April 26

Ignoring her when she goes cold: Ignore her to attract her


Ignoring her when she goes cold

Ignoring her when she goes cold in the only real option you have.  Your girlfriend went cold on you for whatever reason.  Or maybe she’s not your girlfriend.  Regardless, the reasons are the same.

The steaks are higher when it’s a girlfriend whose going cold on you.  If it’s a girl you see casually then you shouldn’t get too worked up over it.  But maybe you really like her or you have a big ego as a lot of get in the game.  There’s tons of reasons she goes cold.  You could’ve:

And in general giving her too much attention and not being masculine.  Or she goes cold because she’s thinking about a guy at work, have friends saying bad things about you, and so on.  She goes cold for many reasons.  Sometimes it’s your fault but many times it’s not.

What you do determines how the relationship will play out.  She’s basically starting to ignore you.  Ignoring her is the only option you have if you want her back into you.  And even if you don’t want her back, it’s the best way for you to begin to move on and live life.  You also save face for later.

Ignoring her?  Shouldn’t I pursue harder?

Ignoring her

Ignoring her when she goes cold is the best option you have.  Because she’ll either drift apart, and you’ll be able to move on.  Or she’ll realize she’s losing you and she’ll try and win your attention back.  Her attraction for you will grow again.

Guys ask me will ignoring her work?  And the answer is yes.

If you chase her when she’s losing interest, she’ll lose even more interest.  I know it’s backwards but that’s how women are.

If you ignore when she goes cold, she’ll either drift apart or realize she’s messing up and she’ll stop being cold.  You need to have checks and balances in a relationship.  If you reward her bad behavior of going cold on you with more attention, you’re lowering your value and showing both you and her that you have low self respect.

Drifting apart and getting over her

This varies a lot depending on the relationship you have with a girl.  If she’s a new girl you’re dating and she goes cold, then you really shouldn’t even make it a big deal to yourself.

She could be talking with an ex and trying to work things out, busy with life, and so on.  Unless you’re really charismatic, she’s not going to have a big attachment to you yet.

If she’s your girlfriend or a girl you’ve been seeing for a long time then it’s a little bit different.  She should have an attachment for you.

But she goes cold for the same reasons still.  She could be cheating on you.  Or even just considering cheating on you.  She could just be losing attraction to you because you’re acting weak.  There’s many reasons.  Or she’s just in a slump in life and it’s not related to you.  But either way, you can’t chase her.   She needs to come to you if she’s the one pulling back.  You don’t need to be a detective and figure it out.  If you’re acting weak then you probably already know that.  And if you were doing everything right then you know something is off on her end.

Either way, she’s drifting off.  Ignoring her is the best option.  Give her the space she’s asking for.

She’ll come back to win your attention

red pill relationship

They always come back.  Especially if this girl was your girlfriend or someone you’ve been seeing for a long time.  Ignore her to attract her.

If she’s ignoring you and you’r ignoring her, then it may take a while to hear from her again.  But you need to let her come back to you.  Regardless of it was you being weak or her being up to no good.

To emphasize, this is for women whop are going cold on you.  If you go cold on a woman, she could chase you or she could value herself and not talk to you either.  But when someone goes cold on you, you can’t chase them.  You need to give them space.

For girlfriends

If it was your mistake, as in you became too weak, too needy, etc., then you can try and keep the relationship going.  However, if she was drifting off because she was cheating on you, then cut that woman off.  You don’t deserve dealing with that negative energy in your life.

If you just started dating her, then you can let her come back, be submissive, but still maintain how things were.

She might’ve met another guy or been dealing with other guys.  But you two aren’t in a relationship so it shouldn’t matter anyways.  You’re not making her your wife just yet so slow down.

How to ignore her

But the hardest part is actually ignoring her.  She’ll likely come back around.  But it’s not easy ignoring her when you really like her or you think she’s really gorgeous.

  1. Follow your purpose
  2. Get in the gym

1. Follow your purpose

man figuring out purpose

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep on saying it.  Your purpose needs to be your #1 focus in your life.  It’s when you combine something you enjoy and something you’re good at in a way that can provide value to others.   You can turn your purpose into your own business.  This business will allow you to quit that job you hate and have financial freedom.  Whether you want to be a minimalist and travel often or work to build your wealth up, you’ll have options.

And as the CEO of your own company, you’ll gain more money and status.  It takes some sacrifice in the short term to get it going.  This means you might get less women and sometimes no women because you’re so busy building your business.  But after two years of grinding on the side, you can quit your full time job, have your own business, and still have left over time to date high quality women.

When you start building momentum on your purpose – ignoring her, this girl that you’re stressing about – won’t even be an issue.

2. Get in the gym

But in the short term, you’re going to need to keep yourself busy, feeling good, and also boost your attractiveness to women.  Get your ass in the gym.  Lifting weights is one of the best ways of ignoring her when she goes cold.  It allows you to focus solely on building muscle.  You’ll feel like a beast afterwards.  And you’ll have an easier time dating other girls.

You have the power

You need to be ignoring her when she goes cold so she understands you’re the one in charge.  Otherwise she can’t respect you and she’ll continue to lose attraction.  Let her come back to your leadership, or never hear from her again as you move on like nothing every happened.


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1 year ago

Hi I made a mistake of not telling her I m going out. She was angry I convinced and apologised. But she has something in her mind might be other guy or any pblm with him. I don’t know. She says she misses me and things like that then I asked to meet her. She gave only little time and seems cold uninterested. And when asked she said work pressure and then I started to pull back the attention suddenly she said it was becoz of me. Then I said bye and we left. It happened yesterday. Till now I… Read more »

Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

She says she broke up with him. That’s the reason she feel low. She says she loves me things like that. The guy is coming back to her continously and I m sure she ll again mingle with him and they ll join. In this time I think I should not go to her and even If I love I ll be a second option I don’t want to be like that. I m just speaking to her casually and doesn’t give a shit because I find she is not the one for me. I want a girl who should… Read more »

Jay 01
Jay 01
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

I’m going through the same exact situation dating a woman who just broke up with her boyfriend recently and sometimes she just ignores me. Rebel you seem to be a wise man, I’ll take your advice.

1 year ago

Rebel J, I just want to say thank you for your good work on this website, really helping alot of men.
I have a question though, it’s seems maintaining a ltr is hardcore and requires work.
I have a gf 1yr6mo but I noticed flagging energy unlike when we started, and when she goes cold and gives me an attitude I also do the same and ignore her but what bugs me is, is it possible to keep her in check and maintain the attraction over time or is it doomed to explode as familiarity breeds contempt.

1 year ago


11 months ago

Hey rebel, I saw a girl 5 times over the course of 2 months. I then acted weak (she told me one night I only saw her to fuck her, then I got into my head and called her the next day to tell her that wasnt the case – she told me on the phone that she wasnt mad at me, so basically I was just blowing up a problem because of getting in my head). The next week I asked her to hang out, and she said she had plans all week. Since then I’ve ignored her. Not… Read more »

3 months ago

I work in hospitals. Acting stupid is weak. Stupids are stereotypically are patients. You compete against highly educated people who are less stupid than you’re. I’m civilized. If I don’t like you, I don’t waste your time and vice versa. If I give you attention, value it. If you ignore me, I will ignore you forever. I’m not ugly or unattractive, so dating is not that hard.

11 days ago

recently my ex and i started talking again and we hung out and it got too a place but when i was gonna put it in she was like i dont want too, later she told me it was because she didnt wanna get attached. we still messed around and she gave me head and i asked if she was down too link sunday and she said yes and then two hours later she said i dont think we should contact each other and we should leave each other alone and i said thats fine with me if you wanna… Read more »

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