She never texts first
She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything. Well it does. It means you like her more than she likes you. And it also means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.
It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, or a girl you just started dating. If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.
Is this a huge deal?
I get questions like “this girl never texts me first and I always initiate” all the time. I tell the guy it’s not the end of the world. Because some woman whose not as interested really isn’t. However, between you and her, it’s a symptom of the overall relationship.
Lower interest
When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest. After all, if it’s a girl you’re dating or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you. It may even be at an okay level.
But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do. You’re in the weaker position. It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.
You care more than her. And therefore she has more power than you. Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction. And if she’s a girl you’re just dating ,then you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.
But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!
I get this a lot from guys. They tell me she never texts first but always replies. The girl still acts excited when they text her.
- “my girl doesn’t text first but always replies”
- “female friend never texts me first but seems happy when I initiate”
- “I think she likes me but never texts first”
These are the types of statements I get from guys who want me to evaluate their situation.
Situations where she never initiates text but always responds quickly and therefore you’re hopeful.
Free attention
You know what that means? She likes when you text her. Because that’s free attention. Some guys will think that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you.
I’d rather have a woman completely reciprocate effort or not at all.
Because when she she never texts first so you’re in the position of false hope. The women who are for you will also text you first. Because they don’t just want your attention in the form of text. They are using text to actually want to meet up with you.
When the girl doesn’t text first but always replies, that just means she doesn’t like you but likes the attention.
She may be happy when you text her and therefore she’ll respond well.
However the problem remains the same. You’re still constantly chasing her. You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.
Women desire constant validation and attention. Don’t be mad, that’s how they are. That’s like a man getting free sex without doing anything else, of course most guys will take it.
Women like attention – and that’s fine if she reciprocates. But when a girl doesn’t text first but always replies she’s not reciprocating. You’re still always the one texting her first. She never texts first because you give away your attention so easily.
So when you attention to her and she doesn’t deserve it, don’t get caught up over an enthusiastic response. I don’t care how many emoji’s she’s using. I don’t care how “shy” she is. Women who actually like you will also text you first. If she never initiates text but always responds to you, that just means you’re chasing her.
Pursuing is when you initially approach her, text her, get the date, and so on. But pursuing means it’s reciprocal. Once you meet this woman, let alone start seeing her / dating her, there should be a mutual flow of energy.
What to do
It doesn’t matter what your goal is. Whether it’s to date her, marry he, or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you. Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up. You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.
Because right now you’re being needy. Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.
And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.
You can text her first sometimes. But if she’s never texting you first, then you need to stop.
Stop texting her first
You need to stop texting her first. She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to. And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time. When she never initiates txt but always responds this means you’re chasing her. You must stop this.
It’s not that you can never text a woman. Yrs you can initiate conversations.
It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation. Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in. Instead you need to get her to chase you. Or at least have a reciprocal interaction.
Which means stop texting her first.
If you’re sending her a:
- good morning
- good night
- how are you doing
- how’s your day
- hey there
Or whatever type of texts, cut it off. She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you. Instead, get on your purpose. Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass. If she was texting you first sometimes then yes you can also hit her up. But if she’s never taking initiative, then you need to back off.
- If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
- If it’s just some girl you’re dating it might take her a week or a few weeks.
But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first if she has any real interest.
What if she never texts me first?
That just might happen. If the girl never texts you first ever, then she doesn’t have any interest in you. A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually. A girl you’re seeing dating should give you a text soon as well. It might take her longer, but if you’re having a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.
The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t really dated yet. You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now. She might have some interest but it’s not enough to take you seriously.
She never texts you first because her interest isn’t high enough. By always texting her first, you kill any chance of her reaching to you.
Stop responding right away
Another thing is to stop responding right away. When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time. Make her wait sometimes.
I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back. Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business. Then you won’t have time to text her back right away. Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.
But switch things up.
The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes. If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.
Woman want a man who has higher value than herself. A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away. He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.
Sign of a bigger issue
If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue. And that issue is that you care more than her. You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first. You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.
That’s no way for a man to live.
You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is. Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you started to date. If you’re the beta then you need her. And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her. But if you’re the alpha then you’re leading in a calm, non desperate way. Then you give her a chance to like you.
Right now you need to slow down. You’re trying to force things by always texting her first. Step back.
Stop texting her first.
Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her. If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first. When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone. Take your time. Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.
Let her text you
If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless. But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you. Which is an amazing feeling. You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.
Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and the roles can reverse. If she never texts first then give her the chance to.
I Always Text her First, Should I Stop? Will She notice?
If you find yourself asking yourself “if I stop texting her first will she notice?” then it’s gotten to the point where you need to begin to back off.
You’re suffocating this woman with attention and have become unattractive to her. And more importantly, you’re losing self respect. Deep down you know you shouldn’t be giving her all of this energy when she doesn’t return the same effort.
If you stop texting her first… she might notice, and then come back around. If she had medium-high interest, she will text you first eventually. But she will never text you first if she had medium-low or simply low interest.
You can’t force the issue. You must stop giving your energy to women who don’t give the same energy back.
She never texts me first but she seems interested
If a girl never texts first but seems interested, and you have been texting her first multiple times, then you need to rethink her interest in you. If you just met her, sure you can initiate the first conversation or two. But if she never texts you first after and there’s been multiple conversations… you need to be honest with yourself. You’ve been constantly hitting her up. That’s not how a healthy relationship dynamic works. Women will text men first if she has sexual or romantic interest in him.
Be your own man
Build up a life of your own. Don’t worry about if she never texts first. You caring about why she never texts first is the reason she never can text you first.
Get out of your own head. Do fun things, and live life. If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first. Make yourself a more valuable man.
Develop an abundance mindset. You get this mindset by actually becoming a man with real abundance. Meaning you have things to do more important than a woman texting you. Every man needs a purpose, something great to strive towards.
If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you. For girls you just met, don’t worry if this girl never texts you first. Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about. Find other girls to date. Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options. Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.
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So okay i won’t talk to her, she’s in my snapchat should i let her see my stories
Or won’t let her see anything about me just disappear untill she text me first?
Yea let her see her stories. This will get her thinking about the fun life you’re living. Don’t view her stories or look at any of her things. Just let her look at your stuff. If you lead a fun life, post and get off, and don’t think about her, she’ll most likely hit you up sooner or later.
Man i swear liked your short answer you are the best.
Thank you for reaching my email too.
Of course my man, happy to help.
but I want
Sooo, there’s this girl I like at uni.. It started by eye contact. When I look at her I sometimes find her looking at me too. few days later I add her on fb and she accepts. Next day I text her and talked abt uni and life.. was normal. I kept on always texting her 1st. sometimes she does text first. The most recent was 3 days ago after we were done with an exam.. She texted me right after we finished and asked me to come see her (at campus).. So I go and we talked face to… Read more »
Hey man, thanks for the question. I think you’re overthinking it. She wanted to hang out with you and then her friend too. So you didn’t have to leave, maybe she wanted to her friend to hang out because you were cool and she wanted to see what her friend thought. But either way it’s all good. You had to leave cause you have stuff to do so that’s cool too. Yea, I would limit texting. It seems like she has some interest in you. So flirt with her after the exam. Set a date with her. Say something like… Read more »
she just considers u as time passer…… to kill her time…… she knows that u had crush on her but she ignoress it and and wanna test you. even she test you and succeed but she will not love u as u imagined unless u r a top ranker in class, has some rich family. ….. dont fall in pits buddy. uniiversity love is love inm clouds….once sunlight breaks all the clouds breaks off and u will fall down on ground with broken bones……. never ever fall for girls witty mentality.
Sorry for long msg, but if someone could read/possibly help out, that would be amazing. So, I’ve known her for about 2 years. She knows I liked her and wanted to talk to her, at least at the time. Ever since August, I’ve texted her a lot less in hopes that she’d text me first. Only once sometime in December (this was before I found this site) when she did msg me first, I was so excited, but kept my cool and responded to her about an hour later. Well, we texted here and there since, and I’ve noticed it’s… Read more »
Thanks for the comment Bob. You wrote a lot, and basically it comes down to you were too desperate for this chick. This isn’t even a chick you’ve slept with and you’re already obsessed with her. Being too nervous around a girl in fear of fucking up is going to kill your game. You have the knowledge to know the signs a girl likes you which is great. But you just need to approach and stop overthinking things. You need to learn how to flirt with girls and not take it so seriously. The best thing for you to do… Read more »
I think he’s 18 or 17
What am about to ask is a little awkward but I am actually an awkward person first am 24 years old and I haven’t had a girlfriend for as long as I’ve been alive, that is something I don’t understand. My question is do women reject a guy based on his physical appearance? Do they prejudge a guy the very minute he approaches them and reject him outright? Because see from the time I was 19 to this point I have reached out to a total of 16 girls and not a single one of them ever said yes to… Read more »
I made a video for you my man. https://youtu.be/0hN5ubuwS3E
Ight so i think she doesn’t like me but people tell me to just keep trying and swallow my pride but please tell it to me straight. at one point this female would text me first not all the time but I would get a text every once in a while. After a while I stopped texting her and we hadn’t spoken in months but now every month or so I’ll text her we’ll have a good conversation especially recently she will reply back with a paragraph or send 3 or 4 messages back to one of my text and… Read more »
Hey Wesley, I don’t know everything about your situation. But it seems like you’re just a friendly texting buddy. Girls like to have other people to talk to. Maybe she thought you were cute or had some interest but since she’s not hitting you up first it fell apart or it’s just not that high. Since you see her in person, it’s better off to avoid texting and try flirting with her in person. That’s where you can actually see if she flirts with you back. You made your mistake by just texting her before without every trying to meet… Read more »
Thanks for the reply that never even crossed my mine and i see what you mean so fall back on the messages try something in person if not take my business elsewhere?
Exactly man. You can try in person to flirt or set something up but otherwise just pursue other girls.
shes just texting u whenever she felt no one around her is with her…shes just trying to kil time with u …. u r the last boiii she comes when she felts bored……dont fall in pits buddy….. end of the day girls reach for successful man…or high earner compared to her…….. never ever try to fall for the girl u mentioned…. shes reaching u only when shee has no one talking or chatinng….its ur time waste and endof the day u will get hurt emotinally and mentally….dont fall in trap boyy..
This was a very contemporary subject for me. Rebel Jay’s article really covered in detail the exact situation and resulting issues and feelings that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve initiated 90% of the texts with a woman I’m currently interested in. Once in a while she throws me a bone and sends one out. And She always excitedly responds and does so soon after when I text her. She’s shy and kinda awkward around people. But the proof is in the pudding. She still rarely contacts me. That’s what it come downs too. And no matter how much I gloss… Read more »
And I guess I should provide some more context. I worked with her for 5 months. And I’ve known her for close to a decade. But not known her beyond the usual informal greetings at family gatherings. Or at work. She’s also my brothers sister in law. Yeah. There’s a bunch of backstory there that would affect any possibility of striking up any type of romantic relationship with this woman. So I did accept, begrudgingly to check on her pets. I felt kinda obliged because I’m going to be seeing this woman on a semi regular basis no matter what… Read more »
Thanks for sharing your story man. There’s a lot going on here, but I definitely wouldn’t pursue anything with her. Since she’s your brother’s sister in law, you’re always going to be seeing her at family events. Best to keep things polite and not try and makes moves on her. Don’t text her first, or really much at all besides a family emergency or something wild. Even if she does pursue you, if you two fuck or date and things go bad you’re going to have a rough family situation.
Thanks for the advice man. Much appreciated. I guess in the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t an ideal situation. I just kept ignoring it. And having buddies constantly tell me what I wanted to hear, like “keep pursuing her.” And “Try to get her in the sack” only made things worse. It’s good to hear some common sense advice; it’s helps with the decision to wash my hands of the whole situation. Thanks again.
Your friends want to push you to make moves, but in your situation I wouldn’t do that. If this was some girl at a bar or club that was checking you out then definitely.
Glad I could help brother.
So with this girl we live in different countries but she is coming easily with a bus ,we met through a friend,she liked me from pictures and she came in the town where the friend and I studied to party so we can meet get to know each other etc. She did that couple of times, so we end up having a relation where we were kissing having sex sleep together whenever she was coming to town .But when she was away from town we needed to text each other in the beginning I wasthe guy who was texting first… Read more »
You slept with her and have still kept her interest, so nice job so far man. And you were able to stop the conversation for once, so you have shown restraint. And it looks like she’s started to text first a few times too. Since you didn’t respond to the last one, which isn’t a bad thing, it might take another few days or even few weeks before you hear from her. Give it more time brother. You’re saying she’s old fashioned and stuff but you already slept with her and have her as a casual sex partner, so I’d… Read more »
The issue is that I really enjoy her personality and time with her , so I want to speak with her almost everyday ,but I know I shouldn’t get deep emotions,what to do in that issue? ,what if without speaking someone alse will get her attention.
The truth is that someone else will probably get her attention down the road. You two had a fun casual thing, she wanted you for some fun dick. You were the fun alpha my man. She has a good memory of you. Maybe when she’s back in town you two can have some fun, or possibly date. If you start hitting her up too much when she’s not in town she’s going to lose respect for you. Then you’ll ruin your chances of hooking up or dating her when she comes back in town. Accept that she will date/fuck other… Read more »
Ok so shes my girlfriend and ill stop texting her until she texts first but what do i say when she ask why i havent text her or if theres something wrong ?
For girlfriends you can text first sometimes but still less than her. So yea, don’t text her first for now. If she calls you out for it play it off like you’ve been busy working on your business, studies, or whatever. It’s a good sign when your girlfriend asks you why you haven’t texted her first. That means she’s realizing that you’re not giving her all your attention and could be focused on other things, which raises her interest in you.
SO i just started dating this girl a little over week ago. We met through family friends. How we got started was i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and we went on a date, then i didnt text her for a whole week after, that following saturday she texted me asking to meet up and hang out and we did and we hit it off and started dating. Well now back to the present she barely likes to text i always have to text her first and ifi dont shell go the… Read more »
Thanks for your comment. You started off well by letting her text you first. But then you messed up by texting her first every time after that. You just have started dating her a week ago. So you should be fine without texting her everyday. And you actually shouldn’t text her everyday my man. Stop hitting her up, because right now you’re making yourself look always available. Don’t text her first until she hits you up, then make plans with her when she texts you. You may need to drive the initiative to hang out until you sleep with her,… Read more »
Hey Jay thanks for replying. You said above i need to drive the initiative to hang out until i sleep with her, thing is we’ve already had sex a few times since we started dating. In person shes great she shows affection and is talkative and all that. But even after all that im still the one that has to make plans to see each other and text her first,that hasn’t changed. Should i just step back and not make any more plans with her or text her until hopefully shes takes the initiative to hang out together?
Sure thing my man. Yes, now that you’ve already slept with her you can take your gas off the pedal a little bit. This doesn’t mean you stop hitting her up all together right away. But let her text you first the next time at least. And slowly start to back off. Yea exactly. Let her text you to hang out, or at least start the conversation. You can still push for hanging out if she doesn’t in the first text, but let her hit you up first. Once you get her more addicted to you, she’ll start to push… Read more »
Ill try that thanks so much for your help.
Sure thing brother. You got this in the bag.
Hey man so your advice did work, i stopped texting her and though it took her the entire day to send me a message she did message me first after she got off work asking me how i was and all that. Another thing that is bothering me is that she isnt very affectionate with me. She doesnt really express her feelings, like sometimes she calls me by my name and she doesnt really hug or kiss me much i have to initiate physical contact most of the time. Should i be worried about this? Or should i give it… Read more »
Awesome job brother! Glad you had the discipline. You gave her a chance to actually miss you and hit you up first. Right now you want her to express her feelings and be more affectionate. But you literally just started dating her. She should want you to be more affectionate and express your feelings, not the other way around. Even though you’ve started doing the right actions, you still have some feminine energy. It’s fine if you initiate physical contact for sex. You can give her hugs if you want, no need to initiate kisses in public right now because… Read more »
Yeah you are right, its just that so far i guess ive been lucky and every girlfriend ive had has always been super affectionate towards me from the start, you know texting me all day, very touchy feely, pet names all that. And since this girl is quite the opposite of that im not used to it and im just not sure exactly how to act so that hopefully as the relationship matures shell start showing more attention and interest towards me and reach out more.
She will over time as she becomes more attached to you. Naturally some girls are more affectionate than others. But you also just started dating her, and you were always texting her first as until recently. So as the power shifts more you’ll get more validation seeking behaviors from her. But yea, I wouldn’t read too much into it. Could be a variety reasons, but whether it’s her natural personality or she’s just trying to make you chase, she’ll start acting more feminine once she sees your maintain your masculinity. She may not be your ideal type, but that’s up… Read more »
Once i stopped texting her first like you recommended she did start texting me first, but she only does so later at night not during the day, even though shes on her phone texting her friends all day long. Is that something i should worry about? I dont want to tell her to text me during the day too cause i don’t want to seem clingy.
No man don’t worry about it. Girls will text their friends back and forth all day long. She doesn’t view you as a texting buddy, you’re the guy she’s dating / fucking / has a crush on / whatever. So she also doesn’t want to over text you. Yea, do not tell her to text you more. That’s a super weak question to ask. Instead, keep doing what you’re doing. Let her text you late at night. Meet up with her, have good sex, conversation, and have high quality time. Then let her miss you when you’re not together. Take… Read more »
Another thing is we been sleeping and waking up together every single day since we started dating shes cool with it and even insisted on it cause she said in her previous relationships she was used to seeing and sleeping with her ex’s every day.Im assuming long term this can be a bad thing since it will lead to the relationship becoming dull and boring. Should i put a stop to this and if so whats the best way of going about it? Also when we are together we have great sex and all but the rest of the time… Read more »
Sleeping together every single night can get comfortable true, a little early on if you just started dating. But since you’re spending most of the day time apart, then this is fine. Married man or guys with live-n girlfriends negate this by being busy during the day. And it makes sense why she doesn’t want to text you all the time. She already sees you in the evening. You’re like the new guy she’s dating she can use for some good dick and as a cuddle buddy. You’re actually in a decent position right now. It seems like you’re the… Read more »
So in an unexpected turn of events she opened up about what she feels and what she wants from me in the relationship and the best thing is she brought it up all on her own in casual conversation, i didn’t have to push for it. So she told me that she isn’t into the lovey dovey stuff and doesn’t really like romantic guys, she said her personality is naturally kinda cold and distant and that even in her long time relationships that lasted years she was like that, that it didn’t mean that she didn’t fall in love she… Read more »
You let her pursue the relationship, which is what she wants. And yea, she’s not outwardly super affectionate but she wants a real man. You’ve turned things around and are in a good position. Nice job brother.
Thanks for all your advice. Hopefully things get better from now on.
Best of luck brother. If you start to get weak, jealous, or needy, she’ll lose interest. As long as you stay focused on being the man you need to be, things will go your way.
So back again, its been over a month now since we started dating. And there’s more issues. Some days everything is great shes super affectionate and all over me, but others she just acts like she barely even care’s about the relationship. I cant really be myself or be completely comfortable around her and its exhausting having to act a certain way when im with her everyday. Also when we have sex lately it just seems like she pretty much just does it i guess to please me, not because she really wants to have sex; We go like 3… Read more »
Hi Jay. It seems like this is just an extension from how the relationship was before you started dating. You started off strong but since have become a little bit weaker. She’s showing some affection for you and then not, but you’re making too big of a deal of this. You’ve only been dating her for a 1 month. If you weren’t needy for her attention, you’d get more of her feminine side. Less sex after a relationship started is normal, but you two should still be in the honeymoon phase. And right now you’re still worried about if you’re… Read more »
Yeah you are right im too busy worrying about making her happy so the relationship works out. But in the end people are gonna do what they are gonna do no matter what, so im just gonna focus on myself more and bring some balance to the relationship.
Exactly brother. You’re on the right path now.
Hey i need your advice once again. So ive been doing what you told me and shes pretty affectionate with me and things are going well except for one thing that’s been bothering me for a while;This started about a month and a half ago when i took the only picture we have together for the entire 3 months we been dating and that’s only because i insisted on it and took it with my phone, at the time it seemed weird that she didn’t want a picture of us together and she just said she doesn’t really like taking… Read more »
Nice job on following the advice and getting the results! Most guys are too stubborn and it takes a few tries, it’s awesome you manned up and now she’s affectionate. However the same underlying issue with you is occurring. It’s cause you care about that. You can like your girlfriend, but she needs to be the one who wants to take pictures with you. If she took pics with other guys and not you who gives a fuck. You shouldn’t even have time to think about that. The time you do think about her is when you’re with her and… Read more »
Thanks for your reply i really appreciate it im not gonna bring it up or anything. If she turns around on this then great if not then ill just have to live with it. Another thing is my gf and her single friend sometimes go out together usually to see a movie or to eat or shopping i dont say anything about it cause thats just normal girl stuff and she has the right to hang out with her friends, but now her friend wants her to go clubbing with her just the two of them alone. Is not that… Read more »
Is it a good situation for her to be in the club alone drunk with her single friend? No. But as long as you two have established that you don’t grind on other people (aka dancing at normal nightclubs) then it’s fine. Telling her you don’t like her going out alone with her friend will only turn her off and push her towards cheating on you. And if you haven’t established no grinding, then it’s gonna look weak if you bring that up now. Even though it’s not what you like, you need to act cool. Best thing you can… Read more »
Every other time shes told me shes going out with her friends to a movie or out to dinner or any other place my instant reply is have fun. But we havent established anything about her going out clubbing with her single friends because since we started dating 3 months ago she hasnt gone clubbing with them, this is the first time, but even if we did, ive seen them get drunk before and their judgment goes out the window. If she didnt drink then i wouldnt have an issue with this at all. But they love to drink and… Read more »
Most girls get like that when they drink. Whether she’s drunk or not, guys are going to hit on her. Guys will grab her ass, try to dance with her, buy her drinks, etc. It’s up to her whether she does anything or not. If you act needy or tell her not to go, not only will she go, she probably will flirt, grind on, and engage with other men. You need to be strong man. Right now you’re doubting your own value. You think she might act like a hoe cause of her friend. Maybe you’re right, maybe not.… Read more »
Yeah you are right man this would be the perfect chance to find out if shes faithful or not, Since this is the first time shes going clubbing with her friends alone since we started dating i guess ill just talk to her and let her know that its cool if she goes clubbing, just be mindful that shes not single and act accordingly. If nothing happens then good i know can trust her and the relationship is good. And if she does end up doing something bad and i find out then i guess shell be doing me a… Read more »
For sure man, except don’t say “let her know that its cool if she goes clubbing, just be mindful that shes not single and act accordingly.” That should’ve been established when you set the terms of relationship. Saying that now will make you look weak. Just say “yea have fun” and go out as well. But yea man, you have a good mindset. You just need to flip it over time so it’s like your past relationships. You want her to worry about you, not how it is right now with you worrying about her. But keep it up, stay… Read more »
Hey man back again. So my gf started College again last week and ive noticed that she’s been getting messages on her social media that she wasn’t getting before, im not sure if they are from guys or not, but a guy that’s on her Instagram friends list did send her a text message with just his name im assuming so she could save his number. Im not sure if she is replying to them or not because i can only see the notifications on her phone. When im in a relationship i respect the person im with and i… Read more »
So she started college but is seems like she’s still in your city because you see her phone? First thing is you shouldn’t be seeing her phone notifications. I don’t know if you’re looking at her phone when she’s not around or if she’s letting you see it. If you’re doing it when she’s not around, that’s some beta shit. But you found out valuable info. If you can see that when she’s there and she can see you see it, she’s shit testing you to see how you react. Either way, you’re in a bad position. You still care… Read more »
Yeah man i feel you, weird thing is though that like her attitude towards me in person is great though like shes still affectionate and everything. Usually if a girl is into someone else they start to pull away and become cold and distant, but that hasn’t really been the case. And i still sleep over her house every night. That’s why im kinda confused. And i mean shes not hiding her phone or anything she leaves in front of me that’s how i saw the notifications. And that text message i mentioned before that was 2 days ago well… Read more »
Yea but are you fucking her right? Doesn’t seem like it because you’re still this worried. You’ve only been dating her a few months so chances are high she flirts with other men when you’re not around even if it’s not on social media. Two things you need to stop doing. 1 – You shouldn’t look at her notifications. 2 – You also shouldn’t look at whose she’s texting when she’s right next to you. She can sense that you’re looking at her texts and that is showing her you are worried / care too much. You’re only going to… Read more »
I do feel like maybe im too available and thats made her too comfortable with me and that could cause her to get bored. On the other hand if i dont text her all day and it starts getting late into the night she will text me asking me to come over. If i become less available it could have a positive effect of her missing me and chase me more. But it could also backfire and it can make her think that i just dont care about her and it could push her away from me and towards someone… Read more »
If you don’t text her all day and she texts you to come over then that’s good bro. You can go over, spend time, have sex, and so on. You should make her come over to your place some of the time too. But in general, yea you need to take risks if you want to be the leader. If you’re not willing to then you’ll lose her down the road anyways. You don’t need to blow her off for hanging out or pull back hard. Just a little bit. Be hot and cold. Have a night in where you… Read more »
Hey man back again in need of your advice. So its been 5 months now since we started dating. Things are pretty good shes very affectionate and things are mostly doing great except for one thing at the beginning we would have sex almost every day but now its only a couple of times a week at most sometimes only once a week. This has been bothering me and i talked to her about it last night and she told me its because shes tired at night, but to me that doesn’t make sense because how come at the beginning… Read more »
First off, it’s fine if she’s doing it to please you. Women get horny and like to fuck, but they use sex in order to please the men they like. If you were a celebrity and she only had one night ton fuck you, she’d do it to please you in the hopes you fuck with her again. Calling her on it right now didn’t work as you tried. It would’ve been better for you to withdraw your attention, and have her use sex to get your attention back. Less sex is natural is a relationship, but of course you… Read more »
Hey man so yeah last night we did have great make up sex. I didnt read your message beforehand so i was a bit apologetic and i told her i just wasn’t in the mood but that i do enjoy the sex with her. Also i did tell her that this sex once a week thing just wasn’t gonna cut it cause as a guy i like doing it more often. Idk if saying that to her was a mistake, its just that i dont like playing mind games and have the other person confused trying to figure out whats… Read more »
Saying it directly can work – but you need to be willing to cut it off it if you can’t get more. That way she’ll know you’re serious and will respect you. Right now you can work on being in the best shape possible, and taking it slower when trying to get her in the mood. But the biggest thing will be to run a little bit of dread game, not always being so available. Fuck when she’s down, but stop being around so much. You can’t always be home and always trying to fuck. Be busy working on your… Read more »
We had sex last night too which is good i guess what i said to her might have worked. Right now i sleep over at her place every night and if for some reason its late and i don’t come over she’ll text me asking when ill come over. Like i mentioned before she is very pretty so she has alot of guys after her, my only concern is if i become less available and run dread,instead of making her want to be with me more shell seek attention from another guy instead.
That’s the whole point, it takes balls to run dread. You don’t need to do anything crazy. The fact that she texts you when it’s late and you haven’t come over is a light example of dread. So you’re already doing it. It worked for now so nice job. Continue to be the man, keep working on your career/money, staying in the gym, and fucking her well. I wouldn’t try to fuck every single day because that will dry up eventually. But if you can have sex 3-4 times a week that’s a healthy amount for a relationship that’s not… Read more »
Im gonna try that to see what happens. Also the texting situation hasnt changed she still doesnt text me during the day it might be because she knows she will see me at night. She doesnt really text anyone else except her best friend and even then she ignores her friend for hours sometimes. Idk what to make of that, cause i know for a fact in previous relationships she used to text alot. Should i just ignore it and accept the fact that with me is different?
If you guys see each other at night then you’re chillen. At the end of the day, text is important but only to help you get results in real life. If you’re sleeping together and enjoying each other’s company, then who cares if you don’t text all the time. Would you rather be a texting buddy and have her think of you as a friend while she fucks someone else? For all you know, her past relationships could have been with more needy men and more friendly. Either way who cares. Seems to me you’re in a good position. Less… Read more »
Hey man so last night my gf, her best friend and i went out to a club and my gf’s ex that has been trying to get back with her was there with a group of his friends. After a couple of hours one of his friends that used to date my girl’s best friend came up to my gf’s friend and started talking to her and got her number and all that and told her they should all hang out. I overheard when the guy was telling her that and my gf said not to worry about it that… Read more »
Seems like he’s desperate to get at her. If she’s ignoring him, then she’s respecting you which is good. Stay masculine and alpha. If she hangs out with an ex, then you can dump her. But that hasn’t happened yet. However, it just seems like he’s being desperate and weak. It’s fine if she goes out alone, but not if she doesn’t tell you what she does. If you want any more advice on this, schedule a coaching call.
I have met a russian girl on tanden, now she has given me her vk and we chat on vk(russian app) but the problem is that i always message her first , we had video calls for continuously 4 days and we are still chatting, i think i should keep messaging her for atleast 2 weeks and then stop it so that she become more familiar with me , i love her but we have just met and i do not know her feelings. I seriously live her. what should i do next ,keep in messaging her for next 2… Read more »
Hey Akash, it looks like you already have oneitis for this girl. From what you said it doesn’t even sound like you’ve met her in real life yet. You don’t love her man, you’re just super obsessed and infatuated. You need to talk to more girls or work on your masculine energy in general. Right now you’re way too needy and you’re going to be weak, which will drive her away. If you want to make plans to meet up then you can do that for drinks / coffee / or what you prefer. Making plans in real life is… Read more »
Hey man, there is this girl that I’m really into but I don’t have the courage to talk to her so what I do is I just text her. I’m always text her and she always replies back but I suddenly realized that if she is into me she should atleast sometimes initiate the conversation first. What should I do? I’m so confused
Hey Mike, the best thing for you to do is get the courage to talk to her. If you’re texting and she texts back, you should at least try to hang out. If you see her in person then make a move to talk with her. Keep it low key, cool, and flirt. See where it goes. You’re not getting anywhere right now so if things don’t work out you have nothing to lose. Upside is she’s interested and wants to hang out too. But for now just try flirting with her in person.
Wtf don’t wait to text her back. I stopped texting my bf first cause i got sick of having to wait for a reply
He was doing the right thing. You were chasing him which was good. Boyfriends still should reply, but should vary in response time. Best way to do this is to not actively avoid texting a girlfriend back, but just actually being busy with life that it takes a while to respond. Your boyfriend probably actually has a busy life and can’t be responding right away to everything.
Okay I met this girl through a friend, she doesn’t live in the same state as me. So while she was here for a few weeks we would hangout, go somewhere, kiss, have sex. She would message me to come hangout or I would message her to hangout and we would go and she seemed excited to be with me she stayed at my place a couple times while see was her. I like her and she said she liked me. well ever since she went back home, I’ve been the only one to start the conversation she never started… Read more »
It sounds like you had a fun fling. She was in town, you two hooked up and enjoyed each other’s company. But she left now, so she probably just wanted to enjoy you in the moment and move on with her life. You were the fun alpha fuck in this situation. However right now you’re trying to talk to her even though logistically it’s not going to work out due to distance. Yes you should stop texting her. If she starts to think you don’t like her as much or you’re losing interest then that’s good. If anything, that might… Read more »
So i met this cute girl with anxiety on dating site, blank profile, got texting and to know each other a bit, then talked over text, ended up sexting, met up for a cute date, hit it off big time, went back to mine for fun. Felt like kindred spirits. Since then I arranged to meet her this weekend to hangout and play games, she was hesitant and took a day to respond, texted on and off that week. Generally I was always the one to initiate texting, but she would reply with a lot of text and seem excited.… Read more »
Nice job on meeting up, getting sex, and having fun. You arranged a 2nd meeting which was good, but then you fucked up by continuing to text her first. And just texting in general. You should’ve arranged and then kept texting to a minimal. You also fucked up by asking if you two were still on for the date. That showed a lot of weakness in that you were insecure and needed her to validate she still wanted to meet with you. Ideally you should’ve not confirmed and let her text you. Or if you did confirm, at the very… Read more »
Hello Rebel, so I met this chick 6 months ago and from the onset, I told her I wanted to date her and she said she didn’t want anything serious. So I kept pushing, hoping I could change her mind until she told me she was in a long distance relationship, so I kinda slowed down but she already knew I had developed feelings for her, I took her on dates and they went quite well, invited her back to my place and I froze, I couldn’t make a move on her and she didn’t sleep over. All these while,… Read more »
You need to move on and live your life. Date other girls. Best chance of having her gain interest is for her to see or hear about you with other girls. But like you said, you already got oneitis for this girl. You put her on a pedestal. Despite that, she still liked you enough to come over. However you whimped out and didn’t try to fuck her or even make a move. This showed her that you’re ball-less. She lost attraction for you at this point because you didn’t even try to fuck. She tried to give you a… Read more »
Thanks Jay, so 2 days ago I was at the mall picking some things and I heard someone call my name, I looked back and it was the same chick I had oneitis for, I walked up to her and we exchange pleasantries. She asked how I was doing, I said fine. But I didn’t bring up the issue of her not picking her calls. She had some more shopping to do so we parted ways. Is it good that I didn’t bring it up? I still haven’t contacted her or thought about it even after seeing her at the… Read more »
Hey brother, you handled this well. Yea, not bringing it up was the right move. If you brought up her not answering your calls you would’ve looked desperate. And good on you for being busy and not even thinking of contacting her. If I was you I’d still continue on your path. She has your #, and I bet that she’ll hit you up down the line. Just keep focused on your own life. Even date other women and have them in public with you so she sees or her friends see. Nice job so far recovering from earlier.
I appreciate bro, you were most vital to my recovery.
Sure thing brother, I’m glad I could help.
Hi man ok I think u should help me So she joined our tution and so I talked to her in insta and we get to know each other and I was the one who starts first but she used to speak with me more enthusiast and as usual I start the conversation and so I sent her a message and nxt day mrng see replied “GM” and I saw that msg and didn’t reply instead I had my sad story posts in my insta story and she even saw my 3 sad post(sad quotes) in my story but she… Read more »
Hey bro. Can’t tell from your story if she had any interest at first or was just responding. But yea with her last “GM” response she didn’t have high interest or any. Not replying was a good choice. But then you posting 3 sad quotes is some beta shit. I don’t know why you’d expect her to respond brother. That’s some weak shit to post sad quotes. You’re supposed to be a motherfucking man. Women are turned off by that shit. Don’t post sad quotes or anything like that. If you’re sad then you need to handle that on your… Read more »
So we’ve been talking for about 2 months now and all of a sudden she stopped responding to me and it became to a point where she took a whole day to text back when she would usually text me all day. Now I have been showing the signs that you listed and wasn’t letting her text me first or show care in the relationship but for the past 3 days I have no answered her last text and only sent a few snaps back and forth but I also want this relationship to last. Also she did mention she’s… Read more »
Thanks for your question Nick, but need more context – you’ve been talking for 2 months but how much do you see each other, are you having sex, things like this. That’s bullshit. She could actually be stressed and stuff but if she liked you more she’d be chasing you as a source of relief. Don’t call her out on it, just realize that women are always going after the men they want. If you don’t text but you snap that’s just like transferring the line of communication over to that. Just be busy, work on getting your money right,… Read more »
Hi
There is a girl I met a few months ago. I always text her first. The last time we had a text conversation was around a month ago. What’s right to do now?
Thanks.
I’d just move on and wouldn’t bother with it. Talk to other girls – she has low interest / no interest.
If you decide to text her again, hit her up to hang out. But don’t keep texting just to text.
But she sent to me a live picture of her to me on snapchat, but she didn’t send that to me only.
Do I take this as she is trying to initiate something? Or should I move on?
Thanks.
You’re overthinking. Not a bad thing, but not a big deal.
Be confident and respond with something witty or just ask her to hang. Then forget about her.
You need to be talking and fucking more girls or just be less attached from getting this girl. If you care too much already then you’re going to fuck it up if she shows more interest down the line. Her and other girls should be seeing your story and be wondering about you.
But she once sent me a snapchat. The problem is that she sent it to few others in her snapchat list aswell. Do I take it as she was trying to initiate a conversation?
Thanks
How is that a problem? Maybe bro, but you need to stop overthinking with something that small. She wants some of your attention and some other people’s as well. That’s fine. Maybe she was just looking for some attention or maybe she wants you to make a move. You won’t know until you do something about it. Send a reply to her if you want to flirt with her or meet up. Send a picture or video of yourself doing something and get some conversation going. If you make this small interaction too big of a deal, you’re gonna fuck… Read more »
Hi Jay, I met this girl 8 weeks ago at a local coffee shop I always go in the morning, she was a bit shy and just started her business, I found that we have similar interests, so we exchanged IG to continue. We have hung out 3 times over the course of 4 weeks, we hold hands, made out and got really physical on the 3rd date, but no sex yet. I was hoping to meet her for the fourth time 3 weeks ago, however, since our schedules did not work, then she went home for Thanksgiving, last time… Read more »
Thanks for the comment man, and it looks like you had the balls to approach her and make something happen. If you know you’re gonna run into her at this coffee shop again, then I’d just wait until you see her rather than text. Then you can flirt with her, ask her how her trip was, and make plans for her to come over to your place. You could still text her but it’d be better to wait it out, if she likes you she’ll hit you up eventually. But seeing her in person is by far the best option,… Read more »
Hi Jay,
Thanks for the message and advice.
So this would probably takes a while to warm her up to the point to where we were 3 wks ago. I wonder how would you approach that? Since at the coffee shop I can not be physical or super flirty in the morning, what would be the ideal way to proceed?
Thanks again,
You don’t need to be super physical or physical at all. You can still flirt with her or be subtle. What I would do is just go up and talk to her for like a minute after you get your coffee or whatever you order, and then stay “Oh hey I have to go to blah blah blah, but you should come over this weekend”. You’ve already gotten physical so it’s up to her to come over and decide to have sex.
Don’t overthink it man, just be cool and confident
Thanks for the advice. I never get to chance to go to the coffee shop yet, due to the schedule doesn’t work. However, she did text me a couple of weeks ago and reinitiate conversations over text. We had both set up a date for today afternoon, as I confirmed with her this morning, she cancelled it because she was sick and had errands to run, then I told her no problems, will chat next time. She then texted back said we’ll get together, just not today without counter offer. What’s your suggestion in this situation? Should I wait for… Read more »
Next time I wouldn’t confirm day of. Some guys do that but I’ve found it’s best not to, especially since she already reached out. I’ve noticed for me, girls are more likely to show up / not cancel if I don’t text to confirm. That way they have to invest and reach out to me to confirm. If she’s choosing between you and another man, she’s going to choose the one that’s more unavailable. I’d definitely wait for her to text you man. Chances are very high she will, as she did here. Let her chase you, she didn’t make… Read more »
Hi Jay,
I appreciate your message.
Definitely learned from the lesson here. So just to confirm what you said, next time around, DO NOT text girl to confirm date?
If so, what happen if you have already made plans, such as reservations or something? (If she doesn’t show up, so I don’t waste money on making reservation)
And Yes, in this case, I will let her chase at this point by not reaching out any more.
Correct, don’t confirm. And if you did – don’t ask “if we’re still on?”. Just say “see you tonight”. But in my experience not confirming is best. This is assuming this isn’t a girlfriend. You shouldn’t be making reservations at places for girls at all unless you’re already fucking them for a while and they’re very feminine / if they’re a girlfriend. In this case the chance they flake is very low. Even then I’d only do that for a relationship. For girls that aren’t your girlfriend, especially ones that you haven’t fucked, you should not be investing so much… Read more »
Hey Jay, so there’s this girl I’ve been talking to on a dating app. We really have a lot in common and we’ve been texting for the past 4 days with both jokes and deep convos. However, I always have to be the one to initiate or jokingly prompt her that its her turn to choose the next topic/question. She is really engaging though, ask really deep questions, answers with lengthy detailed responses and opens up a lot about herself. I personally felt that I knew her pretty well at this point so I brought up meeting in person for… Read more »
Hey James, you made the right decision to finally leave her alone. If the conversations were really that deep she’ll hit you up. But real talk, having “deep conversations” without meeting up is a big flag. Girls don’t do that with guys they don’t know if they want to fuck them. Maybe she liked the conversation, but you should’ve been trying to meet up, you kinda friendzoned yourself in a way by just talking over text forever. Sill reversible if she chases you going forward so don’t sweat it. Deep talks should only be reserved for girlfriends, and even then… Read more »
Thanks for the article! It really helped. But the thing is that I have been dating this girl for about two weeks now. Always we only get to text each other properly around 9pm-01am otherwise, When I try to text her at midday (we primarily use WhatsApp) she leaves and and replies when I leave. What’s wrong? Please give me the cold hard truth.
Sure thing brother. Would need more details, but it just seems like you are both busy during the day and text at night when you have more time. That’s fine. You just started dating her so you shouldn’t be worried about texting 24/7. You can text her to have a good day half the time, and her do it half the time first, ideally more as time goes on. But you’re already dating so no need to always be texting. Use it to communicate a little bit and primarily to meet up in person. The longer you date the more… Read more »
Thank you so much.but she also doesn’t initiate the conversations because most of the time our conversations end abruptly and we just pick up from were we left off. Is this good or bad? And mostly I skip a day or two before texting her just to show I have a life of my own.
Doesn’t seem like a big deal right now, you’re just both busy and she’s not that attached because you just started dating. Fuck her well, be masculine, and continue to be focused on building your own life. Eventually if you get her to like you more, she’ll text you more and will initiate.
Watch the reddit nice guys videos on YouTube. This should be a lesson on why over texting a girl is a bad idea. Those guys get angry and frustrated if a girl does not respond quickly or ever.Those videos have helped me to text girls less and talk to them in person. Girls are less likely to hide and pull avoidance tactics in person. I am getting too old to waiting for a girl to communicate first since girls still play the “women are passive, men make must the first move” card. I got a busy life to do than… Read more »
Texting less is good. In person is definitely the best way to meet girls. Online can also be useful though to supplement meeting girls in real life. It’s a numbers game, but if you have a good profile, you really only need to spend 15 minutes a day on it. If you’re frustrated with it, then either up your pictures and value or do what you’re doing and stick to real life. I think both are good in a player’s arsenal, but do what’s working for you.
It’s been a week I haven’t texted her first.. but iam pretty much sure that she will wish me on my birthday as she views my stories..
In this case should I reply her or ignore?
I need more context. Is this a girl you’ve been fucking and then things fell off, a girl you just met, an ex gf, a girl you’ve been talking to… etc.
Thanks for the reply rebel!
No she is just a girl I like she knows that I like her ..
But Everytime I try to Meetup she says yes but never meet .. gives n no of excuses so I stopped chasing her.but she views my Instagram stories and it’s very likely that she will wish me on my birthday .as IAM on no contact with her should I reply if she wishes me on my birthday??
Sorry for the long msg
Okay thanks for the clarification. For me, I wouldn’t waste my energy on a girl who didn’t want to meet. If she messages on your birthday then cool, you can try to meet up again but chances are she’ll flake again. Best thing to do is say a short “thanks” or don’t even respond. In fact if you don’t respond, and you keep posting Instagram stories, she’ll probably hit you up in a few weeks. She might not, but that’s your best bet at creating more interest and making yourself valuable in her eyes. Since you’re engaging with social media… Read more »
Thank you so much rebel!
I’ll put everything you said into practice IAM just amazed by the efforts you put in for helping .
One small doubt since IAM not going to text her anymore.. what if she even never text me first or try to meet up?
Sure thing brother, glad I could help. It’s very possible she never texts you first or wants to hang. That’s how you have to look at things in the dating game. Especially with this girl who hasn’t shown high enough interest to meet up. But if she’s going to ever meetup with you, it’s going to be because she wants to. In order for her to have any desire in the situation you’re in, she needs to pursue. You’ve already done your part. Now live a dope life. And post about it on social media if you want to show… Read more »
By mistake
Hey rebel. I’ve been talking to this girl over text for a couple days and I thought all was going well, I initiated the conversation twice and she initiated it once. (We’ve never met in person, I added her on facebook). Towards the end of out last conversation her texts where starting to become dry so I told her “I’ll let You go you probably gotta wake up early for work tommorow”. Now it’s been just over a week since we last texted because I wanted to see if she would text me first, and she didn’t. I’m still friends… Read more »
Glad you found value from it. To be blunt, you fucked up by saying “I’ll let You go you probably gotta wake up early for work tommorow” – this sounds extremely butthurt. If a girl said that to you, you’d think she was butthurt. You showed a lot of weakness and this was a major turn off for her. You would’ve been much better off saying nothing and not responding to her. Or ask if she’s around to hang out, or really anything else. What you need to do is stop viewing her stories. Start actually living your life, post… Read more »
Thanks for the reply, and I’m open to criticism because I’m not to good with talking to girls hahaha. Earlier that day I told her I was going to be busy with my friends that night, and when she was texting me throughout the evening I was taking a while to reply and she was being dry. Do You think it came out as if I was but hurt if she knew I was busy? Also I found it pretty weird that she’s stopped posting selfies on her story a few days after we stopped talking – just thought I… Read more »
I’d guess so, but it’s not that big of a deal man. And you should stop looking at her stories too.
But you are putting her on a pedestal. Women shouldn’t be that similar to you. The reason she is similar is because she has characteristics that are masculine.
So there’s girl I like and I’m pretty sure she likes me to. We met at this job interview thing about a month ago and I haven’t met with her since. We got along really well each other and I felt we had something going on. We haven’t gone on any dates or anything yet because she’s always busy. What should I do?
If you’ve tried to meet up with her but she’s always busy then leave her alone. She might’ve had decent interest but if it was really that high she would’ve made time for you. But don’t worry bro, this is normal. Girls have a lot of options and right now she’s probably trying to figure out what she should do. I’ve had plenty of girls who had enough interest to flirt with me but would be hard to meet up with in person. The best thing to do is take away your attention. Stop hitting her up. When she needs… Read more »
Alright thanks bro I’ll be sure to try this
Sure thing brother
Hello Rebel! I would like to thank you for giving such amazing tips and help.. yes I went no contact for more than 2 weeks .. after that I replied to her stories I don’t know but I could feel that she is doing it purposely to get my attention so that I could text her.. so I did replied her and asap ask her to meet up . I told her this weekend we should meet no more excuses.. Saturday or Sunday evening place you decide. To this she replied ok done done. Now my doubt as she agreed… Read more »
Did she decide on a day? I wouldn’t leave a ball in her court. Women are undeceive. I would’ve asked her when she’s free. Then if she gives me a day/night or keeps it general I suggest a specific date. But if you already have a date locked in with her, don’t remind her. That makes it sound weak and like you’re unsure of yourself. Let her reach out to you. If she doesn’t that means she was going to flake anyways. And she hits you up to confirm then her interest is high enough that you will have a… Read more »
No I just told her this weekend we should meet..
Me myself suggested sat or Sunday Evening and told her to decide a place to meet up. Do which she just acknowledged by saying Done done! Nothing else.
So should I remind her again to Meetup or ask where are we meeting.. or wait for her to reach out
You should’ve set a time and place, you let her choose and women generally don’t like make decisions, especially if they’re feminine women.
If you remind her and ask you’re putting yourself in the weak role. I’d say leave it alone – but you could take a stab come Sat or Sun morning and say “Let’s meet at 8 tonight at _____”.
Thanks rebel!
Yeah I just confirmed a day before ..
I just asked tomorrow we are meeting at what time so that I can plan accordingly.. because I didn’t wanted my Sunday to be pending state because of her
She replied in the evening.. I’ll meet
I said cool see you then.
Whole Sunday I did nothing no texting or confirming as I was expecting her to reach out but she didn’t..
I think IAM rushing the things or she is just not interested..
Time to go no contact
Any suggestions from your side how to tackle this?
You didn’t confirm a place or a specific time, that was a mistake. You should’ve told her to come over at ____ time. But you left in her hands.
So now yea just talk to other girls cause you fucked up. If she hits you up later you can hang out, but you weren’t decisive and she wasn’t that interested.
I totally agree with you rebel! . But if the meeting place and time was uncertain she could have asked or confirmed it if she was interested.. but she didn’t. And yeah I suggested her the time and told her to decide a place which is not right .. but was not a big deal . IAM confused by her flaky behavior upon confirming a day before she said yes but didn’t show up.. This shit happened for the 5th time.. My birthday is tomorrow and IAM not going to f…in reply her.. Now what I think is the best… Read more »
She could’ve and she would’ve if her interest was high. Her interest was medium-ish, so you could’ve gotten her over if you would’ve lead it more instead of giving her the power. She wanted you to lead. She didn’t have a location to show up to or a time, she didn’t really flake because you didn’t make solid plans. Wasn’t a flake on her part, if she agreed to a time and place and never showed up then that would’ve been a flake. Anyways, can’t fix your mistake now. Don’t dwell on it. Just realize for next time what you… Read more »
Thanks again rebel! I would say though iam making mistake but with every mistake iam learning.. Since it’s was almost for the 6th time we couldn’t meet up .. IAM thinking to ask her out again but this Time I’ll make solid plans and tell her.. Should I make a move or let her reach out to me.. Since i all ready told her that next time I’ll plan something and let you know she said ok . and smarty made am excuse that I couldn’t meet last Sunday due to work.. I don’t know but iam confident enough to… Read more »
Hey . I’m really confused about this girl . I met this girl 1month ago and we shared a lot of emotional talks and funny talks . Just a week ago I dated her and she really enjoyed that !! Now sometime I text her and sometime she texts me . But I think she just talk to me in her free time and just want attention. She didn’t even message me for past 2 days ! I like her but don’t want to be needy ! What should i do ! She know that I like her ..
Next time she texts you asks her if she wants to hang out. Stop texting all the time. You already met up so now you should try to meet up and fuck.
Hi, ummm….. what if I’m a girl and just trying to find out why my friends don’t text me first?? Can I still use your method on them?
Yea, if you stop texting them so much and let them text you first and stop being desperate for the friendship, then it will work if they’re real friends.
But if things fall off then it’s cause they had no real interest in being friends. Which you’ll probably find is the case with many people.
Hi Rebel!
When you said “ stop being desperate for the friendship” I just realised that I need to start valuing myself more…
Thanks for the reply!
Sure thing, glad I could help
Hi There Very good post and helps many I’m sure. My situation is a long distance relationship and when we meet ( I’m the guy ) we have had an extremely good time, physically and mentally, btw a tad older than your followers ( but still mixed up ) We text a lot about everything, but yes mostly me, I always start with the Good morning darling and other words ( cos of the time difference I wake up when her day is afternoon. She always texts back but noticeably lesser feelings…. me “ Good morning gorgeous x “ her… Read more »
You’d be surprised man, about half the readers are under 25 and then a solid quarter or third are over 40. Lot of younger guys and older guys dealing with girls and relationship problems. To give you some feedback – your interest in her is much higher than hers is for you. Just stop texting her good morning all the time, let her miss you and text you. Long distance relationships are difficult. If it’s going to be long distance for the foreseeable future, then chances are that it won’t work out, especially with how you’re acting right now. If… Read more »
Hey J, so i’ve just recently started seeing this new girl. We went out on our first date two weeks ago. Good vibes, a little kino here and there, but nothing too sexual. We had our second date this Wednesday because she spent last week away for work. We made out in the restaurant all throughout the date; in some instances she even forgot what we were talking about before the kisses. That’s all that happened that night because we went our separate ways afterwards. We both had other plans with our friends. She was very receptive the entire second… Read more »
Yea I would wait until she hits you up. Generally I try to get girls back to my place on the 1st date, and if logistically it’s not going to happen then definitely by the 2nd date. Going forward I’d suggest you try to get a 2nd date at your place or at a bar right near your place so you can then go home – which is what I do on the 1st date in 80% of the cases and 2nd date in the rest. My dates are often just walks in the city until we get to my… Read more »
Hey J, thanks for getting back at me. We split the bill on our last date. I should’ve mentioned that I’m not from the US, so when I said restaurant I meant a place where we just ordered a drink each and some sushi rolls to share. One thing I forgot to mention, which may or may not give you useful info: Her birthday was last Monday. I used that as an excuse to wish her a good one and ask her out for our second date, which was on Wednesday that same week. During the date she mentioned that… Read more »
Since you guys split the bill, then that’s fine, both more or less equally invested. Yea you didn’t have to go out with her friends, but if you did and had a good time, you would’ve expanded your social circle. If her friends don’t like you, it’s tough, but if they liked you, then it would’ve been super validating that you’re a high value dude and it could’ve helped you. Regardless, that was her trying to make plans with you. If you didn’t want to, you should’ve had an excuse that you were busy and countered her offer with a… Read more »
Good stuff. Quick question, I met this girl out and about and got her number. I was very good about setting up 1st and 2nd date with very little conversation via text. Even when she got sick and went dark on me, I waited and eventually she followed up. Both dates went well and went back to her place for some tonsil hockey. The following day I went out of town for the holidays and international vacation on the frontend. Anyway, about a week later I reached out to set up the 3rd date to get it on the books… Read more »
Tonsil hockey means making out not fucking right? Haven’t heard that much before. Asking her when she was free is fine, shouldn’t be kicking yourself about that. I always ask when they’re free before offering when I’m free if I can, until after I get them in my rotation. You shouldn’t do anything for a while, just wait. If you guys have each on social media then that’s great, you can post shit and she can see it and be reminded of you. But if not, I wouldn’t do anything. You care too much which is why you’re overthinking it.… Read more »
Hello rebel!
There a girl I like and she knows me IAM not a stranger for her. The Problem is she never meetup and give reasons doesn’t even say no.. but keeps on flaking.
Recently I tried once again asked her to Meetup she replied
ILL INFORM ONCE ILL LEAVE FROM HER IAM IN A MEETING.. it was Sunday..
So I asked meeting on Sunday ??
She said it’s unofficial
..after that I was expecting that she will inform me but she didn’t what should I do??
She isn’t interested in you, just keeps you for extra attention. Leave her alone and go after other girls. She could come back around, but I wouldn’t expect it. Her interest is just too low right now, you need to stop asking her out. If a girl flakes then it’s on her to put some effort it. If she’s just stopping responding then you need to move on and have respect for yourself, move on from this girl.
Hi there. I‘ve been dating this girl six weeks now, one week ago she came to my house and I talked to her about my feelings , that I see her in a serious way and what’s her thought on that. She replied the same, had a nice but the same fucking teasing night without letting me going for more and next day she asked if I was pissed that we didn’t do anything. I told her I was not pissed about that, but for the fact that she thinks that I want her only for that. She liked my… Read more »
Come on man. You’re lying to yourself and her. You wanted to fuck her but then when she asked you, you lied and said you got mad because she thinks you only want her for that. What the fuck dude. That’s some beta shit. You should’ve kicked her out if she wasn’t going to fuck. And the fact that you’re trying to get serious with her when she doesn’t even want to have sex with you is weak. You want her to see you as this nice guy that doesn’t just want to fuck. It’s weak and a major turn… Read more »
Rebel, bro, I think you got me wrong! What I said to her I really meant it. I really see her as a girlfriend material and she also confessed she wants to commit seriously. My problem is, when we meet in person she is playing too much and hard to get although I know she wants to have sex. I already told her, I don’t have a problem waiting for you till you feel like it but don’t tease me no more. It’s not all about either fucking the girl quick or move on to another! That’s my point. I… Read more »
I get you like the girl – but you like her too much too early, she hasn’t earned it yet. You’re the one confessing how much you want to be with her. You give her the power, which is why she’s continually teasing you. She needs to pursue the relationship. You’ve given her all the comfort and have put her on a pedestal. You’re acting too desperate for her for the relationship before you even got sex, which is why she’s teasing you and not giving you sex. She’s getting you to invest more and more. Work on your seducing… Read more »
I really pressed her today to tell me the truth coz she started again with the teasing and shit! She confessed she is a virgin so I guess I can get it now why the fuck this behavior
I’d take it easy with her, if she wants to hook up then cool but if not don’t worry about it.
Thank you a lot, you really helped!
Glad I could my man.
I speak to this one girl and we are friends but I don’t want to date any girl now but I want her in the future cause she is so sexy and gorgeous and nice to talk to but she parties a lot and she also never messages me first like I want her to think let me message him I Amat yo speak to him sort of thing but it won’t happen and I don’t know what to do
Please reply I would really appreciate it
Please send me a email of your reply
Your message is hard to read. Sounds like you’re desperate for one girl who isn’t into you or just indifferent. You know the drill – talk to other girls, focus on your life, and stop getting desperate for women you’re not even dating yet.
If I am good friends with her for a long time does that mean it is possible to have something in the future
Like all I wear are friends now so it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like me or interested but if we are mates for a while is it possible for us to work later on
Chances are very low, but yes it’s possible to get her. Likely after she goes through a break up and needs a shoulder to cry on. But you’ll always be the weaker person in the relationship and she’ll dump you. If she was really into you, then she’d show more interest.
I wouldn’t recommend trying to get at a girl that you’re friends with – it’s weak, likely won’t work, and if it does, you’re going to end up heartbroken. Go after women who like you from the get-go, these are the girls who see you as alpha.
So I got this girl I am dating her I initiated contact 3 days in a row after that I haven’t it’s now 3 days I havnt texted her and she hasn’t either. We have a date in 2 weeks and I am thinking about not texting her first till then. What do you think ?
Yea man, if you texted her 3 days in a row, you’ve already pursued a lot. Give her a chance to breathe and hit you up.
Hello rebel!
Well I think you are right the more you chase the more she will pull away.
I what to know what is considered as a girl flaking
Do girl flake if don’t suggest her place to Meetup?
It’s a flake if you two make plans to meet at a time and a place and she doesn’t show up.
Hi I reached out to this girl on facebook. Had a nice chat with her on facebook and decide to ask her out for a cup of coffee. The first day was great of course and i felt a strong connection with her. I say this because we made eye contact, the conversation had no awkward pauses, we made lots of jokes and we were sitting very close to each other as well. We hang out for 6 hours on that day. After that she did say that we should hangout again. Because the first hang out was great, the… Read more »
Seems like you guys hit it off. 6 hours is a long ass time. You should’ve tried to sleep with her on the 1st date. And since you didn’t, you should’ve definitely tried on the second date and had her come over. You also made the mistake of giving her presents on a 2nd date, she’s not even your girlfriend. Gifts should be reserved for girlfriends only. I’d stop initiating if I was you. Once she hits you up, make plans for her to come over to your place. I’m not sure if you’re not into sex or what. But… Read more »
Thanks for replying back. I forget to mention that there are time where she would send gif and meme to me and we would react to it in the funniest way possible. But i guess this is normal behaviour for most people. There was also time where this girl was asking for my zodiac sign and ask me if i can do a love personality test with her on her phone. Basically she did like my zodiac sign and my love personality test result was similar to hers. Perhaps these were subtle signs but do you believe that she curious/interested… Read more »
Yea most girls are into zodiac. Don’t overthink it, she has interest in you.
You don’t ask her to have sex with you, that’s awkward and weak. Invite her over to hang at your place, and then escalate physically. Read my articles on how to fuck a girl / have sex and how to turn a girl on if you want more specifics.
Thanks for the reply Today she texted me on her own and ask me what i was doing. Basically said i was at the gym and had plans with family later. She did seem a bit down because she wanted me to go shopping with her today. I did reply back to her that i am free tmr but she has yet to reply back. At this point i am not over text and just waiting patiencely for her reply. Some people, especially from a girls opinion, said that shopping with a girl is a big hint that she like… Read more »
As long as she’s buying her own things and not using you to buy anything, it’s an excuse to hang out. But I’d still invite her over. If you want an excuse you can say that you two are going to watch a holiday movie or something like that. Then you can make your move.
so i was texting this girl on instagram and we hit it off immediately so we went out and we fucked on the first link , after the second time we fucked about two days after she started making excuses about facetiming each other , which was kinda weird because she said i was the best she ever had but she got mad that i didnt bust inside of her and she stop texting first so i made two mistakes with continuing to ask her too facetime and i started texting first but after that i started being dry and… Read more »
Did you wrap up? If she’s mad you didn’t bust inside of her, you need to be careful. She could be crazy and be trying to lock you down with a baby. You did the right thing by becoming more dry, but then when she called you out you folded. Basically you projected that you had a masculine frame, she shit tested you, and you failed like a beta. Best thing is to let her pursue you, you’ve already fucked her twice. She’ll hit you up if you leave her alone. Honestly, this girl is showing major red flags with… Read more »
Apparently shes on birth control but she also has a kid and today i went to the park to play basketball and the park just happens to be by her house so i posted it and but anyway she texted me asking me if i was near her house and i told her i left about an hour ago and she said ok never mind so i didnt text her for 3 hours then i texted her back saying hey and she said hi and so i told her pretty much told her i stopped talking to her to think… Read more »
If you break up your sentences it will be easier to follow but I think I understand. A man should set his terms, but it’s better to do that in person. You shouldn’t say you stopped talking to her to think. If you have terms, just set them. Ideally in person, but text is better than nothing, so at least you stood up for yourself. That’s a positive. . Sure she’s on birth control… You’re trusting a girl who you barely know. Common dude. If you want a kid then bust inside of her, if you don’t then pull out.… Read more »
She’s a lot younger than I am but we had a class together at our college. She would go a few days with out texting and is text her first then she’s hit me with the I just saw this etc…we did go to the movies and I did ask her if she wanted to hang agin and she said yea. It took her almost half a day to text me from the day before. Should I just never text her first then?
You could, not sure how into she is so she may hit you up or may not. I’d go for the hang out right now and set something up – invite her over to your place.
Yea that’s what I thought of doing. Instead of going out just asking if she wanted to come chill at my place.
I wouldn’t ask if she wants to come to your place, I’d ask when she’s free. “You should come over and watch a movie with me. When are you free?” This way you’re keeping it in your frame, not needing her approval to ask her to come over. But you’re still asking when she’s free so she has some say and also so you don’t look desperate having to give away your availability first.
Hi rebel,
I did exactly as you explained in this blog I stopped texting her first..
It’s been almost 3 weeks now what I have noticed is thought she is not texting me first but she replies to my status with emojis
What should I do? Is she trying to get my attention?
Nice job, you stepped up and started valuing your attention. Yea, she see’s that you’re actually living life. Keep on doing what you’re doing in life, post on social media like it seems you’re doing. If she has enough interest, she’ll text you first eventually and then you can hang.
Thanks rebel,
Ok so I should wait and let her text me first.buy doing this will she think that IAM not interested? Or she is expecting me to text her first or to make the move
Is it necessary that girl will initiate if she is interested ??
You’re looking at everything from her point of view. While it’s good to have empathy to understand people, you’re overanalyzing. You need to be selfish with your time. Who cares what she expects you to do? That’s exactly what a beta thinks like. Even if she texts you, you’re acting too weak in your own head to handle it right. Your weakness will show up down the line. Yes, she will initiate if she’s interested enough. If she doesn’t initiate, she’s not that interested. If you just met a girl, yea you can initiate. But if you’re always texting her first to start a conversation, then… Read more »
I would personally like to talk to you through email
Would be happy to do a coaching session
https://rebelliousdevelopment.com/coaching/
Hye, I spent a month with my unknown fellow and we met for the first time during training. We spent a good time, hanging out together all the time, sharing thoughts and I took good care of her. She told me she is interested in another boy back in her country so I realized the real story. She told me that I told to her friend that I am taking good care of her. We are back to work but in different cities not too far. I shared my thoughts for her, but she said she is not having the… Read more »
I’d leave this girl alone. She told you from the beginning she’s interested in another man and only sees you as a friend. She was upfront about it, many women would use you for attention. I’d walk away and just date girls who have interest in you.
Status report sauced her up we good she gon call the kid when she out the shower
Cool man sounds like you got this
Yea appreciate she be tryna do these dumb shit tests and shit soon as I ignore her shit she automatically fixes her self
She saw my post on snap and responded with this Good job I know we not close like we used to be but I’m still proud of you keep it up She not like towards other people it’s hard asf to explain but u get the jist I’ve imprinted her I’ll let u know what she says but beside that I’ve gotten 101k monthly visitors on my pintrest I blew up bro Oh another thing after I got pied in the face she caught me in the hallway blushing hella hard saying hey we did a quick chop up then… Read more »
Nice man seems like you’re focused on your purpose and she sees you gaining status. Her and other girls will be all over you.
Good shit man. Yea stay on your grind and good things will continue to blossom for you.
Sounds good brother. Great to hear you’re focused on your business and that women are coming your way.
I can’t follow what you’re saying, you needa break this into sentences and paragraphs.
Yea man stay focused on your business and working on yourself. As for the girl, seems like she likes you and you clearly want to fuck her, so why don’t you just invite her over and smash?
Ahhh got ya man. Yea just hang tight until then
Invite her over to your place to hang out and then do your thing.
You don’t have your plan place. That’s going to cockblock you like crazy. Get that situated first.
rebelliousdevelopment@gmail.com
Yo so this one girl ain’t gonna go to much into detail but as we were Snapchatting she sent something private as my phone was dying I swipe up and directly presses the power save button exits my the power save button my iPhone screen just screen records then freezes then when I restarted my phone I try to explain to her the video never left the chat like I was dead ass ain’t even told nobody bro she texted fuck u I shout have trusted u but suprisely she ain’t block the kid she just then when I explained… Read more »
Yea from her point of view it looks like you screen shotted her pics on purpose so she’s upset. Explaining it that hard isn’t doing you any favors. I’d just let her cool off and she’ll probably hit you up.
This what she texted back bro Don’t got nun against u cuz its my fault I shouldn’t have trusted u but it is wah it is I’ll say hi n bye n respect u we just not all buddy buddy See this the shit that pissed me off the first time n with ppl y when shit go south u gotta tell me wah u did for me my nigga n I said we not gone b all buddy buddy meaning not close like b4 cuz I don’t trust u u str8 up lying to me n all like y… Read more »
Well she’s trying to act like she’s not like these hoes as she states. But she clearly is. She just is mad cause she’s afraid of getting found it. She thinks you’re trying to expose her.
She’ll ruin your game with other women if she’s in the same social circle. I’d just stay away from her man, she will cockblock you.
Nah she done got jealous when she seen other females coworkers talking to the kid she can’t get over the kid she be trying to find my personality in other niggas she was just copying everything I do she still got the whole chat saved didn’t even block the kid at all but I know wassa my big bro told me the same shit to trust me bro from a jitty been knew how to deal with these hoes Oh yea bro if u can how can it get a notification when u answers the question and check out my… Read more »
I see what u talking bout to no one even accused her of saying she on go these females be snitching on them Selves bro unknowingly like one time she texted I can get drunk around y’all I be wilding I just say 1 mean bet she started to copy the kid from how I talk I imprinted her bro like I’m a trance type shit she just cant get over the kid like she not a stalker or obsessive or anything but when she see the kid she get moyen mean wet in kreyol from a jit been outchea… Read more »