She never texts first
She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything. Well it does. It means you like her more than she likes you. And it also means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.
It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, or a girl you just started dating. If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.
Is this a huge deal?
I get questions like “this girl never texts me first and I always initiate” all the time. I tell the guy it’s not the end of the world. Because some woman whose not as interested really isn’t. However, between you and her, it’s a symptom of the overall relationship.
When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest. After all, if it’s a girl you’re dating or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you. It may even be at an okay level.
But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do. You’re in the weaker position. It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.
You care more than her. And therefore she has more power than you. Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction. And if she’s a girl you’re just dating ,then you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.
But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!
I get this a lot from guys. They tell me she never texts first but always replies. The girl still acts excited when they text her.
- “my girl doesn’t text first but always replies”
- “female friend never texts me first but seems happy when I initiate”
- “I think she likes me but never texts first”
These are the types of statements I get from guys who want me to evaluate their situation.
Situations where she never initiates text but always responds quickly and therefore you’re hopeful.
You know what that means? She likes when you text her. Because that’s free attention. Some guys will think that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you.
I’d rather have a woman completely reciprocate effort or not at all.
Because when she she never texts first so you’re in the position of false hope. The women who are for you will also text you first. Because they don’t just want your attention in the form of text. They are using text to actually want to meet up with you.
When the girl doesn’t text first but always replies, that just means she doesn’t like you but likes the attention.
She may be happy when you text her and therefore she’ll respond well.
However the problem remains the same. You’re still constantly chasing her. You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.
Women desire constant validation and attention. Don’t be mad, that’s how they are. That’s like a man getting free sex without doing anything else, of course most guys will take it.
Women like attention – and that’s fine if she reciprocates. But when a girl doesn’t text first but always replies she’s not reciprocating.
So when you attention to her and she doesn’t deserve it, don’t get caught up over an enthusiastic response. I don’t care how many emoji’s she’s using. I don’t care how “shy” she is. Women who actually like you will also text you first. If she never initiates text but always responds to you, that just means you’re chasing her.
Pursuing is when you initially approach her, text her, get the date, and so on. But pursuing means it’s reciprocal. Once you meet this woman, let alone start seeing her / dating her, there should be a mutual flow of energy.
What to do
It doesn’t matter what your goal is. Whether it’s to date her, marry he, or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you. Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up. You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.
Because right now you’re being needy. Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.
And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.
You can text her first sometimes. But if she’s never texting you first, then you need to stop.
Stop texting her first
You need to stop texting her first. She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to. And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time. When she never initiates txt but always responds this means you’re chasing her. You must stop this.
It’s not that you can never text a woman. Yrs you can initiate conversations.
It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation. Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in. Instead you need to get her to chase you. Or at least have a reciprocal interaction.
Which means stop texting her first.
If you’re sending her a:
- good morning
- good night
- how are you doing
- how’s your day
- hey there
Or whatever type of texts, cut it off. She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you. Instead, get on your purpose. Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass. If she was texting you first sometimes then yes you can also hit her up. But if she’s never taking initiative, then you need to back off.
- If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
- If it’s just some girl you’re dating it might take her a week or a few weeks.
But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first if she has any real interest.
What if she never texts me first?
That just might happen. If the girl never texts you first ever, then she doesn’t have any interest in you. A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually. A girl you’re seeing dating should give you a text soon as well. It might take her longer, but if you’re having a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.
The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t really dated yet. You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now. She might have some interest but it’s not enough to take you seriously.
Stop responding right away
Another thing is to stop responding right away. When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time. Make her wait sometimes.
I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back. Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business. Then you won’t have time to text her back right away. Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.
But switch things up.
The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes. If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.
Woman want a man who has higher value than herself. A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away. He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.
Sign of a bigger issue
If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue. And that issue is that you care more than her. You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first. You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.
That’s no way for a man to live.
You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is. Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you started to date. If you’re the beta then you need her. And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her. But if you’re the alpha then you’re leading in a calm, non desperate way. Then you give her a chance to like you.
Right now you need to slow down. You’re trying to force things by always texting her first. Step back.
Stop texting her first.
Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her. If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first. When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone. Take your time. Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.
Let her text you
If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless. But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you. Which is an amazing feeling. You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.
Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and the roles can reverse. If she never texts first then give her the chance to.
Be your own man
Build up a life of your own. Do fun things, and live life. If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first. Make yourself a more valuable man.
Develop an abundance mindset. You get this mindset by actually becoming a man with real abundance. Meaning you have things to do more important than a woman texting you. Every man needs a purpose, something great to strive towards.
If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you. For girls you just met, don’t worry if this girl never texts you first. Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about. Find other girls to date. Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options. Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.