July 18

Victim Mentality: Feeling bad for yourself will ruin all progress


Victim Mentality: Feeling bad for yourself will ruin all progress

victim mentality

Having a victim mentality can ruin all of your potential progress and future success.  If you aren’t making positive changes in life, especially with all of the opportunity available to you with modern technology, you probably have some degree of a victim mentality.

What is the Victim Mentality

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Victim mentality – it’s when you wallow in self pity.  You feel bad for yourself and blame life for beating you down.  This will murder all motivation for you to progress and rise up.  It’s one of the worst ways to think, yet most men and people in general have a victim mentality throughout their lives.

They say things like

  • “I can never get a good boss”
  • “all of these girls suck”
  • “They aren’t doing this for me”

and a million other ways to justify their in action to get what they want.  And that’s what the victim mentality is.

Protecting yourself

It’s a mindset most people develop to protect their own ego.  People form a victim mentality so they don’t feel bad about themselves.  It’s a ways to relive the responsibility of the outcome of their lives.  But if you never change this way of thinking, then you’ll always be stuck at a low level in life.  Because you’ll keep on making excuses to not feel bad about yourself.  And deep down you know you’ll always be justifying why life is a certain way when you know you can change it.

Most people, especially as they get older, are bitter about the things they didn’t do but could’ve.  That’s why they make stories in which they’re the victim.  It gives them an out.  But at the end of the day, this will just lead to a miserable existence and you falling dramatically short of your potential.

That’s why you need to destroy your inner victim and re-program yourself.

How to destroy your victim mentality

We’re diving right into it.  Knowing how to destroy your victim mentality is one of the few things that can happen almost overnight.  That is if you’re willing to just admit you’ve been fucking up and make the change from victim to victory.  You do that by:

  1. Accept responsibility for your life
  2. Make goals in the areas of your life you want to improve
  3. Take action

1. Accept responsibility for your life

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The first thing you need to do is accept responsibility for your life.  Accepting responsibly can happen in a split second.  You might need to remind yourself daily for the next few weeks about your position in life being your fault.  But it can happen extremely quickly.

Most people never get past this step because they don’t want to accept responsibly for their life.  They’d rather be a victim.

While being a victim long term hurts you, it’s the easier thing to do in the short term.  It’s an excuse not to do hard things, break out of your comfort zone, and feel like shit for not doing shit with your life.  Most men have a victim mentality because it’s easier to blame other scenarios or people for where they are in life.

Do some people have advantages?  For sure.  I’m a naturally good looking guy with a deep voice.  I’m not the tallest guy or richest man in the world.  But I don’t need to be to have a huge advantage over the average dude.  This gives me more exposure to women and gives me an advantage in the dating game.

Don’t take the easy way out

Is that an excuse for an ugly guy to not work on himself and improve his sexual value in the sexual market place?  A man with a victim mentality would say that’s his excuse.  A non-victim would use it as motivation.  He’d see there’s competition and work extra hard in the gym, increase his style game, get on his purpose, and become a more attractive mating option.  In the end he’d have much better dating options with women than he did previously.  He may not compete with a super stud, but he can still massively increase his options and quality of his experiences with women.

He needs to accept that he could do better if he put in the work.  Life isn’t fair or equal.  But what you do about it is.  This applies not just to the dating game but also to business, sports, social standing, everything.  You need to accept that you could be doing better, and regardless of your advantages or disadvantages, it’s in your power to improve your position.

This is the hardest thing for people to do if they’ve been protecting their ego for years.  However, if you just accept that your life is your doing, then you can easily advance to the next two steps.

2. Make goals in the areas of your life you want to improve

how to be confident - man whiteboard goals

Once you’ve accepted responsibility for your life, you’re free to make real goals.  You know that you can improve in the areas you care about.  And while this can hurt at first, it soon becomes something that empowers you.

You have control over your life.

Now you can set goals that will get you to where you want to be.

In business this could mean getting the job you wanted.  Or better yet, it could be starting your own business based on something you love.  It could be specific around creating wealth like making 100k, 150k, or just getting your first client for a testimonial.

With women it could be to get a quality girlfriend.  Or it could be to get amazing at sex with the girlfriend you have.  Maybe you’re single and want to date multiple women or just get a fuckbuddy.

It can be something unrelated like starting a hobby you’ve wanted to like martial arts or dancing.  Or a fitness goal like loose 10 pounds, get bigger arms, and so on.

3. Take action

man figuring out purpose

And lastly, it comes down to action.  That’s what it takes to get results.  It takes putting in the work and being consistent.

Building my blog took a few years of producing quality content (although my writing skills could use work) that provides value to you guys before I ever was able to make money.  Getting good at dance, which helped me get laid indirectly a lot and some directly, took a more than a year to get decent enough to compete and build decent skills.  And still longer to get to an actually legit level which is still a work in progress.

Martial arts like boxing and bjj took hours for me to even get to a point where I felt this would help me in a fight.

Getting girls comes easy to me, at last attracting them, but leading relationships, keeping attraction high, passing shit tests, and learning how to fuck like a sex god took tons of experience and action.

It takes action to get  good at anything, especially building a business that will bring you financial freedom.

But whatever your mission is, it’s going to require action.  And if you destroy your victim mentality, then taking action on your goals will be the only choice you have.

What it comes down to

The difference between victims and conqueror’s is action.  Victims complain because they’d rather sit on the sidelines then put in the work.  Conquerors take action and figure out a way to go after their goals.  Destroy your victim mentality by taking responsibility for your life and taking action to get what you want. It’s  that simple.


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