I’m an Introverted Man, How can I Talk + Meet More Women?
So you’re an introverted man, but you want to know how to talk and meet girls? Well you’re not alone. In fact, I get a ton of messages from men asking me about this. Especially younger guys under 25. A lot of young, introverted men write to me saying they’re good looking, or decent looking, but just aren’t great with talking to girls. They want to know what they can do as an introverted man to meet girls, get laid, get a girlfriend, and so on.
And I get it. Even though I’ve been a player, been in sales for years, and might seem extroverted, I’m a naturally introverted guy. I had to force myself to step out of what I naturally was like. And if you’re an introverted man, you’ll need to do the same.
Introverted vs extroverted
Introverted men prefer to stay to themselves. They don’t mind spending time alone. They likely have few friends, but close relationships.
Extroverted men prefer to be around people. They’re always making plans, and get energized by hanging out with the boys. They get energized from people, where as an introvert gets energized from hanging out alone.
Most of us have some degree of both. Many men have one that’s clearly dominate. I’m guessing most of you reading this are introverted men by nature. After all, introverts are the types to spend time on the internet looking for answers so they can strategize their life.
And like I said, it’s fine to be an introverted man. I’m that way myself. But you need to exercise your extroverted self. This doesn’t mean you need to compete with the extroverted social guy in his field per say. However, you still need to be in the world if you want worldly things like a dating life.
You live in a world full of people
You still need to approach and talk to women. Even if you’re an introverted man, you’re always going to need to deal with people. You can minimize this in some ways by working for yourself. But even then, most entrepreneurs will talk to more people, not less.
But when it comes to women, you need to socialize with them. It might seem like a big deal right now. However, you need to take the first steps. You need to talk to women if you want sex, affection, and feminine energy in your life. I’ll get into a few ways below on how introverted men can still utilize the analytical strengths to meet women.
At the end of the day, you still need to overcome your fears. You don’t need to become a cold approach machine or a pick up artist. I don’t recommend you do that anyways. Getting women as an introvert isn’t that hard.
But you do need to be willing to accept the fact that you’re going to man up. If you can just accept it, then this will be much easier for you. That’s half the battle. Especially when you stop caring about the judgement from others. Then failure, or fear of failure with women, becomes nothing to you.
Why you’re using introverted as an excuse
You don’t like talking or approaching women. Well, I use to hate it in my younger years. But don’t use it as an excuse. Instead of viewing yourself as an introverted man, view yourself as a man who values his time and energy. You don’t have an issue talking to people, it’s just not your go to state of existence. But you’re able to do it to get what you want and to enjoy life.
Don’t let the mental fear of talking to people hold you back. There are plenty of successful people who are introverts. When you realize that Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, and Elon Musk are all introverted men, but still attacked the world and thrived in it, then you’ll realize that you can too. Introverted doesn’t mean you suck at talking to people. It means you just don’t need to talk to people to be happy. But you do need to talk and socialize if you want women and success.
It’s not bad to be an introverted man. You just need to accept that interacting with people is necessary part of getting the things you want. Then you might actually enjoy it.
Getting girls as an Introverted Man
Alright, so enough of the pep talk. You want to get girls as an introverted man? Well, besides me telling you to “just get out there”, here’s a few things you can actually do.
- Learn how to dance
- Leverage online dating
- Raise your smv high as hell
- Let girls talk
1. Learn how to dance
One of the best things an introverted man can do is learn how to dance. Dancing, like salsa or bachata, is a skill you can go learn. You literally are taught moves in dance classes in which you can practice. There’s the basic step, some spins, turns, cross-body leads, and other variations you get to practice.
In time, you become a decent dancer.
As an introverted man, you love figuring out the exact process of how something works. You like to analyze shit. So analyze dance. Take an aspect of nightlife, like dancing, get good at it, and then use that as part of your game.
There’s very little talking if any when you’re dancing. And when you learn how to dance and go to salsa/bachata clubs, approaching women is much, much, much easier. Did I mention it was easier?
Not only are the ratio’s in your favor, but the women are there to dance. The vast majority of women will dance with you. And if a woman says no, it’s usually polite, and it’s not a big deal. You can get rejected at a salsa/bachata club, go up and ask another girl right in front of the one who said no, and she’ll say yes to you.
At regular nightclubs, any girl who saw you get rejected would also reject you. But in dancing clubs/avenues, it’s not like that. Because it’s considered rude not to take a dance with someone if you’re near the dance floor but not dancing.
I can’t stress this enough. All of the information on the internet on how to meet women at bars/clubs, why introverted men shouldn’t, and just weird energy around it. But if you learn how to dance, and go dance with women, then you won’t need to learn how to build crazy, unrealistic confidence of a psychopath. You’ll meet tons of women, have a connection with them, and will get a lot of sex out of very little talking.
2. Leverage online dating
The introverted man should also leverage online dating. You still should go out and meet women in real life. For most of us, that’s how we’re going to meet the hottest women, as they just get so much attention in online dating apps.
But there’s no denying the power of online dating as a useful tool. You can in fact get a ton of women just from tinder if you’re in New York City or traveling abroad where you have high sexual market value. In fact, if you’re a stud, you can clean up in online dating.
Even if you’re not a young Brad Pitt, having dating apps to build your pipeline of women is still a great idea.
Introverted men can utilize strategies like maximizing their pictures and sending out mass messages to women. It’s a great way to set up first dates, invite women straight to your place, and build an abundance mindset.
If you’re an introverted man, you need to be careful not to spend hours each day staring at your dating apps. But as long as you can stay focused during the day and then allocate 20-30 minutes at night to messaging girls, you’d be a fool not to use tinder and dating apps as a way to meet women.
3. Raise your sexual market value high as hell
Raise your smv as high as possible. All men should do this. But the introverted man needs to especially do this. A more extroverted man can get away with decent sexual market value if he has a solid personality and is just talking to more girls.
Introverted men need to still do this, but realize that talking to as many girls and being the most charismatic person isn’t his strong suit.
So instead, play to your strengths. Use your analytical skills to figure out the best clothes that make you look like a stud. Workout like crazy to get a sexy body. Eat well so you’re lean and girls can see your muscles. Develop a purpose, work towards it everyday, and build your wealth.
Be smart with your money so you can achieve financial freedom. But once you have a freedom fund and work for yourself, you can flaunt some of your wealth with a nice watch, clothes, and shoes. This doesn’t mean you’re not a beta bucks. More like the rich alpha male.
The introverted man can raise his sexual market value like crazy by coming up with a game plan and executing it. If you do that, you’ll have plenty of women who will show you choosing signals.
And if you learn how to dance like I mentioned above, you can get pictures of yourself doing that, and use that to post on Instagram. Which by the way, a good looking introverted man can strategize and grow his social profile. Giving yourself a strong social presence on Instagram will make getting laid a lot easier. And it’s one way a more introverted guy can leverage his natural analytical abilities to help him in the dating game. Because social media is about creating a perception. A smart, introverted man can actually have one of the best profiles and get a good following if he puts in some effort. It baffles me how so many men complain about online nature of things yet don’t ever realize they can take advantage of it and make it work in their own life.
4. Let girls talk
Women don’t want a man who’s going to blab around and talk over them. Women love talking. If you’re an introverted man, then be the cool, sexy guy who makes a witty joke once in a while.
You need to get in front of more girls so you can do this. But start off talking to 6’s and 7’s. Then work your way up to 8’s, 9’s, and maybe even 10’s once in a while. You’ll realize that the hotter girls are still the same.
When you let them talk, but can still be masculine, flirty, and lead them with questions or remarks, you’;ll reAlize that talking to girls is easy.
The biggest mistake introverted men make with talking to women is trying to figure out exactly what to say. I get so many questions from guys who say they’re an introverted man and just want to know exactly what to say. I get it, but it’s the wrong frame to come from. Instead, reframe it by making it about the vibe. You want things to be fun, chill, and sexy between you and the girl.
It’s never about saying specific words. Never. It’s all about vibes and the feeling. As an introverted man, this may seem odd to you. But you can develop your ability to vibe with women if you practice. Get more dates, and practice vibing with girls.
Masculine as hell
You don’t need to be an extrovert to be masculine. In fact, some of the most dominant men in history have been introverted. They prefer to say less and take more action. But they were men of action and execution. They didn’t sit around and complain.
They didn’t act nervous or whine about them being introverted. Masculine men still talk to people.
I’m a natural introvert
I’m a natural introvert. How do you think I’m able to grind on my business for hours with no interaction? I enjoy being by myself. When I was younger, talking to girls, approaching them, and flirting seemed like foreign concepts to me.
But you know what I did? I worked out, built my body, got decent style, and learned to talk to people. Eventually I got good with women, was able to become a leader in relationships, and be a man. I learned how to do sales, and sell business people consulting services. My job was to talk to people, even though I’m introverted by nature.
Just do it
And you learn by just doing it. Just go out. Even if you fail, you’re going to realize it’s not a big deal. Any successful person needs to talk to people. Introverted people need to get out of their heads and learn to deal with the outside world. Extroverts need to be able to look inwards and strategize like an introvert is able to do.
I’m not saying you need to become the world’s best talker with women or in life. But you need to stop using the introverted man excuse. So what if you’re naturally to yourself? So are many men. Instead, you just need to realize that you’re a human being. It’s fine to be introverted and prefer time by yourself.
But if you want to sleep with women, build a business, and leave a legacy, you still need to talk to people. It doesn’t need to be your favorite thing. Just get out and do it. You’ll feel good about talking with people and building those skills.
If you don’t, and you just complain, you’ll let life pass you by as you see extroverted men and introverts who stepped out of their comfort zone go out and live life. We all have comfort zones to break. As an introverted man, you can leverage online dating, and do other things to minimize going out all the time. But at the end of the day, if you want the results, you need to step out of your comfort zone. You’ll get what you want when you do what’s needed.
Why does the dragon have the gold? It’s because what you want is usually where you least want to look.