My girlfriend dumped me, what should I do?
So your girlfriend dumped you? Sucks bro. You probably want her back and show her how great you can be.
Here’s the thing. In most cases it’s better to just move on. You may be able to get her back or may not. That being said, getting dumped by your girlfriend sucks. You’re in a weak position. In essence, you’ve been rejected by the person you thought was on your team. However people break up. It’s a reality of life. And in most cases, it’s the woman breaking up with the man.
I get a questions from heartbroken mean who ask “she dumped me, will she come back?” and “how to get my ex girlfriend back after she dumped me”. Guys want to know if your girlfriend breaks up with you will she come back.
Well that depends on your situation, how much she used to like you, and how you acted during the break up and afterwards. You can get her back after she dumped you, but it all depends on your actions. Let’s cover our bases first.
Why did she dump you?
When your girlfriend dumps you, it’s important to realize why she did so. You don’t need to spend the next 3 months thinking about this. And you definitely don’t need to ask her or be desperate. With some reflection it should be clear. You were either too beta or too alpha.
Too beta
Acting too beta is when you’r acting weak, bad at sex, and in general had no power in the relationship.
This will be 90% of you.
Too alpha
Or you were part of the 10% of guys who got dumped who were too alpha. Yes, you can be dumped by your girlfriend for being too alpha. This is if you didn’t give her any validation, were always a jerk, cheated (don’t recommend), and so on. However, if this is the case, you can get her back if you really want to. And more than likely, if you just ignore her, she’ll come back to you.
Ideally in a relationship you’re mainly alpha, or masculine, but still have some affection and ability to be a decent person. So you’re masculine, leading the relationship, and attractive, but can still enjoy each other’s company and have a loving relationship.
Anyways, relationship dynamics are for another article. Right now you’re hurting because your girlfriend dumped you. And if you’re really hurting from it, it’s likely because you were too beta. So assuming you were weak in some capacity, you need to make the right moves.
How weak were you? And how much did she like you?
If you were generally strong and masculine, fucked well, but just started to lose power in the relationship, then it’s possible to get her back. And this is especially true if you dated for 2 or 3 years or some considerable amount of time. If this girl was only your girlfriend for a month or two then she really was not that interested in you to dump you so quickly.
Basically, the girl still needs to have some attachment for you if you want to get her back, sleep with her again, or even just have her hit you up.
This is all situational. I get emails from guys who met a girl online, went on one date, and then say their girlfriend dumped them. I wouldn’t even consider that a real relationship.
There are other guys who email me about a 2 year or 5 year relationship and then things got bad, their girlfriend dumped them, and now they don’t know what to do. That was a real break up, which hurts more, but also means you have a chance at getting her back.
Is it possible to get her back?
Yes, it’s possible you can get your ex girlfriend back after she dumped you. Given that she has attachment to you still. Should you? Well, probably not. You started acting weak and that turned her off. But again, I know you just want her back so badly right?
Become valuable and stop caring
Getting your girlfriend back after she dumped you requires for you to be a motherfucking man. Which means you need to become more valuable and stop caring. In my article on how to impress women, I talk about becoming valuable and not caring is the best way to impress girls. By not actually giving a fuck about what any woman thinks and at the same time becoming the man all women want.
That way you’ll know you have tons of options and you’ll have a real abundance mindset.
And that’s how you get your girlfriend back after she dumped you.
Begging won’t work to get her back. And even if it does, for example if you two dated for a long time and she’s super attached, she’ll have the power in the relationship. Which means that the relationship will be doomed and you’ll get dumped again. You don’t want to beg for her back. If you get in a relationship with her again, it needs to be her begging for you back. That’s because you need to make yourself the value. Then you can have her coming back to be with you and you can choose that or new women.
Become valuable
When you become valuable, your confidence sky rockets. You’ll have more options with women and you’ll realize your desperateness will go away. You can become valuable by raising your sexual market value. In essence, raising your value as a man.
1. Body / looks
You do this by getting your body right, lifting weights, having incredible style, eating well, having a good haircut, and looking your best.
2. Money / career
Then you need to focus on your career. Make more money at the job you have if you love it. If you hate it, then start a side business with something you love. This will also give you more status in the long run.
3. Status
In the short term, you can gain more social status by hanging out with your friends more, traveling, and having a fun social life. Show this off on Instagram and build a social following. This is like honey that attracts women and games women you already know. Including your ex girlfriend who dumped you. Don’t block her or do anything like that. Just have the willpower to avoid looking at her shit. Let her look at your shit and see the life you live.
However it’s critical you’re not living this dope life just to get her back. That might happen. You’re giving yourself the best chance to make that happen. Ultimately, you’re just living your best life. You’re sending out good energy to the universe. Chances are good you’ll be able to get her back, but if not, then all of this effort will help you get higher quality women.
Stop caring
Making yourself more valuable ensures that you’re a great option for her or any woman. Because whether you want to admit it or not, women are the biggest players. They always evaluate their options and go for the best one. It’s hypergamy, and why the species has evolved and survived this long, so don’t be mad. Use that knowledge to your advantage by becoming a high value man.
And then you need to stop caring. Becoming more valuable will help. But it’s not enough. If you raise your outer value but still care about getting back your girlfriend who dumped you, you’re going to fuck things up. Because she’ll text you or want to meet up eventually, and you’ll be too weak mentally to do things the right way.
That’s why you need to stop caring. Will you stop caring completely? Probably not. If you really didn’t care then you wouldn’t be reading this article or putting the effort in. So you’ll care some. That’s fine. It just needs to be not that much. And definitely less than her.
She needs to pursue you
If she cares less than you, then you’ll be pursuing her to get her back. She won’t take you back and if she does, it won’t last. Women need to pursue relationships. You just need to keep things chill, flirty, and sexual. But you need to let her chase you.
And how are you going to keep things flirty, chill, fun, no pressure, and non-weak? By caring a lot less than you did when your girlfriend dumped you.
What every man who gets dumped needs to do
It’s easier said then done. But you can do things to actually care less. And the biggest thing you need to do is
- date more girls in the meantime
This is especially true if you’re a younger guy or have a low notch count. If you’re an experienced player and have slept with 30 or 50 girls, then dating other girls will still help, but not always as necessary. Because you already have the confidence you can get with other women. And a player will.
But for the guys who are younger or simply not as experienced, which are most of the emails I get, dating other women is a necessity. And the more experienced guys already know to do this.
Dating and sleeping with new girls will raise your confidence. And when your confidence raises, you feel amazing about yourself, you’ll be much more masculine. And when your ex girlfriend does hit you up, things will be on your terms.
Get in the game
So get on dating apps like tinder and hinge. Hit the bars and clubs with your boys or solo, whatever you do best in. In fact going out with your boys is one of the best things you can do after you get dumped by your girlfriend. You won’t feel lonely with them and you’ll be in a much better mood. And therefore you’ll have a better chance at meeting other women.
You need to put yourself out there date and meet other women. I don’t care if you only want your former girlfriend back. She dumped you. Which means she’s now fucking and sucking other dudes. Why should you sit around waiting for a girl whose getting fucked by dudes who probably don’t even know her last name.
Hell maybe not even her first.
I know I’m painting a dark scenario. You should not be thinking about your ex fucking other people for very long. Just for a second so you can slap yourself and get your ass up off the couch. Get back in the dating world. And go sleep with a new girls. They don’t all need to be attractive at first, sometimes you need to jump back in the game with an easy win. However, the best way to have an abundance mindset is to get girls on the same level or better than your ex.
Get better women
Luckily, most guys just settle down with the first decent looking chick that likes them. Which means that your ex girlfriend was probably cute, but not the best you could do. Which means you’ll feel like a boss when you get better girls. It can be harder to get over a girl when she is way hotter or better than any girl you’ve ever been with before if you’ve been in the game for a while.
However, if you’ve only slept with 2 or 3 girls and you thought she is the most beautiful thing in the world then don’t worry. That’s just the loss of her that’s making you blow her up in your head. You have the ability to get girls like her and better.
It all starts with getting back in the game. Date other women, get a fuckbuddy or two or three and have fun. You’ll realize that you don’t need your ex girlfriend. You can actually live your life and get better after being dumped.
I know it can seem hard at first. But you need to get back out there and meet other women. When you do, you’ll be able to feel confident as fuck. You’ll realize you don’t need your girlfriend who dumped you.
Let her miss you
When you realize this, you actually have the best chance at getting her back. Your now ex-girlfriend is probably feeling relieved she finally broke up with you. But in time, especially if you two dated for a while, she’ll start to miss you. She’ll look back at pictures of you two together. If you had a good sex game then she’ll think about you when she’s horny.
When you post on social media she’ll see it herself or one of friends might say something to her.
You need to let her miss you. If you were being too beta then your girlfriend dumped you because she lost attraction for you. By actually becoming valuable, stop caring, and moving on with your life, she’ll regret her decision. For those that were too alpha, you can try to get her back quickly. Or just actually move on as well, as she’ll be back.
And when she does hit you up, the ball will be in your court. If you’re still open to getting back with her, don’t make that apparent right away. Make plans to meet up, hook up, and stay in your masculine energy. Let her chase a relationship with you.
She dumped you because she couldn’t feel your manhood. By now you should have built that up. You can get back with her if you want, but now it’s time you lead the relationship and be the man you need to be in life.
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