She Never Texts First… what this means and how to get her to text you

She never texts first

She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything.  Well it does.  It means you like her more than she likes you.  It means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.

It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, or a girl you just started dating.  If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.

Lower interest

women low interest texting

When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you.  Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest.  After all, if it’s a girl you’re dating or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you.  It may even be at a decent level.

But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do.  You’re in the weaker position.  It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.

You care more than her.  And therefore she has more power than you.  Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction.  And if she’s a girl you’re just dating ,then you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.

But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!

I get this a lot from guys.  They tell me she never texts first but always replies.  The girl still acts excited when they text her.

So she likes when you text her.  So what.  I mean, that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you. It could be a lot worse.  But she never texts first so you’re still in the bad position.  She may be happy when you text her and respond well.  However you’re still constantly chasing her.  You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.

Women need constant validation and attention.  So when you give it to her, this particular girl is being smart by being enthusiastic.  If she ignored you or was short in her responses then she’d lose your attention and another source of validation for her.

But if your girlfriend never texts first, then that’s a bad very sign.

What to do

habits for success - analyzing yourself

It doesn’t matter what your goal is.  Whether it’s to date her, marry he,  or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you.  Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up.  You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.

Because right now you’re being needy.  Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.

And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.

You can text her first sometimes.  But if she’s never texting you first, then you need to stop.

Stop texting her first

stop texting her first

You need to stop texting her first.  She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to.  And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time.

It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation.  Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in.  Instead you need to get her to chase you.  Which means stop texting her first.

If you’re sending her a

  • good morning
  • good night
  • how are you doing
  • how’s your day
  • hey there

Or whatever type of texts, cut it off.  She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you.  Instead, get on your purpose.  Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass.  If she was texting you first sometimes then yes you can also hit her up.  But if she’s never taking initiative, then you need to back off.

  • If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
  • If it’s just some girl you’re dating it might take her a week or a few weeks.

But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first if she has any real interest.

What if she never texts me first?

That just might happen.  If the girl never texts you first ever, then she doesn’t have any interest in you.  A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually.  A girl you’re seeing dating should give you a text soon as well.  It might take her longer, but if you’re having a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.

The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t really dated yet.   You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now.  She might have some interest but it’s not enough to take you seriously.

Stop responding right away

man looking at phone

Another thing is to stop responding right away.  When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time.  Make her wait sometimes.

I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back.  Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business.  Then you won’t have time to text her back right away.  Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.

But switch things up.

The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes.  If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.

Woman want a man who has higher value than herself.  A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away.  He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.

Sign of a bigger issue

If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue.  And that issue is that you care more than her.  You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first.  You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.

That’s no way for a man to live.

You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is.  Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you started to date.  If you’re the beta then you need her.  And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her.  But if you’re the alpha then you’re leading in a calm, non desperate way.  Then you give her a chance to like you.

Right now you need to slow down.  You’re trying to force things by always texting her first.  Step back.

Stop texting her first.

Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her.  If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first.  When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone. Take your time.  Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.

Let her text you

woman happy texting man

If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless.  But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you.  Which is an amazing feeling.  You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.

Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and the roles can reverse.  If she never texts first then give her the chance to.

Be your own man

Build up a life of your own.  Do fun things, and live life.  If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first.  Make yourself a more valuable man.

Develop an abundance mindset.  You get this mindset by actually becoming a man with real abundance.  Meaning you have things to do more important than a woman texting you.  Every man needs a purpose, something great to strive towards.

If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you.  For girls you just met, don’t worry if this girl never texts you first.  Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about.  Find other girls to date.  Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options.  Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.

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Ahmed
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Ahmed

So okay i won’t talk to her, she’s in my snapchat should i let her see my stories
Or won’t let her see anything about me just disappear untill she text me first?

Jason
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Jason

Sooo, there’s this girl I like at uni.. It started by eye contact. When I look at her I sometimes find her looking at me too. few days later I add her on fb and she accepts. Next day I text her and talked abt uni and life.. was normal. I kept on always texting her 1st. sometimes she does text first. The most recent was 3 days ago after we were done with an exam.. She texted me right after we finished and asked me to come see her (at campus).. So I go and we talked face to… Read more »

random dude
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random dude

she just considers u as time passer…… to kill her time…… she knows that u had crush on her but she ignoress it and and wanna test you. even she test you and succeed but she will not love u as u imagined unless u r a top ranker in class, has some rich family. ….. dont fall in pits buddy. uniiversity love is love inm clouds….once sunlight breaks all the clouds breaks off and u will fall down on ground with broken bones……. never ever fall for girls witty mentality.

Bob
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Bob

Sorry for long msg, but if someone could read/possibly help out, that would be amazing. So, I’ve known her for about 2 years. She knows I liked her and wanted to talk to her, at least at the time. Ever since August, I’ve texted her a lot less in hopes that she’d text me first. Only once sometime in December (this was before I found this site) when she did msg me first, I was so excited, but kept my cool and responded to her about an hour later. Well, we texted here and there since, and I’ve noticed it’s… Read more »

Wesley
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Wesley

Ight so i think she doesn’t like me but people tell me to just keep trying and swallow my pride but please tell it to me straight. at one point this female would text me first not all the time but I would get a text every once in a while. After a while I stopped texting her and we hadn’t spoken in months but now every month or so I’ll text her we’ll have a good conversation especially recently she will reply back with a paragraph or send 3 or 4 messages back to one of my text and… Read more »

random dude2
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random dude2

shes just texting u whenever she felt no one around her is with her…shes just trying to kil time with u …. u r the last boiii she comes when she felts bored……dont fall in pits buddy….. end of the day girls reach for successful man…or high earner compared to her…….. never ever try to fall for the girl u mentioned…. shes reaching u only when shee has no one talking or chatinng….its ur time waste and endof the day u will get hurt emotinally and mentally….dont fall in trap boyy..

TDM
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TDM

This was a very contemporary subject for me. Rebel Jay’s article really covered in detail the exact situation and resulting issues and feelings that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve initiated 90% of the texts with a woman I’m currently interested in. Once in a while she throws me a bone and sends one out. And She always excitedly responds and does so soon after when I text her. She’s shy and kinda awkward around people. But the proof is in the pudding. She still rarely contacts me. That’s what it come downs too. And no matter how much I gloss… Read more »

TDM
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TDM

And I guess I should provide some more context. I worked with her for 5 months. And I’ve known her for close to a decade. But not known her beyond the usual informal greetings at family gatherings. Or at work. She’s also my brothers sister in law. Yeah. There’s a bunch of backstory there that would affect any possibility of striking up any type of romantic relationship with this woman. So I did accept, begrudgingly to check on her pets. I felt kinda obliged because I’m going to be seeing this woman on a semi regular basis no matter what… Read more »

James
Guest

So with this girl we live in different countries but she is coming easily with a bus ,we met through a friend,she liked me from pictures and she came in the town where the friend and I studied to party so we can meet get to know each other etc. She did that couple of times, so we end up having a relation where we were kissing having sex sleep together whenever she was coming to town .But when she was away from town we needed to text each other in the beginning I wasthe guy who was texting first… Read more »

Alex
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Alex

Ok so shes my girlfriend and ill stop texting her until she texts first but what do i say when she ask why i havent text her or if theres something wrong ?

Jay
Guest
Jay

SO i just started dating this girl a little over week ago. We met through family friends. How we got started was i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and we went on a date, then i didnt text her for a whole week after, that following saturday she texted me asking to meet up and hang out and we did and we hit it off and started dating. Well now back to the present she barely likes to text i always have to text her first and ifi dont shell go the… Read more »

Akash Chandel
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Akash Chandel

I have met a russian girl on tanden, now she has given me her vk and we chat on vk(russian app) but the problem is that i always message her first , we had video calls for continuously 4 days and we are still chatting, i think i should keep messaging her for atleast 2 weeks and then stop it so that she become more familiar with me , i love her but we have just met and i do not know her feelings. I seriously live her. what should i do next ,keep in messaging her for next 2… Read more »

Mike
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Mike

Hey man, there is this girl that I’m really into but I don’t have the courage to talk to her so what I do is I just text her. I’m always text her and she always replies back but I suddenly realized that if she is into me she should atleast sometimes initiate the conversation first. What should I do? I’m so confused

Daisy
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Daisy

Wtf don’t wait to text her back. I stopped texting my bf first cause i got sick of having to wait for a reply

Billy
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Billy

Okay I met this girl through a friend, she doesn’t live in the same state as me. So while she was here for a few weeks we would hangout, go somewhere, kiss, have sex. She would message me to come hangout or I would message her to hangout and we would go and she seemed excited to be with me she stayed at my place a couple times while see was her. I like her and she said she liked me. well ever since she went back home, I’ve been the only one to start the conversation she never started… Read more »

Matthew
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Matthew

So i met this cute girl with anxiety on dating site, blank profile, got texting and to know each other a bit, then talked over text, ended up sexting, met up for a cute date, hit it off big time, went back to mine for fun. Felt like kindred spirits. Since then I arranged to meet her this weekend to hangout and play games, she was hesitant and took a day to respond, texted on and off that week. Generally I was always the one to initiate texting, but she would reply with a lot of text and seem excited.… Read more »

Dan
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Dan

Hello Rebel, so I met this chick 6 months ago and from the onset, I told her I wanted to date her and she said she didn’t want anything serious. So I kept pushing, hoping I could change her mind until she told me she was in a long distance relationship, so I kinda slowed down but she already knew I had developed feelings for her, I took her on dates and they went quite well, invited her back to my place and I froze, I couldn’t make a move on her and she didn’t sleep over. All these while,… Read more »

Vimal kumar
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Vimal kumar

Hi man ok I think u should help me So she joined our tution and so I talked to her in insta and we get to know each other and I was the one who starts first but she used to speak with me more enthusiast and as usual I start the conversation and so I sent her a message and nxt day mrng see replied “GM” and I saw that msg and didn’t reply instead I had my sad story posts in my insta story and she even saw my 3 sad post(sad quotes) in my story but she… Read more »

Nick Siragusa
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Nick Siragusa

So we’ve been talking for about 2 months now and all of a sudden she stopped responding to me and it became to a point where she took a whole day to text back when she would usually text me all day. Now I have been showing the signs that you listed and wasn’t letting her text me first or show care in the relationship but for the past 3 days I have no answered her last text and only sent a few snaps back and forth but I also want this relationship to last. Also she did mention she’s… Read more »

John
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John

Hi
There is a girl I met a few months ago. I always text her first. The last time we had a text conversation was around a month ago. What’s right to do now?
Thanks.

Cody
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Cody

Hi Jay, I met this girl 8 weeks ago at a local coffee shop I always go in the morning, she was a bit shy and just started her business, I found that we have similar interests, so we exchanged IG to continue. We have hung out 3 times over the course of 4 weeks, we hold hands, made out and got really physical on the 3rd date, but no sex yet. I was hoping to meet her for the fourth time 3 weeks ago, however, since our schedules did not work, then she went home for Thanksgiving, last time… Read more »

James
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James

Hey Jay, so there’s this girl I’ve been talking to on a dating app. We really have a lot in common and we’ve been texting for the past 4 days with both jokes and deep convos. However, I always have to be the one to initiate or jokingly prompt her that its her turn to choose the next topic/question. She is really engaging though, ask really deep questions, answers with lengthy detailed responses and opens up a lot about herself. I personally felt that I knew her pretty well at this point so I brought up meeting in person for… Read more »

Uko
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Uko

Thanks for the article! It really helped. But the thing is that I have been dating this girl for about two weeks now. Always we only get to text each other properly around 9pm-01am otherwise, When I try to text her at midday (we primarily use WhatsApp) she leaves and and replies when I leave. What’s wrong? Please give me the cold hard truth.

Jon
Guest
Jon

Watch the reddit nice guys videos on YouTube. This should be a lesson on why over texting a girl is a bad idea. Those guys get angry and frustrated if a girl does not respond quickly or ever.Those videos have helped me to text girls less and talk to them in person. Girls are less likely to hide and pull avoidance tactics in person. I am getting too old to waiting for a girl to communicate first since girls still play the “women are passive, men make must the first move” card. I got a busy life to do than… Read more »

Abdul
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Abdul

It’s been a week I haven’t texted her first.. but iam pretty much sure that she will wish me on my birthday as she views my stories..
In this case should I reply her or ignore?

Andy
Guest
Andy

Hey rebel. I’ve been talking to this girl over text for a couple days and I thought all was going well, I initiated the conversation twice and she initiated it once. (We’ve never met in person, I added her on facebook). Towards the end of out last conversation her texts where starting to become dry so I told her “I’ll let You go you probably gotta wake up early for work tommorow”. Now it’s been just over a week since we last texted because I wanted to see if she would text me first, and she didn’t. I’m still friends… Read more »

Phillip Taylor
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Phillip Taylor

So there’s girl I like and I’m pretty sure she likes me to. We met at this job interview thing about a month ago and I haven’t met with her since. We got along really well each other and I felt we had something going on. We haven’t gone on any dates or anything yet because she’s always busy. What should I do?

Abdul
Guest
Abdul

Hello Rebel! I would like to thank you for giving such amazing tips and help.. yes I went no contact for more than 2 weeks .. after that I replied to her stories I don’t know but I could feel that she is doing it purposely to get my attention so that I could text her.. so I did replied her and asap ask her to meet up . I told her this weekend we should meet no more excuses.. Saturday or Sunday evening place you decide. To this she replied ok done done. Now my doubt as she agreed… Read more »

Spring
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Spring

Hi, ummm….. what if I’m a girl and just trying to find out why my friends don’t text me first?? Can I still use your method on them?

Quy Nhon
Guest
Quy Nhon

Hi There Very good post and helps many I’m sure. My situation is a long distance relationship and when we meet ( I’m the guy ) we have had an extremely good time, physically and mentally, btw a tad older than your followers ( but still mixed up ) We text a lot about everything, but yes mostly me, I always start with the Good morning darling and other words ( cos of the time difference I wake up when her day is afternoon. She always texts back but noticeably lesser feelings…. me “ Good morning gorgeous x “ her… Read more »

youngpreacho
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youngpreacho

Hey J, so i’ve just recently started seeing this new girl. We went out on our first date two weeks ago. Good vibes, a little kino here and there, but nothing too sexual. We had our second date this Wednesday because she spent last week away for work. We made out in the restaurant all throughout the date; in some instances she even forgot what we were talking about before the kisses. That’s all that happened that night because we went our separate ways afterwards. We both had other plans with our friends. She was very receptive the entire second… Read more »

Ricky
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Ricky

Good stuff. Quick question, I met this girl out and about and got her number. I was very good about setting up 1st and 2nd date with very little conversation via text. Even when she got sick and went dark on me, I waited and eventually she followed up. Both dates went well and went back to her place for some tonsil hockey. The following day I went out of town for the holidays and international vacation on the frontend. Anyway, about a week later I reached out to set up the 3rd date to get it on the books… Read more »

MARTIN
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MARTIN

Hello rebel!
There a girl I like and she knows me IAM not a stranger for her. The Problem is she never meetup and give reasons doesn’t even say no.. but keeps on flaking.
Recently I tried once again asked her to Meetup she replied
ILL INFORM ONCE ILL LEAVE FROM HER IAM IN A MEETING.. it was Sunday..
So I asked meeting on Sunday ??
She said it’s unofficial
..after that I was expecting that she will inform me but she didn’t what should I do??

Noname
Guest
Noname

Hi there. I‘ve been dating this girl six weeks now, one week ago she came to my house and I talked to her about my feelings , that I see her in a serious way and what’s her thought on that. She replied the same, had a nice but the same fucking teasing night without letting me going for more and next day she asked if I was pissed that we didn’t do anything. I told her I was not pissed about that, but for the fact that she thinks that I want her only for that. She liked my… Read more »

Matthew Mortimer
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Matthew Mortimer

I speak to this one girl and we are friends but I don’t want to date any girl now but I want her in the future cause she is so sexy and gorgeous and nice to talk to but she parties a lot and she also never messages me first like I want her to think let me message him I Amat yo speak to him sort of thing but it won’t happen and I don’t know what to do
Please reply I would really appreciate it
Please send me a email of your reply

John
Guest
John

So I got this girl I am dating her I initiated contact 3 days in a row after that I haven’t it’s now 3 days I havnt texted her and she hasn’t either. We have a date in 2 weeks and I am thinking about not texting her first till then. What do you think ?

Akash
Guest
Akash

Hello rebel!
Well I think you are right the more you chase the more she will pull away.
I what to know what is considered as a girl flaking
Do girl flake if don’t suggest her place to Meetup?

Tony T
Guest
Tony T

Hi I reached out to this girl on facebook. Had a nice chat with her on facebook and decide to ask her out for a cup of coffee. The first day was great of course and i felt a strong connection with her. I say this because we made eye contact, the conversation had no awkward pauses, we made lots of jokes and we were sitting very close to each other as well. We hang out for 6 hours on that day. After that she did say that we should hangout again. Because the first hang out was great, the… Read more »

James
Guest
James

so i was texting this girl on instagram and we hit it off immediately so we went out and we fucked on the first link , after the second time we fucked about two days after she started making excuses about facetiming each other , which was kinda weird because she said i was the best she ever had but she got mad that i didnt bust inside of her and she stop texting first so i made two mistakes with continuing to ask her too facetime and i started texting first but after that i started being dry and… Read more »

Walt
Guest
Walt

She’s a lot younger than I am but we had a class together at our college. She would go a few days with out texting and is text her first then she’s hit me with the I just saw this etc…we did go to the movies and I did ask her if she wanted to hang agin and she said yea. It took her almost half a day to text me from the day before. Should I just never text her first then?

Rohit
Guest
Rohit

Hi rebel,
I did exactly as you explained in this blog I stopped texting her first..
It’s been almost 3 weeks now what I have noticed is thought she is not texting me first but she replies to my status with emojis
What should I do? Is she trying to get my attention?

Kyle
Guest
Kyle

I would personally like to talk to you through email

John
Guest
John

Hye, I spent a month with my unknown fellow and we met for the first time during training. We spent a good time, hanging out together all the time, sharing thoughts and I took good care of her. She told me she is interested in another boy back in her country so I realized the real story. She told me that I told to her friend that I am taking good care of her. We are back to work but in different cities not too far. I shared my thoughts for her, but she said she is not having the… Read more »

Ezo
Guest
Ezo

Yo so this one girl ain’t gonna go to much into detail but as we were Snapchatting she sent something private as my phone was dying I swipe up and directly presses the power save button exits my the power save button my iPhone screen just screen records then freezes then when I restarted my phone I try to explain to her the video never left the chat like I was dead ass ain’t even told nobody bro she texted fuck u I shout have trusted u but suprisely she ain’t block the kid she just then when I explained… Read more »

Joe
Guest
Joe

Great article! I think i know the answer but curious in your advice. I went to brunch with this girl then to dinner another time and back to my place. We fucked, then in morning again but i was groggy. I went to a quick work meeting and told her I’m coming back to finish what i started. We fucked again and pretty sure she came. She then went back home for two weeks for holidays and got back on a Saturday night. I asked if she wanted to chill and she said let’s play it by ear sunday bc… Read more »

sameer
Guest
sameer

ok so i have this thing with this girl she likes me and i like her but she never got in a relationship not even close unlike me, the thing is that whenever i get close to going out with any girl i start losing feelings which made her worried and she told me that so i told her that if we get to the date that i wouldnt do that cuz shes special and i told her how much i like her which i feel is stupid move cuz the next day we were talking abt us and she… Read more »

sameer
Guest
sameer

and shes not totally over the guy but shes getting over him and she said that shes gaining more feelings for me day by day

jonnyh27
Guest
jonnyh27

Hello if you help me i would be very grateful. There ‘s a girl I love. I was trying to be an alpha male. she constantly wanted to follow me on instagram. SHE would always texts me first Has stopped texting since January 9 It was hers birthday on January 16th. I CELEBRATED THE HER BIRTHDAY via DM. AND SHE REPLY ”THANK YOU” THEN I DON’T TEXT OTHER I’m sure SHE TEXTING WITH to other men And I never think of texting her again. Because she no longer texts me first and gives short text reply when I write her..… Read more »

jonnyh27
Guest
jonnyh27

Hello, rebel. There is one more thing , can you help me 🙂 I know helplessness, weakness. constantly texting a girl, always being suitable for her, always giving her time. turning girls off (I keep this in my mind) and i avoid this. Yeah maybe you’re right I shouldn’t fall in love with someone who isn’t even my girlfriend… I live my life and I’ve always shown it to my Instagram story and she saw it before, as you said. We’ve been talking for 7 months, I like her, I love her (she always texts me first) I believe she… Read more »

God of War
Guest
God of War

meh. If she doesn’t text first or reply, no sweat off my sack. As long as the money comes first, that’s all that matter.

Alex
Guest
Alex

Girl & I have had chemistry for the 4 years we’ve known each other. She was in a relationship however, all 4 of those years (with the same guy). She has been recently single (Since November) and beaten up over it understandably. We ended up going out to dinner a couple weeks ago (to which I thought was just as friends) and at the end she said “thanks for the date”. We had an awesome time, lots of laughs. So, I asked for a second one and she said yes. Now she is coming up on the end of her… Read more »

jonnyh27
Guest
jonnyh27

Hello rebel again.. You said ”You fucked it up with her” And She has a new boyfriend. she’s been texting to me for two days
Why would she still texts me I really don’t get it :/ What should I do? Should I ignore her texts? or She Trying to make me jealous. :/