Why Women Love Emotionally Unavailable Men

Why Women Love Emotionally Unavailable Men

Women go crazy for emotionally unavailable men.  Because they complain about these guys so much, naive nice guys try their hardest to show how “vulnerable” they can be.  And by showing tons of emotion towards women, the women are  actually the ones emotionally unavailable to these weak men.

On the contrary, the men who the women are completely emotionally about are the emotionally unavailable men.  That’s why the women always complain about them.  However, what most women don’t realize is that complaining about emotionally unavailable men won’t do anything.

For any woman reading this – if you complain about these men, then you’ll get more of those men. Because with complaining or wit gratitude, either is is just the negative or positive version of each other.  You get whatever you focus on, positive or negative.

The betas who listen to the women complain and try to change are the ones the women run from.

It’s like when a girl tries to “figure you out”.  That means she likes you.  But if she ever feels like she really knows you, like knows everything about you, then she sees you as an equal and loses  interest.  This is why the happiest old couples you see who’ve been together for 50 years always say things like “We’ve known each other for 50 years, have 6 kids, and I still learn something new about him everyday”.

And most of those old guys aren’t “vulnerable” or weak.  They have a good time, can laugh, but are always emotionally strong.  When the modern woman says emotionally unavailable, that’s why she really means in man talk.  She means she wants to opposite of her.  She wants a real man.

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Emotionally unavailable = emotional control = a man that always maintains his calm.

The term emotionally unavailable makes sense to women because to them, they think that the emotions are being reserved.  They want to “fight” for this man and get him to show emotions.

This is how women think about it.  When I say women want emotionally unavailable men,I’m saying in practical man language is that they want a man in control of his emotions.  The man in control of his emotions doesn’t get emotional over a woman.  And this is what causes the woman to like the man in the first place.

Men who have control of their emotions get the most women.  They don’t put women on a pedestal.  Instead, they treat them like human beings.  Being emotionally unavailable doesn’t mean you’re mean or nasty.  It also doesn’t mean you’re pandering or weak or always around.

You’re cool, calm, collected, never getting emotional.

Women call guys emotionally unavailable to try to shame us to get us to be more emotional.  It’s essentially a shit test.  If you start acting weak, and getting emotional about things, she loses attraction.  If you don’t care about her shaming tactics and stay cold, calm, and masculine, she’ll continue to chase you.

The Law of Polarity 

I’ve discussed one of the universal laws, the law of polarity, here before.  Essentially this law states that everything has an opposite.  This law perfectly shows us why women love emotionally unavailable men.

Women are emotional creatures naturally.  When a man has little to no emotion, this allows her to be emotional.  This polarity attracts her to him.  And it maintains the attraction.  When a man shows too much emotion, the law of polarity comes into play, which forces the woman to have less emotion.  However, this changes things.  If a woman isn’t allowed to have a certain amount of emotion for a man, she loses attraction.

It doesn’t work the same way.  If a man has little emotion  for a woman, he can still be attracted to her.  He may not care much about her, but he will still hang out with her, sleep with her, and date her to an extent.  And because he’s emotionally unavailable, she strives to get him to show emotion.  This causes her to further invest and invest into him.

Can you show zero emotion?

Of course  you can show some emotion.  It’s impossible for you to show zero emotion, especially after some time.  When you first meet a woman, you can be completely emotionally unavailable.  But after sleeping with her multiple times and spending time with her, chances are you will have some level of emotion towards her.  Especially if she’s a high quality woman whose sweet and feminine towards you.  If she’s acting masculine or she’s below your standards, you may still be emotionally unavailable towards a woman for as long as you two interact.  But if she’s up to your physical standards and she’s of a certain quality, you’re going to have some emotions towards her.

You don’t have to deny this or lie to yourself.  Whether you want to have short term relationships or long term relationships, you should care about the women you’re with.  If you don’t, then you’d never enter into a committed relationship in the first place.  So if you’re a player and single for life, then you could be completely emotionally unavailable to every girl you meet for the rest of your days.

But if we’re being honest, that’s none of us.  even for you guys who vow to be single, it’s usually because you’ve been heart broken at some point.  Which is fine, I’m not hating on that and I’m also no above it.  However, the point is to illustrate that you will develop some feelings for women.

That’s fine.

You will develop emotions for women to a degree.  And if you want to have solid, healthy relationships, this is normal.  But… you must regulate this.  If you want to be a woman’s partner, go for it.  If you want to be her man, and her be your woman, then you must remain in control of your emotions.

You regulate your emotions by:

  1. No developing feelings until she’s invested in you
  2. Have the ability to recognize your feelings, and choose to act on them or let them pass

1. No developing feelings until she’s invested in you

You can develop emotions for a woman.  But not right away. And not for nothing.  Too many men invest emotions in a woman before she’s done anything.  Some men even will get emotional over a woman they matched with on a dating  app whose hot and showed some interest in him.  Then they get so emotional they ruin the interaction or hook up with her once and never hear from her again.

Other guys have a little bit better control but still end up getting emotional within a few weeks which causes the women to run like they’re trying  out for the summer Olympics.

She must put in work.  When a woman has put in effort into your life, you can develop some emotions for her.  And I don’t just mean she sucks your dick.  I mean she actually invests her energy into your life.  This could be her spending money on you, or just doing thoughtful things.  Hell, even a woman who texts you often to wish you a good day is investing into your happiness.

When a woman has consistently added value to your life over a period of time, then you can develop emotions towards her.  This doesn’t mean you start acting weak and get all emotional.  You have emotions, but she must have the majority of the emotions.  This keeps her in her feminine state.  So while you’re not actually completely emotionally unavailable, you’re still always unbothered.  You’re able to flirt with her, have conversations, and keep her accountable when needed.

2. Have the ability to recognize your feelings, and choose to act on them or let them pass

Yes I said it, you need to recognize your feelings.   This will make it possible to regulate your emotions when you’re with a woman and just in life.

No, I’m not telling you to be a beta.  Quite the opposite.   You’ll still appear emotionally unavailable to women when you regulate your feelings.  And while this isn’t the actual truth, it can appear that way.

When you’re able to recognize your feelings, you’re not a slave to them anymore.   People can recognize the feelings have after the feeling leaves them.  But very few people actually recognize the feeling they have in the moment and decide what to do with it.

Gain self awareness 

Meditation helps massively with this.  Whether you take on meditation or just become more mindful in your life, you’ll be able to recognize emotions when they come up.  As they come up, you can decide to use them, or let them pass, as need be.  Sam Harris’s waking up app is a great guided meditation that you can do for 10 minutes a day.

Let’s look at the use of self awareness and control in a relationship example.

For example, your girlfriend could be making you mad because she starts to slam things around.  She’s mad and she’s trying to get you mad too.  You can feel your anger, recognize it, and then choose not to feel it.  To choose to let your feeling of anger that you got from her, to let it pass.  Emotions come up all the time, but we tend to latch on to them.  If you’re self aware, you can choose to let it go when it’s not beneficial to you.

As a result of you not getting emotional from her emotions, she may match your energy, calm down, and come sit by your lap.

The second scenario she gets more mad and then comes up and yells at you.  Now you can choose to wait a second, let your anger pass, then calmly, yet firmly tell her to sit down, apologize, and be respectful.  In this way you didn’t stoop to her level, checked her, yet also were able to be rational and masculine.  Then when she sees her emotions don’t get you emotional, yet you’re still a man and don’t tolerate bullshit, she’ll become even more in love with you.

Am I emotionally unavailable?

A quick test to see if you’re an emotionally unavailable man, aka a solid man who does well with women.

If you’re single, do you have lots of dating options and never get bothered by what a woman does?

If yes, then you’re an emotionally unavailable man, aka an intelligent man with control over his emotions.

Do you you have a girlfriend / wife, is your girlfriend / wife in love with you while you remain unbothered by her emotions?  Do you stay in your masculine and don’t react to her, instead she reacts to you?  Then you’re an emotionally unavailable man, or also known as a good leader of a solid relationship.

Emotionally unavailable really just means you have control of your emotions.  Since women generally lack control over their emotions in sexual / romantic relationships, they want the opposite.

Becoming emotionally unavailable doesn’t mean you become mean to women, that would also involve getting emotional.  Instead it means you’re focused on your purpose and aren’t going to get bothered by her emotions.  You know her emotions change like the tides of the ocean, and you’re the rock that never changes despite how hard or how soft the ocean wages against it.

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1 month ago

I love your explanation….. But at the end of the day my man is also a human being so I would love if he would share his burden or distress with me from time to time……it proofs that we both can be a support system for each other.❤️

Reply to  Rebellious Development
1 month ago

I think there is a need of some emotions (I can’t handle emotional manipulation though am too sensitive for that) to be vulnerable from both sides…… Well my man is probably gonna be physically, mentally or intellectually stronger than me so it’s only emotionally that I can make him feel safe and protected……….if I can’t even do that then I am literally useless to him Call me idealistic but I want to be my man’s safe space where he can just forget about every worries he have within my embrace And he will be my protector, someone I can depend… Read more »

Reply to  Ruth
1 month ago

yeah… a lot of these views about masculinity just sound really toxic. men are humans too! let them have something as simple as happiness please. if the women (and men) around you tell you to shut up and stop expressing yourself, remove them from your life because that’s toxic as hell. as an afab, i really don’t find someone that seems like they don’t give a shit about me very attractive anyways. what about that is to like? “you will never know a single thing about me, not my hobbies, not my interests, not my feelings, only my rock-hard abs… Read more »

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