Semen Retention | Self Control and Leadership
Developing self control and leadership should be a natural byproduct of semen retention. After all, while retaining you are showing some level of self control to not release your seed.
But besides the benefits of practicing semen retention – like increased energy, vigor, ambition, and creativity – you should also recognize other benefits that carry over from retaining. And one of the biggest benefits, if not the biggest, is developing real self control over your sexual urges.
It’s not that your sexual desire goes away. It’s part of a healthy human. However, the level of discipline you develop during semen retention should carry over to the future when you’re not retaining long term anymore. This is where the real benefit of semen retention lies that most guys don’t talk about. And to be honest, it’s something that a lot of guys don’t actually develop.
They don’t develop the habit of being in control of their sexual desires. Instead they manage to distract themselves every time they get horny, and are able to keep this up for a few months. But what happens when they’re done with long term retention? What happens when they get a girlfriend or get back in the dating game?
They let loose, and then women use their sexuality to gain power over them. The “self control” was never developed. Instead, they just did whatever they could to refrain from beating their meat. And then they fall back into patterns of weakness once they’re busting nuts and having sex.
Long term retention vs relaxed retention
Let’s back up a minute though. We’ll get back to how women will control you through pulling back on sex.
Let’s make sure we’re on the same page. Men have phases that we go through.
Put simply, there’s a time to retain and a time to be in the game.
What that means is there will be periods of your life when you’re retaining long term (no girlfriend, no casual dating, no sexual release), and then there’s relaxed retention (have a girlfriend or dating women, ejaculating and less often as possible).
This is why I do content on both semen retention and dating / relationships. These are phases that we go through. Semen retention is powerful phase we can implement in our life to get our shit together and make massive improvements. Improvements in our financial position, our physical condition, and even our spiritual disposition.
Long term retention for the rest of your life… Not realistic
However, 99% of us are not going to do semen retention long-term forever. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard guys say “90 days in, I’m never releasing again” and a few weeks later they’re saying “man I just relapsed because I met a girl and we had sex”. Then the dude disappears for 3 to 6 months, has sex with her, then she pulls back, stops having sex dumps him, and he’s back here. I’ve seen this over and over again.
Unless you’re pursuing a deep spiritual path and you’re dedicated to celibacy for life, you will release again at some point. And that’s okay. But you need to be honest with yourself.
Semen retention is a powerful practice. You can still do relaxed retention, which is where you’re having sex, but just trying to minimize ejaculations. So maybe you’ll bust a nut once a month, once every few weeks, etc.
However, if you’re one of these guys who says “I’m never gonna relapse”, you’re the same type of guy who doesn’t develop real self control. You’re the same type of guy who isn’t aware of himself. And when it comes time for you to get back in the dating game, you’ll do so with the same lack of awareness. This lack of awareness will cause you to release your seed every time you have sex. And it will cause you to become a slave to your orgasm once again.
Self control: Learn to Control your Lust
This is the time to develop self control. When you’re practicing semen retention, develop real self control. Your lust will never go away 100%. That’s fine, it doesn’t need to. You just need to be okay with it there.
If you can be okay with being turned on but not needing a release, or not even needing a distraction, you’ll no longer be a slave to your lust.
Then you’ll have real self control. A man who isn’t conquered by his sexual desires is a natural leader. Because a leader must be willing to make decisions not on how he feels, but on what he knows. And when you can learn to not give in to sexual desire, the strongest physical desire, then you can make decisions based on the information.
This is what will allow you to be rational in your relationships with women, with friends, at work, and most importantly with yourself.
We all have feelings and desires. But when you can rise above them, take the bird eye’s view, and still look at situations objectively, you’ll be a leader. It will start out in small ways, but eventually others will follow you as well. Because a man whose in control of himself is a man who moves differently. He has a self assurance that can’t be faked. And this is what others feel safe following you.
How women gain power of you
Remember above when we were talking about how women gain control over you? Now that there’s context around self control and how that ties to leadership, let’s get back to that.
The reason women gain power over you is because you’re a slave to your lust. Men become simps to their girlfriends or women they date when the girl uses sex as a weapon.
You can’t tell the girl “stop using sex to gain power over me”. While some girls do this consciously, most will do it just naturally.
The way to win here isn’t to get emotional. It’s to be able to be horny, to be turned on, but not have to always get off. This is what I mean when I talk about the self control developed on semen retention should carry over.
A man who has control over his sexual desires isn’t going to simp. He’s not going to let women use sex as a way to control him. Because he has self control, he’s able to maintain his manhood. Then he will maintain his natural position as the leader.
You don’t have to try that hard to be a leader with women. If you’re not controlled by your sexual desire, while still having a healthy sex drive, then you’ll naturally be the leader.
If you’re just not controlled by sex, then you will be the leader and you’ll have great relationships. You can still enjoy sex. But don’t intellectualize, don’t glorify it. Then you can act the way needed and not put the woman on a pedestal.
When she tries to pull back sex, which all women will do at some point, you can play it cool. You can pull back your attention. A man whose self aware, who has self control will be able to do that. But a man with no self awareness whose still a slave to his lust will start to act weak.
How to develop self control while retaining
You can learn to develop self control while practicing semen retention or not. But if you can master it while retaining, then it makes it dramatically easier when you get back into the game. In fact, it will give you the edge so you can still do relaxed retention and lead your relationships effectively.
Develop self control by:
- Be okay with being turned on without having to act
- Transmute the energy
1. Be okay with being turned on without having to act
The first point requires nothing special. You simply have to be okay with the feeling of “horniness” or “sexual desire”. The thing is that most guys aren’t okay with the feeling. They can’t handle the pressure. Which is why they feel the need to masturbate or have sex all the time.
But when you learn to accept the feeling, you develop self control over yourself. Self control doesn’t mean you never get turned on. It just means despite you getting turned on, you still take responsibility for your actions. When you do this while retaining, you can still see attractive women in real life, and even talk to them, without having to go beat off later.
In relationships, when your girl doesn’t want to have sex, or offers sex then pulls back, you don’t act weak. Instead you play it cool, go about your business. Then she’ll come back chasing you for sex and attention.
The other 2 points are about controlling your desires themselves. Meditating allows you to have more awareness of your mind. When thoughts of sex come up, due to yourself or outside stimuli, you’re able to let them go quickly. The reason most men have no self control is because once they get turned on, they hold onto the sexual thought. A man who meditates can let go of thoughts or feelings that don’t serve him.
3. Transmute the energy
Sexual transmutation is an incredible way to control and redirect your sexual energy. You can do it while retaining in order to leverage the law of attraction and make massive change in your life. However, even a man whose not retaining can still transmute the energy, it’s just that there’s not as much energy to transmute. Transmuting the energy and channeling it throughout the body can be done with practice of qigong and yoga.
Now is the Time to Develop Self Control
Don’t wait until some other point to develop self control. Do it now. Especially if you’re retaining. When you’re able to be okay with being horny and not having to act, your levels above most men. You’ll have self control that will not only allow you to maintain the leadership position with any woman you get with, but you’ll be able to lead yourself to the life you want.