in your life to fulfill you.
But it’s still fun to have them in your life as part of your lifestyle. When you like women and sex, but don’t need it, is when you get to have the most fun. And as a man, that’s how it should be. You don’t need a woman by your side. You’re good all by yourself. Because you’ve adopted a pimp mentality. You don’t need any woman to complete you. You’re not clingy with women. And there’s no way in hell you’re ever getting married. That way you can avoid being clingy due to fear of divorce rape.
Realize this, and then you’ll know how to stop being needy. Focus on yourself, and when you do add women to your life, make it fun. The only thing you should need is your health, wealth, and happiness.