My girlfriend wants to meet another man for drinks, what should I do?
I got a question from a man recently saying that his girlfriend wants to meet another man for drinks. She claims he’s an old friend and just wants to catch up. He asked her if he was gay and she said that no, to her knowledge he’s (the guy she’s going to get drinks with) is straight. He then proceeded to ask why and his girlfriend said just to catch up. So finally he conceded and said okay, but he didn’t feel right about it.
Which caused him to reach out to me.
He wonders if he did the right thing by playing it cool and letting her meet another man for drinks, or if he should’ve said no. He also mentioned she only asked because he saw another man text her phone when she was in the other room. Because her original weekend plans were to “meet with friends”, but now it was to meet another man for drinks and then meet up with her friends afterwards.
Girlfriends aren’t casual
A lot of guys confuse the same advice for girlfriends and girls they just started dating without a relaitonship. For a woman you’re not in a relationship with, it’s very possible she’s with other guys. In this case, you play it cool. In fact I tell women they can do what they want, but when she’s with me then it’s all about us. And that’s after seeing them for a while.
But this is not with girlfriends.
Some guys play it too cool and let their girlfriends do a lot of things that are disrespectful. Like her going out to meet another man for drinks.
But a woman you’re in a committed relationship with? Hell naw. What the is that bullshit and why would you put up with that?
Even if she asked without getting caught, my answer would be no. Unless it was a group of friends, which included gay men or boyfriends of other women, or family like brothers or cousins, it wouldn’t make sense for your woman to be getting drinks with another man.
Especially one on one, her getting a drink with a straight man. Think about it. You’re going to let her flex her options on you? A beta would. I will be harsh to you guys if that means you can see your beta tendencies early on and avoid pitfalls.
This is why setting standards in the beginning of the relationship is so key. This is where you say what you’re looking for in a relationship – after she pushes for one and you also want one – and what you expect for her. This gives you references and rules for situations like this. Which wouldn’t even come up if your woman had more respect for you.
She was caught
What makes this guys situation way worse is that she was already going to meet another man for drinks without telling him. She lied and he had to find out due to her phone going off. You have two huge red flags – her getting drinks with another man and even worse, her hiding it.
You need to dump this girl asap. She’s no good. Now, if you had a good girlfriend and she as asking you about it beforehand, you can skip to the next section. She’s flexing her hypergamous nature and you can shut this down and keep her in check.
But for my man that wrote to me and other men in similar situations, get rid of the girl. She’s no good. She’s going meet another man for drinks and wasn’t keeping it for you. For all you know, she was going to meet him for drinks at his apartment. Or she’s already been cheating on you with her side guy. This is more than likely. Dump her right now and don’t look back.
She’s being hypergamous
Let’s say she didn’t hide this from you. You have a seemingly decent girlfriend, but then she asks if meet another man for drinks. Women can test for strength, but a quality woman wouldn’t test like this unless you started acting like a beta male. She’d avoid disrespecting you by going out with another man.
But let’s go along with this scenario for a second. You have a girlfriend and she asks your permission, or just tells you, that she’s going to meet another man for drinks.
At worst she’s going to cheat on you, which is possible. At best, she’s being hypergamous and seeing if she can line up another man, or at least if other men seem interested in her.
A lot of women will complain that “men are all assholes” and that she just wants “male friends”. No, she knows what she’s doing. Women older than 18, especially decent looking women, know that men want to sleep with them. She knows that the guy she’s going on a date with wants to get at her. What she’s doing is either planning on cheating, or simply testing to see what she can get away with. Even if the guy is a beta loser, she’s trying to see what she can get away with in your relationship.
If you’re a beta, you’ll let her do what she wants. She’ll then start to lose even more respect for you and peg you as a chump. Eventually she’ll cheat on you and leave you.
Testing your strength
Women are hypergamous, which means they want the best option they can get. This doesn’t mean they’ll necessarily leave you for a guy just because he’s better looking or has more money. If you’re a man – then she can fall in love with you and see you as the best option, even if other guys are better looking, make more money, etc.
Her even asking to get drinks with another man is a test of your manhood. Will you let her flaunt her sexuality and spend time with a man who wants to sleep with her? Forget if the guy is a beta. That’s not the point. The point is that she’s seeing what you will put up with. If you put up with bad behavior, you’ll make her feel more valuable than you. Because someone whose less valuable will put up with more from someone whose more valuable.
But if you’re the one whose more valuable, you’re not going to put up with disrespect like this. You’ll shut that shit down real quick.
Tell her no, and then pullback attention
Tell her no, and then stop giving her attention for a few days. It was disrespectful for a girlfriend to even do something like this. She’s testing to see what you will tolerate and how much of a cuck she can make you. Don’t give into “it’s just drinks with another man, nothing serious”.
Her disrespect for your manhood it’s what’s serious. Some women or weak men will say that’s toxic masculinity. No, putting your foot down is real masculinity.
What’s toxic is for a woman to entertain a man who wants to sleep with her while she’s in a committed relationship with another man. Don’t fall for the bullshit mainstream media will try to tell you. The only thing toxic about masculinity is when there’s none of it. That’s better referred to as a lack of masculinity.
If you want to be more of a man, you can dump her for even considering this.
Specifically to the guy who wrote to me. Your girl got caught it it’s pretty clear that she was going to cheat or maybe has been cheating on you already. But even for my guys who have a girlfriend who says she’s going to meet another man for drinks. You should consider dumping her – if not now then in the near future.
Because a feminine woman whose in love with you wouldn’t consider grabbing drinks with another man. Again, not talking about her hanging out with family, gay friends, etc. Getting drinks with another man, who has intentions of sleeping with her. Because if he likes women, and she’s moderately attractive, he wants to sleep with her. No two ways about it.
What this article comes down to, like much of the content around masculinity, is respect. A man who has a real respect for himself wouldn’t even entertain this kind of terrible behavior from a woman.
That’s what it means to be a man at the end of the day. That’s how you hold a real masculine frame and have it be genuine. To have such a respect and love for yourself that you know what you’re with and what standard you have in life.
A man with self respect will have his fitness on point. He’ll be grinding in his career or at his business because he knows he deserves not just financial freedom and money, but fulfillment. He knows he offers a lot to this world and to everyone he comes in contact with. That includes women he decides to engage with. Even women that aren’t your girlfriend should have respect for you so that they don’t even want to talk about other men because they want to present themselves in the best light in your eyes.
And a girlfriend should have a whole other level of respect for you. You should’ve vetted for a high quality woman who would never ask this. But let’s say you didn’t vet her, or you did but she’s asking to meet another man for drinks anyways. You tell her that she can get drinks with another man. But she can do that and be single, because a girl you commit to should be blessed to have your pledge of loyalty.
This was me a year ago. Except that my gf at that time was going to “meet co workers for drinks” which happened a couple of weekends in a row I did not have many thoughts about it that time. But afterwards I noticed she was dressed up really crazy when she was going out, which would be a red flag. Not long time afterwards she dumped me, and moved together with her new boyfriend after two weeks who was 20 years older than her. She was obviously fucking her co worker for quite af while, but I did not… Read more »
That’s rough man. Yea the red flags are usually clear looking back at situations, but when you’re in them they can go right over your head.
I want to ask something about my girlfriend