She Never Texts First… what this means and how to get her to text you

She never texts first

She never texts first, and you’re starting to wonder if this means anything.  Well it does.  It means you like her more than she likes you.  It means that you’re pursuing her and she’s not pursuing you.

It doesn’t matter whether she’s your girlfriend, or a girl you just started dating.  If she never texts first then she’s not as invested as you are.

Lower interest

women low interest texting

When she never texts first it means she has lower interest than you.  Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean she has no interest.  After all, if it’s a girl you’re dating or even your girlfriend then she has some interest in you.  It may even be at a decent level.

But she still knows that you’ll text her first and you always do.  You’re in the weaker position.  It may seem like a small thing, but it’s a sign of the bigger issue.

You care more than her.  And therefore she has more power than you.  Which means the relationship you do have with her is headed in the wrong direction.  And if she’s a girl you’re just dating ,then you’re also headed in the wrong direction and killing your chances with her.

But she’s enthusiastic when I text her!

I get this a lot from guys.  They tell me she never texts first but always replies.  The girl still acts excited when they text her.

So she likes when you text her.  So what.  I mean, that’s much better than short texts or ignoring you. It could be a lot worse.  But she never texts first so you’re still in the bad position.  She may be happy when you text her and respond well.  However you’re still constantly chasing her.  You’re giving her your validation by always being the one to message her first.

Women need constant validation and attention.  So when you give it to her, this particular girl is being smart by being enthusiastic.  If she ignored you or was short in her responses then she’d lose your attention and another source of validation for her.

But if your girlfriend never texts first, then that’s a bad very sign.

What to do

habits for success - analyzing yourself

It doesn’t matter what your goal is.  Whether it’s to date her, marry he,  or get a girl you’re seeing to get more into you.  Or to even get your girlfriend to show you more respect or hit you up.  You need to take back control of the relationship between you two.

Because right now you’re being needy.  Texting a person first every time is a weak behavior and clearly shows that you need her more than she needs you.

And if you want to be the alpha male in this relationship, whether it’s casual, serious, or anything, then you need to do one thing.

You can text her first sometimes.  But if she’s never texting you first, then you need to stop.

Stop texting her first

stop texting her first

You need to stop texting her first.  She never texts first because you don’t give her a chance to.  And then she gets in the habit of getting texts from you all the time.

It’s not bad to text her first sometimes, but that’s in a different situation.  Right now, you’re the needy guy who’s always messaging her first to hang out or check in.  Instead you need to get her to chase you.  Which means stop texting her first.

If you’re sending her a

  • good morning
  • good night
  • how are you doing
  • how’s your day
  • hey there

Or whatever type of texts, cut it off.  She’s not texting you first because she always gets the texts from you.  Instead, get on your purpose.  Focus on building your business and chase the cash not ass.  If she was texting you first sometimes then yes you can also hit her up.  But if she’s never taking initiative, then you need to back off.

  • If she’s your girlfriend it might take her a day or two.
  • If it’s just some girl you’re dating it might take her a week or a few weeks.

But it doesn’t matter, because she should eventually text you first if she has any real interest.

What if she never texts me first?

That just might happen.  If the girl never texts you first ever, then she doesn’t have any interest in you.  A girl you’re seriously dating should definitely text you first eventually.  A girl you’re seeing dating should give you a text soon as well.  It might take her longer, but if you’re having a good time when you’re together, she’ll hit your phone up one of these days.

The girl that will take the longest is the girl you haven’t really dated yet.   You either haven’t tried to get her to come over or she’s using you for attention right now.  She might have some interest but it’s not enough to take you seriously.

Stop responding right away

man looking at phone

Another thing is to stop responding right away.  When she finally texts you first you can’t be blowing up her phone and be on her time.  Make her wait sometimes.

I tell you guys to be actually busy so you don’t have to plan out when you’ll text her back.  Like if you’re grinding at work or working on building your wealth with your own business.  Then you won’t have time to text her back right away.  Because financial freedom is your #1 priority not this girl or any specific girl.

But switch things up.

The point is that you’re actually busy so you don’t have time to text these girls back after few minutes.  If you do that then she’ll get bored of you again because you’re always available.

Woman want a man who has higher value than herself.  A high value man isn’t texting back every girl he talks to right away.  He’s simply too busy to have texting buddies he hits back every 10 minutes.

Sign of a bigger issue

If she never texts first then it’s a small sign of a bigger issue.  And that issue is that you care more than her.  You’re not giving this girl enough space to text you first.  You either like talking to her too much or need the constant validation from her acknowledging you.

That’s no way for a man to live.

You need to reverse the roles and become the alpha in this relationship, whatever kind of relationship it is.  Whether this is your girlfriend or just a girl you started to date.  If you’re the beta then you need her.  And you’ll likely develop a bad case on oneitis for her.  But if you’re the alpha then you’re leading in a calm, non desperate way.  Then you give her a chance to like you.

Right now you need to slow down.  You’re trying to force things by always texting her first.  Step back.

Stop texting her first.

Show that you’re able to go without talking to her and you don’t need her.  If she has any sizable interest in you then she’ll come around and text you first.  When she does don’t be a needy nice guy and blow up her phone. Take your time.  Text her back a few times within a day and keep her wanting your attention.

Let her text you

woman happy texting man

If you give away your attention so easily then it becomes worthless.  But if you make it valuable and make her want you, then she’ll start to pursue you.  Which is an amazing feeling.  You’ll start to see her gives off more signs that she’s really into you.

Combine that with acting like a man, leading the relationship, and the roles can reverse.  If she never texts first then give her the chance to.

Be your own man

Build up a life of your own.  Do fun things, and live life.  If she never texts you first then you need to make yourself the guy she wants to text first.  Make yourself a more valuable man.

Develop an abundance mindset.  You get this mindset by actually becoming a man with real abundance.  Meaning you have things to do more important than a woman texting you.  Every man needs a purpose, something great to strive towards.

If your girlfriend never texts first then she’ll see you stepping away and she’ll try to chase you.  For girls you just met, don’t worry if this girl never texts you first.  Talk to more of them and have a busy life so you won’t even think about.  Find other girls to date.  Most the questions I get about her never texting first comes down to options.  Give yourself more options, whether it be dating other girls or just being actually busy, and you’ll see more girls start to text you first.

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Ahmed
Ahmed
1 year ago

So okay i won’t talk to her, she’s in my snapchat should i let her see my stories
Or won’t let her see anything about me just disappear untill she text me first?

Ahmed
Ahmed
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Man i swear liked your short answer you are the best.

Thank you for reaching my email too.

Jason
Jason
1 year ago

Sooo, there’s this girl I like at uni.. It started by eye contact. When I look at her I sometimes find her looking at me too. few days later I add her on fb and she accepts. Next day I text her and talked abt uni and life.. was normal. I kept on always texting her 1st. sometimes she does text first. The most recent was 3 days ago after we were done with an exam.. She texted me right after we finished and asked me to come see her (at campus).. So I go and we talked face to… Read more »

random dude
random dude
Reply to  Jason
6 months ago

she just considers u as time passer…… to kill her time…… she knows that u had crush on her but she ignoress it and and wanna test you. even she test you and succeed but she will not love u as u imagined unless u r a top ranker in class, has some rich family. ….. dont fall in pits buddy. uniiversity love is love inm clouds….once sunlight breaks all the clouds breaks off and u will fall down on ground with broken bones……. never ever fall for girls witty mentality.

Bob
Bob
1 year ago

Sorry for long msg, but if someone could read/possibly help out, that would be amazing. So, I’ve known her for about 2 years. She knows I liked her and wanted to talk to her, at least at the time. Ever since August, I’ve texted her a lot less in hopes that she’d text me first. Only once sometime in December (this was before I found this site) when she did msg me first, I was so excited, but kept my cool and responded to her about an hour later. Well, we texted here and there since, and I’ve noticed it’s… Read more »

I am thirsty
I am thirsty
Reply to  Rebellious Development
2 months ago

I think he’s 18 or 17

Wesley
Wesley
1 year ago

Ight so i think she doesn’t like me but people tell me to just keep trying and swallow my pride but please tell it to me straight. at one point this female would text me first not all the time but I would get a text every once in a while. After a while I stopped texting her and we hadn’t spoken in months but now every month or so I’ll text her we’ll have a good conversation especially recently she will reply back with a paragraph or send 3 or 4 messages back to one of my text and… Read more »

Wesley
Wesley
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Thanks for the reply that never even crossed my mine and i see what you mean so fall back on the messages try something in person if not take my business elsewhere?

random dude2
random dude2
Reply to  Wesley
6 months ago

shes just texting u whenever she felt no one around her is with her…shes just trying to kil time with u …. u r the last boiii she comes when she felts bored……dont fall in pits buddy….. end of the day girls reach for successful man…or high earner compared to her…….. never ever try to fall for the girl u mentioned…. shes reaching u only when shee has no one talking or chatinng….its ur time waste and endof the day u will get hurt emotinally and mentally….dont fall in trap boyy..

TDM
TDM
1 year ago

This was a very contemporary subject for me. Rebel Jay’s article really covered in detail the exact situation and resulting issues and feelings that I’ve been dealing with. I’ve initiated 90% of the texts with a woman I’m currently interested in. Once in a while she throws me a bone and sends one out. And She always excitedly responds and does so soon after when I text her. She’s shy and kinda awkward around people. But the proof is in the pudding. She still rarely contacts me. That’s what it come downs too. And no matter how much I gloss… Read more »

TDM
TDM
Reply to  TDM
1 year ago

And I guess I should provide some more context. I worked with her for 5 months. And I’ve known her for close to a decade. But not known her beyond the usual informal greetings at family gatherings. Or at work. She’s also my brothers sister in law. Yeah. There’s a bunch of backstory there that would affect any possibility of striking up any type of romantic relationship with this woman. So I did accept, begrudgingly to check on her pets. I felt kinda obliged because I’m going to be seeing this woman on a semi regular basis no matter what… Read more »

TDM
TDM
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Thanks for the advice man. Much appreciated. I guess in the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t an ideal situation. I just kept ignoring it. And having buddies constantly tell me what I wanted to hear, like “keep pursuing her.” And “Try to get her in the sack” only made things worse. It’s good to hear some common sense advice; it’s helps with the decision to wash my hands of the whole situation. Thanks again.

James
1 year ago

So with this girl we live in different countries but she is coming easily with a bus ,we met through a friend,she liked me from pictures and she came in the town where the friend and I studied to party so we can meet get to know each other etc. She did that couple of times, so we end up having a relation where we were kissing having sex sleep together whenever she was coming to town .But when she was away from town we needed to text each other in the beginning I wasthe guy who was texting first… Read more »

James
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

The issue is that I really enjoy her personality and time with her , so I want to speak with her almost everyday ,but I know I shouldn’t get deep emotions,what to do in that issue? ,what if without speaking someone alse will get her attention.

Alex
Alex
1 year ago

Ok so shes my girlfriend and ill stop texting her until she texts first but what do i say when she ask why i havent text her or if theres something wrong ?

Jay
Jay
1 year ago

SO i just started dating this girl a little over week ago. We met through family friends. How we got started was i texted her asking if she wanted to hang out and she said yes and we went on a date, then i didnt text her for a whole week after, that following saturday she texted me asking to meet up and hang out and we did and we hit it off and started dating. Well now back to the present she barely likes to text i always have to text her first and ifi dont shell go the… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Hey Jay thanks for replying. You said above i need to drive the initiative to hang out until i sleep with her, thing is we’ve already had sex a few times since we started dating. In person shes great she shows affection and is talkative and all that. But even after all that im still the one that has to make plans to see each other and text her first,that hasn’t changed. Should i just step back and not make any more plans with her or text her until hopefully shes takes the initiative to hang out together?

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Ill try that thanks so much for your help.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Hey man so your advice did work, i stopped texting her and though it took her the entire day to send me a message she did message me first after she got off work asking me how i was and all that. Another thing that is bothering me is that she isnt very affectionate with me. She doesnt really express her feelings, like sometimes she calls me by my name and she doesnt really hug or kiss me much i have to initiate physical contact most of the time. Should i be worried about this? Or should i give it… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Yeah you are right, its just that so far i guess ive been lucky and every girlfriend ive had has always been super affectionate towards me from the start, you know texting me all day, very touchy feely, pet names all that. And since this girl is quite the opposite of that im not used to it and im just not sure exactly how to act so that hopefully as the relationship matures shell start showing more attention and interest towards me and reach out more.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Once i stopped texting her first like you recommended she did start texting me first, but she only does so later at night not during the day, even though shes on her phone texting her friends all day long. Is that something i should worry about? I dont want to tell her to text me during the day too cause i don’t want to seem clingy.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Another thing is we been sleeping and waking up together every single day since we started dating shes cool with it and even insisted on it cause she said in her previous relationships she was used to seeing and sleeping with her ex’s every day.Im assuming long term this can be a bad thing since it will lead to the relationship becoming dull and boring. Should i put a stop to this and if so whats the best way of going about it? Also when we are together we have great sex and all but the rest of the time… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

So in an unexpected turn of events she opened up about what she feels and what she wants from me in the relationship and the best thing is she brought it up all on her own in casual conversation, i didn’t have to push for it. So she told me that she isn’t into the lovey dovey stuff and doesn’t really like romantic guys, she said her personality is naturally kinda cold and distant and that even in her long time relationships that lasted years she was like that, that it didn’t mean that she didn’t fall in love she… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 year ago

Thanks for all your advice. Hopefully things get better from now on.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
11 months ago

So back again, its been over a month now since we started dating. And there’s more issues. Some days everything is great shes super affectionate and all over me, but others she just acts like she barely even care’s about the relationship. I cant really be myself or be completely comfortable around her and its exhausting having to act a certain way when im with her everyday. Also when we have sex lately it just seems like she pretty much just does it i guess to please me, not because she really wants to have sex; We go like 3… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
11 months ago

Yeah you are right im too busy worrying about making her happy so the relationship works out. But in the end people are gonna do what they are gonna do no matter what, so im just gonna focus on myself more and bring some balance to the relationship.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
10 months ago

Hey i need your advice once again. So ive been doing what you told me and shes pretty affectionate with me and things are going well except for one thing that’s been bothering me for a while;This started about a month and a half ago when i took the only picture we have together for the entire 3 months we been dating and that’s only because i insisted on it and took it with my phone, at the time it seemed weird that she didn’t want a picture of us together and she just said she doesn’t really like taking… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
10 months ago

Thanks for your reply i really appreciate it im not gonna bring it up or anything. If she turns around on this then great if not then ill just have to live with it. Another thing is my gf and her single friend sometimes go out together usually to see a movie or to eat or shopping i dont say anything about it cause thats just normal girl stuff and she has the right to hang out with her friends, but now her friend wants her to go clubbing with her just the two of them alone. Is not that… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
10 months ago

Every other time shes told me shes going out with her friends to a movie or out to dinner or any other place my instant reply is have fun. But we havent established anything about her going out clubbing with her single friends because since we started dating 3 months ago she hasnt gone clubbing with them, this is the first time, but even if we did, ive seen them get drunk before and their judgment goes out the window. If she didnt drink then i wouldnt have an issue with this at all. But they love to drink and… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
10 months ago

Yeah you are right man this would be the perfect chance to find out if shes faithful or not, Since this is the first time shes going clubbing with her friends alone since we started dating i guess ill just talk to her and let her know that its cool if she goes clubbing, just be mindful that shes not single and act accordingly. If nothing happens then good i know can trust her and the relationship is good. And if she does end up doing something bad and i find out then i guess shell be doing me a… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Hey man back again. So my gf started College again last week and ive noticed that she’s been getting messages on her social media that she wasn’t getting before, im not sure if they are from guys or not, but a guy that’s on her Instagram friends list did send her a text message with just his name im assuming so she could save his number. Im not sure if she is replying to them or not because i can only see the notifications on her phone. When im in a relationship i respect the person im with and i… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Yeah man i feel you, weird thing is though that like her attitude towards me in person is great though like shes still affectionate and everything. Usually if a girl is into someone else they start to pull away and become cold and distant, but that hasn’t really been the case. And i still sleep over her house every night. That’s why im kinda confused. And i mean shes not hiding her phone or anything she leaves in front of me that’s how i saw the notifications. And that text message i mentioned before that was 2 days ago well… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

I do feel like maybe im too available and thats made her too comfortable with me and that could cause her to get bored. On the other hand if i dont text her all day and it starts getting late into the night she will text me asking me to come over. If i become less available it could have a positive effect of her missing me and chase me more. But it could also backfire and it can make her think that i just dont care about her and it could push her away from me and towards someone… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Hey man back again in need of your advice. So its been 5 months now since we started dating. Things are pretty good shes very affectionate and things are mostly doing great except for one thing at the beginning we would have sex almost every day but now its only a couple of times a week at most sometimes only once a week. This has been bothering me and i talked to her about it last night and she told me its because shes tired at night, but to me that doesn’t make sense because how come at the beginning… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Hey man so yeah last night we did have great make up sex. I didnt read your message beforehand so i was a bit apologetic and i told her i just wasn’t in the mood but that i do enjoy the sex with her. Also i did tell her that this sex once a week thing just wasn’t gonna cut it cause as a guy i like doing it more often. Idk if saying that to her was a mistake, its just that i dont like playing mind games and have the other person confused trying to figure out whats… Read more »

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

We had sex last night too which is good i guess what i said to her might have worked. Right now i sleep over at her place every night and if for some reason its late and i don’t come over she’ll text me asking when ill come over. Like i mentioned before she is very pretty so she has alot of guys after her, my only concern is if i become less available and run dread,instead of making her want to be with me more shell seek attention from another guy instead.

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Im gonna try that to see what happens. Also the texting situation hasnt changed she still doesnt text me during the day it might be because she knows she will see me at night. She doesnt really text anyone else except her best friend and even then she ignores her friend for hours sometimes. Idk what to make of that, cause i know for a fact in previous relationships she used to text alot. Should i just ignore it and accept the fact that with me is different?

Jay
Jay
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Hey man so last night my gf, her best friend and i went out to a club and my gf’s ex that has been trying to get back with her was there with a group of his friends. After a couple of hours one of his friends that used to date my girl’s best friend came up to my gf’s friend and started talking to her and got her number and all that and told her they should all hang out. I overheard when the guy was telling her that and my gf said not to worry about it that… Read more »

Akash Chandel
Akash Chandel
1 year ago

I have met a russian girl on tanden, now she has given me her vk and we chat on vk(russian app) but the problem is that i always message her first , we had video calls for continuously 4 days and we are still chatting, i think i should keep messaging her for atleast 2 weeks and then stop it so that she become more familiar with me , i love her but we have just met and i do not know her feelings. I seriously live her. what should i do next ,keep in messaging her for next 2… Read more »

Mike
Mike
1 year ago

Hey man, there is this girl that I’m really into but I don’t have the courage to talk to her so what I do is I just text her. I’m always text her and she always replies back but I suddenly realized that if she is into me she should atleast sometimes initiate the conversation first. What should I do? I’m so confused

Daisy
Daisy
11 months ago

Wtf don’t wait to text her back. I stopped texting my bf first cause i got sick of having to wait for a reply

Billy
Billy
10 months ago

Okay I met this girl through a friend, she doesn’t live in the same state as me. So while she was here for a few weeks we would hangout, go somewhere, kiss, have sex. She would message me to come hangout or I would message her to hangout and we would go and she seemed excited to be with me she stayed at my place a couple times while see was her. I like her and she said she liked me. well ever since she went back home, I’ve been the only one to start the conversation she never started… Read more »

Matthew
Matthew
10 months ago

So i met this cute girl with anxiety on dating site, blank profile, got texting and to know each other a bit, then talked over text, ended up sexting, met up for a cute date, hit it off big time, went back to mine for fun. Felt like kindred spirits. Since then I arranged to meet her this weekend to hangout and play games, she was hesitant and took a day to respond, texted on and off that week. Generally I was always the one to initiate texting, but she would reply with a lot of text and seem excited.… Read more »

Dan
Dan
10 months ago

Hello Rebel, so I met this chick 6 months ago and from the onset, I told her I wanted to date her and she said she didn’t want anything serious. So I kept pushing, hoping I could change her mind until she told me she was in a long distance relationship, so I kinda slowed down but she already knew I had developed feelings for her, I took her on dates and they went quite well, invited her back to my place and I froze, I couldn’t make a move on her and she didn’t sleep over. All these while,… Read more »

Dan
Dan
Reply to  Rebellious Development
10 months ago

Thanks Jay, so 2 days ago I was at the mall picking some things and I heard someone call my name, I looked back and it was the same chick I had oneitis for, I walked up to her and we exchange pleasantries. She asked how I was doing, I said fine. But I didn’t bring up the issue of her not picking her calls. She had some more shopping to do so we parted ways. Is it good that I didn’t bring it up? I still haven’t contacted her or thought about it even after seeing her at the… Read more »

Dan
Dan
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

I appreciate bro, you were most vital to my recovery.

Vimal kumar
Vimal kumar
9 months ago

Hi man ok I think u should help me So she joined our tution and so I talked to her in insta and we get to know each other and I was the one who starts first but she used to speak with me more enthusiast and as usual I start the conversation and so I sent her a message and nxt day mrng see replied “GM” and I saw that msg and didn’t reply instead I had my sad story posts in my insta story and she even saw my 3 sad post(sad quotes) in my story but she… Read more »

Nick Siragusa
Nick Siragusa
9 months ago

So we’ve been talking for about 2 months now and all of a sudden she stopped responding to me and it became to a point where she took a whole day to text back when she would usually text me all day. Now I have been showing the signs that you listed and wasn’t letting her text me first or show care in the relationship but for the past 3 days I have no answered her last text and only sent a few snaps back and forth but I also want this relationship to last. Also she did mention she’s… Read more »

John
John
9 months ago

Hi
There is a girl I met a few months ago. I always text her first. The last time we had a text conversation was around a month ago. What’s right to do now?
Thanks.

John
John
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

But she sent to me a live picture of her to me on snapchat, but she didn’t send that to me only.
Do I take this as she is trying to initiate something? Or should I move on?
Thanks.

John
John
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

But she once sent me a snapchat. The problem is that she sent it to few others in her snapchat list aswell. Do I take it as she was trying to initiate a conversation?
Thanks

Cody
Cody
9 months ago

Hi Jay, I met this girl 8 weeks ago at a local coffee shop I always go in the morning, she was a bit shy and just started her business, I found that we have similar interests, so we exchanged IG to continue. We have hung out 3 times over the course of 4 weeks, we hold hands, made out and got really physical on the 3rd date, but no sex yet. I was hoping to meet her for the fourth time 3 weeks ago, however, since our schedules did not work, then she went home for Thanksgiving, last time… Read more »

Cody
Cody
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Hi Jay,

Thanks for the message and advice.

So this would probably takes a while to warm her up to the point to where we were 3 wks ago. I wonder how would you approach that? Since at the coffee shop I can not be physical or super flirty in the morning, what would be the ideal way to proceed?

Thanks again,

Cody
Cody
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Thanks for the advice. I never get to chance to go to the coffee shop yet, due to the schedule doesn’t work. However, she did text me a couple of weeks ago and reinitiate conversations over text. We had both set up a date for today afternoon, as I confirmed with her this morning, she cancelled it because she was sick and had errands to run, then I told her no problems, will chat next time. She then texted back said we’ll get together, just not today without counter offer. What’s your suggestion in this situation? Should I wait for… Read more »

Cody
Cody
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Hi Jay,

I appreciate your message.

Definitely learned from the lesson here. So just to confirm what you said, next time around, DO NOT text girl to confirm date?

If so, what happen if you have already made plans, such as reservations or something? (If she doesn’t show up, so I don’t waste money on making reservation)

And Yes, in this case, I will let her chase at this point by not reaching out any more.

James
James
9 months ago

Hey Jay, so there’s this girl I’ve been talking to on a dating app. We really have a lot in common and we’ve been texting for the past 4 days with both jokes and deep convos. However, I always have to be the one to initiate or jokingly prompt her that its her turn to choose the next topic/question. She is really engaging though, ask really deep questions, answers with lengthy detailed responses and opens up a lot about herself. I personally felt that I knew her pretty well at this point so I brought up meeting in person for… Read more »

Uko
Uko
9 months ago

Thanks for the article! It really helped. But the thing is that I have been dating this girl for about two weeks now. Always we only get to text each other properly around 9pm-01am otherwise, When I try to text her at midday (we primarily use WhatsApp) she leaves and and replies when I leave. What’s wrong? Please give me the cold hard truth.

Uko
Uko
Reply to  Rebellious Development
9 months ago

Thank you so much.but she also doesn’t initiate the conversations because most of the time our conversations end abruptly and we just pick up from were we left off. Is this good or bad? And mostly I skip a day or two before texting her just to show I have a life of my own.

Jon
Jon
9 months ago

Watch the reddit nice guys videos on YouTube. This should be a lesson on why over texting a girl is a bad idea. Those guys get angry and frustrated if a girl does not respond quickly or ever.Those videos have helped me to text girls less and talk to them in person. Girls are less likely to hide and pull avoidance tactics in person. I am getting too old to waiting for a girl to communicate first since girls still play the “women are passive, men make must the first move” card. I got a busy life to do than… Read more »

Abdul
Abdul
8 months ago

It’s been a week I haven’t texted her first.. but iam pretty much sure that she will wish me on my birthday as she views my stories..
In this case should I reply her or ignore?

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Thanks for the reply rebel!
No she is just a girl I like she knows that I like her ..
But Everytime I try to Meetup she says yes but never meet .. gives n no of excuses so I stopped chasing her.but she views my Instagram stories and it’s very likely that she will wish me on my birthday .as IAM on no contact with her should I reply if she wishes me on my birthday??
Sorry for the long msg

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Thank you so much rebel!
I’ll put everything you said into practice IAM just amazed by the efforts you put in for helping .
One small doubt since IAM not going to text her anymore.. what if she even never text me first or try to meet up?

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

By mistake

Andy
Andy
8 months ago

Hey rebel. I’ve been talking to this girl over text for a couple days and I thought all was going well, I initiated the conversation twice and she initiated it once. (We’ve never met in person, I added her on facebook). Towards the end of out last conversation her texts where starting to become dry so I told her “I’ll let You go you probably gotta wake up early for work tommorow”. Now it’s been just over a week since we last texted because I wanted to see if she would text me first, and she didn’t. I’m still friends… Read more »

Andy
Andy
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Thanks for the reply, and I’m open to criticism because I’m not to good with talking to girls hahaha. Earlier that day I told her I was going to be busy with my friends that night, and when she was texting me throughout the evening I was taking a while to reply and she was being dry. Do You think it came out as if I was but hurt if she knew I was busy? Also I found it pretty weird that she’s stopped posting selfies on her story a few days after we stopped talking – just thought I… Read more »

Phillip Taylor
Phillip Taylor
8 months ago

So there’s girl I like and I’m pretty sure she likes me to. We met at this job interview thing about a month ago and I haven’t met with her since. We got along really well each other and I felt we had something going on. We haven’t gone on any dates or anything yet because she’s always busy. What should I do?

Phillip Taylor
Phillip Taylor
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Alright thanks bro I’ll be sure to try this

Abdul
Abdul
8 months ago

Hello Rebel! I would like to thank you for giving such amazing tips and help.. yes I went no contact for more than 2 weeks .. after that I replied to her stories I don’t know but I could feel that she is doing it purposely to get my attention so that I could text her.. so I did replied her and asap ask her to meet up . I told her this weekend we should meet no more excuses.. Saturday or Sunday evening place you decide. To this she replied ok done done. Now my doubt as she agreed… Read more »

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

No I just told her this weekend we should meet..
Me myself suggested sat or Sunday Evening and told her to decide a place to meet up. Do which she just acknowledged by saying Done done! Nothing else.
So should I remind her again to Meetup or ask where are we meeting.. or wait for her to reach out

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Thanks rebel!
Yeah I just confirmed a day before ..
I just asked tomorrow we are meeting at what time so that I can plan accordingly.. because I didn’t wanted my Sunday to be pending state because of her
She replied in the evening.. I’ll meet
I said cool see you then.

Whole Sunday I did nothing no texting or confirming as I was expecting her to reach out but she didn’t..

I think IAM rushing the things or she is just not interested..

Time to go no contact

Any suggestions from your side how to tackle this?

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

I totally agree with you rebel! . But if the meeting place and time was uncertain she could have asked or confirmed it if she was interested.. but she didn’t. And yeah I suggested her the time and told her to decide a place which is not right .. but was not a big deal . IAM confused by her flaky behavior upon confirming a day before she said yes but didn’t show up.. This shit happened for the 5th time.. My birthday is tomorrow and IAM not going to f…in reply her.. Now what I think is the best… Read more »

Abdul
Abdul
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Thanks again rebel! I would say though iam making mistake but with every mistake iam learning.. Since it’s was almost for the 6th time we couldn’t meet up .. IAM thinking to ask her out again but this Time I’ll make solid plans and tell her.. Should I make a move or let her reach out to me.. Since i all ready told her that next time I’ll plan something and let you know she said ok . and smarty made am excuse that I couldn’t meet last Sunday due to work.. I don’t know but iam confident enough to… Read more »

Raman
Raman
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Hey . I’m really confused about this girl . I met this girl 1month ago and we shared a lot of emotional talks and funny talks . Just a week ago I dated her and she really enjoyed that !! Now sometime I text her and sometime she texts me . But I think she just talk to me in her free time and just want attention. She didn’t even message me for past 2 days ! I like her but don’t want to be needy ! What should i do ! She know that I like her ..

Spring
Spring
8 months ago

Hi, ummm….. what if I’m a girl and just trying to find out why my friends don’t text me first?? Can I still use your method on them?

Spring
Spring
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Hi Rebel!
When you said “ stop being desperate for the friendship” I just realised that I need to start valuing myself more…
Thanks for the reply!

Quy Nhon
Quy Nhon
8 months ago

Hi There Very good post and helps many I’m sure. My situation is a long distance relationship and when we meet ( I’m the guy ) we have had an extremely good time, physically and mentally, btw a tad older than your followers ( but still mixed up ) We text a lot about everything, but yes mostly me, I always start with the Good morning darling and other words ( cos of the time difference I wake up when her day is afternoon. She always texts back but noticeably lesser feelings…. me “ Good morning gorgeous x “ her… Read more »

youngpreacho
youngpreacho
8 months ago

Hey J, so i’ve just recently started seeing this new girl. We went out on our first date two weeks ago. Good vibes, a little kino here and there, but nothing too sexual. We had our second date this Wednesday because she spent last week away for work. We made out in the restaurant all throughout the date; in some instances she even forgot what we were talking about before the kisses. That’s all that happened that night because we went our separate ways afterwards. We both had other plans with our friends. She was very receptive the entire second… Read more »

youngpreacho
youngpreacho
Reply to  Rebellious Development
8 months ago

Hey J, thanks for getting back at me. We split the bill on our last date. I should’ve mentioned that I’m not from the US, so when I said restaurant I meant a place where we just ordered a drink each and some sushi rolls to share. One thing I forgot to mention, which may or may not give you useful info: Her birthday was last Monday. I used that as an excuse to wish her a good one and ask her out for our second date, which was on Wednesday that same week. During the date she mentioned that… Read more »

Ricky
Ricky
8 months ago

Good stuff. Quick question, I met this girl out and about and got her number. I was very good about setting up 1st and 2nd date with very little conversation via text. Even when she got sick and went dark on me, I waited and eventually she followed up. Both dates went well and went back to her place for some tonsil hockey. The following day I went out of town for the holidays and international vacation on the frontend. Anyway, about a week later I reached out to set up the 3rd date to get it on the books… Read more »

MARTIN
MARTIN
8 months ago

Hello rebel!
There a girl I like and she knows me IAM not a stranger for her. The Problem is she never meetup and give reasons doesn’t even say no.. but keeps on flaking.
Recently I tried once again asked her to Meetup she replied
ILL INFORM ONCE ILL LEAVE FROM HER IAM IN A MEETING.. it was Sunday..
So I asked meeting on Sunday ??
She said it’s unofficial
..after that I was expecting that she will inform me but she didn’t what should I do??

Noname
Noname
7 months ago

Hi there. I‘ve been dating this girl six weeks now, one week ago she came to my house and I talked to her about my feelings , that I see her in a serious way and what’s her thought on that. She replied the same, had a nice but the same fucking teasing night without letting me going for more and next day she asked if I was pissed that we didn’t do anything. I told her I was not pissed about that, but for the fact that she thinks that I want her only for that. She liked my… Read more »

Noname
Noname
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Rebel, bro, I think you got me wrong! What I said to her I really meant it. I really see her as a girlfriend material and she also confessed she wants to commit seriously. My problem is, when we meet in person she is playing too much and hard to get although I know she wants to have sex. I already told her, I don’t have a problem waiting for you till you feel like it but don’t tease me no more. It’s not all about either fucking the girl quick or move on to another! That’s my point. I… Read more »

Noname
Noname
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

I really pressed her today to tell me the truth coz she started again with the teasing and shit! She confessed she is a virgin so I guess I can get it now why the fuck this behavior

Noname
Noname
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Thank you a lot, you really helped!

Matthew Mortimer
Matthew Mortimer
7 months ago

I speak to this one girl and we are friends but I don’t want to date any girl now but I want her in the future cause she is so sexy and gorgeous and nice to talk to but she parties a lot and she also never messages me first like I want her to think let me message him I Amat yo speak to him sort of thing but it won’t happen and I don’t know what to do
Please reply I would really appreciate it
Please send me a email of your reply

Matthew Mortimer
Matthew Mortimer
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

If I am good friends with her for a long time does that mean it is possible to have something in the future
Like all I wear are friends now so it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t like me or interested but if we are mates for a while is it possible for us to work later on

John
John
7 months ago

So I got this girl I am dating her I initiated contact 3 days in a row after that I haven’t it’s now 3 days I havnt texted her and she hasn’t either. We have a date in 2 weeks and I am thinking about not texting her first till then. What do you think ?

Akash
Akash
7 months ago

Hello rebel!
Well I think you are right the more you chase the more she will pull away.
I what to know what is considered as a girl flaking
Do girl flake if don’t suggest her place to Meetup?

Tony T
Tony T
7 months ago

Hi I reached out to this girl on facebook. Had a nice chat with her on facebook and decide to ask her out for a cup of coffee. The first day was great of course and i felt a strong connection with her. I say this because we made eye contact, the conversation had no awkward pauses, we made lots of jokes and we were sitting very close to each other as well. We hang out for 6 hours on that day. After that she did say that we should hangout again. Because the first hang out was great, the… Read more »

Tony T
Tony T
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Thanks for replying back. I forget to mention that there are time where she would send gif and meme to me and we would react to it in the funniest way possible. But i guess this is normal behaviour for most people. There was also time where this girl was asking for my zodiac sign and ask me if i can do a love personality test with her on her phone. Basically she did like my zodiac sign and my love personality test result was similar to hers. Perhaps these were subtle signs but do you believe that she curious/interested… Read more »

Tony T
Tony T
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Thanks for the reply Today she texted me on her own and ask me what i was doing. Basically said i was at the gym and had plans with family later. She did seem a bit down because she wanted me to go shopping with her today. I did reply back to her that i am free tmr but she has yet to reply back. At this point i am not over text and just waiting patiencely for her reply. Some people, especially from a girls opinion, said that shopping with a girl is a big hint that she like… Read more »

James
James
7 months ago

so i was texting this girl on instagram and we hit it off immediately so we went out and we fucked on the first link , after the second time we fucked about two days after she started making excuses about facetiming each other , which was kinda weird because she said i was the best she ever had but she got mad that i didnt bust inside of her and she stop texting first so i made two mistakes with continuing to ask her too facetime and i started texting first but after that i started being dry and… Read more »

James
James
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Apparently shes on birth control but she also has a kid and today i went to the park to play basketball and the park just happens to be by her house so i posted it and but anyway she texted me asking me if i was near her house and i told her i left about an hour ago and she said ok never mind so i didnt text her for 3 hours then i texted her back saying hey and she said hi and so i told her pretty much told her i stopped talking to her to think… Read more »

Walt
Walt
7 months ago

She’s a lot younger than I am but we had a class together at our college. She would go a few days with out texting and is text her first then she’s hit me with the I just saw this etc…we did go to the movies and I did ask her if she wanted to hang agin and she said yea. It took her almost half a day to text me from the day before. Should I just never text her first then?

Walt
Walt
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Yea that’s what I thought of doing. Instead of going out just asking if she wanted to come chill at my place.

Rohit
Rohit
7 months ago

Hi rebel,
I did exactly as you explained in this blog I stopped texting her first..
It’s been almost 3 weeks now what I have noticed is thought she is not texting me first but she replies to my status with emojis
What should I do? Is she trying to get my attention?

Rohit
Rohit
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Thanks rebel,
Ok so I should wait and let her text me first.buy doing this will she think that IAM not interested? Or she is expecting me to text her first or to make the move
Is it necessary that girl will initiate if she is interested ??

Kyle
Kyle
7 months ago

I would personally like to talk to you through email

John
John
7 months ago

Hye, I spent a month with my unknown fellow and we met for the first time during training. We spent a good time, hanging out together all the time, sharing thoughts and I took good care of her. She told me she is interested in another boy back in her country so I realized the real story. She told me that I told to her friend that I am taking good care of her. We are back to work but in different cities not too far. I shared my thoughts for her, but she said she is not having the… Read more »

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Status report sauced her up we good she gon call the kid when she out the shower

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Yea appreciate she be tryna do these dumb shit tests and shit soon as I ignore her shit she automatically fixes her self

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

She saw my post on snap and responded with this Good job I know we not close like we used to be but I’m still proud of you keep it up She not like towards other people it’s hard asf to explain but u get the jist I’ve imprinted her I’ll let u know what she says but beside that I’ve gotten 101k monthly visitors on my pintrest I blew up bro Oh another thing after I got pied in the face she caught me in the hallway blushing hella hard saying hey we did a quick chop up then… Read more »

Ezo
Ezo
7 months ago

Yo so this one girl ain’t gonna go to much into detail but as we were Snapchatting she sent something private as my phone was dying I swipe up and directly presses the power save button exits my the power save button my iPhone screen just screen records then freezes then when I restarted my phone I try to explain to her the video never left the chat like I was dead ass ain’t even told nobody bro she texted fuck u I shout have trusted u but suprisely she ain’t block the kid she just then when I explained… Read more »

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

This what she texted back bro Don’t got nun against u cuz its my fault I shouldn’t have trusted u but it is wah it is I’ll say hi n bye n respect u we just not all buddy buddy See this the shit that pissed me off the first time n with ppl y when shit go south u gotta tell me wah u did for me my nigga n I said we not gone b all buddy buddy meaning not close like b4 cuz I don’t trust u u str8 up lying to me n all like y… Read more »

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

Nah she done got jealous when she seen other females coworkers talking to the kid she can’t get over the kid she be trying to find my personality in other niggas she was just copying everything I do she still got the whole chat saved didn’t even block the kid at all but I know wassa my big bro told me the same shit to trust me bro from a jitty been knew how to deal with these hoes Oh yea bro if u can how can it get a notification when u answers the question and check out my… Read more »

EZO
EZO
Reply to  Rebellious Development
7 months ago

I see what u talking bout to no one even accused her of saying she on go these females be snitching on them Selves bro unknowingly like one time she texted I can get drunk around y’all I be wilding I just say 1 mean bet she started to copy the kid from how I talk I imprinted her bro like I’m a trance type shit she just cant get over the kid like she not a stalker or obsessive or anything but when she see the kid she get moyen mean wet in kreyol from a jit been outchea… Read more »

EZO
EZO
Reply to  EZO
7 months ago

Speaking of she snap chatted the kid her cooking and shit I texted her how’s the cow blood on rice tasting it’s bussin imma fool dawg it’s actually steak sauce bro

Joe
Joe
7 months ago

Great article! I think i know the answer but curious in your advice. I went to brunch with this girl then to dinner another time and back to my place. We fucked, then in morning again but i was groggy. I went to a quick work meeting and told her I’m coming back to finish what i started. We fucked again and pretty sure she came. She then went back home for two weeks for holidays and got back on a Saturday night. I asked if she wanted to chill and she said let’s play it by ear sunday bc… Read more »

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Thanks for the response. It’s been two days and nothing but eye on the prize. I feel that at least she offered to hang out a different time vs saying she was busy and offering up nothing.

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

So after 4 days she texted saying she was jealous and to have a great trip! Nice to see me pulling back worked. I replied with something short. Recently got back from my trip. Should i reach out again and hang out with her?

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Hmmm yeah i hear you, thanks. It’s been a month since we kicked it given both on separate vacays. I felt a pulled back a ton, used to speak with her daily. There’s a cool store by her place, what if i asked her to do me a favor and grab something for me since it’s out of the way for me. Also, isn’t it any consolation that she at least offered to hang out before a left? I don’t know, i like playing hard to get but not sure if i wanted to push it so far.

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Ok I totally agree with that. Ive had other dates and hooked up but i def like her the best. I know she has interest but does have the upper hand like you said. Out of curiosity, if i wait til she finally texts me again…in your experience how long could that be? Weeks? We smashed, but i know i can put in a much better performance to where she’s craving it more than she currently is. That’s part of the reason i wanted to reach out again and make plans soon since I haven’t seen her in a month.

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

As always thanks! You were spot on. I ended up reaching out and inviting her over for dinner at my place. She made some wack excuse and bailed, then asked if i wanted to do brunch or something the next day. I responded with understood. I’m sure she’s banging someone else and cancelled. There was a moment I contemplated doing brunch and banging her again but then i realized I’m not valuing myself. She’s not good enough to play these games and get my d. Then she texted later saying sorry. I didn’t respond. Moving on but you were right,… Read more »

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Ok great. I’m kinda over it but more of look at it like a game now, it’s fun haha. I guess i should always be like this and not care.

That being said, I am surprised by your answer in waiting and few days and then reaching out. Initially i thought you wanted her to reach out to me and try to make plans…i guess she kinda did with brunch. Also, does it matter if i wait a week or two weeks? Does it look like a broke down if i randomly text her two weeks later for example? Thanks!

Joe
Joe
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

To give an update i waited a week and shot her a text to get convo going Saturday saying i was busy last week. Then a few days lter i asked her when she was around, she threw out wed/sat. She came over wed, i cooked, we banged a cpl times, she cleaned dishes. As i walked her home i gave her a kiss and said so i’ll see you in a month jokingly and she was like ohhh is that how we’re gonna do this. While she was over she was doing a lot of texting, was annoying but… Read more »

sameer
sameer
6 months ago

ok so i have this thing with this girl she likes me and i like her but she never got in a relationship not even close unlike me, the thing is that whenever i get close to going out with any girl i start losing feelings which made her worried and she told me that so i told her that if we get to the date that i wouldnt do that cuz shes special and i told her how much i like her which i feel is stupid move cuz the next day we were talking abt us and she… Read more »

sameer
sameer
Reply to  sameer
6 months ago

and shes not totally over the guy but shes getting over him and she said that shes gaining more feelings for me day by day

sameer
sameer
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

so what do u advice me to do abt it now

sameer
sameer
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

ok thanks

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
6 months ago

Hello if you help me i would be very grateful. There ‘s a girl I love. I was trying to be an alpha male. she constantly wanted to follow me on instagram. SHE would always texts me first Has stopped texting since January 9 It was hers birthday on January 16th. I CELEBRATED THE HER BIRTHDAY via DM. AND SHE REPLY ”THANK YOU” THEN I DON’T TEXT OTHER I’m sure SHE TEXTING WITH to other men And I never think of texting her again. Because she no longer texts me first and gives short text reply when I write her..… Read more »

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Thanks for your answer.
Of course I’m trying to be the winner. 🙂

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
6 months ago

Hello, rebel. There is one more thing , can you help me 🙂 I know helplessness, weakness. constantly texting a girl, always being suitable for her, always giving her time. turning girls off (I keep this in my mind) and i avoid this. Yeah maybe you’re right I shouldn’t fall in love with someone who isn’t even my girlfriend… I live my life and I’ve always shown it to my Instagram story and she saw it before, as you said. We’ve been talking for 7 months, I like her, I love her (she always texts me first) I believe she… Read more »

Jonnyh
Jonnyh
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

I lose her completely 🙁 i miss her already. 🙁

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
Reply to  Rebellious Development
6 months ago

Thank you MR rebel. i believe i’m already stronger. 🙂

God of War
God of War
6 months ago

meh. If she doesn’t text first or reply, no sweat off my sack. As long as the money comes first, that’s all that matter.

Alex
Alex
6 months ago

Girl & I have had chemistry for the 4 years we’ve known each other. She was in a relationship however, all 4 of those years (with the same guy). She has been recently single (Since November) and beaten up over it understandably. We ended up going out to dinner a couple weeks ago (to which I thought was just as friends) and at the end she said “thanks for the date”. We had an awesome time, lots of laughs. So, I asked for a second one and she said yes. Now she is coming up on the end of her… Read more »

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
6 months ago

Hello rebel again.. You said ”You fucked it up with her” And She has a new boyfriend. she’s been texting to me for two days
Why would she still texts me I really don’t get it :/ What should I do? Should I ignore her texts? or She Trying to make me jealous. :/

jonnyh27
jonnyh27
Reply to  Rebellious Development
5 months ago

thank you very much for your help.
you are very good <3 🙂
I blocked her. I'll move on. i think i deserve better

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