She Stopped Texting Me: What to do when a Girl Goes Cold Texting

She Stopped Texting Me: What to do when a Girl Goes Cold Texting

She stopped texting me and the conversation was going so well – wrote a gentleman.  Or so he thought.  One of the readers asked about when a girl goes cold texting, what can he do to regain her attention?

I get emails like this often.  I generally point them to the “She never texts first” article, as the overall approach is similar.

However, I realized that this can be a different issue for some of the guys and a new way to explain it.

You shouldn’t be surprised that my general advice is going to be to leave her alone.  If you did that every time a girl goes cold texting then less girls will go cold.

Can you prevent every girl from going cold over texting?  No.  Some girls will just go cold over texting.  That being said, while the dating game is a numbers game to a degree, it’s not overly so.  You can definitely decrease the amount of girls going cold over texting if you understand why this happens.

Why She Stopped Texting Me?

The reason doesn’t really matter if you just did what I said.  What you do next is the same.

But… understanding the reason why will help some of the confused guys actually listen to the advice.  Because if you don’t know why she stopped texting me, then you’re going to overthink things even more.  At least that’s what many of us do.  I know I used to overthink the dating game too much.

She stopped texting me because…

  1. Got too needy / weird
  2. Her interest wasn’t strong enough – didn’t like you enough to meet up, likes another guy, got busy, whatever.  She may of liked you but not enough.
  3. Attention Needer

All 3 of these reasons are common.

1. You got too needy

4 Texting Signs she doesn't like you

The first one is your fault.  She liked you but you texted her too often, responded too quickly every time, and over thought your responses.  In return, she got turned off by the vibe and your lack of confidence.  The girl goes cold texting in this case because you turned her off through your display of a lack of balls.

2. Interest wasn’t strong enough

The second reason is also common.  She stopped texting you because her interest simply wasn’t strong enough.  Yes, believe it or not, many girls will give out their numbers with no intention of meeting up with you.  Or maybe her interest was somewhat existent, but never enough to actually meet up with you.

In this case you could’ve played your cards right, and she liked you to a degree, but just not enough.  It’s like if you talk to a girl whose a 5 or 6 on a dating app.  You might just talk to her to have an option.  You liked her enough to match with her.  But you really just engage with her for you have some kind of option available.  There’s really no intention to date her.

Hopefully you guys rise above doing this.  Meaning you raise your standards to only talk to girls you want to date.  However I make the analogy so you can relate.

Girls aren’t evil for doing this, it’s just part of the dating game to have options.  There are women who won’t talk to guys they have no intention of meeting up with, but in today’s age, that’s not always the case.

3. Attention Needer

The attention needer is the last example.  The attention needer isn’t as common as the first 2, but she stands out more.  What separates an attention whore from a girl with not enough interest?

Well, to a degree you could say the 2nd example is also an attention needer.  But not really.

All girls need attention to a degree.  High quality women will get their attention from 1 man they love, and the rest of women get attention from multiple men.

However, the attention needer is different.  She’ll act like she’s super into you at first.  But then she’ll pull back hard out of nowhere.  Most girls will steadily lose interest over time.  If that’s the case, it’s the 2nd option above, “Interest wasn’t strong enough”.  However, when I get messages from guys saying “she stopped texting me everyday out of nowhere what happened?” I know they were dealing with an attention needer.

These are women that act super interested, but then always have an excuse why they can’t meet up or the girl goes cold texting suddenly.

Again, yes, most girls need attention.  However, the majority aren’t using you just for attention.   Most have some interest if they’re talking to you.  You either turned them off (Option 1) or the interest wasn’t enough (Option 2).  The attention needer will act super interested, and then she stopped initiating texts with you or stops responding right away.  That’s the difference.  She pulls back massively.

What to do when a Girl Goes Cold Texting

man spending too much time on dating apps

Hopefully the above section was clear so you understand why women go cold over texting.  Then you can spend more time with the girls who actually like you (Option 1), and avoid the other girls (low interest and attention needers) as much as possible.

That being said, if you didn’t get it, it’s all good.  Because if you just do this when a girl goes cold texting out of nowhere, then you’ll be good to go.

You ready for it?

Let her text you.

That’s it.  Let women text you back.   Don’t figure out how to send the perfect text.  Don’t worry what to do or what to text when she doesn’t text back.  That’s some bullshit.  If you just stop dealing with girls who go cold over texting, then less girls will stop texting you suddenly.

What if she never texts you?

Let’s say you’re worried that she stopped texting me and you want her to text back.

You don’t want my real advice.  Instead you just want the quick fix.  You want to get her attention.  Wait a minute, maybe there’s a text you could send to her to grab her attention.

You want to know what to text when she doesn’t text back to get her attention?

Nothing.  Even if you manage to get a response with a double text, she will lose all respect for you.  And worse, you’ll lose respect for yourself.  This is why there are tons of PUA’s that can get laid, but sell their balls to do it.  They can’t keep a girl around and they sell you guys on things like “secrets to getting girls to text you back” or “Send this 1 text when she doesn’t respond”.  All that is bullshit.  It doesn’t work. When a girl goes cold texting that’s it.

Every girl whose ever liked me and wanted to fuck me, date me, or just talk to me, has always texted back.  Anytime a girl goes cold texting I leave it at that.  The only time I see these girls again is when they respond later on.  Do NOT double text a girl.  I repeat.  Do NOT double text a girl.

I think you heard me but just in case.  “But wait she stopped texting me and I just want to hang out.”

Do NOT double text her.   Do NOT wait a week and send another text.  That’s still a double motherfucking text.

So what should you do? 

Move on and forget about her.  If she responds later on in the future, you can take it from there.

Too many guys overthink texting and this is why they end up texting girls poorly.  A girl goes cold texting often times because guys text too fast, text weird, double text, and so on.

If she stopped replying or she stopped texting you, simply leave it at that.  If her interest is enough to actually want to see you ever, she will hot you up eventually.  If she never hits you up, her interest was never high enough.  Women will hit up the guys they really want to.  They can’t help it.  She just might hit you up later if you STOP double texting her.

How to have girls actually text you back

how to make a girl like you over text

If you want to stop have women go cold over texting, then you need to do two things.

  1. Don’t check your phone often
  2. Text and forget

You shouldn’t be on your phone much anyways.  If you are, you check it,  respond to all of the messages, and that’s it. Text and forget.  Never go back in your phone and look at old messages that you sent and never got replies to.  If you stop doing that, more women will respond to you.

And respond when you see messages.  Check your personal phone text messages a 2 or 3 times a day.  Respond when you see the message, don’t overthink it.  If you freeze up or act beta, then fine, you can take a second to think about it.  Better to send a response later when you’re calm, cool, and collected.

Be a Man of Purpose

man focused loa

If you stop getting attached to women who haven’t done anything for you, then you’re texting game will improve dramatically.  If a girl goes cold texting then just let it be.  You should be so focused on your purpose that you barely notice.  the only time you should notice if a girl stopped texting you or went cold on you is if she’s a girlfriend or wife.  For women you just met or see casually, this shouldn’t even cross your mind.

Don’t be the guy that complains that she stopped texting me.  Instead, be the man that women stress over. Not because you hate them, you can support and appreciate the women in your life.  But be the man they stress over because you’re so focused on your purpose that you barely check your phone and aren’t worried about small things like getting a notification on your device.

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