Signs She’s Losing Interest + How to Build the Attraction Back
Knowing the signs she’s losing interest will save you time and prevent disappoint from girls you got too excited about.
You’re texting that cute girl you met at grocery store last weekend. Things seem to be going well, but then all of a sudden she stops texting you back. You thought you had such a good time for those few moments. It seemed like she liked you. The texting started off good, she was sending smiley faces, and showed high interest. But things died down and you never got to meet up with her.
Or that girl you bet at a bar. She seemed down to earth and willing to meet up. You agreed to meet up downtown at a different bar. But then the day of you never heard from her and she never showed up.
These are situations where a women might’ve had some interest but then it died down. Or you were never really sure of how interested she was. That’s why you need to learn the signs she’s losing interest so you can adjust accordingly.
What causes women to be attracted?
But before we get into the signs she’s losing interest, it’s important to know what causes women to be attracted.
Initially, it’s your things like your looks, status, and your confidence. Then once you two start talking her attraction can raise based off your how masculine you are overall, and how much you two vibe and connect.
There needs to be some level of attraction, and this can grow if have a strong masculine frame and can engage her well in conversation.
If she has no real interest from the beginning then it’s going nowhere.
Initial attraction, and then your personality.
So let’s start from the framework she has some interest in you. Meaning she thinks decent or really attractive from the get go. The way she becomes more attracted to you, or maintains it if it’s already high, is based off your masculinity. When you show that you’re indifferent to her, like you don’t need her, yet you’re still fun to be around, then her attraction to you will grow.
The more valuable she thinks you are, the more attracted she’ll be to you. You don’t need to fake being valuable, instead actually working becoming a valuable man.
Basically, women want a man who’s
- indifferent to whether or not he gets her
- fun to be around (doesn’t mean you need to be funniest guy around, just good vibes with her)
- in general a valuable man
It’s crucial to understand this because as we go over the signs she’s losing interest, you should be able to see where you’ve given up your value.
Signs she’s losing interest
Girlfriends and girls you’ve been seeing will take longer than a girl you just met to lose interest. But all women lose interest faster than you think. In fact, women lose interest faster than men. And when a woman loses interest in a man, it can take more to build it back up.
It’s not the end of the world if you see signs she’s losing interest. But it’s important that you’re able to tell so you can correct any approval seeking behavior that you currently have.
With a girls you just started dating
- Doesn’t initiate texting, and keeps things short
- Won’t commit to meeting up
- Not giving you eye contact or positive body language on a date
1. Doesn’t initiate texting, and keeps things short
One of the biggest signs she’s losing interest or had little interest to begin with can be seen from her texting. That’s why knowing how to text a girl is a small but important detail in modern dating. A girl who never texts you first and gives short responses doesn’t have high interest.
Women are on their phones all the time. If she wanted to hit you up, she would.
It’s fine if you meet a girl, get her number, and then text her later. You’ll have to do the pursuing at first with most women. But if she’s keeping things short with you, or never tries to text you once you two have already texted, she’s lost some interest.
2. Won’t commit to meeting up
It’s a red flag when she won’t commit to meeting up. Some women, especially hot ones, are texting a lot of dudes and might be short with some texts. But she’ll still meet up with you if she has a decent level of interest.
But when she won’t commit to meeting up she’s lost interest in you. If she was down to meet up before but now is giving excuses then her attraction to you has dropped, especially if you already met her in person before. If you met her online and haven’t met in person then she could just be a time waster. Or she had initial interest in you but lost it due to life circumstances or your game being weak.
3. Not giving you eye contact or positive body language on a date
A woman has a decent level of interest in you if she agrees to meet up.
But one of the major signs she’s losing interest is when she stops giving you eye contact or positive body language. On the flip side, consistent eye contact + body language is the strongest sign a woman likes you.
Don’t expect her to stare at you the whole time. But there should be healthy eye contact between the two of you. And she should also have her legs pointed at you or in your general direction. If a woman never gives eye contact and doesn’t seem engaged, then she’s losing interest or has lost it all the way.
With a girlfriend or friends with benefits
- Less sex or no sex
- Doesn’t tell you about her day
- Spending more time going out
- Starts to shit test you more
- Mentions other guys hitting on her more than before
1. Less sex or no sex
The less sex you have with a girl the less she likes you. For men in relationships, you usually start off getting a lot of sex and then this tapers down. This is normal to an extent, but you should still have regular sex at least 2-3 times per week then you’re maintaining a healthy sex life. Some weeks it may be 4 times and others maybe once or twice. However, if sex is hard for you to come by in a relationship then she’s lost a lot of interest in you.
2. Doesn’t tell you about her day
This may seem small, but a woman who’s interest in you will try to talk to you. This goes for girlfriends and girls you just started dating. If she’s not trying to talk to you then she’s not looking for your validation. Which means she’s probably looking for it elsewhere.
It’s not your job to be her best friend and talk for hours. Contrary to popular belief, your girlfriend or wife shouldn’t be your best friend. Life partner is one thing, but you two are more than friends.
But when she’s not interested in seeking out conversation with you then she’s losing attraction towards you. A lack of trying to talk to you is a major warning sign. The girl should be chasing your time.
3. Spending more time going out
This applies more to girls you’ve been seeing for a while or girlfriends. One of the big signs she’s losing interest is when she spends more time going out then she did before. She’s looking to have fun with her girls and meet new guys. Or she’s trying to make you jealous. Either way, she’s flaunting her sexuality by putting herself in situations where she’ll have tons of suitors try and shoot their shot.
4. Starts to test or fight with you more
Every woman tests from time to time. It’s part of how they measure your value and see if you’re still a man.
But when the tests happen more and more – usually because you keep failing them – she’s losing a lot of interest in you. You’re constantly showing her that you need her validation which turns her off. You need to be able to recognize and pass tests when they come up to prevent her from losing attraction.
5. Mentions other guys hitting on her more than before
When she mentions all the guys that hit on her then she’s bragging about the male attention she’s getting. This is a test to see how you react and a sign she’s losing interest all in one.
Every beautiful woman gets hit on often. And she might tell you about how bad some of the attempts are. But when she tells you about them more and more, and if she talks about any of them in a positive way, then you are looking at a woman who is openly measuring her options. She’s flexing her hypergamy on you.
Why women lose interest
Women lose interest for many specific reasons depending on the situation.
But assuming she has some level of interest in the beginning, she lost interest because
- you failed her tests
- overall you started acting needy
- she’s emotionally attached to another
Failed shit test or acting needy
These reasons apply to girls you just met and long time girlfriends. Failing a test on a first date or in a relationship can cause her to lose interest quickly. A long time girlfriend will still stick around for a while vs you might never see the girl you just met again. But it’s the same type of response.
Failing a test means you failed to hold a masculine frame. And she saw your value drop. This will be immediately followed by many of the signs she’s losing interest. From her body language to her attitude, and how she gets down in the bedroom. Acting needy is also a big turn off to women. You can act needy by always texting a girl back right away because you’re never busy, on a date with a hot girl you’re nervous with, or with a girl you’re dating.
These two reasons are the biggest causes of women losing attraction. If you see signs she’s losing interest, then reflect and see if you’ve been doing either of them. They usually go hand-in-hand, as failing multiple tests tends to lead to needy behavior and vice versa.
Emotionally attached to another man
If the girl you’re talking to is emotionally attached to another man, then it’s possible that you’ll see signs she’s losing interest, even if you thought you were doing fine. This can happen with girls you just met, or even cheating girlfriends.
In this case, given she’s not been in a relationship with you, you’re not at fault. You’ll handle her the same as you would with a girl that you acted needy or failed shit tests with.
How to build attraction back
You’ve seen the signs she’s losing interest. Your chances with her might be gone. Being beta isn’t an option. But you’d still like to keep this girl around. She might be your girlfriend of 5 years or a girl you just started dating. Essentially, it doesn’t matter. You pull back. If she’s your girlfriend, spend way less time with her. Come home late. Stay at the gym longer.
Wait until she starts to chase you again. It may be the next day, 3 days, or 3 weeks.
But with enough time, she’ll either move on or she’ll come back. If she comes back then you gave her enough time to build attraction and value you above her again. And if she doesn’t come back then she wasn’t ever going to value you enough.
Women lose interest when you give up your power
If you acted like a man like the rock, then she wouldn’t think you’re weak. And you’ll see signs she’s losing interest when you act weak. Women lose interest when you give up your power.
And you give up your power when you act needy and try to please them. In turn, alls you end up doing is failing their tests, boring them, and cause them to be turned off by your weak behavior.
Don’t give up your power. Learn the value you provide as a man. Make yourself worth something by valuing your time and not always being available.
Understand that woman want a man whose winning in life. They want a man who’s not desperate for them. If you’re developing oneitis for this girl then you’re messing up. Stop that shit and instead get on your purpose. Focus on building your wealth instead of worrying about this girl. Chances are she’ll miss you and her interest will rise.
Women need to know that you don’t need them, just want them. If you get this then you’ll reduce the times when you see signs she’s losing interest. You’ll be able to keep her attracted to you and maintain fun, healthy relationships with women in your life.
Just found this site today and I wanted to tell you that this is pute gold mine! Thank you for your effort!
Thanks brother. Appreciate the kind words and I’m glad you’ve found value from my articles. Comments like this motivate me to help more guys.
My 7month pregnant women doesnt send me text or either call me but I always should be the one doing that ,so I dont know what should do should I beg off or give her space as I been supportive to her pregnancy .
You should support her because she’s pregnant with your child. Doesn’t mean you always need to text or call her first. Obviously she’s not just some girl you sleeping with, so it’s fine for you to hit her up. But she should still be texting / calling you as well. Do not beg at all. No need to. Be supportive but no need to beg for her attention.
u fuckin right!!
Appreciate the support
Hey man, I’ve been reading your articles and have been following your tips but I’m stuck in this situation:
My girlfriend of a year and a half initiates texting, but she replies in one words and doesn’t start up a topic, I’ve tried to continue the flow of the conversation but she doesn’t “hit the ball” back properly so I don’t message her back when she keeps replying with one-word replies such as “Yeah”, “Damn” etc.
I don’t reply back instantly when she initiates either. What do I do?
I’ll do a podcast on this.
Hi, James. Is the pod up already?
Yea my man, top of the article you should see the YouTube video. That’s what I mean when I say podcast.
I met this girl and Added her on Snapchat Think we started off pretty good a week later I met her up for a hangout and we were just talking! It felt pretty good! I went home we snapped like usual and after a day she left me on open for 2 hours then replied! Then after some time she left me open for 6 hours! (Notice it was only regular snaps not a conversation) when ever I told her something she replied! Then after some time she left me open again for a day but she always snap back!… Read more »
Brother, if you want someone to be nice to you, this isn’t the place. I’m here to actually give you advice. You need to man the fuck up. There’s no nice way for me to say that, and if there was, it’d be diluting the message. Grow your balls my brother. You feel a genuine connection yet she leaves you on read all the time? You’re infatuated, if she thought you guys had that good of a connection, she’d be trying harder. Your attitude is too desperate. Women like you the more they invest. She’s not showing that much effort.… Read more »
Thank you James for the reply! I will try what you say! Thanks brother!
Best of luck to you my man, you got this
I got one more question! Haha sorry! I really feel like she lost interest pretty bad! Is there anything I could do? Or should I drop it hope for her to write in the future! Feel like I had a good chance and blew it! I’m sorry for talking but I really need som advice! :/
I really think I fu*ked up with that girl! Feels like she lost all interest! Is there anything I could do? Or just hope she will text and keep going with life? Sorry for asking so much but you were so supportive! :/
So everything is going good but 1 thing , ive been talking to this girl for about 3 months and i noticed that everytime i ask her why she feels a certain way about something or why do you want to do that she doesnt like to give an answer , so we do this thing on the phone since its quarantine thats she rubs herself to me talking , i know it sounds weird but she likes it for some reason but anyway she all of a sudden after we did it said she didnt wanna do it anymore… Read more »
PS: i just told her that im not dealing with that idk shit and that indirect shit and to not text me until she figures that out
Women don’t know why they act or feel certain things, you’re treating her feelings in a logical manner. She doesn’t know how to answer it, she just goes off her feelings, and just gets annoyed when you ask.
Lol if she’s rubbing one off to the sound of your voice then she will definitely want to do that again. She just doesn’t want to seem like a hoe or wants to keep you guessing. Don’t trip. Only matter of time before she hears your voice again and will be back for more.
You want a woman just to be direct with you because that’s how you communicate, but that’s a masculine way of doing things.
If you deal with feminine women, they’re going to communicate indirectly. You can call them out when needed when they disrespect you but this isn’t your girlfriend and she probably just wants to sleep with you. Don’t take her that seriously man just have a good time and let things play out.
yea well i kinda already told her that i dont like that indirect shit and that she can text me when she straightens that shit out so should i text her back or wait for her too text me back?
No worries man don’t dwell on it. Once you text a girl don’t look at the convo again until she texts back. Text and forget.
alright thank you
Soooo…. I’ve been dating this girl for like a couple of weeks. She was hella intrested at first like wanted me coming over every night and stuff. She also is kinda really depressed and I thought I was helping. For some reason she slowed down on texting me. I dont know why she stop messaging me so much. She still hangs with me when I ask and its really nice but other wise I feel worthless to her and she stopped asking for me to come.i don’t think she’s talking to anyone else and I am a little needy but… Read more »
Hi! So I met this girl 3 months ago, and things were going great, we went on a date a week after we met. Two weeks later I invited her to a party I was having at my place (more of a pregame before heading out to a club) everything was going great, we went to the club and started dancing then one of my friends wanted to dance with but she only wanted to dance with me and so we did, she then told me she was tired and I asked if she wanted to head back to my… Read more »
It’s rough to read because she liked you but you never made a solid move to escalate to sex. Then she lost attraction. This part right here – “”what if I told you I just wanted to chill?” I responded by saying “yeah that’s fine!” ” – you didn’t take initiative.She wanted to chill at your place and have sex, but you couldn’t take a hint. You should’ve said “Yea come through and we’ll watch tv”. She didn’t want to go on the hike, she wanted to sleep with you. Then you still proceeded to go on the hike, she… Read more »
Thanks for replying! I appreciate your insight. I already have her added on social media since we started talking, if she hits me up then I’ll take my chance, if not then it’s all good! I’ll take it as a learning experience!
Ive been txting a girl for a month and we went for a walk, then she came round to mine, no sex but had a great night. She wanted to come by the next night and i said yes great! Once she went home, she started worring about who knew about us seeing each other and said the next morning we better not see each other until people stopped talking about us. I tried to ask a few questions etc but no reply, shes mow gone very cold with one word answers if I txt her. I haven’t txt her… Read more »
Hi, This site is great. I’m learning lots. Anyway, I have been talking to a neighbor recently who is super hot. We’ve had a few good chats and hit it off pretty well. We were discussing careers and I found out that she works in a field that my company requires as a freelancer. I asked if she wanted to do some work for us and she said yes. I sent her the details and she said she would look at it. Since then we had another couple of good chats and I think she was purposefully bumping into me.… Read more »
Dam you’re on point with my life right now. Been going out with a girl for 3 years and since quarantine, I’ve noticed shes been super cold with short responses (1-3 words) on text and impossible to meet up with but at the same time shes been hanging out with friends, family and coworkers (hows that possible)?! She works in a male dominated field, and shes talked about a couple guys positively (i.e. singing songs, one guy’s a model, etc), but I’m starting to believe she hasn’t told me everything. Our relationship has acted on and off and I’ve confronted… Read more »
We were chatting on Snapchat and it feft great but I just took screenshots of our messages because my best friend wants to know that I was really talking to her or not so I took it and she got the message that I took screenshot of our messages and she unfriend me and she’s not adding me back and she’s really into me what I should do now
You embarrassed her in order to impress your friend. Never look from approval from your friend again. Don’t screenshot messages on snapchat.
RJ.. My GF has me by the balls. We have a 9 week old baby. Stuck in uk lockdown. I’ve lost my job and failed loads of shit tests. She also started following random guys on instagram to try and make me jealous because I had girls on my instagram. I’ve started working out again, focusing on getting a new job but how do i build the attraction back and take back power? Using day to day interactions? I want to start flirting etc but I dont wanna be the one whos chasing it always seems like me doing all… Read more »
Don’t worry about flirting, that takes more interest from her, and she doesn’t deserve you flirting with her. It’s hard if you live with her, but distance yourself as much as possible.
You have the right idea with working out and applying for new jobs. Keep on that grind. Besides taking care of the baby with her, pull back your attention. If you stay consistent she’ll cave in and start to pursue you more.
It’s so hard right now. I’m having to spend more time in the house just due to the virus rules. Nothing is open. Sports is finished. The time in the house should I be just very busy all the time? Like working out in the garden, pursuing work and setting up a business, keeping on top of the housework but assigning her tasks and looking after our son. Proving my vaulue by staying in touch with friends? The other part is how cold should I be with her? Or should I just be my former self before I lost my… Read more »
You already know what to do. Do the things you mentioned you should, get back to your busy self, get that ambition back, and she’ll fall in line.
Thanks brother! You the real MVP
So i met this girl through a gaming platform and i hit her up by asking her number. We started off being friends for the 1st week of stay-in at home. we decided to be in a Online GF/BF or LDR after that. We have been talking for 2 months now, like everyday. Most of the time, we’ll be spenting our times calling each other to do gaming, movies, shows and etc. After some time of video/calls. she started to distant herself and giving cold replies or late replies. Even rejecting my calls/video calls! I don’t understand her at all!… Read more »
Only deal with girls you know in real life.
Thank you for the response! i know what i needed to do now 🙂
Hey there, awesome content bro. I’ve started dating this girl who I really like for almost 4 months, RIGHT after she broke up with her 5 years ex. Stuff ain’t official yet and the thing is, over this whole period, even though we’ve had crazy amazing fun times, sometimes she’s pursuing me fully, other times she completely ignores me (someting like 70-30%). I tried to be chill and let things play out but when she does something disrespectful like ditching a date last minute I call her out and she always apologises in a sweet manner trying to fix it.… Read more »
You got with her right after a very long term relationship, so yes you’re a rebound. This is the problem with dating women right after a long term relationship. She’s not over the other guy. She distracted herself with you but eventually she’ll have to deal with that pain. If she’s ditched dates on you and still acts badly after you’ve called her out, it’s a lost cause. You did good holding her accountable. But if she’s not putting in effort, it’s time to move on. The best move is to stop dating her. You have already done the right… Read more »
Thing is, she doesn’t act badly. She tries to work out stuff that I call her out for and talks to me about it. And I would assume somebody that aint that much into you, wouldn’t spend a second being “nagged” at. She puts effort, as I mentioned, like 70% of the time, but I definatelly see your point. I will have a talk and withdraw my attention completely if she tells me she still has feelings for her ex.
Hey man I’ve been dating this girl for 2 years a 6 months it’s been a bumpy road but things better so in the begging of the relationship I was pretty shitty and didn’t give enough effort but she gave me the world, but anywho eventually she had enough and she wanted to split that’s when I knew I wanted her I changed for her and myself and I’ve became a man I’m proud of today and a good boyfriend. But sadly when she gets stressed or overwhelmed she or when things get bad she wants to leave so needless… Read more »
Nvm we lost her it’s just how it goes I guess
It was an interesting read im 9 times out of 10 for certain a woman wrote the article. Because it sounds biased and one sided like a typical woman’s thinking. It kind of makes that typical stale argument that men are not supposed to or allowed to fall in love and be as cold as a typical winter day in Alaska. I do t always agree with this type of misogynistic thinking. Also, while “the rock” might seem to be a perfect specimen of a guy…to compare every guy to the rock is hardly a fair fight. Number one the… Read more »
So my girlfreind is stubborn and insecure I have to make her talk to get her to talk she makes plenty of eye contact and states at me but more often than just not she won’t tell me about her day or anything like that unless I ask I don’t press on it but she never has and she gets upset if I’m to slow even when I’m working she just don’t talk when we are on the phone much unless ask a question does this mean she’s losing interest or what, this seems like a good place for advice… Read more »
Ok here is the situation,I met this women at her job (gas tendent).she has interest in me telling me about how her boyfriend of 8yrs.treats her like shit
you think it’s hard to leave a relationship, but you are experiencing any sign of infidelity you need to say to yourself, “I can do better,” and just leave. I had no choice but to contact a pro tech guy who I got introduced to by my friend, he helped me spy my partners phone and I found out she was cheating , I even got to see her deleted messages, pictures and videos. I had no choice but to confront her and leave the relationship Because it became too toxic for me. I know someday I would find the… Read more »