August 12

Monk Mode: 8 Reasons Why you Should Take Time off from Women

Monk Mode

Monk mode can be extremely beneficial for a man to enter.  This article will discuss some of the prime benefits of monk mode, along with a few extra tips.

What’s monk mode? 

Monk mode is similar to, but not the same as nofap.  A man who enters monk mode isn’t sleeping with women, or really dealing with them in any kind of sexual / dating sense.  Nofap is more about not having orgasms and semen retention, where you could still potentially have sex.  The monk mode meaning – in the way I practice it – is more focused on not pursuing women in general.  But to get the best results, you can also avoid masturbating and watching porn – you should never be watching porn.

Monk Mode Rules

Monk mode means you’re not trying to chase women.  For me, I’ve also done no alcohol as part of my monk mode diet, in which I’m cutting out more junk foods + toxins from my life.

Essentially, monk mode is where you take time off from the dating game to work on yourself.  And while it’s not something I recommend you do for your whole life – unless you’re trying to achieve spiritual enlightenment – there’s too many benefits for me to not advise you try it out.

Recap of Monk Mode Rules

  1. No chasing women or sex, no masturbation, no porn
  2. Reduction of alcohol and drugs -moderate caffeine is still okay
  3. Eating healthy
  4. Consistent lifting / physical training
  5. Focus on your purpose

No chasing women, sex, and no masturbation + porn is clear as day.  Ideally you never watch porn, but if you do, you must cut that out when doing monk mode.  Either a complete reduction or limited alcohol intake is necessary for monk mode as well.

The rest of the monk mode rules should be followed regardless of whether you’re in monk mode or not.

For example, eating healthy is also part of monk mode, but this should be done regardless.  While you might eat whatever you want normally, monk mode is the perfect time to get your diet together.

Monk mode diet

Monk mode diet should be your normal diet, but this is a good time to start eating right.  Cut out processed foods.  If you’re going to eat meat, eat only grass-fed high quality meat or high quality seafood.  Pair that with vegetables, mushrooms, nuts, and fruit.

No extra sugar like cookies and no heavy carbs like pizza, pasta, etc.

You can have a cheat meal once a week, but ideally the monk mode diet consists of eating healthy and only consuming the best nutrients.


Purpose should be the main reason you’re taking time off of women.  What is the purpose you’re doing this.  Monk mode after a break up is one purpose.  You could be using it to get over a girl.  Or you could be using this time to focus more on your life’s purpose.

Maybe you’re trying to learn how to code, work on a side business, or devout time to a specific area in your life.  Whatever the reason, there needs to be a purpose.  That’s how you’re going to stick to the monk mode rules.  If you have no reason, the ambition to keep going will fade.  Give yourself a reason to enter into this state.

Reasons why you should enter monk mode

  1. Enjoy your hobbies
  2. Better sleep
  3. Focus on your purpose
  4. more time with friends
  5. less stress
  6. spiritual cleansing
  7. Time to reflect
  8. Build your value

1. Enjoy your hobbies

monk mode - hobbies - bjj

Taking time off from women opens up more time for you to do the things you love.  That could mean more time for you to study martial arts like boxing or brazilian jiu-jitsu.  Or it could mean you have more time to read, paint, work on cars, or whatever it is you love to do.

One of my hobbies, besides martial arts, is dancing.  Even though dancing is cool for meeting girls, monk mode gave me a huge benefit on the dance floor.  I wasn’t worried about meeting girls, getting numbers, or scouting out the hottest girls in the club.

Monk mode allowed me to focus on actually enjoying dancing in a much bigger way.  And it gave me the ability to get a lot better much faster.  I didn’t care who I asked to dance since I was only there to get better.  And be default, I ended up having a great time with beautiful women.  And I also improved on my dancing technique.  I’m still not some dancing star or champion.

And I always enjoyed salsa before.  But I was really able to just appreciate it for what it was.

If you have hobbies like camping, hiking, or anything else that you love but takes you out of the game, then monk mode will give you an opportunity to do these things.

2. Better sleep

You’ll be surprised at how much better you sleep when you’re not chasing women.  And since you won’t be out at the club at 2, 3, or 4am, you’ll be able to maintain a regular sleep schedule everyday of the week.  This makes a big difference for your energy levels.  One of the best benefits of monk mode is your ability to be productive and get shit done.  You can make a lot progress more than you think with even 3-6 months.

3. Focus on your purpose

ways to invest in yourself, start a business

The most important thing in any man’s life should be his purpose.  Your purpose combines what you love, what you’re good at, and what you can make money with.  If you have an entrepreneur’s mindset, then you’ll make your purpose into a business.

One of the benefits of having a purpose is that it value and opens up your dating options.  But that’s only at a point where your purpose is paying you back for the work you put in.  There’s still the initial work to get your business started.  Ramping up a business, even if you love it, takes many hours of work and grinding before it’s making real money for you.

Entering into monk mode will allow you to either start your business or really take it to new levels.

Out of all the best monk mode results, the freedom it gives you to focus on your business is going to be the best one for most men.  This is what will allow you to achieve financial freedom and gain control over your life.

It can be distracting to build your wealth when you have a girlfriend or you’re in the dating game.  And while mastering your time management can make it possible, sometimes it’s just easier when you’re hyper focused on one thing.  Monk mode allows you to focus on your purpose in a way that most men just can’t manage.

4. More time with friends

how to build muscle - hanging out with the boys

Less time chasing women means you have more time with friends.  Sure, you can get women while hanging out with the right friends who like to go out.  But sometimes your friends just want to go to a sports game or drink from home.  As a man, you shouldn’t be stressing about not getting pussy all the time.

When you’re in monk mode, this is 10x easier as you’re actively not trying to have a dating life.

Having beers every night and wasting your weekends away shouldn’t be the norm.  But when you’re taking breaks from putting in massive amounts of time on your business, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with your friends.  After all, a serious player may neglect his friends when he’s in the game and sleeping with a lot of women.  Don’t forget the friends you have and be sure to maintain solid relationships with bros you have your back.

5. Less stress

When you deal with women, you have shit tests and all kinds of drama.  There’s no way around it.  You can minimize the bullshit you endure by dating feminine women, having a masculine frame, leading relationships, shutting down drama, and cutting off women who are too much.

But at the end of the day, there’s going to be added stress that comes with women.  Monk mode allows you to not have to deal with the stress that dating brings.  It gives you a chance to relax and live on your own terms.  You won’t need to worry about flakes, having 3-4 girls lined up for a night so you have an abundance mindset, or your annoying girlfriend who won’t stop nagging you.

6. Spiritual cleansing

meditation - spiritual cleansing

After being in the game for a while, it’s good to take some time off.  Dealing with all of these women back to back can feel rough on your soul.  One of the great benefits mode provides you with time for spiritual cleansing.  It’s good to get all of the energies that women bring out of your system.

Even if you’re not a spiritual man, the psychological cleansing you get is still the same.  Even though you love the warm walls of a woman, you’ll feel more pure from giving into your cardinal desires.  It’s good for your psyche to get a break from the constant stimulation of sex and women.

7. Time to reflect

Time away from women gives you time to reflect on your own life.  It’s critical for a man to have goals for the current year, 5 years, and 10 years down the line.  This allows you to plan out your life so you can accomplish the things you want to while you’re here.

It’s easy to get caught up with dating and lose track of what you really want out of life.  One of the benefits of monk mode gives you an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve done so far, what you need to improve on, and what you need to do to get where you want to go.

8. Build your value

give value to get what you want

When you build your value, things start to change for the better.  You’ll build more wealth and possibly become rich.  Skills you have can increase, whether those skills improve your money or just your overall lifestyle.

Building your value is important if you want to have more dating options, gain more respect from others, and to feel better about yourself.  Monk mode allows you to focus on building the value you provide to yourself + the world.

You may skip out on opportunities to better yourself when you’re in the game.  But you won’t do that when you’re actively avoiding meeting + sleeping with women.  Instead, you’ll actually be able to focus on getting better at things and making yourself a better man.

How long should you enter monk mode for?

how to find your purpose

How long you’re in monk mode will vary on many things.  It depends on your current living situation, where your business is at, and what your goals are.  If you already have your own business, live in a city, and have a decent sexual market value, then you might be in monk mode for 4 or 5 months before seeing women again.

If you’re living with parents, don’t have much of a career, and still need to do a lot to raise your value, then you might be in monk mode for a whole year.

There’s no rules on this, it’s your own life.  But I’d say be in monk mode anywhere from 3 to 12 months.

That way you get the benefits of monk mode but still get to enjoy time in the dating game afterwards.

If you’re a man in  your 20’s or 30’s you shouldn’t be in monk mode forever.  Older guys can decide to do that if they want.  Because if you’re 40+, you’ve likely already had a lot of fun dating, might have kids, and won’t have as strong of a sex drive.  There’s still older bachelors who are killing it in the dating game, but at that age, you can decide on if monk mode is a permanent move or not.

For my younger readers, use monk mode as a tool to improve your skills, level up your life, and enjoy other things outside of women.  But most men should still have a dating life and not be a monk for the majority of your young years.

You don’t need to sleep with 10, 20, or 3o women a year after you’re done from monk mode.  You sleep with a few high quality women or get a girlfriend if you want.  But coming out of this type of focused period should put you in a better position to be a higher quality man and therefore get higher quality women.

Monk mode isn’t an excuse to not be in the game

Virgins and guys with little to no experience also shouldn’t use this time as an excuse not to be in the game.  This isn’t to hate on virgins.  It’s just that monk mode will do you more harm than good, because what you need is more experience, not less.

If you’ve dated around and decided you’re done with being a player or dating all together, then that’s up to you.

For most of you guys though, you’re going to be in the game and enjoying dating / relationships for the majority of your youth.  Use monk mode for periods of a few months to a year in order to take a step back from things.  Grow your business.  Spend time with friends and family.  Reflect on what you want out of life.

Then get back in the game with your improved value and fresh energy.  The benefits on monk mode are close to endless.  Don’t obsess over it or hate on it.  Use it as a powerful tool to enhance the quality of your life, your value, and your perspective.


monk, monk mode, nofap, not dating women

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2 years ago

Very useful article

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